Postponing the To Do List

It was a sunny, warm autumn day.

A day that started slowly – catching up on emails, playing “my games” (Connections, Wordle, Strands, and Wridges – gosh when I write that out I see I play a LOT of games).  Moseying around the house.

But when it came time to get busy, I was ready to GET BUSY.

I even wrote a to do list (and managed not sit it down somewhere and lose it!).  On the list:  Walgreens, bank, post office.  Three tasks that can be completed on foot – perfect for a nice day.  List in hand, bag on shoulder, off I went.

Walgreens was the first stop – fail.  The product I wanted was triple what I knew it would cost other places.  No thanks.

Bank – slow as molasses, but got what I need to do done.

Next up was the post office.  Only, instead of walking the short way, I backtracked a block to walk the long way.  I did this because I knew that walking that direction, I might well pass a person experiencing homelessness who I am intrigued with.  They write notes and tape them onto buildings and I have only been lucky enough to meet them once – usually I just stop and read the myriad of cryptic notes.  Anyway, I knew if I went the long way I might see them.  It was lunch time and I planned to ask if I could buy them lunch.

But before I could get very far, I spotted something.

A cell phone in a pink case sitting on a bus stop bench.

Oh my…  I felt weird picking it up.  I didn’t want anyone to think I was stealing it.  But I looked around and the only person nearby was a man who was already talking on a phone, so obviously the one on the bench couldn’t be his.

I picked it up and opened the case.  There were 2 old photos inside.  The phone was locked with a PIN, so I couldn’t just open it up and see the contacts list to find “brother” or “boss” or “friend” to call. 

 

But then I saw the paper…  A little recipe/notecard was tucked inside the case.  It was filled with handwriting – name, then number.  Name, then number.  I recognized it as the system many older ladies use (we have a friend who does the same exact thing). 

Hmmm, this recipe card held the clues I needed!  I stood at the bus stop a while, hoping that the owner would come rushing back to get their phone.  When they didn’t, I got to work.

First – examine the card.  Is the first name the person she (by this time I felt the owner was a she) was closest to??  I didn’t know how to pronounce that name though.  I was not sure what nationality the name derived from, but I was hoping that whoever I called would speak English so I could explain the situation easily.  I scrolled down to a female name and dialed…

No answer.  Of course no answer – the incoming call was from a strange number!  They thought I was spam or a telemarketer.

So, I left a voice mail.

Called another number on the card, no answer.

Left a voice mail

Called another number, no answer.

Left a voice mail.

And in between my calls, the mysterious cell phone kept getting TEXTS.  Text after text after text.  A new text popped in every 90 seconds or so!  Texts about car insurance.  Texts about a home owners insurance policy.  Sales texts.  Random texts.  This poor woman gets a lot of texts!!

I could see the texts pop in but couldn’t click on them to read them.  But I did notice that they were all addressed to the same person:  Faina.  “Dear Faina” this and “Dear Faina” that. 

I left basically the same voicemail each time.  “Hi, my name is Susan.  I found a cell phone at a bus stop in Arlington, Virginia.  It has a paper inside with a list of names and numbers, and you are on it.   I think the phone belongs to someone named Faina.  Do you know her?  I have the phone.  I don’t want to leave it at the bus stop because I am afraid someone will take it.  Please return my call.  Thanks.”

In between leaving voicemails, I came up with a new tactic:  FACEBOOK.  I posted the photo above in 2 local Facebook groups and asked if anyone knew a woman named Faina and that I had found her cell phone.

This sweet comment came in on one of the posts: “If it's the same lady I am thinking about, she walks up and down the Pike a lot. She comes to our restaurant (The Celtic House) a few times a week. You can leave it with us if you like and we can pass it on to her, I see her almost every day.”

Ah-ha!  Celtic House!  That is near the bus stop!!  I felt like a Private Investigator piecing this story together bit by bit.  Faina.  Woman.  Senior Citizen.  Popular with scam texters.  Takes the bus.  Likely lives near Celtic House…

More phone calls to numbers on the card.

More voicemails.

As I was deciding which name to call next, my phone rang!  A call back!

Only, the man said he did now know anyone named Faina.  Boo!  (Why did Faina have him on her list??)

I left 11 voicemails. Yup – Faina had a LOT of names and numbers on her little card, she wrote on both sides.

