Forward... That's a Good Way to Go. Forward

I don’t share their names.  Never share their names. 

I typically don’t share a gender.  Because really, why does gender matter anyway? And also, out of respect.  Nothing that might make you, the reader, identify the person in the story.

But today – today I feel I must share the gender.

Because she is real.  She is sick.  And she is our neighbor.

My neighbor and yours – no matter where you live.

She is our neighbor .

I went outside to hang a coat up in Project Warmth, the winter program where we put out cold weather gear for passersby in need to take.  I heard the siren of an ambulance or fire truck, wasn’t sure which.  I didn’t pay much attention – emergency vehicles pass our busy home often.  It wasn’t until I walked around the corner and saw a man walking his dog that I took notice.  “I called them,” he said. 

I turned around and realized that the ambulance had stopped right across the street.  And I saw a fabric puddle of orange, black on brown on the sidewalk, with 2 EMTs standing over it.

“When I walked by the first time, she was sitting up, eating something,” the man with the dog told me.  “But now, now lying down…  I am not sure…”.

Fear shot through me.  Was she dead?  Just lying there on the sidewalk, right across from our house, dead? 

We both kept our distance out of respect and concern.  “I bet she got the food here at the pantry,” I told him.  “I don’t know, she had marshmallows or something…” he said.

Yes.  Marshmallows.  I had put a bag of mini marshmallows in the pantry last night right before bed.  It was a special treat, and I imagined whoever found it would be happy.

The pile of fabric moved.  The person sat up. 

She was alive.

“I need to go see if it is someone I know,” I told the man.  As I crossed, I heard an EMT tell her, “You can’t lay here.  People will worry.  They will think it is a medical emergency and keep calling 911.”

She was standing, coat hood on her head, dirty sleeping bag wrapped around.  But she was standing.

“Hey, would you like a cup of coffee?” I asked as I got close enough.

“No, no.  But hey, do you have any hot chocolate??  I have been wanting hot chocolate…”.

Of course!  The marshmallows.  She had been sitting eating the marshmallows, maybe dreaming of hot chocolate to go with them.

I ran home and quickly made a hot chocolate.  I squirted some whipped cream on it and rushed back outside hoping she was still there to get it.  She was there, but the ambulance had left.  Left her alone.  Alone, as I am sure she usually is.

I put the steaming cup of cocoa on a fence post, using it as a table.  “Here, it’s really hot, so be careful.  Would you like some soup?  I could bring you some.”

At first she said yes, but when I asked if she ate meat or not, she changed her mind.  “You know, I really don’t eat much.  Maybe just some crackers…”.

“I have crackers.  Anything else you need?  What size shoes do you wear?” I asked, looking down at her slippers with non-slip hospital socks wedged in them to try and make them fit.  She told me she was a size 6 to 6.5, and also asked for a black hoodie, black sweatpants, and black socks.  “I am not sure what I have, but I will bring some things,” I told her and came back home to look through the Project Warmth donations.

I collected 3 hoodies (none all black, but all warm), some leggings (not sweatpants, but black), some black long underwear pants, very warm winter socks, and the only adult boots I had – size 10.  I also made a basket of food choices – 2 kinds of crackers, granola bar, precooked pasta and precooked meatballs, homemade banana muffin (thank you kind neighbor for making those), fruit cup, applesauce cup, Go Go Squeezes, Goldfish crackers, raisins, protein shake, Gatorade, juice…  I tried to put in choices that someone who “doesn’t eat much” might be tempted by, knowing that she must eat.  I grabbed a new bag that zips and went back to the corner.

She was still standing.  Pacing.  She was obviously using, and whatever she was on made her have both energy (to pace) and mellowness (to lie down).  She had a scratch on her nose and chapped lips, but other than that no obvious injuries.

I laid the clothing choices out on the fence for her to see.  She picked 2 hoodies and the thermal pants.  She took the socks and the hat.  I held up the boots and explained they were too big, but they were all I had.  As we talked, a woman in an SUV pulled up to the red light and rolled down her window.  “What size shoes does she need??” she asked, having quickly accessed the situation.  “A size 7.  But all I have is a 10…”.  She sighed.  “I have a 9…”.  I thanked her and she drove off.

What a reminder that we all want to help.  All of us.  Every last one. 

