Yellow Roses of Kindness

 I am a member of a Facebook group for people who have had a sibling die.  Way back in April, I posted this: 

 

“I live in South Arlington, VA, near Arlington National Cemetery. It is a beautiful place, and I sometimes go there to visit the gravesites of my in-laws.

 

Do you have a sibling buried there, but you do not live near enough to visit? If so, I would love to visit their gravesite for you and leave a flower. I would send you a photo. 

 

Just let me know. My sister is buried too far away for me to go visit, so I understand the feeling of wishing you could stop by but you can't.”

 

The way I look at it, living near the capital of the country is a privilege, and I try to use that privilege to help others when possible.  So, if I could use an hour or two of my time to visit the grave of a loved one and help someone feel even a tiny bit better, well then, I consider that time well spent.

 

A person who lives in California commented on my post.  She said: 

 

“I know it’s a bit further than Arlington National Cemetery but would you be willing to go to the police officers’ memorial for me and leave a flower?”.

 

Of course I said yes.

 

It has been 2 ½ months since that “yes”, and it has been weighing heavily on my mental to-do list.  So, this morning I decided that today was the day.  I was off of work, the sun was shining, and I had a plan - go to Trader Joe’s and buy a dozen roses.  I would use one of those roses to decorate the woman’s brother’s space on the memorial.

 

Great plan.  But what to do with the other 11 roses? 

 

Another plan – GIVE THOSE AWAY TO STRANGERS.

 

Now let me tell you this.  As much as I like to talk to strangers, offering them gifts out of the blue is a bit scary.  It just is not something that is normally done in our culture.  So, when you do it, you have to have thick skin and be ready for rejection, because not everyone is going to take you up on your offer, no matter what you are giving away.  Trust me on this one, I have learned that lesson. 

 

Anyway, step one:  TRADER JOE’S FOR ROSES.

 

But which roses??  There were so many!

 

Of course, there were classic red roses. 

 

Pink ones.

 

White.

 

Oh, the coral ones that I always love.

 

And yellow.  Bright yellow…

 

Today is Juneteenth, and there is some yellow/gold associated with that holiday.  So, even though I wouldn’t usually choose the yellow roses, today for some reason I did.

 

I checked out and then went to my “station”: I stood outside the door of the grocery store.

 

My plan was to offer roses to people as they left.  I thought giving them to people coming IN would be awkward – where do you keep a rose while you shop, and would it be confusing trying to explain to the cashier that it was already paid for by some random stranger?  So, target EXIT-ERS.

 

As I got the roses out of the cellophane and awkwardly stood alone in the sunshine, I felt uncomfortable…  Rejection was right around the corner.  Why do I put myself in those situations?  Flashbacks of the people thinking David and I were complete weird-os for offering them free pie on Pi Day…

 

Push through.  The sun is shining.  You have ROSES TO GIVE AWAY!

 

I smiled at a woman as she was coming out of the store and held out a rose.  “Here!  Would you like a flower?” I think I said, I can’t remember (see above – this can be a bit stressful…).

 

She smiled and took the flower.  Then she did something that really surprised me – she called me by name! 

 

“Susan?  I know you!!” she said. 

 

Turns out, she and I are in the same Buy Nothing group and she recognized me!  What are the chances that the very first person I offered a flower to actually knew me? 

 

Well then, rose number one given away and it went so well, I felt more comfortable.  I held out flowers and smiled, everyone except one person smiled back and accepted the gift.  One woman was especially happy and said that yellow is her favorite color.

 

I was focusing on women, but I decided to try a man.  I mean, the worst that could happen is he said no, right?  “Excuse me sir, would you like a rose?”.

 

He smiled awkwardly and shook his head no.

 

I countered, “Maybe you have someone that you would like to give it to???”.

 

The awkward smile was replaced by a genuine one as he accepted the gift.  “Why yes!  Yes. I do!” he said.

