It's (fill in the blank) Night, And You Know What The Means...

At Kindness Activist, we are always looking for new ways to spread kindness.

But we also have some tried and true kind acts that we do over and over.  We repeat them, because they are fun and the recipients love them so much.

One of our common acts of kindness is buying a meal for strangers.

No, not a meal in a restaurant.

But a meal at a GROCERY STORE!

Breakfast is served!

How it works:

My partner David and I love to grocery shop.  In fact, we went to a grocery store on our very first date decades ago!!  Because we enjoy it, we find ourselves at the grocery often.  And sometimes when we are there, if we have time and energy, and put together a meal for a stranger!

Fruit theme!

We choose which meal we are aiming for – breakfast, lunch, or dinner.  Then we get all of the necessary ingredients to make it!

Dinner is on the house!

If it is a breakfast, it might have coffee, milk, cereal, orange juice, eggs, bacon, bagels…

Hearty breakfast ready for delivery

If it is lunch, it might have salad, soup, fruit…

More of a dinner than a lunch, but comes with dessert!

And if it is dinner, we might put together a protein, vegetable, starch, and dessert.

This dinner came complete with sparkling lemonade

Sometimes we do “theme” shops – like all pink and red things for Valentines, or a bag full of SNACKS. 

St. Patrick's Day theme

Wishing you a very Aldi Christmas

It is so fun!

Someone's having hashbrowns for breakfast!

We then take a photo of the items.  Ideally, we take a picture of David HOLDING everything.  One, because it is fun.  And two, because it is funny!!  You can often find us in the aisle at Trader Joe’s, David trying to balance way too much and me snapping a picture.

See?  It's much more fun when David is in the photo...

I then post the photo on our local Buy Nothing group.  I list out everything that is in the offer and explain that we will drop it off to the person chosen the same day.  I explain that the food is not “needs based”, it is “kindness” or “magic” based, so anyone can get it.  (Note:  we do a LOT of needs based food giveaways 24/7 in the Little Yellow Free Pantry, so these special grocery runs can go to anyone!)  I also explain that we prefer to give the food to someone who has not received one of these deliveries from Kindness Activist before.

Neither of us understand the appeal of pumpkin spice season at Trader Joe's,
but we do not let our opinion yuck someone else's yum.

We then finish our shopping, check out, load up the car, and see who has commented on the post.  We choose a recipient, get their address, and bring it to them on our way home from the store.  It is so fun!

This breakfast looks really tasty to me

We have given these special meals to: tired mothers of toddlers, people who are jet lagged from just returning from a trip and haven’t had time to go to the store yet, teachers on limited budgets, people who simply love the food we have chosen, and lots, lots more.  We do these giveaways about twice a month (so often, in fact, that my phone can auto-type the posts, which always start with, “It’s (fill in the blank) evening, and you know what that means...”.

Ahh, that time Aldi had a whole POT ROAST kit!

These small acts of kindness have also allowed us to meet lots of people in the community, and see new neighborhoods.  See, the kindness is good not only for the recipients, but the givers, too!  And delivering these meals also introduces lots of new people to Kindness Activist!

Anyone hungry for a little SNACK?

We have been doing these special grocery meals for years now and I doubt we will stop any time soon.  Our Buy Nothing group has over 4,600 members, many of which are still strangers to us!  But bit by bit, meal by meal, we are meeting more and more of them.

Cheerios - they're what's for breakfast!  
(Along with lots of other tasty things.)

Each meal averages $26.00 (we are savvy shoppers).

No, I am not running out of photos yet.  Like I said,
this is an oldie but a goodie act of kindness!!

That’s not a lot of money in the grand scheme of things.

Another BIG breakfast!

But just the idea that someone else went to the trouble of planning a meal for you, and took time to deliver it.  Well, that makes these extra special.

Are you hungry yet??

Kindness - in Happy Times and in Grief

It’s time for another update on how money raised at the Summer Kindness Pop Up is being used to spread kindness in the world! 

