A Hot Meal (But No Bed)

Was it how I PLANNED to spend a chunk of my Wednesday evening??  Well…  No, not really.

And yet – here I am smiling and glad that I did.

I finished work today and as I opened the front door to go out and get some sunshine and fresh air, I saw my friend, the pantry guest who cries so easily and “knew my mother” (in his mind, though in my reality the two of them could never, ever have been in the same place at the same time).  I rushed out to greet him – had to hurry as he was walking his sky blue bicycle away from our house (having already stopped by the Little Yellow Pantry to pick up some food).

I hollered his name and said, “Come on back – have a seat on the steps.  I will make you a hot dinner!  You hungry??”. 

I have been working on how I speak to him.  In our interactions, I have come to realize that my “need to be polite” leads to me asking a lot of questions.  And questions are something that my friend cannot handle.  Even what seem like a simple question – “Hey there!  Which would you to eat tonight – chicken noodle soup or chili with beans??” presents an overwhelming choice for him.  So, this evening I carefully just put it out there – dinner would be served soon, come sit (though I fell back into my old questioning habit with, “Are you hungry??”.  That damn midwestern female need to be polite…)

I rushed inside carrying a pantry donation that had just been unpacked from one of five or six huge Amazon boxes that got delivered today:  a Velveeta cheesy chicken alfredo dish.  I bunged it in the microwave (“bung” is a term of art that only refers to microwave cooking, isn’t it?  I like it) and ran downstairs to the pantry storage area to get his favorite – a fruit cup – and a Gatorade (courtesy of the amazing mystery donor who is so, so, so supportive of the pantry).

When the food was hot I went out to deliver it and sit with my friend as he ate.  He deemed the meal “very good”, and I bragged about my excellent cooking skills. 

He and I had a meal like this yesterday, too.  Same location:  our front steps.  Different main course:  hot vegetable beef soup.  Same dessert:  fruit cup.  And same conversation – about how “things are different” now, about how he “has he had a car…”  The same conversations we have each time.  And when I chime in a point that I know about his stories, one he hasn’t gotten to yet, he looks at me with sheer confusion and said, “How did you know that???”.  Ahhh sir, because you have told me this story 300 times…

His friendship has taken on more of a sense of urgency lately, as I have learned that he is unhoused…  He told me when we first met (when I asked “where are you staying?”) that he was sleeping at a friend’s house.  It seemed factual, not like one of the confusing statements that he makes.  I was relieved to know that even though he seems to wander the community all day on his blue bicycle, at least he had a couch somewhere to sleep on (and a blanket, I hoped).  But a different friend told me the other day that she really thought he was homeless.  I begged to differ (I wanted it not to be true), but have driven by the little spot where he snuggles in for the night 3 or 4 times now and he is there every time.

Tonight he and I had a long conversation.  We talked about the usual stuff, and we even got to laughing.  He remembered some new details tonight!  He remembered that his father worked in a store in DC, and that if someone got caught stealing from that store, the security guards beat them up.  He has mentioned his father before, but never his mother.  So I broke my rule of not asking questions and said, “Hey, do you remember your mother??”.  That stumped him.  He thought and thought and couldn’t for the life of him recall his mother.  (Odd, isn’t it?  His memory can serve up images of my mother quick as you please, but ask about his own mother and he draws a blank).  “Maybe she died when you were young, and that’s why you don’t remember her,” I offered. 

He talked again about how he used to sleep in the basement of this house, the one we call The Big Yellow House.  He was stumped by that…  “Your mother…  Why?  Why did your mother???”…  He had us both laughing at one point when he decided that the reason he knew my mother was because she sold him marijuana.  “What????” I guffawed, “MY MOTHER SOLD YOU MARIJUANA???  I don’t think so!!”.  “Well, it wasn’t COCAINE…” he stated. 