 

The woman from Buy Nothing returned and asked if she could take a photo of the stranger and I.  She later posted it in the group, saying, “Our very own Kindness Activist, Susan Thompson Gaines, once again spreading joy in the form of roses to unsuspecting shoppers. ”

 

How sweet!

 

I gave away 10 roses and decided to keep 2 to bring to the Police Officers’ Memorial.  I had never been and wasn’t sure what it would look like, so maybe 2 roses would be needed.

 

We waited out a huge summer storm, then went into DC.  The Memorial is beautiful – similar to the one for Vietnam.  Names of fallen officers are etched in stone and a beautiful fountain was flowing.  The woman whose brother is honored there had told me which section to look in, and it didn’t take long to find his name.

 

Doing kind acts like this one is truly an honor.  I looked up the man’s name in a directory at the site and learned that he died recently, 2023.  I thought about him and wondered about his life.  Who, besides his sister, did he leave behind…  I tried to make a rubbing of the name to send to the woman, but everything was still wet from the rain so it didn’t work.

 

As we were getting ready to go, I noticed 3 people across the way.  They seemed focused on one spot on the wall.  I guessed that they were likely there to honor a loved one who had died.

 

“Let’s take one of the roses and walk that way,” I said to David.  “If they don’t already have a flower, we can give them this one.”

 

Off we went, ready to hand the 11^th rose to a stranger.

 

As we approached, I saw that they had taped a photo of their loved one above his name.  He was young, as were the 2 children standing near us who had lost their father.  They looked like they were young teens. 

 

I commented on how nice the photo was.  I asked if they would like a rose to leave at the site and held it out.

 

The woman raised her hand to take it, but had a bit of a surprised look on her face.

 

“A YELLOW ROSE.  Yellow.  That is what he always gave me!  I don’t like red roses, he always gave me yellow…”.

 

The children smiled and repeated, “A YELLOW ROSE!”.

 

That’s when I knew why the yellow flowers called my name.  It was as if somehow the fallen officer was giving his love a rose again.

 

They thanked us.  We took some photos for them and said goodbye.

 

Roses for strangers.

 

Strangers outside the grocery store.

 

A stranger from the internet.

 

And a stranger who lost her husband.

 

Yes, roses for strangers.

 

That was the best $11.65 of Kindness Activist funds that I have spent in a very long time.

P.S. - I love to imagine all of the kindness ripples that took place today because of these flowers and this kindness...  The woman who did not get a flower because I didn't have one left to offer her, but still came up to me and said, "I saw what you were doing.  That was very, very kind...".  The man who was brave enough to take the flower from a stranger, who no doubt re-told the story of how he had it when he passed it on to his loved one.  The family at the memorial who are likely telling all their friends about the mysterious yellow rose...  And the woman whose brother was honored at the memorial.  Kindness ripples all around.  Gives me goosebumps.

 

 

 

Little Yellow Free Pantry - It Takes a VILLAGE!

Have you ever wondered about who donates to the Little Yellow Free Pantry and why?

Maybe it’s just me 😊 .  After all, I am pretty close to the project.  But I sometimes think, “Out of all of the places that people can donate and help out, how did we get so lucky that they chose the pantry??”.

So, this week, instead of just wondering, I asked! 

A very kind neighbor and frequent donor agreed to answer some questions so I could get to the heart of what drives them to be so kind.  Their answers definitely inspired me and I think they will you, too!  Please check them out.

Some members of the Pantry Crew hard at work :) 

Information about how YOU can get involved and help feed the community is at the end of this piece.

Why do you choose to donate to the Little Yellow Free Pantry?

Oh, so many reasons! The biggest is that I know that not everyone who has food insecurity qualifies for benefits like SNAPs, WIC, and official food banks, and that even if they do, those benefits are pretty meager.  I like that the LYFP includes both staples like beans, rice, soup, etc., and “fun things” like condiments and spices. Also, necessities like soap, shampoo and dishwashing liquid that aren’t covered by SNAPs.

Also, it is easy, because of the online shopping angle and because it’s very close to where I live, so it’s fairly easy to drop off a contribution on most days.