I am part of a very active Facebook group in my community called Buy Nothing (BN). BN groups are hyper local and exist so that neighbors can trade crap for free! I am sure that is not how their mission statement is written, but it is in reality what happens 😊 . If, for example, I have a perfectly good vacuum that I no longer use, I take a photo of it and post it in BN. Then a neighbor who NEEDS a vacuum sees the post, replies that they would like it, and comes and picks it up from my porch. Conversely, if I, say, have one more holiday gift to wrap and have run out of wrapping paper, I can post “Help! Does anyone have enough wrapping paper left to wrap a shirt box??”. A neighbor will see that and reply that they have some, and I will pop over to their house and pick it up for free. The system is brilliant! It not only keeps things out of the landfill, but it has been a terrific source of friendships for the members of my local BN! I highly recommend you find the one in your area and join! 

Anyway, that background on BN is so that you will understand this first use of Kindness Activist funds. I noticed in my BN group that WATER TABLES for kids were a hot commodity. Whenever anyone listed one, many people commented that they wanted it. I saw that as a supply issue – there were simply not enough water tables in my neighborhood!!! 

So, I posted this in the group: “We do not have kids, and WATER TABLES were not a thing was I was little. However, I see they are in demand here, and I would like to gift someone with one that I will purchase with Kindness Yard Sale funds. This is the one that looks good to me (good reviews and pretty colors!): (link to water table) I will not necessarily be giving to the first person who responds. Will choose by the evening of July 4th and order it to be delivered directly to the recipient. #BuyNothingRocks #ItTakesAVillage #WaterTablesLookFun “ 

Lots of people replied – some to say water tables are great, and some to put their name in the hat to get one. I ended up choosing 2 families and getting 2 tables. I love that it was all done thru BN, because I know that when the children they were purchased for outgrow them, they will be listed in the group and find their way to a new home. One of the mom’s who got a water table said this, “I told my oldest one all about you and the kindness process you have going on. He was very, very grateful! He said he will keep you in his prayers and also thanked God for this and all the people that contributed.” Isn’t that so sweet?? 

Playing with their new water table

TOTAL SPENT: $170 

If you have ever lost a loved one and been responsible for any of the post-death arrangements, you will understand this story. 

When someone dies, arrangements continue long after picking out the casket, choosing the writing on the headstone, and the memorial service. There are cell phones to be cancelled. Cable tv to be turned off. Insurance agents to contact. The list is long, depressing, and very daunting. 

So, the other day when we were in the DMV to transfer the title of a vehicle, when I heard the young woman at the window next to us, I knew Kindness Activist money would need to be used. The woman was at the DMV to get a title for a trailer that her father, now deceased, owned. 

He must have had many vehicles and been a frequent customer at the DMV, because the employees there knew him. The young woman explained that he had died, and the employee working with her said, “I am sorry to hear that” or something similar. But after that quick acknowledgement of his passing, it was business as usual. “Do you have this form? Please sign here. We need to photocopy that…” etc. 

We had to run to the bank to get cash to finish our transaction but before we ducked out, I asked if the young woman would have to pay anything for what she was getting done. The DMV employee said that yes, unfortunately she would. “Please add that to our total,” I said. 

The young woman looked at me with tears in her eyes. I explained that I, too, had lost my father. That I understood how hard it was to keep it all together and tie up the loose ends. We looked one another in the eyes – hers watery and sad- and understood the grief that only daughters who have lost their fathers know. I wished I could hug her, she needed a hug, but Covid prevented that. But she knew she was not alone. 

TOTAL SPENT: $125.25 

A woman in our Buy Nothing group posted this simple message: 

"In search of some sort of giant tarp or plastic sheet that could be used for a water slide! Or if anyone has any unused water balloons We are doing a young adult water games day for our church so I’m trying to collect supplies. Thank you so much!!"

Well, that seemed like a Kindness Activist request if ever I have seen one! Because let’s face it, water days are FUN, and especially if you have the right supplies!! 

I jumped on Amazon and ordered a waterslide, water guns, water balloons, and bubble wands. That was a fun “shopping trip”. Everything was mailed directly to the woman planning the event. She was so excited (as was I!). 

The event was yesterday and went really well!! She posted some fun videos on Facebook of the young adults having a blast. Then she posted this thank you in the BN group: “Due to the kindness and generosity of the Kindness Yard Sale and Susan Thompson-Gaines, our young adult group at church was able to have an amazing water day event yesterday! Through this group, we were gifted a water slide, water guns, bubbles, and TONS of water balloons!!! 