Finally, another call back!  And this woman KNEW Faina!  And was very, very thankful I had found the phone and kept it safe.  She gave me Faina’s address.  I was right!  She lived only a few blocks from where she got off the bus.

I took a minute to tell the woman that Faina was getting texts.  A LOT of texts.  And it seemed like they were trying to scam her.  I wanted to make sure someone knew and could help the woman so she didn’t get tricked into sending money somewhere.

I told the woman on the phone that I would walk home and get in my car, then drive to drop off the phone at Faina’s apartment.  On my walk home, Faina’s granddaughter called on FAINA’S phone and I answered it (didn’t need a PIN to answer).  I explained the situation and she, too, was very relieved.  She explained that her grandma has some memory issues, and I warned her about the texts, too.

When I got home, I found some tiny cupcakes that a kind donor had left for the Little Yellow Free Pantry.  Faina needed some cupcakes!  Poor woman was probably having a bad day, what with having lost her phone and all.

I drove down Columbia Pike toward her house, and that’s when I saw her:  FAINA!

She was walking ON THE PIKE because the sidewalk was torn up with construction.  I do not know HOW I knew it was her, I just DID!  I felt it!!!  I wished I could pull over and holler her name, but because of the construction I couldn’t, so I parked at her apartment and went in.

I explained the situation to the ladies at the front desk.  “Oh, FAINA??” they said, “She JUST left!”.

I KNEW IT, y’all!  I just knew that had been her!!  I confirmed what she looked like, left my car parked in the apartment lot, and headed off on foot to find Faina!  I was on a mission!  Me, the pack of tiny cupcakes, and Faina’s phone, hot on her trail!!!

But I didn’t see her.  So, I rushed back, jumped in the car, and drove down Columbia Pike looking for her.  I thought maybe she was at the bus stop checking to see if her phone was there.  Nope.  Couldn’t find her.

But…  I had the clue about a restaurant she frequents…  I pulled into the Celtic House parking and went in.  I asked if they knew her and if she was there.  They did know her, but she wasn’t there at the moment.  DRAT.

Defeated, I returned to the apartment, still hoping maybe Faina had gone home while I had been out hunting.  But the front desk ladies said no, she was not back.   I wrote a little note for her (including my name and number) and left the phone and cupcakes with the staff.  They said she often stops to talk with them and they are friends with her, which made me happy.

That was all around 2:00 PM. 

Then at 7:19 PM, my phone rang…

You guessed it, FAINA!

Just as I had been afraid to mispronounce the name on her handwritten note, she mispronounced mine.

“Slisa??” she said.

“This is Susan,” I replied.  “Is this Faina??”.

YESSSSS IT WAS!  She called to thank me for finding and returning her phone.  She was so sweet!  She wants me to come visit.  “I am not working, I have time,” she said.

I have time, too, Faina.

The laundry may not get done.

The sheets might not get changed.

Several items may not get checked off of the eternal to-do list.

But I have time.

Time to connect.

Time to make a new friend.

Time to be kind.

Because if I do not take time – no, if I do not MAKE time for moments such as this – how meaningful will my life be?

I am grateful to have a perspective of kindness.

Of caring.

Of slowing down when the opportunity presents itself.

I will make time to go meet Faina.  I will talk to her, maybe bring her more treats.

Because that is what life is.  A series of moments.  Of strangers.  Of tiny cupcakes. 

And of connections.

Kindness Yard Sale 2020 - GRAND TOTAL!!

My body is bruised, exhausted, and sore.

But my HEART, my heart is happy.

The Kindness Yard Sale 2020 is in the books!  We started at 8:30 am Saturday and Sunday, and we didn’t have a slow time the entire weekend!  You know how with most yard sales you expect to be busy the first 3 or 4 hours, then have long lulls between customers?  That is what we EXPECTED, but oh that is not what we got!  People just kept coming and coming and coming!  We had a large supply of re-usable fabric bags that we planned to put purchases in for the whole sale.  Those puppies didn’t even make it through the first day before we had to switch to plastic and paper bags.  It was amazing!!

If you know me (and you probably do because you are reading this) you know that I often have my camera in hand and I take photos (literally) every day.  So, it might help you understand how BUSY the sale was when I tell you that I didn’t take a SINGLE PHOTO of it!!  It wasn’t until we were starting to pack up that I even thought of photos!!!  So here it is – the terrific signs David made.