At one point he lifted his pant leg to scratch, and I saw that he had a lead from the hospital stuck to his ankle.  “You have been in the hospital!!” I declared.  It felt like I was solving a mystery.  Only, the it was a mystery to us both, as he had no memory of being in the hospital.  Well, he DID tell me the story (again…) about how he was in THREE HOSPITALS, and he doesn’t know HOW he got there but he didn’t like it.  “Well yes, you were in three hospitals.  But that was a long time ago (I have pieced that together from his stories).  THIS hospital visit was recent – look – you still have the thing stuck to your ankle!!”.  Nope.  That rang no bells.  No recollection at all about having had a hospital visit recently.

Empty fruit cup, and the hospital lead I convinced him to peel off 

I explained to him tonight that I think he is not staying with a friend at night but is sleeping outdoors.  He wasn’t sure about that…  “Well, where are you staying?” I asked.  “I don’t really know…”. 

And I believe him.  He doesn’t really know.  I don’t think he is lying. When he told me he was spending the night at a friend’s a few months ago, he thought that was true (and maybe it was at the time…).  But now, now he is definitely on the street.  But isn’t it a strange trick of the mind that I know that fact but he, the person who it is actually happening to, doesn’t?

I talked with him about the local shelter and played up how nice it would be:  a bed!  A shower!  Hot meals!!  He seemed to think it sounded like a good idea, too, and asked if I could call them.  I did call but it was after hours and the staff couldn’t answer my questions of how to get him a bed.

So here is our plan:  I will call the shelter tomorrow.  I will try and understand the system and how he might fit into it.  And for his part?  He agreed to come back tomorrow after I have the information.  “What time??” he asked me 6 or 7 times.  We agreed on “oh – around 2:00 pm”.

Will he remember to come?  I rather doubt it.  But I will have the information and we will take it from there. 

Roadtrip Kindness

My partner David and I have embarked on a little ROAD TRIP!  And as fun as it is to hop in the car and DRIVE, exploring new places – it also means I am neglecting my duties at the Little Yellow Free Pantry.

Luckily, we have a crack PANTRY CREW that steps in while I am not there!! 

You see, the Little Yellow Free Pantry runs on a bit of a different system than most Free Pantries and Free Libraries.  Usually, when you see a “pantry out in the wild”, it is dependent upon community members to physically FILL IT UP.  People bring cans of vegetables and bags of rice and beans and boxes of pasta and physically put in IN THE PANTRY.

But since the inception of the Little Yellow Free Pantry two years ago, we have run it on a different model.  We treat the LYFP as more of a grocery store than a random pantry.  We organize it the same each time we fill it – 2 cans of meat on the left front corner of the top shelf, canned goods filling the rest of the top shelf.  Snacks in the small box on the bottom shelf, 2 single servings of fruit on the front left corner of the bottom shelf, rice and pasta on the bottom shelf, etc.  I like to keep the system consistent so that visitors to the LYFP have a general idea of where to find what they need.  It’s just like when you go to the grocery store – if you are there often, you know which aisle to look for toilet paper in, right? 

But to keep the pantry running with that system, instead of donors putting their items directly into the LYFP, we ask that they place items in a large bin on our front porch.  Or have them delivered via Amazon or another mail order service.  Then we (David, me, or a pantry crew member) carries all of those donations down to our pantry storage area, where they are sorted.  The storage area is quite organized – like a grocery store stockroom!  Canned meat in one area, drinks in another, cake mix in another, toiletries in another…  It is hard work carrying everything down and shelving it, but it makes it much easier when I go to fill the pantry (which is currently about 7 times per day), because I know exactly where to find what is needed.

So, while we are away, the beloved Pantry Crew takes over and keeps things running smoothly for Pantry visitors.  I am so thankful for that crew!! 

But here’s a secret:  I miss the LYFP when we are gone!  I miss the guests I have come to know.  I miss opening the boxes of donations and sorting them.  And I miss carrying out my wicker basket full of things to refill the pantry.

So, maybe that is why when we pulled into Asheville, North Carolina and passed a Little Free Pantry outside of Grace Baptist Church, my heart was happy.  Only, when we drove by a second time, I realized that it was nearly completely empty…  Not only that – it was in bad shape.  The plexiglass (maybe glass??) in the door was missing. 

Blessing Box - in need of repair, but more than that, 
IN NEED OF FOOD!