The church group has been really important for young adults in the area during Covid in helping support one another mentally, spiritually, and psychologically as many young adults in the area were struggling with isolation and loneliness - especially since many are so far away from their families! The generosity and kindness shown from everyone on BuyNothing has been so encouraging, and it enabled us to have such an awesome time for young adults to connect with one another and just have fun! So blessed to be a part of this community and thankful for the Kindness Yard Sale and all the wonderful things that have come from it!

P.S. If there are any young adults who are in need of community, support, encouragement and friends, don’t hesitate to message me and I can help connect you to the young adults at Capital Life church 

“He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God.” 2 Corinthians 9:10-11” 

TOTAL SPENT - $149.05 

A neighbor’s refrigerator went out and her landlord was not replacing it. She found a used one (free or cheap, I can’t remember) and someone was kind enough to deliver it to her. 

But have you ever had your fridge go out and had to replace the contents? It is not cheap… So, money from the Kindness Activist fund was used to stock her up!! Doesn’t this cart of food look fabulous?? 

Of course she needed ICE CREAM - don't we all?

TOTAL SPENT - $79.91 

Another neighbor was running a bit low on groceries, so non-perishables were collected from the Little Yellow Free Pantry outside our home, and perishables were delivered to her. Having food – good food – is a critical part of life. And with so many people losing their jobs during Covid, getting food to fill your cupboards and refrigerator is a luxury for many. 

TOTAL SPENT - $58.66 

And finally, the last purchase for this update. 

We were at Target in the self-check out area. When we finished, I saw a woman with a baby in a front pack, the baby covered by a pink blanket. The woman was purchasing baby things – she had a swing in the cart she had already rung up and she was holding some outfits in her hands. 

I understood the “dance” she was doing – it was the “should I really get this?” dance. Sometimes that is a “This is more than I should spend…” dance, and sometimes it is a “Do I really need this??” dance. We stood quietly and waited as she made her decision (GOT THEM!) and prepared to pay. 

That’s when the fun part happened! I popped up next to her and told her I would like to treat her. She was so surprised!! And happy! It turned out her baby Chloe was turning one month old that day. Happy birthday little Chloe. 

Moments like that are so special. To be able to treat someone is an honor. 

TOTAL SPENT - $205.48 

One of the main ideas of Kindness Activist is that when we share stories of kindness – received, given, or witnessed – it inspires others to be kind. And I know for a fact it works! We saw Chloe and her mom walking out of Target and her mom was talking to a friend on the phone, telling them what had just happened. She saw us and asked how to find what we do – I told her about Kindness Activist on Facebook. And later that evening she followed the page. And we heard her tell her friend that she would like to give back. 

See?? It works! If we are not ashamed to talk openly about kindness, we can create ripples. Little kindness ripples. They can be big, or they can be tiny… But ripple after ripple after ripple will spread, and kindness will spread. 

Trust me, it works.

Robes of Kindness

Since its inception, the premise of “Kindness Activist” is that being aware of kindness spreads MORE kindness.  When you are willing to talk OPENLY about kindness, willing to share about it without embarrassment, it will inspire MORE kindness.  And when you keep your eyes and ears open to it – you will see kindness all around.

And that is why I share stories of kindness.  I know that they will be a ripple, inspiring others to be kind, then others, then others, and the ripple will become a wave.

Today’s story is about a woman who is beautiful both inside and out: STACIA.  She is a neighbor and a friend.  And Stacia has a huge heart.

She has 2 sons and one of them was severely injured last year when he broke his femur.  He is an active kid, and spending a month in a spica cast was not on his list of things to do…  And yet that is where he found himself. 

Stacia put the word out in a local Facebook group that they could use a bit of help.  Her original ask was a small one – bendy straws.  Her son couldn’t sit up to drink while in the cast, and bendy straws were needed.  Well, just like with so many other requests for assistance, that little Facebook group rallied around the family.  Meals, a furniture dolly to use as a tummy scooter, lawn mowing, toys delivered, cookies for the kids, shrubs planted, meal gift cards, and of course, bendy straws were given to the family during that difficult time.

That kindness inspired Stacia, so at Christmas time, she paid it back ten-fold.  She posted this message in the Facebook group: “Moms of Buy Nothing, were you an exhausted gift deprived mom on Christmas morning? Did you get perhaps a robe that you picked out yourself and nothing else? I have a special gift for you, gift deprived mom. It’s a Surprise that I will bring to YOU.  Please comment below and I’ll choose tonight!”