Speaking of the signs, that and posting in 4 Facebook groups was the only advertising I did.  As much as I planned ahead on the sale aspect, I sorely lacked in the advertising.  I can only imagine how much busier it would have been if we had found time (and remembered…) to hang up the signs we printed!  😊

I have so many fun and poignant memories of the sale.  Let me tell you about a few of them.

-          A little boy (age 2 I think) was with his parents.  His dad came to the sale on Saturday and was interested in a small child sized table, but wanted to come back with his wife.  So Sunday the 3 of them came to look.  After checking out he table, the parents shopped while the little boy played with trucks (his dad told me he loved anything with wheels…).  I decided to see if he would join me for a TEA PARTY.  I brough the tea set of Disney princesses down to the kid table, took a seat, and set up the cups, saucers, plastic silverware, and tea pot.  Then I invited him over.  He sat opposite me and I showed him that I had made some (pretend) tea.  I poured us each a cup and pretended (through my mask) to drink mine.  He wasn’t sure at first, but soon enough realized that tea parties are marvelous fun.  We drank “tea”, he stirred “sugar”, and a good time was had.  When it was time to leave, his parents were leading him out with their purchase of the 2 small chairs and kid table.  But he was having NONE OF IT.  He cried and cried.  And he had been so cheerful and attentive the whole time, but now he was S A D.  Turns out, the mom had packed up the tea set in the baggie and BOUGHT IT.  But my little friend thought packing it up meant leaving it at the sale.  Poor fella.  I hope he had a good tea party when he got home.

-          A woman was shopping for clothing and asked me if there was a place to try it on.  There was not, so she asked if she could maybe take a few things to her house to try on.  I asked where she lived and she gestured 2 houses down.  As we talked I learned that she is an au pair for a neighbor.  She moved to America from Mexico the DAY BEFORE the quarantine started!  She brough very little with her, thinking she would buy used clothing when she got here.  But everything has been closed.  So I asked her sizes, needs, and preferences, then headed toward the basement to look through the stacks of clothing that I didn’t have space to hang outside.  I filled up a big plastic tub of clothes for her to take home and try on.  She took pictures of the ones she wanted to buy and brought the rest back.  She ended up with sweaters, a winter scarf, a winter headband, snow boots, a swimsuit, and some all season clothes!  It was so fun to be able to welcome her to the neighborhood and the country.

-          Many items found the RIGHT HOMES.  Lots of people were careful about their purchases, really looking things over, considering them.  It was obvious that they would value and care for them.  One of those was a little girl whose parents bought her the American Girl horse.  It was a beautiful horse and came with horse accessories, too!  The girl beamed when I showed it to her.  And about an hour after they left the sale they sent over a photo of her playing with her new toy.  Heaven.  These items also found perfect homes!

Who doesn't love a good Todd Parr book?? 

A Minnie Mouse fan and his new stuffie

-          A man who I never met volunteered to sew MASKS for the sale!  Someone had donated really pretty fabric, and this man said he would make masks with it.  We required all shoppers to wear masks (and were glad that people respected that rule).  So even though people already had masks ON, they still wanted to buy the pretty handmade new ones.  It was great.

Great handmade masks

-          A couple of nights before the sale a group rode by on bicycles.  They asked if we could use CDs for the sale, and bookends.  Ummm, sure!  Why not!  Off they rode, only to came back an hour or so later with almost every cd known to mankind!!  They had spied a dumpster full of TREASURES and rescued some for the sale!  Isn’t that fantastic??  And you know what?  So many people wanted those CDs!  There was music of every genre!  And lots of the book ends sold, too.  Thus proving, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

-          Many people involved their CHILDREN in the sale this year.  Some kids came with their own money (little kids!) and the assignment of choosing something to buy.  One brother and sister duo had the sale concept explained to them before arriving, then the mom asked me to explain it, too, so that they clearly understood what the money was for, how prices were decided, etc.  Then they set about perusing games, toys, jewelry, and clothes.  When they came up to pay the mom asked them how much THEY thought the price should be.  Each child carefully considered the items.  One said, “Umm, I think $21.”  The other said $24.  So the mom and I decided to split the difference - $22.  But as the mom was pulling the money from her wallet, the little girl said seriously, “Mom, wait.  I think it should be $25”.  So that is exactly what they paid.  I loved that those children learned about so many things – kindness, generosity, value… 

-          Sooo many families donated this year.  It was INCREDIBLE.  And trust me, this yard sale had the widest variety of items of any sale ever!  There were cat beds, bundt pans, sleeping bags, a Scarlett O’Hara doll, a grown your own avocado set, books on a very wide variety of topics, Easter decorations, a food truck for kids to play with, furniture, a huge selection of jewelry, even a SQUATTY POTTY!!  But here are a couple of MY favorite donations (and yes, of course I bought them!)