On a personal level, I haven’t had to rely on public assistance (knock on wood), but in my younger years I certainly was helped by friends and family, and I know what it’s like to live on a tight food budget. Not gonna lie, I still can’t open a can of tuna for myself, although I’m happy to donate it.

 

What do you like to donate?  What is your favorite thing to donate?

I like to mix it up! I do like knowing what staples the pantry is urgently short of, so when Susan sends out a list, that guides my choices that week. When it seems like the basics are covered, it’s fun to shop for condiments, spices, and other treats that help make meals more interesting. And sometimes I like to throw in something different -- like a can of beets, sauerkraut or collard greens – that someone might be craving as a change of pace. And I really get a kick out of finding something that isn’t on the list but that turns out to be a hit with the guests.

Note from Kindness Activist:  You are soooo good at mixing it up!  When I see a bag of donations from you, I get excited just wondering what might be in it! 

Sometimes you send things and sometimes you shop locally and bring them over.  Just curious why both methods (I love that it is both ways!).

Well, that gets into my main method for donating. I get points for using a credit card that is tied to my Amazon account, so when I build up a lot of points, I go to the online wish list to cash them in. When I take a vacation or have to shell out for car repair or new glasses, the LYFP benefits! I know, I could use the points for myself, but I don’t really need more stuff, and somehow knowing that I will be able to use the points to help other people makes the cost of that new dental implant less painful. (I know that shopping at Amazon is controversial for a lot of people, but remember that I am getting the pantry food from there free by spending money at other places, so ….)

 

As for the local shop, I enjoy scouting the grocery bargains, and there, too, there are often bonus points in play. This week, for example, buying three cans of black beans, which the pantry seems to always need, earned me some extra bonus points, which can be “spent” on things either for myself of to donate. I like to compare the prices of the local store with Amazon and Costco, for example, and when I can buy locally for less, I try to do that. The local supermarket specials also can inspire what I donate that week.

Note from Kindness Activist:  this act of generosity makes my heart so happy.  As you said, you totally COULD use those points for things for yourself.  The fact that you choose to use them to be kind…  You are amazing.  Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

How does it make you feel to help out the pantry?

It’s fun! I really do use it as retail therapy at times, but deeper than that, it’s an expression of gratitude for the life I have enjoyed. And I do like thinking about the person who gets a reprieve from worrying about how to feed their kids that day or who gets to have a different flavor than usual.

Note from Kindness Activist:  we feel the same way!!  Knowing that the pantry helps spice up someone’s day and fill bellies makes us feel GOOD.

Ever met a pantry guest when you came over or see someone getting food at the LYFP?

A couple of times there has been someone getting food at the pantry. I don’t put things right into the pantry unless Susan asks me to (!), but once when she did, I did quietly offer some things to a man who was perusing the selection, but I tried not to make a big deal if it because if I were in his position, I wouldn’t want someone making a big deal of it.

 

Anything else you would like to say?

I have learned a lot by paying attention to what Susan says the pantry guests need. I hadn’t, for example, thought about the number of people who do have housing but don’t have much in the way of cooking facilities, so that they really do need foods that are microwaveable or otherwise simple to prepare. I do try to donate a variety of things for people in different situations: People who can cook in kitchens and need ingredients, people who don’t have full kitchen access but have some way to heat foods, and people who really don’t have a way to store or cook much of anything.

I know that there will always be someone who grabs the convenience food even if they don’t really “need-need” it – although most of us occasionally reach for convenience food – and there will probably always be someone who doesn’t need free food at all but takes it anyway. I worked in an office where there were always a few of those people. But that doesn’t outweigh, to me, the benefits of helping the people who do need what’s in the LYFP.

 

I also would like to remind people that they don’t have to donate foods that they don’t agree with or believe in, whether that’s meat or sugar or GMO or whatever. I’m not interested in donating toaster pastries or sugary drinks, so I don’t. I get that kids like them, but I’ll spend my money (and points) on other stuff, and that’s ok. Someone else might not want to donate pork products like Spam, and that’s ok. Donate what resonates with you, and someone will want it!