If you haven’t seen the Saturday Night Live sketch about the mom getting the robe, you must.  It is hilarious and spot on.  You can see it here .

Anyway, Stacia’s message resonated with the moms of the group, and replies poured in.  People said:

·         My daughter wrapped up something I already owned then gave it to me as my gift.

 

·         To which another mom replied:  Mine wrapped up something I gave her and gave it back to me (to which the original poster above replied, “You win.”)

 

·         LOL.  This post is so spot on because I’m wearing a robe I “received” from a past Christmas that I pick out and wrapped myself right now.  It was the only thing I got that year and I remember when I opened it, I acted a little surprised.  It was still the best Christmas because the youngest had not yet gone to hospice.  I no longer spend Christmas waking up early to cook or bake or wait interminable hours while other people play video games.  I’ve got it easy now with no kids at home.  But I do feel for all of those mothers and mother figures who are sleep and gift deprived.

 

·         I would like a surprise!  I was and am alone with my daughter.  I bought a trunk full of gifts for her and wrapped it all up last minute.  I made a good dinner just for her and me. 

 

·         LOL.  I ordered myself a couple things that I handed off to my 7 year old to wrap, so I am good.  Thanks for your thoughtfulness.

 

·         I didn’t even get anything.  ☹  But I was able to get gifts for everyone all thanks to this Buy Nothing group. 

 

·         My husband bought me an external hard drive…  and then was like, “Did you open the other box?!” all excited.  I was thinking, “Oh, here comes the good gift….”.  It was a case for the external hard drive.

 

·         I want to add my name to this.  I call myself the “little gift giver”, so maybe I can finally receive a gift for myself. 

 

·         I wish the Saturday Night Live skit wasn’t so on the mark for me.

Stacia hit a bullseye – so many mothers deserved gifts and surprises!!  So, she went to work!!  She had felt the love, kindness and generosity of the group supporting her family when her son was injured, and she paid it back in spades. 

She wrapped and hand delivered items to the neglected moms.  She gave some of them nice bath bombs, dark chocolate Justin’s peanut butter cups, and scented lip balms.  Some got perfume.  One got a $50 spa gift card!  Some got earrings, bracelets, home spa items like masks and bath salts and scrubs.  One deserving mom got a box of Godiva chocolate. 

One mother told me that Stacia got her the perfect gift: “Stacia’s gift made me feel very special.  She picked out gifts that were suitable for the person, which to me meant that she really knows people personally – what their likes and hobbies are.  Since I am in the beauty field I got pampered with a calming face mask and a brush cleaning soap!  At the same time, she probably knew I needed something to take care of myself, too, and pamper myself.”

Another recipient of Stacia’s kindness told me: “Stacia gave me Burberry perfume!!  I would never have bought such an indulgence, and I was flabbergasted.  It restored my faith in the tenderness of humanity.  I literally received NO gifts.  I could afford anything I would ever want to buy, and yet it is so much sweet to have someone think of you.“ 

Yet another lucky mom told me,  "I commented on the post not expecting a gift, but to say how funny that skit was, because of how much mothers stress about shopping  for everybody but nobody is stressing about getting gifts for mom.  I felt so special because I was not expecting to be a recipient, so when she messaged me that there was a gift at my door I was really surprised!  Stacia gave me a robe, just like in the SNL sketch!  Every time I wear it I smile because it reminds me of that sketch, and of how good and funny people are."  

And guess what?  Stacia had a great time being the DELIVERY PERSON of kindness!  She said, “It was so fun for me to be an elf!  I truly believe we mammas gotta stick together and lift each other up”. 

She wanted to do something special, and the special factor was off the charts.  In the year of Covid, acts of kindness like this go even further.  We all feel so isolated these days.  Stacia went out of her way to bring joy (and gifts!) to women in the community. 

I hope that her kindness can inspire YOU to do something kind today.  Big, small, any act of kindness makes the world a better place.