Hey look - a wrestling singlet!  Can't pass that up!

Wait a gosh darn minute...  Did whoever donated this know that I am a MERMAID??

-         And so many people helped.  The general consensus is that next year, we need to schedule people to work in shifts.  But even without that, I had TONS of help this year.  Neighbors who came with their kids to help put merchandise out.  A neighbor who bought us dinner after the first day of the sale (and stayed super late the night before the sale to help finishing putting things out).  Neighbors who loaned tables.  A neighbor who stopped by almost DAILY for 10 or so days before the sale delivering finds – tables, clothes racks, etc.  Neighbors who delivered bottles of wine!  Neighbors who did not complain when I repeatedly begged for more hangers.  Seriously too many people to thank.

We still have a LOT of items left.  We miiiight open up again this weekend.  You will for sure see me auctioning off more items during the year on my Facebook page.  I might sell a few items online and put the money in the Kindness fund.  And I will for sure pack some things away for sale at the Kindness Yard Sale 2021.

Here is what you likely have been waiting for – THE GRAND TOTAL….  This will go up after we close out 3 auctions tonight, but for now, the grand total of the Kindness Yard Sale 2020 is….

(DRUM ROLL….)

$5,543.69!!!!

Can you believe it????  We almost TRIPLED the amount that we raised last year!

That money has been safely deposited in the bank.  And pretty soon, after we are no longer stiff and sore and the house has been tidied up, I can start to mull over ideas for KIND WAYS TO SHARE it.  I can’t imagine how much kindness that amount of money will spread!  It makes me giddy to think about it.

THANK YOU.  Thank you shoppers, online auction bidders, people who donated, people who helped, people who shouted out encouragement as they drove by.  THANK YOU.

Be on the look-out for KINDNESS coming your way.

It Takes A Village To Keep Warm

The last five years I have put up what I call “Project Warmth” on the front gate of our house.  We live on a very busy corner – cars drive by all hours of the day and night, and there are often people on foot and bicycle who pass, too.  I learned through experience that some of those who walk past are homeless.  And many who walk by, though they may have a roof over their heads, are barely making ends meet.  So, things like thick coats, warm sweatshirts, cozy hats and scarves, and a nice pair of mittens or gloves for themselves or their children are sometimes not possible.  They make do with what they have, even in the middle of a cold winter.

So, to try and help out with that problem, for “Project Warmth” I hang cold weather gear on our front gate.  There are signs (both in English and Spanish) telling passersby that the items are free for the taking, and that they should pass them along to someone else when they no longer need them.

View of Project Warmth from our front porch - every morning when I wake up the first thing
I do is see if there are still items hanging out there!

The first couple of years I did this project I worked from a large box full of sweaters that my dad had cleaned out of his (huuuge) sweater collection.  I also had some coats and hats I had collected to give to homeless people in DC.  Those items, coupled with a some of our own things that we wanted to give away, got us through the cold weather giving season.  But this year, even though I cleaned out my closets and baskets full of hats and gloves, I didn’t have enough to keep the gate supply going.

So, I leaned on my neighbors.  I posted in a neighborhood “Buy Nothing” group and asked if people had items to contribute.

And boy did they!  I have received donations of very, very warm coats.  Of brand-new hats and mittens.  Of scarves and gloves and every color and size.   There have even been gorgeous HAND KNIT pieces donated!!  And, unlike the normal set up in the Buy Nothing group, instead of me driving to the giver’s house to pick the items up, many people dropped them off right at my house!! 

It has been incredible.  Instead of having just 1 item on the fence at a time, this year I have been able to put out 3 at a time!!  Usually the gate gets cleared off twice a day (sometimes I put items out at midnight and they are gone when we wake up!).  I am so grateful to my neighbors for being kind and generous.  With the community’s support, we have helped people stay at least a little bit warmer this winter.