Note from Kindness Activist:  the Pantry has taught the Pantry Crew a LOT, too!  Like you said, we hadn’t thought about the people who have a roof over their head but no access to a kitchen.  In our community, many people rent rooms in homes, and some of those rentals do not come with a shared kitchen.  We also went into this project with the (wrong) assumption that most of the guests who come to use the pantry would not have housing.  While we DO have guests experiencing homelessness, we also have many who have housing but not enough money left over after paying rent to put food on the table.   We have lots of guests who come after working long shifts, too.  They are productive, contributing members of our community who just need a little assistance.  Thanks for helping give them that!!

And there you have it!!  An interview with an amazingly kind human who supports Kindness Activist and the Little Yellow Free Pantry!!

If you would like to get involved and help out, we would be so very grateful.  As of June 13, 2025, the most needed items are:

     ·      Canned meat of any kind

·      Canned vegetables of any kind

·      Single serving boxes or cups of cereal of any kind (we are out of these)

·      Salt and/or pepper

·      Shampoo and/or conditioner (full sized bottles please)

·      Single serving drinks of any kind – we go through a lot of these, and now that it is hot they will go even faster (we have enough milk and water, need any other kind)

·      Condiments of any kind (mustard, soy sauce, mayo, ketchup, hot sauce, etc. – full size please, not restaurant size packets)

 

If you live in the metro DC area and would like to shop and deliver items, please place them in the tan and green plastic bin on our front porch.  We will bring them inside and store them until they are placed in the pantry.  Please do not put them directly in the pantry.  This system allows us get food to more people and ensure variety for all.  If you need the address for drop-off message me or email:  kindnessactivist@gmail.com . 

If you would like to order online and have items shipped, any store is great!  If you need our shipping address please reach out.

If you would like to order from the Amazon wish list for the pantry, items will ship directly to us.  That list can be found here:  LYFP Wish List

Proud Kind Kids, Happy Mammas

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mammas out there!

Kindness Activist held a Mother’s Day gift making event and boy howdy, did we MAKE THE GIFTS!

Each child drew a self-portrait and had a photograph taken.  Then they decorated a frame that had two 5 x 7 openings.  We printed the photos and shrunk the drawings to size and voila – fancy Mother’s Day gifts!

Of course, it was not quite that simple…  There were glitter “incidents”.  There was quite a lot of PAINT glopped about (including the purple that must’ve been on the bottom of my shoe before I walked into and through the house…).  There were “gem emergencies” when shiny rhinestones fell off and had to be reglued.

But there was joy.  Oh, was there joy!  Those kids were so PROUD of their work.  Most were very detailed and thorough and did not rush one bit.  In fact, the hour-long slots we allotted were not long enough, so the craft assistants never got any breaks between sessions, because as soon as one group finished the next group appeared.

One sweet girl showed up today.  Her mamma has been overwhelmed with work (and life), and thought today was the crafting day.  NOT TO WORRY!  We busted out the materials and supplies again and let the artist (and another child who was over) create! 

Apparently, the magic worked, because mom’s have been sending sweet messages of gratitude. 

·       My heart is full today. Thank you so much for organizing the super thoughtful Mother’s Day crafting project. I’ve in love with my updated pics and pictures. Thanks to the fairy godmother of Penrose!

 

·       I love the frames and photos so much! Thank you again so much for making this amazing Mother’s Day gift possible. And thank you for being a mother to the whole Arlington community  

 

·       Thank you soooo much for this beautiful Mother’s Day gift! I think this is the best gift I have ever received!

 

·       Thank you so much for the sweet and lovely gifts you prepared with the kids!!! I love them!!

 

·       My child gave me her present and it is absolutely adorable. I LOVE it!!! And the wrapping paper was so pretty. You are so kind to offer these special crafts that mean so much to us moms.

Thanks for trusting your kids to us.  We had fun creating with them and seeing their confidence grow, one brush stroke and glitter blob at a time.

