Year-Round Kindness

I have been pondering something this holiday season and want to share it here.

The holidays bring out the best in many people. 

Yes, holidays can also be very hard for some and bring up grief, sadness, addiction, depression, and loneliness.

But many people really “up their game” during the holiday season in terms of KINDNESS. 

People who don’t normally set aside funds for donations find a way to squeeze a bit into their budget to give to a local group or place of worship.

People who are normally too busy to give the gift of physical help and time somehow find pockets of availability to give assistance.

People who are normally too shy to interact with others find the strength to come out of their comfort zones and participate.

I have been pondering how to harness that holiday feeling and convince people that the kind acts they do during this time can be replicated year-round.

I think if we could all find a way to remember how good it feels to be kind, how amazing it feels to get involved, and how special it feels to help, then this type of “holiday kindness surge” wouldn’t have to plummet once the new year rolls around.

Many organizations, mine included (Kindness Activist) need support and assistance year-round.  There are always things that need to be done.  Yet many organizations are inundated with kindness and support during the holidays, which then dries up for the next several months. 

An example of this is a story I heard recently.  Someone was looking to donate TOYS about a week before Christmas to a worthwhile organization.  They contacted a women’s shelter and were told that their capacity for toy donations was full up.  The organization could not physically take any more toys.  So many people had been moved to donate that they could not store anymore. 

But think about it…  The children in that shelter with their mothers need toys year round.  New children come and go.  Toys break.  Children have birthdays.  And I would bet $5 that donation of toys to the shelter surges in November and December, then dies out until the next November.  If the offer had come in to donate after the holiday season, the shelter would have been thrilled and had space to accept.

Another example is giving gift cards, food, and items to people experiencing homelessness.  There are so many stories during the holidays of people going out to feed others living on the streets.  And that is LOVELY and I am sure very appreciated, but those same people (and more) will also need food in March.  In August. 

Or how about the groups of volunteers who come out in droves during the holidays to serve meals to those experiencing homelessness in shelters?  Yes, it is amazing that people are willing to give of their time to plate meals and serve them to strangers with a smile, but those same dinners need to be served every single night of the year, not only during the holidays. 

I do not want to come across here as ungrateful.  I promise I am grateful for every ounce of kindness that people put out into the world, be it during the holidays or at another time.  The world NEEDS.  MORE.  KINDNESS.

But I encourage you (us, really, myself included for sure) to work to find a way to keep the spirit of kindness going…  Long after the menorah is put away.  Long after the lights are taken off the tree.  Long after the holiday spirit moves you.

Make time for kindness.

It doesn’t have to be big.  It doesn’t have to take loads of time or money.  It doesn’t even have to cost a penny! 

o   Send someone a greeting card (not a holiday card) in the middle of the year

o   Offer to drive someone to a medical appointment

o   Bake a batch of cookies for a neighbor

o   Do you drop your spare change in the red Salvation Army bucket during the holidays?  Drop it in a cup in your car instead, and when it adds up a bit use that money to buy a stranger’s lunch

o   Donate your time or money to an organization whose mission moves you

o   Ask a local public school teacher what is needed for their classroom (there will be needs) then follow through on meeting one or two

o   Donate blood or plasma – that is needed year-round

o Did you leave snacks out for the Amazon delivery people during the holidays?  They work hard for the same pay the rest of the year, too - keep treating them

o   Make an extra big pot of soup or other food and surprise a neighbor with some

o   Stop and say hello to someone who looks sad – you may be the only person they talk to all day

 

Keep the kindness you feel in your heart during the holidays kindled year-round.  Not only will you feel better about yourself, you will be making the world a kinder place. 

And isn’t THAT a mission that we can all get behind??

To learn more about Kindness Activist and perhaps share some of your kindness with us, visit: TheKindnessActivist.Org

 

 

 

 

Holiday Magic

Another day filled with writing letters from Santa (soooo close to done I can taste it – trying to decipher a few really hard ones that kids wrote that are left).  MORE Amazon deliveries (including the coveted collectibles that a very special child requested that this elf feared might be late, but the holiday gods shone down and they were delivered even quicker than the specialty website said they would be).

I put out an ELF EMERGENCY call for people to come wrap and elves came running.  Seriously, so many beautiful people have contributed to this amazingly huge effort.

And the Amazon woman.  Oh, the Amazon woman.

She brought a verrrry big delivery a couple of weeks ago.  As she hauled box after bag after box after box to the front porch (not to worry, I helped her carry), we talked.  I explained the Santa Project, and let her know that her hard work of delivering all of these gifts was going to make a LOT of children happy.  I asked if she had kids.  Turns out she has 2.  “Well, they deserve gifts from Santa!  What are their names, ages, and what would they like??” I asked.  She smiled, answered my questions, and gave me her phone number.  I said I would let her know when they were ready to be picked up.  Ironically, of course, they were ordered from Amazon, the very company she delivers for (as a contractor, Amazon doesn’t hire drivers apparently). 

 

She did another delivery here a couple of days ago and rang the doorbell to pick up the promised gifts, only they weren’t wrapped yet (and Santa hadn’t written their reply letters either).  She figured she would be delivering in the area again, no worries.  Only, the next time she came back, same problem – not ready.  I felt so bad.  “Hey, where do you live?  We will DELIVER them,” I told her.  “Maryland…” she answered, making it sound like it must be a part of Maryland not too close to us.

 

We finally had the gifts ready and arranged a time for her to grab them at the end of her route in the area, but she was busy and forgot.  Yesterday when we talked she said she would make a trip out to our house to get them today.  “The 10 B bus runs right by your home.”

 

Wait, what?  She drives and makes deliveries for a living, but will take the bus to our home? 

