Locker Room Kindness

This story of kindness happened 11 days ago.  I have been wanting to write about it ever since, but it is a tough one to put out there, and I have not been able to bring myself to write about it.  It involves someone I love being on the RECEIVING END of an amazing kindness.  But before I can introduce you to the newest Kindness Activist, I have to tell you something I have not wanted to admit:  my big sister has breast cancer.

Sherry during less stressful times, checking out cherry blossoms when she was visiting us in DC

There are 3 sisters in our family – Sherry, Annette, and me (Susan).  Sherry is definitely the glue that holds the Thompson family together.  She is smart, loving, extremely organized, giving, and KIND.  In fact, she was one of the first Kindness Activists featured in this blog, because she is practically the definition of Kindness Activist.  In fact, if the dictionary ever decided to make “Kindness Activist” an official word, I would not be surprised if Sherry’s picture was what they used to illustrate the word.  To read the story of Sherry’s kindness (one of mannnnny she does) go here:  Sherry's Holiday Kindness

Here are the 3 sisters with our mom - Annette, Mom, me, Sherry (back in 2002)

So let’s put it out there – Sherry has breast cancer. 

She doesn’t have all the details yet.  She has had a biopsy, met with the surgeon, had an MRI today, and has a meeting with a plastic surgeon coming up.  Right now it is “wait for MRI results” time, then comes the treatment.  She doesn’t have a stage yet, doesn’t know for sure what next steps are, and isn’t sure what these next few months will involve.  It is obviously a very scary time for her.

Now let me introduce you to a GOOD part of this story.  Her real name is Heather, but we like to call her ANGEL. 

Sherry had her biopsy and was waiting for results.  They didn’t come as quickly as she had hoped (do they ever???) and when the call from the doctor finally came in, she was at the gym doing her early morning workout.  When the doctor asked if she had someone with her and if she was sitting down, that was a pretty good indicator that the news coming up was not going to be good…

She grabbed a pen and paper and scribbled down what the doctor was saying.  And when she hung up, she crumbled into a puddle on the locker room floor, crying.

Enter ANGEL.

Angel saw Sherry, a complete stranger, crying and came over to her.  She held her, comforted her, and talked to her.  ANGEL WAS THERE FOR HER.  Here is how Sherry described it:  “I have to tell you this story because it shows me that when I am without strength, God provides others to hold me up. I got the call from my doctor yesterday when I was at the gym. I quickly grabbed my phone, jumped off the treadmill, and went into the locker room.  I knew it wasn't good news when he asked if I had someone with me (no, I did not) and if I could sit down (I was too stunned to sit, but stood there).  He proceeded to tell me the biopsy showed I had breast cancer and he gave me a bunch of into to write down.  I somehow opened my combination lock, found a scrap of paper, and wrote the names and numbers he repeated for me.  When I hung up, I burst into tears and fell to my knees.  It was at this moment that a woman walked into the locker room.  She quickly walked over to me, asked if I was okay...  pretty obvious I wasn't, and threw her arms around me.  She held me as I sobbed there on the locker room floor.  She cried with me as I told her the news I had just received.  She stayed with me and softly reassured me that I could do this.  I had never met this woman, I don't know her name, but she was a gift from God to me yesterday.  I think I will call her Angel."  

Angel was there at just the right moment.  And she didn’t turn away, avert her eyes in embarrassment and leave my sister there alone.  She walked over, hugged her, and let her cry.  She even cried along!  And until I communicated with Angel, I hadn’t thought of what the whole situation must have looked like from her point of view.  She said, “I turned the corner to the locker room and saw her struggling to stand and she was sobbing.  I was just drawn to her, as she was clearly in distress.  I went to see how I could help, as anyone should when they witness another person in need. I was panicked at first, because I wasn’t sure what was going on.  After wrapping my arms around her and hearing her voice say to me, “I have cancer, my doctor just told me I have cancer,” I was overcome with emotion and cried with her.”

You know, I had an experience a few years ago in an airport where a stranger helped me when I was crying.  I was on a business trip and I got a call while on a layover saying that my dad had prostate cancer.  I walked up and down the halls of the airport in a daze, crying.  And one person, one business man, didn’t ignore me.  He was not put off by my tears, but instead gently approached me to ask what was wrong.  I cried harder and told him through tears that my dad had just been diagnosed with prostate cancer.  And I remember that stranger’s kindness, his sweet voice and his gentle words, reassuring me that it would be ok, that my dad could beat this, that this type of cancer wasn’t a horrible diagnosis.  He was right, my dad is still living.  And I have often thought of that kind man and wished I could thank him.

So I told Sherry, we MUST FIND ANGEL!  She is a true Kindness Activist, and needs a Kindness button to wear!!  I wrote a little note for Sherry to print and put up in the locker room, and she edited it to make it just perfect.  She printed it and hung it, and our “fishing expedition” started.  We were fishing for ANGEL!

This is the note Sherry hung in the locker room...  Let the fishing begin...

And it didn’t take long – Sherry found her!  First Sherry texted to say, “The note is missing!!”, but we were not sure if Angel had found it, or if the manager took it down.  But Angel found it!!!!  And she saw Sherry (at the gym) and came over to her!  Sherry later said something like, “I can’t believe I didn’t realize how TALL she was!” J. 

Angel (aka Heather) and her sweetheart.  Doesn't she just LOOK like an Angel???