 

Volunteer hours put in for this project:  38.75

Number of kids who made gifts:  21 (plus one child who made 2, so a total of 22 gifts)

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $279.89 (most of the paint, glitter, brushes, etc. were in our craft supply already, KA funds were spent on frames, printing photos and self-portraits, and wrapping paper)

Cost per child: $13.99

 

P.S. – sorry about the glitter that will get on whatever table you place your frame on, moms.

P.P.S. – if you can post a photo of your child’s finished gift in the comments that would be great!

Here are some of the amazing self-portraits.

Camping Kindness

I got to sit down and chat today with a new little friend, Owen.  He is only 3, but he is FULL of energy, ideas, imagination, and KINDNESS.

He is a funny one, my new friend!  Made me laugh

Owen’s birthday party this year was CAMPING themed – complete with a bonfire, smores, a tent, and even a campfire pinata that his dad made!  But even though the official theme was camping, a “sub-theme” of kindness was woven in, too.

Cool campfire pinata

Because you see, instead of asking for GIFTS, Owen asked his guests to bring food donations for the Little Yellow Free Pantry!  Isn’t that amazing???  His mom and dad brought him by today so that we could talk a bit and learn about the sweet little boy and his birthday donations.

Owen’s mom, Janelle, works with United Way so knows alllll about non-profits and volunteerism.  A friend of the family had a birthday party and asked for food donations, so Owen’s parents were inspired to do the same for his event.  “At first we were going to collect for AFAC, but then I remembered your posts about the pantry and thought that would be even more local to help out,” she said. 

The birthday boy and his kind parents

And help out they did!  Owen’s guests brought bags of shelf-stable food, which they then donated to the LYFP.  And today when the family came over to talk about it, they got to meet a pantry guest who stopped by.  I love it when that happens – connecting donors to receivers – it really brings the system “full circle” and makes it real. 

Owen is a sweetheart.  He loves reading books, his favorite color (today) is blue (his dad says that changes quite often…).  He likes hopscotch (though he says he is not that good at it, and walks on the hopscotch board instead of hopping) and has a great imagination.  And this little dynamo is really kind.

Owen tried out our newest project, the "stress relief" station :) 

Happy belated birthday, Owen!  I am glad you got to go to Great Wolf Lodge and celebrate after your party.  And I am very, very thankful that you collected food for the Little Yellow Free Pantry.  Because of YOUR KINDNESS, other neighbors have fuller bellies.

Kind kids rock.

P.S. – items currently most needed for the Little Yellow Free Pantry are dried beans of any kind (we are out of lentils and almost out of other kinds as well), single serving heat and eat soups in cups, single serving drinks of any kind except milk which we have enough of (water, iced tea, juices, etc.), cans of fruit of any kind, deodorant, and sun screen.  Our Amazon wish list can be found at the link below (Costco wish list coming this month).  THANK YOU!

Little Yellow Free Pantry Wish List

A Little Sunshine, A Pop of Color, And a LOT of Pride

What happens when you invite a 6 year old, 12 year old, 9 year old, 7 year old, a couple of 10 year olds, and a 5 ½ year old to come together and paint a bunch of people’s fingernails??

I will tell you what happens.  POLISH-A-PALOOZA!

See how HAPPY the customers were??  

Today our yard was full of color.  And love.  And pride – so.  Much.  Pride.

I was so happy to see these young kids being so very PROUD of the work they were doing! 

So proud of his work - he just finished placing a beautiful shiny gem 

At least one participant was very nervous before today.  “But Miss Susan, what if I get polish on someone’s FINGER??” one potential painter asked when I invited her to help at the event.  She was worried she would mess up.  Worried she would not be “good enough”.  “Hey, that’s fine!” I told her.  “And do you know what?  Some of the nail techs are going to be 6 years old!!  Even younger than you!” I explained.  Her eyes got wide as she contemplated joining in…  Then she said YES.

And she was so glad that she did!  As was I.  I specifically asked her to do my nails, and they turned out terrific – looked just the way I wanted them to.