We went through the food and drink choices and she took a few.  I packed them into the new bag with the clothes and zipped it all up. 

“Are you working with Path Forward?” I asked.  Path Forward is the local organization that works tirelessly to assist people on the streets.  They provide food, housing, and work to get people re-homed.

“Ahhh, forward…  That’s a good way to go…  Forward….” she said.

We all want to help. 

But sometimes there is NOTHING, absolutely nothing we can do.

And that is a hard fact to accept.

No amount of marshmallows or crackers or sweatpants or boots can make this situation better.  She is sick.  Has an addiction.  She is ill.

“Hey, what’s your name?” I asked before I left.  She told me.  I told her mine.  And I repeated hers out loud.

I repeated it as much to help me try and remember it and I did for her to HEAR IT being spoken.

She is still there.  It’s been an hour, and she is still there.  I can see her from our porch.  She is sitting – I am sure on the same soggy cardboard I saw up close. 

Only now, she has a new warm hoodie pulled up on her head.

And in her belly, hot chocolate and whipped cream.

Maybe some crackers.

Maybe some applesauce…

We all need the same things, every one of us.

We need food. 

Love.

Someone to care.

Community.

Warmth.

Safety.

And for someone to know our name.

For information on substance abuse resources available in Arlington, VA, call 571-302-0327

P.S. – Thank you to the stranger who stopped and asked for the shoe size.  I am quite certain that if I had said, “She needs a 9,” you would have pulled over and taken the shoes off your own feet to give.  Thank you to the man walking the dog who worried and cared enough to call the authorities to come check on the woman.  Thank you to those who donated food for the pantry - making it easy for me to run inside and prepare a cup of cocoa and get food options for her to choose from.  Thank you to people who dropped off winter clothing - giving her the dignity to make choices of what she would like.  And thank you to the friend who also saw the situation and took time to ring our doorbell to see if I knew there was a person in need so close by.  Thank you for listening to me and hugging me as I cried telling the story.  And thanks for encouraging me to write it. 

The Power of Kind Children

Mackenzie, aka June Bug, held her 2^nd (she decided today should be annual) Hot Cocoa Stand today.  June Bug is 6 now – lost her front teeth and the adult ones have peeked through.  She is a bundle of positivity, energy, kindness, and love.

The event was 2 hours.  Guests were greeted by several young volunteers and told to start at the MUG TABLE.  There, they could choose whichever of the donated mugs they would like.  Next up, the cocoa table, where young helpers would fill the cups with hot, tasty chocolate.  Then over to the topping table where the amazing Lori presented people with very fancy and unique toppings to complete their cocoa.  Most guests also made their way to the snack table, which featured all kinds of delights, including some homemade hot cocoa cookies and Rice Krispie treats from Lisa and her amazing daughter Marin.  And Mac (of the infamous Mac’s Donuts) brought loads of fresh donuts.

Choose your mug

Snacks, snacks, and more snacks

Did someone say - toppings?

The sun was shining.  The rain that had threatened only dropped about a dozen drops as we were setting up.  And the wind – well that was steady enough that the planned fire in the fire pit had to be scrapped (but not before some enterprising youngsters got their marshmallows toasted and made smores).

It was so busy!!  People started coming at exactly 2 pm and kept flowing through until after our planned closing.  So many were there to support not only Kindness Activist, but JUNE BUG.  Her neighbors.  Her friends.  Her TEACHER (which she was very excited about). 

Kids ran around.  They played on the teeter totter/see saw.  They held up signs that other children had made to coax passing cars to honk and/or pull over for cocoa.  There was laughter.  There were smiles.  And there was kindness.  So.  Much.  Kindness.

During gatherings like this I often feel guilty, because with all of the setting up and managing and chatting, the pantry gets ignored.  It is simply impossible to do it all.  But a pantry crew member who attended, Teresa, kindly came up to me and asked if she could fill the pantry after she finished her cocoa.  Even while celebrating the beautiful day, she remembered pantry guests.

Kind drivers saw kids holding signs, including one that said HONK FOR COCOA.  And they responded.  They smiled and waved.  They honked.  Some parked and joined in.  And a few even rolled down their windows and gave cash donations, no cocoa involved.