The bin of warm donations for the front gate is OVER FLOWING, and that is after
giving many, many away already!  

It takes a village.  And I am honored to be a part of mine.

(Here is a piece I wrote about Project Warmth in 2016:  Project Warmth - Warm Kindness

Kindness in Chaos

I can only describe the last five months of my life as SHITTY.  Sorry if that word offends you, but anything less that “shitty” would be sugar coating things.

First, my sweetheart broke his collar bone on our very first dip in the ocean of our first day of vacation.  Ouch.  

Taken a half hour or so before he broke his collar bone while body surfing...

At the Urgent Care - frozen peas on the injury while awaiting x-ray results...

We thought that was bad, until….

Just a week or so later, my sister was diagnosed with glioblastoma (brain cancer).

Celebrating my birthday in Florida with my sisters - 6 days before Annette was diagnosed with brain cancer
 (she is the one in the middle - we had no idea she was sick)

Kayaking in Florida - we paddled the wrong direction and had to work hard to get back UP CURRENT
and in a huge storm that blew in.  Sherry and I did it while healthy, Annette did it with a brain tumor!

A couple of days after major brain surgery - still smiling

After her brain surgery, but while she was still in the hospital in rehab to recuperate, my dad’s blood pressure went off the charts low and he ended up hospitalized, too.  Luckily, both family members were in the same HOSPITAL but on different floors, so I basically spent all day and all night going from one floor to the other visiting and talking with doctors and nurses.

Patient #2 (Dad) visiting Patient #1 (Annette)

My dad’s mystery illness was never really pinpointed (well, they figured out that his heart was in “a-flutter” and gave him some new meds to control that, and his blood pressure went up with fluids, but why it all started was a mystery). 

All of this time, I was living in Omaha to be close to my family, only seeing my partner when he could fly in from DC every few weeks for a couple of days.  But one night he texted me very late saying that someone had DRIVEN INTO OUR FRONT PORCH.  Literally.  Crashed into our house.  Took out the front gate, the front steps, part of a stone column, a flower planter…  Totaled 2 cars – the one that ran the red light and slammed into car number 2, pushing it into our home.  Luckily no one was injured, but a couple of months later and we still do not have a gate or steps…

Oh my...

This is the view from the porch when David came out the front door...

Pretty lousy parking job if you ask me...

 

I popped into town for 3 days to sleep in my own bed and see the destruction...

Fast forward through the late summer/fall – my sweetheart’s collar bone healed.  My sister graduated from rehab and started radiation and chemo.  My dad, though very stressed about my sister and his wife with Alzheimer’s, was doing ok.

My DAD surrounded by his 3 daughters

Then he had a heart attack (the sort that the doctors bluntly told us is called a “widow maker” and most people do not make it to the hospital after having…).  Then the attempt to put in a stent or stents to open up the 90% blockage was deemed a “no go” and a double by-pass was done.

And juuuuust when he was doing better – walking a bit at the hospital, sitting up in the chair, making us laugh again – a nurse called in the middle of the night to say they were “coding him”.

So yeah – he died November 17^th.

Like I said, it’s been a shitty summer and fall.

But in the middle of it all, a mysterious kindness activist appeared…

One Sunday morning, David sent me a video and photos, saying that magically a teeny tiny work crew had appeared in the rubble of our front steps!!!!  There were bulldozers, tractors, a very diverse crew of little workers…  All set up by some lovely, unknown neighbor!!!!!

A WHOLE CREW of workers and equipment magically appeared!!!!

David added the adorable sign

To say that the kind act made me smile is an understatement.  I had a grin from ear to ear.  WHO had done such a magical thing???  These little secrets are things that I myself love to do, but who reversed the magic and presented it to US??? 

Have no fear - the workers are here!

The scene is swarming with workers (and rubble, and bits of car and flower planter...)

After basically being gone from July – November, I got home last night at midnight.  We cannot use the front door (because, hello, no STAIRS) so went in the back door.  (Well, technically, my honey went in the front door after climbing over the side of our porch, then when through and unlocked the other door for me, don’t ask…)  Anyway, I did not see the recent addition to our porch disaster until this afternoon, so I do not know if the mystery kindness activist added it TODAY or earlier. 