 

I got a great manicure from this nail tech

This nail polishing event was really meant to be more of a “fun raiser” than “fund raiser”.  I mean, asking people to pay for nails done by a kid could be a bit of a stretch…

 

The first customers of the day!

Beautiful manicure!

Pink nails with strawberry stickers - so cute!

But people came!!  Sure, lots of them were related to the nail techs 😊.  But hey, those relatives were so excited to have their child paint their nails!!  I think the MOST PROUD was this grandma.  Her grandson did her nails in his favorite color – orange.  She was beaming at the sight of them.

 

This was probably my favorite manicure of the day.  This grandma was soooo proud of
her grandson and his work.  It was beautiful to witness.

Another thing I loved about the event is that everyone participated.  Maybe it is a generational thing, but there didn’t seem to be any hesitation from kids to get their nails painted, regardless of their gender.  It was so great to witness that.  Made my heart happy.

 

Don't these nails look terrific?

And dads – oh dads got their nails done…  This dad got his pedicure from his 3 year old (who was not an “official nail tech” but nevertheless was proud of her work!).

 

Very young nail tech gently drying her dad's pedicure with a fan. 
Wouldn't want any of that polish to get messed up!

We also had hair gems – little shiny jewels that lightly stick in your hair.  The best was seeing a bald dad rocking a jewel right on the top of his hairless head.  Priceless.

 

We even had a DOG come get her nails done!  And the 2 kids who worked on that one did terrific.  The dog (and owner) were very happy with the result. 

Manicure in progress...  Or was it a pedicure...

 

Finished nails!  A thing of beauty.

One terrific young volunteer took over the task of snack duty and was great at it.  After a while he branched out to sign holding duty and managed to bring some new customers in.  (Full disclosure - at first that made me nervous…  You pulled over because you saw a sign about getting your nails painted, but did you understand it was an elementary school aged kid who was going to be wielding the brush???  Oh, they understood.  They understood alright, and jumped right in!)

Concentrating hard to get the nails juuuuust right

 One candidate for school board stopped by to get her nails done.  She was out doing meet and greets today, and was heading straight to an event with the Commonwealth Attorney for Arlington.  “You are going straight to the event with those nails?” I asked quietly.  She beamed.  “Of course!!  And if Parissa (the attorney) was not so busy today, I am sure she would be here getting her nails painted, too!” she replied.  Again – PRIDE.  She was going to rock those sunny yellow nails!

 

Those are some shiny, happy nails!!!  And that is BEFORE the stickers were added!

A bit of polish was spilled.

 

The new bubble machine didn’t work.

 

I forgot to take a photo of all of the nail techs together.

 

But do you know what? 

 

It was perfect.

 

It was exactly how it should be.

 

Just like David’s nails.  PERFECT.

 

 

Perfect manicure.

 

Kindness Activist funds raised:  $468

Afternoon spent in the sun watching young people be happy and proud of their work:  immeasurable

 

P.S. – There were lots of cries of, “Miss Susan, can we do this again???” as we were finishing up today.  So be ready – you may need to come get a very colorful manicure someday…

 

P.P.S. - $10 of the total above was given as a tip to Jay, a young boy who had proudly finished another set of nails.  The tipper explained that she would pay separately for her nails, but this $10 was a TIP just for him because he did such a good job.  Well, that little boy came right up to me and showed me the money.  “I just got this tip!” he said.  “I want to give it to kindness!”.  I tried to talk him out of it…  $10 is a LOT of money for a 7 year old, and it was given to him specifically.  “She said I could do whatever I wanted with it,” he told me.  “And I want to give it to KINDNESS.”

 

With kids like that in the lead, our future has to be bright.  It just has to be.

This nail tech's favorite color to paint nails is GOLD. 
Here he is carefully drying the gold nails he just finished.

Aren't our nails lovely??

Such concentration.

Team work - one paints while one dries.

That is one COLORFUL manicure

 

Hug from a nail tech

David picked out great colors