We don’t have the tools or supplies with us to replace the plexiglass, but we COULD stock the pantry!  So we took a trip to Aldi!  It was so fun to fill the cart with a wide variety of items (and because it was Aldi, we got much more for our money, they have great prices!).

 

Cart full of food for the Blessing Box

We took our haul back to where we had seen the pantry (which they called a Blessing Box), and the situation was even worse than it had looked from the road.  The Box needed the plexiglass repaired and a good cleaning.  And the only things on the shelves were 2 cans of food and a single tea bag…  Sad. There seems to be a lot of need in that community.

 

We carefully filled the shelves while we shivered in the cold.  Tiny snowflakes were even falling!  Even without a cleaning or new paint, the Blessing Box looked much happier just being filled!

 

MUCH BETTER!!

I hope that members of the community who need the food find it.  And I hope that members of the community who have more than they need will fill that box up again and again. 

 

Because everybody deserves good food.

 

Please seek out Little Free Pantries or Blessing Boxes in your community.  Donate an item or two.  If everyone pitches in, the shelves stay full, and neighbors do not go hungry.  If you would like to donate to the Little Yellow Free Pantry, our Amazon wishlist is here:  LYFP Amazon Wishlist

Kindness Activist funds used:  $88.26

Special Delivery - YOUR DINNER! (Kindness Activist Funds Update)

Ready for another report on how some Kindness Activist funds have been used??  Let’s do it!!

 

One thing we have been doing lately is treating people to dinner deliveries!  It’s been really fun. 

 

The idea started one evening when we had to go out after work and do something, even though it was cold and really dark.  I didn’t want to go out, but we had a commitment that we had to follow through on.  Well, I figured it I wasn’t in the mood to go out, there were likely others in the same position…  And since we were out anyway, we might as well fill some dinner orders!!

 

So, I posted in a neighborhood Facebook group that we would pick up dinner for someone and drop it off to them.  I gave a choice of some fast food restaurants in the neighborhood (Wendy’s, McDonald’s, and Burger King).  And I specified that we were not necessarily going to pick the first person who responded (because, you know how it goes, some people are fortunate enough (or addicted enough…) to be on their phone 24/7, and they respond first to everything!!

 

For two people who eat fast food only a handful of times a year, we sure have bought a lot of it lately!

The first time we did this we bought and delivered meals to a single mom and her 2 kids and boy oh boy, were they excited!!  The second time we delivered meals to a mom of one who was also babysitting a niece, and to another woman.  And tonight we made 3 deliveries – a woman who just had hand surgery and her husband, a family of 4, and a woman who was in the mood for fast food!  We did all of the orders one at a time tonight (we only have 2 cup holders in the car and we don’t want to spill…).  By the third time thru the Wendy’s drive-thru the man sort of recognized us 😊 .

 

I share this idea with you because it is so easy and it has brought so many people such joy!  It is a fun use of Kindness Activist funds.  It nourishes people and makes them happy.  And hey, we had to be out in the cold anyway!!

 

Total Kindness Activist funds spent on getting and delivering meals to people:  $168.73 (fast food has really gotten expensive!)

 

Yesterday I saw this message posted in a different Facebook group: “Hi neighbors who would like to support our neighborhood Title I school, Hoffman Boston elementary.  Our school and school community does not have the resources to pay for the teachers to have dinner today, parent/teacher conference day. Teachers will not have time to pick up dinner themselves and will be working around 12 hours today (after teaching our children all morning and early afternoon).

If you would like to contribute, consider bringing a dish by between 3-4 PM to the school or alternatively (and preferred) you can use the link below to donate via Pay Pal or Venmo and your donation will be used to support the school and with dinner tonight.”

 

Well, I have had a hard week at work, so making a dish to deliver was not in the cards.  But thankfully, because of amazing donors of items and shoppers at the Kindness Yard Sale and other donations that have come in, I was able to contribute money to help buy dinners for teachers.  Because let’s be honest here – teachers have some of the hardest jobs on the planet. Tiny humans are entrusted to them, and not only do they have to ensure those humans are not injured, they have to TEACH THEM THINGS, HARD THINGS!!  And teachers in America do not get paid enough for the work that they do. 