I didn’t witness this kind act, but two people who did told me the story as we were finishing up and I got goosebumps.  They said that a guest came and donated $50.  But it was not for her cocoa.  No, she paid for that separately.  This was a $50 bill she had found on the sidewalk.  She explained that she had picked it up and hollered to the person she assumed had dropped it, but they assured her it was not theirs.  So, she decided that she would use that found money to do something kind.  And she did – by donating it to Kindness Activist today.

And people HELPED.  Kids made great signs.  Neighbors donated 113 mugs for us to use. Lisa and Marin worked very hard to clean chairs and then in the basement kitchen to keep the cocoa flowing.  Kasey and June Bug helped set everything up.  Kids helped serve cocoa and take donations.  Kids stood proudly with signs to greet passersby (including little John, who held a sign he had made that was illegible.  He was SO PROUD to hold it up to cars and holler, “Cocoa for sale!!!”).  People stayed to help clean it all up.  So.  Much.  Help.

Look at John's sign!  He made it himself

One man came up and told me he pulled over and came to join in because he saw these two sweeties

Mid-event, I stood on a chair and announced that it was going to be one young helper, Oliver, birthday tomorrow.  And with no hesitation that whole crowd lifted their voices and sang Happy Birthday to him as he stood and smiled, taking it all in.  Then another little boy came up and told me quietly that it was his birthday in one month…  So, I got back up on the chair and asked if we should sing to Nate, too, and the answer was YES.  Cue another round of the song.

I recognized one young guest, but was not sure who he was.  You know the feeling – you know that you know the person, but how??  I found out soon enough when he came over and started talking about that time he gave me one of his gifts from Santa Claus – a Chuppa Chuppa Melody Pop.

Ahhhhh – it was Gianni!  I wrote a story about him when I met him that day back in December.  He came to pick up his gift from Santa and sat right down on our front steps to open it.  He was so happy!  Read his letter from Santa straight away.  Shared the whole experience with me, and I loved it.

He was so happy to be here today.  We talked about his Christmas gifts – I asked if he had made the bubblegum in the science kit Santa gave him.  Yes he did –the flavors were watermelon and orange, and it worked great!  He also used the invisible ink pen he got from the North Pole.  And he used it to WRITE A THANK YOU NOTE to Santa!  Isn’t that the sweetest?  Gianni and I held signs by the road and had a great time.  Once, as I was walking around chatting with people, he came up to me and said very quietly, “I am going to talk to YOU the rest of the time that I am here”.  Heart.  Melt. 

And the kindness didn’t stop when the event was over. 

We offered the leftover cocoa and donuts in our local Buy Nothing group.  As we sat outside and waited for people to come, a pantry guest who I suspect does not have housing that I had seen walk by earlier in the day came by again.  I offered them cocoa, just as I had earlier.  But this time they accepted, and explained that they had been in a rush to get to the library before it closed the first time they came by.  After we talked a bit, I went downstairs and brought up food for them from the pantry stock that I know they like.  And because of recent donations, we had great things to give them.

The woman who got the leftover donuts from Buy Nothing, Jessica, came to pick them up.  She was excited because she had always wanted to try Mac’s donuts but never had.  After she left, I found out that she passed the pantry on the way back to her car and saw a mom and daughter there getting food.  Jessica did the kindest thing – she stopped and shared those donuts with the girl. 

It just felt like kindness begat kindness begat kindness all day today.  It was amazing.  My feet are tired, but my heart is full.  Very full.

June Bug and I will meet to brainstorm ways to use the money she raised today.  One thing is certain – she wants to buy some fancy stuffed animals (I think they are called Pets Alive) for kids at Children’s National Hospital.  I am sure we will find other creative and fun ways to spread kindness.

I will share the total collected here, but today was about so much more than fundraising.  It was about community.  And diversity.  And togetherness.  And support.  And KINDNESS.

Today was about love.

Total raised:  $1063.79

Isn’t that amazing?

Thank you to everyone who helped out.  To everyone who drank cocoa.  To everyone who donated.

And thanks to JUNE BUG.  Who inspires us all to be more inquisitive and thoughtful people.

All Are Welcome

I was thinking about what to name this story…  Several possibilities popped into my head:

“Two Worlds Colliding”

“Coming In, Going Out”

And others in that same vein.  The concept being – opposite things happening simultaneously.