 

 

Secret Ikea Kindness

Often people think of ACTS OF KINDNESS as huge, elaborate things that require preparation, time, and money.  But many times they can be simple, spur of the moment, and not that pricey!  And on the very rare occasion, they can be a bit magical and mysterious!  Here is the quick story of one of THOSE acts of kindness…

The other day my sweetheart and I were heading to Ikea.  I saw a neighbor post in a Facebook group that she was hoping someone had an Ikea shelving unit to give away.  I commented on her post that I would be happy to pick up a new one for her while we were at Ikea if she would repay me.  She replied that she didn’t have it in the budget to buy one right now, but was hoping someone had one they were no longer using that they would pass on.

I thought that was the end of my interaction on the matter and had my fingers crossed that someone would give her their old one.  But I never imagined that a different person in the group would see the short exchange and volunteer to be a “mysterious kindness fairy”!

Someone messaged me and said, “Susan, if you go to Ikea and they have the item she wants, grab it and I will reimburse you”.  Just out of the blue!!!  I replied and told her she was amazing, to which she humbly said, “Nah, it’s just been a crap year and this stuff makes me happy”.  AMEN, mystery kindness fairy!!!

THEY HAD IT IN STOCK!  Ikea for the win

Ikea DID have the item, so we bought it and delivered it to the person, telling her that someone wanted her to have it but not giving any names.  She was REALLY SURPRISED and delighted.  Later that evening she wrote, “Some faith restored in the kindness and generosity of stranger(s) this evening.  Thank you, whoever you are!”.  And the next day she sent me this photo of her brand new, fancy storage area!

PERFECT!!!  Printer stand.  Storage boxes.  Ahhh, organized!

So, you see, kindness doesn’t have to be elaborate.  It can be done in secret if you like!  All it has to be is heartfelt.  Your actions can make a difference.  Especially NOW, in this time of turmoil and anxiety in our country, little actions mean a lot.

What can YOU do to make a difference?

It Takes A Village To Keep Warm

The last five years I have put up what I call “Project Warmth” on the front gate of our house.  We live on a very busy corner – cars drive by all hours of the day and night, and there are often people on foot and bicycle who pass, too.  I learned through experience that some of those who walk past are homeless.  And many who walk by, though they may have a roof over their heads, are barely making ends meet.  So, things like thick coats, warm sweatshirts, cozy hats and scarves, and a nice pair of mittens or gloves for themselves or their children are sometimes not possible.  They make do with what they have, even in the middle of a cold winter.

So, to try and help out with that problem, for “Project Warmth” I hang cold weather gear on our front gate.  There are signs (both in English and Spanish) telling passersby that the items are free for the taking, and that they should pass them along to someone else when they no longer need them.

View of Project Warmth from our front porch - every morning when I wake up the first thing
I do is see if there are still items hanging out there!

The first couple of years I did this project I worked from a large box full of sweaters that my dad had cleaned out of his (huuuge) sweater collection.  I also had some coats and hats I had collected to give to homeless people in DC.  Those items, coupled with a some of our own things that we wanted to give away, got us through the cold weather giving season.  But this year, even though I cleaned out my closets and baskets full of hats and gloves, I didn’t have enough to keep the gate supply going.

So, I leaned on my neighbors.  I posted in a neighborhood “Buy Nothing” group and asked if people had items to contribute.

And boy did they!  I have received donations of very, very warm coats.  Of brand-new hats and mittens.  Of scarves and gloves and every color and size.   There have even been gorgeous HAND KNIT pieces donated!!  And, unlike the normal set up in the Buy Nothing group, instead of me driving to the giver’s house to pick the items up, many people dropped them off right at my house!! 

It has been incredible.  Instead of having just 1 item on the fence at a time, this year I have been able to put out 3 at a time!!  Usually the gate gets cleared off twice a day (sometimes I put items out at midnight and they are gone when we wake up!).  I am so grateful to my neighbors for being kind and generous.  With the community’s support, we have helped people stay at least a little bit warmer this winter.

The bin of warm donations for the front gate is OVER FLOWING, and that is after
giving many, many away already!  

It takes a village.  And I am honored to be a part of mine.

(Here is a piece I wrote about Project Warmth in 2016:  Project Warmth - Warm Kindness

Cot of Kindness

I asked for a cot.  But I received KINDNESS.

My sister has glioblastoma GBM), brain cancer.  She was diagnosed in July 2018, and after brain surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy it recently recurred, crossing over to the other side of her brain.  It is now untreatable.