When I told Angel how special her actions were, she humbly replied, “I feel so blessed to be called “Angel” but I am really no angel at all.  I just saw a person in need of support and was happy to be there.  It’s just the right thing to do.  J  I would hope anyone in my shoes would have done the same for her.”  I can tell you this much:  not everyone would.  It takes a kind person to be willing to comfort someone.

So Sherry has been able to thank Angel in person for being there at just the right moment and being so, so kind.  I would like to thank her, too.  I live quite a long plane ride away from the rest of my family, so being there at “just the right time” is difficult when it is not something planned in advance.  I feel bad that I wasn’t there to help Sherry through these difficult first steps on this journey, but I am very grateful that Angel was.  Angel told Sherry that she had thought a lot about her since they met in the locker room, had prayed for her and even cried for her.  And she told me that she has now been praying about ways that doctors can deliver this type of very difficult news in a more sensitive way.  She said, “I hope to help our hospitals adopt new best practices on ways of communicating unfavorable news to patients”.  Yes, the woman who was such an angel to my sister works in HEALTHCARE.  It is lovely. 

And Heather, I hope you don’t mind if we don’t use your given name.  To our family, you are Angel.  And you told me that you hope that Sherry felt some warmth and comfort from you – TRUST ME, she did.  

The 3 Thompson girls when we were a bit younger :)

If you are the praying type, prayers for Sherry are appreciated.  If you are the wishing on stars type, can your wish tonight be for her?  And if you are the “sending good vibes” type, send them her way please.  And if you are the commenting type, she is an avid reader of this blog and will read your messages.  However you can support her, she (and her sisters) appreciate it. 

This type of thing normally happens when the 3 of us get together, so if Sherry has to have chemo,
that hospital is gonna be a mess...

Thank you, Angel.  And LOVE YOU Sherry.

I can't resist one final photo - us with our mom again.  I am not sure why Sherry didn't have to wear a matching itchy plaid dress, but at least we all had the same gogo boots.

Holiday Kindness

My sister Sherry is probably the MOST KIND person I know.  She exudes kindness.  She is constantly embarking on conscious acts of kindness and just spreads so much JOY in the world.  If there was a KINDNESS TROPHY, she would certainly receive it.  I asked her to share about a recent act of kindness she did.  The details below are in her words (with some of mine added in italics J ). 

Here is a fun photo of Sherry in Los Angles - we went to see a taping of "The Price is Right" last year
(can you tell we were excited??)

Sherry: “Each December my husband and I look for someone that we can assist.  We are not wealthy, but we have enough that we do not struggle.  We feel like we need to be a force for good in the world.  There are so many negative things going on in the world today....if we can spread kindness, maybe it will help to change the world a teeny tiny bit. In years past we have paid strangers' rent for the month, paid utilities for people, bought groceries, or provided Christmas gifts.  This year I just felt that I wanted to give some children a great Christmas.  (Note:  Sherry has 2 kids, and a brand new grandbaby, so she also gave all of THEM a great Christmas!)

This year I "adopted" a low income family for Christmas.  I asked our elementary school counselor if there was a family at our school that would not have a Christmas celebration without some help. She knew immediately that there was such a family and after speaking with the mom to make sure she would like the help, the counselor gave me the names, ages, needs, and clothing sizes of a family with five children.    

We bought each of the children a Christmas stocking, had their names embroidered on them, and filled them with special things that I knew they would like.  We also bought each child a clothing outfit and a couple of toys.  We bought the mom a gift, too. My husband and I bought most of the gifts, but our two sons and their partners each gave a toy for two of the children.  The school I work at provided a gift card to a grocery store for a Christmas dinner. 

Look at all of these GIFTS!!  The stockings with each person's NAME on them!!
She went well above and beyond to make this family's Christmas truly extraordinary!

I delivered the gifts, which I had wrapped so they looked very pretty.  The Mom was at work when I delivered the gifts and the children were at home with the teenage sister.  They were sooooo excited when I came - they had grins a mile wide.  They all thanked me several times.  The oldest three children told me, "God bless you!" several times as I was leaving. I know they were happy, which made me happy.  It is a great feeling to help someone in need.  It puts us in the Christmas spirit.

I believe that when we spread kindness it will continue to be spread by those who receive it.  I am hopeful that when these children are adults they will remember the year they were given Christmas gifts and they will be moved to do the same for another child.”

I asked Sherry, “Will you do this act again?  Why or why not?” and she said, “Yes, I will do it again! I feel it's important to share what I have.  If I do not have the finances one year, I will donate my time.

I firmly believe that KINDNESS MATTERS.  In fact, that is my motto.  I feel better about myself when I show kindness.  What kind of a world would this be if no one showed kindness??  I work with children, I am the example they see.  If they learn one thing from me, I hope it is to be kind to one another.”

I am proud of my sisters!!!  Here we are looking our prettiest - Sherry, me, and Annette.  :)

Sisters in Washington DC!  Me, Sherry, and Annette.

Thanks for letting me share this amazing story of your kindness, Sherry.  You make the world a better place just by being in it.  Expect a “Kindness Activist” button to be coming – you deserve a crate full of them. 

If you have received, witnessed, or shared kindness, please let me know.  I believe that by sharing our examples of kindness with the world, others see them and are inspired to BE KIND themselves!  Let me know of kindness at:  kindnessactivist@gmail.com .  And “like” this project on Facebook – Kindness Activist.  Let’s inspire one another, and the world, TO BE KIND!!