 

So yeah, donating to this meal for teachers was a no-brainer.  (And I heard today that enough food and funds were collected for all teachers to eat, and some even got seconds!)

 

Total Kindness Activist funds spent on pitching in to help ensure that teachers got a good meal:  $125

 

Sticking with the food theme – we paid for another stranger’s groceries at the Trader Joe’s check-out.  This is such a fun way to surprise someone!  The store was really crowded, so I just stayed at the register stand after we paid for ours (pretending to play with our bags or something…) until the cashier finished ringing up the woman behind us.  “May I pay??” I asked.  “Ummm, what?  Really???  Umm, sure!!” she replied. 

 

Her smile lit up the store, and she was still muttering to herself about the magic of it all as she wheeled her cart out into the parking lot.

Random Trader Joe's photo from what feels like another lifetime - the year I reviewed one Trader Joe's product every single day of the year and visited TJs stores all around the country

Total Kindness Activist funds spent paying for a stranger’s groceries:  $27.04

 

Danyi, a woman in our community is an amazing artist.  But she is a refugee and does not have the means to buy art supplies.  What I love about her work is that she turns anything (and everything) into art!!  She makes art out of old lightbulbs!  Art out of cardboard!  Art out of bubble wrap!  Art out of lampshades!  Art out of rocks!! 

 

And while she can and does find objects like that on the side of the road or in garbage cans, the ink and paint she needs to transform them must be purchased.  And that takes money.

 

Recently she told me that she would really like some nice INK to paint with.  She had secured some silk somewhere, and she needed good quality ink to turn it into art. 

A recent creation by Danyi, painted on part of a box

 

Because of the privilege of being the caretaker of the Kindness Activist funds, I could grant that wish!  Just a few clicks and a couple of days later, 2 jars of nice ink arrived and were gifted to her.  I can’t wait to see how the silk pieces turn out!

 

Another piece by Danyi painted on a box

Total Kindness Activist funds spent on ink for an artist:  $38.26

  

Now for the last accounting story for today.  A member of our community recently asked if anyone had any adult coloring books.  She was collecting them to give to someone who would be in the hospital a while. 

 

I reached out to see if there were other things that might be needed, and learned that the requester is a nurse in a prepartum care unit at a local hospital.  Here’s what she told me, “I am a labor and delivery nurse at VHC, I specifically take care of our antepartum patients who are high risk pregnant patients who can stay anywhere from a few days to weeks and months on our unit in this hospital.  So, this would be for a mom who we are keeping pregnant for many weeks.  I asked this mom yesterday what she would like to do to stay busy and she said she enjoys coloring. I thought we had some coloring books on the unit but found none, so thought maybe our community might have some I could use on the unit/to give to this patient.”

 

Once again, see how easy and fun it is to find ways to spread kindness???  I went to the store $5 Below because I knew they usually have good coloring books.  I stocked up on coloring books and a lot more – candies (after confirming it was ok for the mom to eat sugar), coloring pencils and pens, a journal, and lots of other goodies.  Then, I wrapped them all individually (I figured if this mamma was stuck alone in the hospital, maybe opening some gifts would brighten up her day!!).

 

But I got to thinking – imagine how hard those nurses work…  Like teaching, nursing is a tough profession and, if I may be so blunt, does not get the respect that it deserves.  So, I grabbed Starbucks gift cards for the nurses in the unit and wrapped each with a pretty ribbon and a little note thanking them for their hard work. 

 

Total Kindness Activist funds spent on gifts for a pregnant mom and nurses on the unit:  $172.67

 

That’s it for tonight’s stories.  I will update on how the funds are being used again soon.  In the meantime, I hope we run into each other in the wild!!  Maybe YOU will get surprised with free groceries next time you go shopping…  Or hey, if these examples of spreading kindness have inspired YOU (or as I like to say, have made a kindness ripple…) then perhaps YOU will go out into the world and spread some kindness soon!!  I would love to hear about it if you do!  Please email me stories of how you are spreading kindness at:  KindnessActivist@gmail.com  .  Thanks!