But look – THEY DECORATED THE RUBBLE FOR CHRISTMAS!

A SNOWMAN!

Who CHANGES COLORS!

This little light up snowman was found on the corner of our porch!  He runs off a battery and even changes colors!

And they put up actual CHRISTMAS LIGHTS right over the stair rubble, that run off a solar panel!  Hahahahaha!  The lights are not working – we need to check them tomorrow in the daylight.  It might be because we live on a busy corner (hence the car crashing into the house…) and so it is not dark enough with street lights for them to turn on?  But they are there – magical little fairy lights strewn across what once was stairs, a rail, a flower pot, etc.  I love it!!

So, I just wanted to say THANK YOU to whoever the mysterious Kindness Activist is.  You have made a very, very difficult time in my life a wee bit lighter with your whimsy.  You brought me smiles, and made me believe that things are not always going to be this, well, this shitty. 

KINDNESS COMES IN ALL FORMS.  Sometimes it takes the shape of a tiny plastic construction man or a little glowing snowman.  If we just open our eyes, and our hearts, we can see it.

Thank you. 

Cooking (and Cultural) Kindness

Have you ever thought of kindness as cultural?  A Kindness Activist I recently met (online) eloquently explained her take on kindness, and after seeing what she had to say, I have been thinking a lot about it!  But I am getting ahead of myself!  First, meet Avanie:

The newest person to be named a Kindness Activist - Avanie!

And now, meet Joanna: 

The lovely Joanna

Joanna is my Facebook friend, a fellow interpreter who used to live in DC but moved to Seattle years ago.  We keep in touch on FB, and a couple of months ago I saw her post this:  “There are some amazing people who live in my community. I responded to a neighborhood message that Avanie posted on Facebook several months ago. Her goal is to spread kindness and knowledge about her culture through teaching cooking classes...at no cost. She invited 10 (or so) strangers into her home and taught us how to make an Indian comfort food dish. I left happy and wondering how I can pay it forward. Oh, and this was her 6th cooking class!”

A photo from the free cooking class Joanna attended - doesn't it look delicious?

Suffice it to say, the post and the photos piqued my interest!  A neighbor offering free cooking classes to complete strangers definitely fit the title of KINDNESS ACTIVIST!  So, I contacted the teacher, Avanie, and was honestly overwhelmed by her lovely and generous spirit.  The first thing I thought when I read her answers to my questions was, “Wow, I really wish she was my neighbor!!”  But the more I took in what she told me, the more I realized, I had it wrong.  Instead of wanting her to be my neighbor, I wanted to be more like her to MY NEIGHBORS.  

Here are some of the insightful things she told me:

Avanie moved to America in 2008.  She is married to a non-Indian, white American and they have a 4 year old daughter.  As someone who grew up in another culture, I think Avanie can look at America with “fresh eyes”, something we need, to give us all a fresh perspective.  One thing she noticed is this, “I feel our country suffers from a similarity bias.  We don’t want to hear perspectives of people that think any differently than we do.  We cannot achieve anything by siloed thinking.  I want to find common ground, bring people together, to discuss how to positively bridge divides.”  Inspired by one of her daughter’s books, “Same, Same, But Different”, she starting thinking of things that people across all cultures and political persuasions might enjoy.  Common grounds she came up with were; food, music, and art.  She is not artistic, but did learn to cook at age 24 and enjoys it, so she went with FOOD! 

Avanie posted in her neighborhood Facebook group, offering to open her home to teach 10 – 15 people some Indian dishes.  Her first class was April 2017, and she has done at least 6 more since then (plus one bigger class at a different facility).  Around 100 neighbors have taken her cooking classes, and many, many more are on an ever-growing wait list to attend!!  She tries to offer a class every month.  “My cooking classes are focused on Indian food, mostly because I am Indian so I can cook Indian food from memory so it is easier.  I am thinking of expanding these to guest cooks for other cultures to be showcased.”

And lest you think Avanie lives a simple life with loads of free time available to do things like teach strangers to cook, she is busy!  She works, travels, and of course has her own family to tend to as well.  “There will never be enough time or money.  You have to carve it out.  You have to prioritize it.”  She likes the idea that some of the neighbors who have taken her classes are considering starting teaching their own sessions.  That doesn’t surprise me, because I haven’t even been lucky enough to take one of Avanie’s classes but even from across the country I can tell how inspirational she is!