So, while the past 17 months have been packed with trips, long talks, literally checking things off her bucket list, telling stories, laughter, and tears – her remaining time will be spent in a hospice house, surrounded by loved ones, tenderness, and many visitors.  She moved into the hospice house on Sunday and 5 family members have set a rotating schedule to spend the night with her so that she never has to be alone (her biggest fear right now).

The hospice house has a recliner in her room that folds back, but it does not seem the most comfortable way to spend an entire night.   My nephew ordered a cot to keep in the room for whoever was staying over to use, but it wasn’t arriving until TUESDAY.

So, on Monday (which was my scheduled night to spend over), I posted this message in the “Buy Nothing Traveler’s Network” on Facebook:

“Is there anyone in the Omaha or Council Bluffs area that has a fold up cot or a blow up
twin bed that I could borrow? My sister was admitted to hospice today. We are going to
be spending the nights with her there, but there is not an extra bed for family members.
We have one cot that we've ordered that will arrive on Tuesday, but if I could borrow
another cot or blow up bed here then both my sister and I could spend the night with our
sick sister at the same time. We would be very appreciative.”

I had seen many wishes get fulfilled on that site, usually parents looking for things for their kids while they were traveling, so I hoped this ask might get answered.

No sooner had a posted than responses started.  People from around the country replied saying they were so sorry for what my family was going through and that they sent love and would keep us in their thoughts.

Before long, someone offered a zero-gravity chair!  Then someone offered a hammock!!  These were TOTAL STRANGERS and they were going out of their way to find a way to let me and my two sisters have a slumber party.

Then out of the blue, a Facebook message popped in.  It was from someone I had never met named Jessie.  She explained that she is a nurse in Omaha and that her sister had sent her a screen shot of my request for a cot.  She said, “TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED”.

And honestly, even before I replied to her I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  I explained about the cot.  She replied that she didn’t have a cot, but could we use a warm meal?  THIS WAS A COMPLETE STRANGER!

All the while she had posted a note on her personal Facebook page asking HER friends if they had a cot to lend!  (I found this out later when I friended her…)  And lo and behold, one of them did, and Jessie arranged it all.  She worked late and then took time to go pick up the cot and deliver it to me at the hospice house.

A complete stranger!!

And she said we can borrow it as long as we need it.

Jessie, you might not know this, but you delivered more than a cot.  You delivered a renewed belief that people are good at heart.  You delivered an understanding that if you are hurting and willing to ASK for help, it will come.  You delivered KINDNESS.  Thank you.

Springtime Kindness

We live smack dab on a busy corner.  We have traffic pretty much 24/7 and people biking, jogging, and walking by a lot.  To some people this location might be a bit too noisy, too busy, and annoying.  To me, it is LOVELY!  I like to eat breakfast and look out the window to see people walking by.   I like to have dinner on the front porch on warm summer nights and see cars driving by (though the occasional fire truck that blares past the house can be a bit loud…).  In short, this is a great location for us.

Another reason that this corner of two busy streets works so well is that it means I can use our little piece of the world to SPREAD KINDNESS.  I often have what I call “front gate projects”, especially when spring and summer weather hit.  I have done front gate projects asking people to examine what Inspiration, Beauty, and Joy meant to them ( Inspiration, Beauty, and Joy link ), in winter I giveaway warm clothing ( Warm Kindness link ) and lots of other things.  I express creativity and kindness on our gate!  😊 

So, when the weather started warming up last week, I started planning my newest front gate project – PROJECT SPRING!!  I got some plastic Easter eggs through our local Buy Nothing group (Buy Nothing is a cool concept – the sharing economy.  Here is a link to a story about Buy Nothing - Washington Post Buy Nothing story link.  Check and see if there is a Buy Nothing group near you, and if there is not, set one up!!)  So anyway, with Buy Nothing, you list things that you have that you want to GIVE AWAY for free, and people contact you if they would like them.  Someone listed a big bag of plastic eggs to give away, and I picked them up.

Each egg has a ribbon on the top and TREATS inside!

I cleaned them, sorted them, and glued ribbons onto each of them.  Then started the FUN PART:  filling them!!  I put treats in each egg – candy, bubble gum, super balls, little toy cars, stickers, change, 1 egg was larger and I fit a little bottle of bubbles in there, and 2 of the eggs had dollar bills 😊.  Each egg also contained a little slip of paper wishing people a happy spring and telling them about Kindness Activist, so they can join in the movement!  I also made a sign to hang on the gate so people would understand that these eggs were for SHARING, not just for decoration.