But the more I considered it, I realized that my framework for the story was entirely off.  It was not opposites.  Nothing “collided”.  Instead, it is a story of coexistence.  Of humanity, and how we are all alike and all are welcome.

So that is what it shall be called.  “All Are Welcome”.

Now the story.

Yesterday Kindness Activist hosted a very fun event – June Bug’s Hot Cocoa Stand.  It was a fund raiser and the brainchild of a lovely neighbor and friend, five-year-old June Bug.  Wait, she is precisely 5 ½, because, as she told me with a gleam in her eyes when she arrived to prepare for the big event, “Kindness Susan!  Today is my half birthday!!”.

June Bug conceived of this grand idea while volunteering one afternoon with her mamma.  As they worked to seal packets of rice, little June Bug hatched her plan.  A HOT COCOA STAND.

It all happened yesterday and it was so fun.  Many, many people came – including lots of June Bug’s family, friends, and classmates.  The sun shone.  The cocoa flowed.  The toppings and cookies were plentiful.  The fire pit crackled and s’mores and marshmallows were enjoyed.

We started at 2:00 pm, and about an hour into the festivities I saw a man waiting at the corner for the light to change to cross the street.  I recognized him as a pantry guest.  I rushed to talked to him before he crossed and let him know that today was a special day and we were serving hot chocolate.  “Would you like some?” I asked.  Well, the smile was enough of an answer, followed by, “Hot chocolate?  Well yeah!!!”.  I brought him over to the stand and grabbed him a cup.  I gave the server, June Bug’s grandma, a little look that I think she understood – this one is on the house.  I took him to the topping bar, got him some cookies, and left him to enjoy his treats.

When I saw him next his cup was empty and the cookies were gone.  He politely asked, “May I have another cup?”.  Well sure!  Seconds on hot chocolate, seconds on cookies. 

He stayed for quite a long time.  I think he chatted with a few people.  At one point I saw him sitting on the sidewalk, taking in the sunshine, his legs stretched out in front of him.  And I remembered – this was the Pantry guest that happened to walk by a year ago during the 2^nd birthday party we hosted for the Little Yellow Free Pantry.  We invited him to join in the fun that day, too, and he happily came under the canopy we had set up to try and keep us dry from the rain.  He ate snacks, drank drinks, and chatted that day, too.

The “completed-ness” of the situation made my heart happy.  Here were guests coming to support June Bug and Kindness Activist, pitching in far more than a cup of cocoa was actually worth.  Donating for the CAUSE – spreading kindness.

And here was a man who is a recipient of that very kindness when he stops by the pantry a few times a week.  He likely spends much of his time alone.  I have never seen him with anyone, and I doubt he gets invited to places or parties. 

And there we were.  All together.  All enjoying the weather and the conversation and the cocoa.

Because when you think about it, we are all the same.

And ALL ARE WELCOME.

 

P.S. – As I was sitting down to write tonight, our doorbell rang.  That is not uncommon around here, but it was getting a bit late.  I answered the door and found a man on the porch, another pantry guest.  He is very sweet – I often heat up meals for him.  I assumed that is what he was stopping by for tonight, though I don’t think he has ever rang the bell before.  I noticed right away that he was sporting a warm stocking cap he had picked up from Project Warmth.  We don’t share a common language, so the conversations between us are rudimentary.  I pointed to his warm hat, smiled, and said, “Nice!  Good!”.  He smiled back and pointed to Project Warmth, showing me where he had gotten it.  “Today – no,” he said, touching his head, explaining that before he picked that hat up, he didn’t have one.  Then he turned my attention to something sitting at the foot of our sidewalk.  “TV??” he asked.  “Oh, no,” I tried to explain, “Not mine.  No.”  He smiled and said, “No!  Me!  Find.  TV?”.  I could tell it was a computer monitor, but thought I should come out and check it anyway.  We walked down the steps and I examined it.  “No,” I said, using the snapping fingers “rats” gesture, “Computer.”

He smiled.  He had hoped that the treasure he must’ve found on the side of the road was a television.  He had no need for a monitor.  “You want?” he asked politely.  So kind – sharing his finds.  “No thank you.  Have,” I explained. 

I offered dinner, he said today he had eaten.  We said good night.  He got back on his old bike, picked up the monitor, and road off into the darkness.

He had just stopped by for a little tech support.  Because he knows, all are welcome.