What a beautiful, happy family

When I asked her what the goal is for her classes, the explanation was perfect: “My goal is for neighbors to know each other.  I will think it is successful if I can walk around (my community) and know most of the people.  I want to bump into neighbors at coffee shops and grocery stores.  I believe when you know someone on a personal level your biases and stereotypes about them are busted.  I grew up Hindu in India, but I went to a Catholic school and my close friends were all different religions.  Speaking and writing in four languages fluently was normal.  I believe the next generation that can fluidly transition across a global culture will be successful.  I can offer my multi-racial kid that through culture, language, and travel, but I want to give that to the entire community she is growing up in.  I want to fight the current hate filled political world with kindness.”

Isn’t that the most eloquent explanation of COMMUNITY you have ever heard?  And the brilliance to think beyond her home, beyond her family, into the entire neighborhood, is beautiful.  Because teaching diversity, kindness, and culture in your own home only goes so far. But if the messages of kindness can spread throughout the town, then perhaps our world can begin to change.

“Teaching the classes makes me feel hopeful,” Avanie told me.  “Hopeful that people can embrace diversity regardless of ethnicity.  Did you know in Seattle segregation laws by neighborhood associations which prevented people of color from buying homes were not even illegal until 2005?  People have mistaken me for the gardener and are shocked that I helped pay for half of our home LOL.  It is very uncomfortable living in Seattle as a brown person, but I refuse to self-segregate.  I know it is also uncomfortable for white people when they feel guilt.  I am going to stand my ground and hopefully be an example to people – white, brown, and all other shades – to realize that being uncomfortable is ok.  We need to seek it out.  It is the first step to normalizing our future global world.  We need to stop being so politically correct that we ask no questions in fear of retribution.”

Kindness Activist, cooking teacher, and all-around lovely human being in action!

As with almost every Kindness Activist I have interviewed, Avanie’s kindness is not limited to the action she is being recognized for here.  She hosted a baby shower for neighbors, learned to make Chinese dumplings so that a friend with a new baby did not have to miss out on the treat during Chinese New Year, made food for her dog walker recovering from surgery, surprised a crying neighbor with a pot of chai, and funded her sister’s applications to doctorate programs so that she could become a doctor and work to cure Parkinson’s Disease (which their mom suffers from).  When speaking of these kind acts (and many others), Avanie’s basic philosophy of life came through, “…personally, I would say I do what is right.  Others have told me when I have done things that it is unusually kind, but to me, there is no other way.  I don’t have a “kindness checklist” in my head.  Why kindness isn’t the norm, I have no clue.”

She continued, “I wonder sometimes why the USA is so formal.  I am married to an American, but this cultural difference eludes me.  Why is kindness a “checklist”?  That is so weird to me, why it wouldn’t be impulsive?  I typically force kindness, from what I have gathered, onto my recipients by just saying, “I’m doing it” instead of asking if I can (unless I have never met them).  I wish it would be ok to ask for help.  I ask my neighbors to water my plants or pick up my packages when we travel, and they always do.  My oldest neighbors tell me they are glad we bought this home 2 years ago.  I find it amusing and rewarding.”

Avanie, I bet ALL of your neighbors are glad you bought your home!  You obviously bring much kindness, love, and happiness to your community.  Your story has inspired me to strive to be a better neighbor and try harder to build a more cohesive and understanding community.

“Giving and receiving kindness are both equally important to building a community.  The giver gets a lot more out of it than people realize.  Givers feel accomplished and happy,” she said.  So true.  That perspective reminds me of the funny song in the Broadway show “Avenue Q”, where the characters (puppets) sing, “When you help others, you can’t help helping yourself!”. 

As if she hadn’t already inspired and taught us all enough, Avanie summed things up with, “As humans, the key to happiness is gratitude, and making a difference to someone else’s life.  It need not be more complicated.  Kindness = Happiness.  If you want to be happy, do something for someone else.”

THANK YOU for your inspiration and your kindness, Avanie.  You are indeed a Kindness Activist. 

Bonus photo of more of the tasty food from the cooking class!

P.S. – I must close things out with a hilarious quote from our interview.  I was telling Avanie about my visit to India and the amazing people I met there and things we saw, and she told me (of her kindness), “In India what I do would be normal so maybe it’s less crazy.”  😊