Then I HUNG THEM UP!!  I tied them with ribbons carefully to the fence on the Saturday before Easter.  Oh, I should point out that I wanted to make sure that these eggs were not seen solely as gifts for those who celebrate EASTER.  I mean, the egg is traditionally a symbol for Easter, but I have Muslim neighbors, Jewish neighbors, and I am sure many who do not have any connection to a religion.  So when I posted about the project to my local neighborhood Facebook group and to the Buy Nothing group, I explained that the eggs were for all ages and all beliefs – they are to celebrate spring time!!

Pick an egg, any egg

Celebrate SPRING!

It has been so sweet seeing people come and get eggs!!  The first 2 people I saw stop were teenage girls, and they were excited to get involved!   I have seen families come by and get eggs, couples, and kids.  Everyone left with an egg in their hand and a smile on their face.

Kindness can be super easy to spread.  It just takes an bit of inspiration, an idea, and in my case, a front gate.

HAPPY SPRING.  May the sunshine inspire you to spread kindness.  

(You can follow Kindness Activist on Twitter at @KindActivist and on Facebook at Kindness Activist  

Pantsuit Kindness

I’ve long believed in the concept of SHARING things that I no longer want/need.  You know, what used to be called “hand-me-downs”.  Giving your little sister or younger cousin the sweaters that no longer fit – that sort of thing.

But in the last few years, that concept has broadened to beyond outgrown clothes shared within your family to still good but no longer needed items shared in your COMMUNITY.  I love it!  I often give things away on our sidewalk (we live on a busy intersection).  I used to post things often to give away in a group called Freecycle (check it out – there is probably one in your neck of the woods).  And this year, I found “Buy Nothing”, a super local group that is organized on Facebook (my branch is “Buy Nothing Columbia Pike”, but perhaps there is a Buy Nothing by you that you can join!).

The idea of Freecycle and Buy Nothing is this:  just because you no longer need or want something doesn’t mean you should throw it away.  Instead, you should GIVE IT to a neighbor!  Did you get an extra set of measuring spoons for your birthday and don’t want two sets?  Why, GIVE that old set to a neighbor!  Replaced your black purse with a brown one and don’t want to store the old one??  I bet a neighbor could use it!  Or, your baby outgrew those adorable Nike tiny tennis shoes???  Some other mother is going to be thrilled to get them!  Instead of throwing things away or giving them to a thrift store, you are giving them to someone who lives in your area.  It is fabulous!  Once someone replies and says they want the item, you tell them your address and agree on how it will be picked up (I normally put things I am giving away on our front porch swing, the takers can show up and get them anytime). 

This fan is being given away today on Buy Nothing

These kids shoes are on offer by another neighbor

And this toy recently found a new home on Buy Nothing

Full disclosure here – I have been using the hashtag #TeamPantsuit for months.  I am fully with her.  :) So when a “secret Facebook group” (which now has millions of amazing members!) came about called Pantsuit Nation, I was thrilled to become a member.  And when election day came around, I went through my closet to find the perfect pantsuit to wear to the polls.  :)

Only, what I found in my closet that night before the election were several pantsuits that were, ummm, a bit too “snug” for me.  I mean, I had size 2 Petite pantsuits and even a 0 Petite!!!  Lord knows when I was tiny enough to wear THAT one…  So I took those tiny pantsuits, took photos of them, and posted them in my Buy Nothing group.  I put funny blurbs to accompany them (I thought they were funny anyway…).  Several members “liked” and “loved” the posts, but no one said, “Oh yes, I need a teeny tiny pantsuit!”.

Size O Petite Purple Pantsuit :)

(Here is the blurb I posted with this pantsuit in the Buy Nothing group:  "Oh my goodness, Nasty Women, this is for the teeniest, tiniest among us. I know what you are thinking, "Susan, WHEN the heck were YOU a size zero??". Well zip it, cuz apparently at one point I was, and I have the pantsuit to prove it!!! This one is seriously a size 0 Petite (who makes that???) and it is from Petite Sophisticate. It is a gorgeous eggplant color, and if it fits you the rest of us are insanely jealous. As with the other pantsuits, preference given to anyone who IS WITH HER (bonus points if you are a member of the "secret" FB group Pantsuit Nation!)."

No one wanted the purple pantsuit, that is, until Sarah, the newest Kindness Activist.  Yes, Sarah commented on the posting that she would love the purple pantsuit, the SIZE 0 PETITE.  Seriously, she is a mother of 2 and wears a 0 Petite…  But all jealousy aside, I was thrilled someone could use the pantsuit!!  So we exchanged pick-up information and I hung the pantsuit (covered with a bag to keep it clean) on our front door for her to pick up the next day.

This is the pantsuit I ended up wearing on election day.  We vote with paper ballots, then scan them.  This is me
 right after scanning. Let's just say it was lucky I was smart enough not to wear mascara that day.

Well, for members of Pantsuit Nation (and for a little over half of the country it turns out…), the next day, November 9th, was a depressing and confusing one.  Many of us were walking around in a stupor after staying up until all hours of the morning watching the election results roll in.  When I left the house for a work assignment that day the pantsuit was still hanging on my front door.  But when I came back, the pantsuit had been replaced by this:

Bright beautiful flowers where the pantsuit had hung

And this lovely note

Sarah left me FLOWERS and a beautiful note.  I couldn’t believe it.  She is a complete stranger, and she took the time to be so kind.  She didn’t need to do that – no “payment” or thank you is expected or required in the “gift economy” systems of Freecycle and Buy Nothing.  In fact, no one has ever left me a thank you (that I can remember) in all the times I have given things away. 

Needless to say, when I saw the flowers I cried.  They were exactly what I needed that afternoon. And I contacted Sarah via email to ask her a few questions for this story.  Here is what I learned:

Me:  How did you think of delivering flowers to a stranger?  What made you do it?

Sarah:  “Honestly, I don't know what made me think of this. I just had on my list that I needed to pick up the pant suit -- it was almost surreal for me to see that on my to-do list on Wednesday morning, since, on Tuesday night, when we had arranged for me to take it, I was in such a happy, hopeful place. A mere twelve hours later, it felt like a lifetime ago. I guess I just wanted to reach out and do something to brighten your day, and I had a bouquet of flowers on my table that my husband had brought me when I was sick last week, so I plucked the most brightly colored ones out to counteract the darkness of the day (both literal -- it was so gloomy yesterday -- and figurative). “

Isn’t that perfect???  I love that the flowers originally came from someone who was kind to HER when she needed it, her husband, and she managed to share that kindness with ME.  Such a seemingly small gesture, but trust me it meant SO MUCH to me.

Sarah, who has a heart filled with kindness

I think people like Sarah who are so kind usually have some inherent reason, something that influenced them.  And in Sarah’s case, one of those influences was the shooting at the school in Newtown, Connecticut, where she is originally from.  She told me, “I try to be as kind as possible in general, but I feel like the call to kindness is louder and more urgent when the world is hurting. I grew up in Newtown, Connecticut, and I (like so many others) was so devastated by the shooting there in 2012. The town's reaction and unwavering belief that "love wins" was so moving to me, and "love wins" has become something of a mantra for me. (Some days it's easier to believe than others, but I do believe it's true.) In fact, there's a "26 Days of Kindness" campaign that people in my hometown do -- for the 26 days leading up to the anniversary of the shooting, individuals perform random, anonymous acts of kindness, each one in honor of a shooting victim. I did that the first year, and I found it helpful in coping with the tragedy -- though I generally prefer for acts of kindness to be more spontaneous and unstructured, I know a lot of people find comfort in the 26 Days ritual.”

I told Sarah that, as the recipient, the flowers felt to me like a warm hug (on a freezing cold day).  She agreed that was an apt description, then added something that I agree with 100% - “I guess (giving the flowers) also felt empowering, like maybe I could do something good for the world in the face of a devastating loss.”   That is something I have noticed about kindness:  you don’t set out to do a kind act to make YOURSELF feel better, but that is often an unintended consequence.  There is a line in a song from the Broadway Show “Avenue Q” that I like, “When you help others, you can’t help helping yourself”.  It’s true.  Acts of kindness help the recipient, but they also do something to boost the spirit of the giver.

Sarah, THANK YOU for your kindness.  You lifted my spirits on a day that I need that very much.  And, as you said, LOVE WINS.  

Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go pick up some brand new tights that a neighbor is giving away.