 

That’s when I realized that she has always been in a rental van when she delivers…  I bet she spends her own hard-earned money to rent a van to work.

 

She called from the train as she was on her way over today, and that’s when I realized, I had made gifts for her sons (really cute hoodies and a cool Star Wars hologram-like puzzle) but no gift for HER.  That had to change.

 

I quickly wrapped up something special just for her; body spray, a very fancy chocolate bar, fancy lip gloss, and a really pretty bracelet.  I put some decorative items on top of the package, then sat down for the most important part: writing the letter from Santa.

 

So many of the letters are difficult to write.  Sure, there are the easy replies to kids who just say, “I’ve been good, please give me x, y, z…”.  But what to reply to the Ukrainian girl who asks for an end to the bloodshed (her words)?  What to reply to the child who just got placed with a foster family and has nothing?  And what to reply to the extremely hard-working woman who is taking a bus a long distance to pick up gifts for her children??

 

I composed the letter and was proud of the result.  It said what it needed to say – encouragement, compassion, respect, and empathy for how difficult it must be to raise two young black men in this country. 

 

I had all of the gifts under the Community Tree of Celebration when she arrived.  We greeted one another, and I realized that I needed to get a plastic bag for her to transport the gifts as it was raining.  I ran in, grabbed a big blue Ikea bag, and brought it out to her.  She was holding one gift – the shared gift for the two boys, the puzzle.  “Oh, that bag is way too big!” she said, “I just need a grocery bag,”.  I turned to the tree and pointed to the other gifts, “But those are all for your family”. 

 

She hadn’t realized and was taken aback.  “Really??  You are gonna make me tear up!”. 

 

We picked up the presents and put them in the big blue bag, then covered that with garbage bags for good measure.  As we worked, we talked.  She said she has the next few days off work, then will start back up again.  We talked about Amazon returns, and she said, “If Amazon won’t take it back, you can give it to someone else!!  Or give it to the Salvation Army, they are GOOD PEOPLE.  They helped me a LOT!”.

 

She went on to explain how the Salvation Army came to her home when she was on government assistance and saw that she had no furniture.  “It was just me and one son then, but the Salvation Army gave him a bed, gave me a QUEEN SIZE BED, 2 dressers, an antique rocking chair and rocking footstool…” and on and on she went, explaining in detail with a gleam in her eyes all of the magical things that were bestowed on her, things that she couldn’t buy because furniture is so expensive.  She was so very grateful.  “Then, guess what??  They gave us 4 TVs!!  4!  For only 2 people!  And I told them that was too many, but they said, ‘Then sell them!’  But no, I didn’t feel right selling them after they were given to me.  So, do you know what I did?  I gave them away as Christmas gifts!!  I gave one to someone I knew.  The other, I walked up to a stranger’s house.  I put a note that said, “Merry Christmas from Santa” on the tv, and I left it right in front of the door!!”. 

 

What magic!!  This woman who I was trying to surprise with a gift had herself spread the very same magic to a stranger herself!!!

 

“And do you know what?” she went on.  “Those people I gave that tv to – they had Ring doorbell video of me, and they tried for two years to find me to thank me!!  They hired a private investigator!  He found me through social media and came to serve me a warrant.  Only, he said that the warrant said I didn’t need to show up in court, I needed to go to an address listed on it”.  Well, she went to the address, and the people who she had gifted the television to were so happy to finally know who had been their magical Santa.

 

When she was ready to leave, I popped inside and grabbed an umbrella for her (we have brand new ones from Kindness Activist to give to people in just this kind of situation – everyone deserves an umbrella in the rain). “Hey!!” she smiled at me, “You just gave me my very favorite color!!”.  Meant to be.

 

What a beautiful soul.  Working so very hard.  Traveling quite a distance to pick up gifts for her kids who she obviously adores. 

 

I hope she is surprised when she realizes that one of the gifts is for her.  I think she will be.  And I hope that the letter from Santa will extend her belief in the magic of the season and give her strength to keep on keepin’ on. 

 

Note:  I asked if I could share this selfie we took on social media and she said yes.  She is a terrific ambassador for KINDNESS (and for Amazon).    

 

 

Letters to Santa Makes the Washington Post!

I am so happy with an article in the Washington Post that came out today, December 10, 2022. 

The writer, Theresa Vargas, contacted me and asked if she could do a story about the Santa Project. She wrote a piece about the Kindness Yard Sale a couple of years ago, and this is a bit of an update on that if you will. The thing about my Kindness Activist work is that the yard sale is usually what gets the most attention. I get that - I mean, it is quite unconventional. 

But to me, the yard sale is just the fund raiser for the actual WORK that takes place throughout the rest of the year - surprising people with KINDNESS (that is funded by the sale). So, when Theresa asked if she could highlight the Santa Project I was thrilled. She is such a great writer. She is fun to interview with (which is not the case with all authors) - she truly listens and brings out the stories. The Santa Project is my favorite Kindness Activist event of the year. To share it with the world via The Washington Post is an honor. 

 Please read the story - it taps into the essence of the magic that is happening at the Big Yellow House. And, if you are interested in pitching in and fulfilling a child's wish, click the link in the article that says "gift giving project". 

If you cannot access the Amazon Wish List link from the article, go to this link:  Santa Project Wish List

And to read the beautiful article, go to this link:  https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2022/12/10/letters-santa-mrs-claus/?fbclid=IwAR1BqeuPFuCSLr_dZTkiAekWIFTwgj7lGysC2vjk1SXDKW6gnr1sx_4T8fo

THANK YOU AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Holiday Kindness

It is the HOLIDAY SEASON!

That can mean different things for different people:  joy, sadness, excitement, grief, stress, magic, depression…  Those are the same emotions that we experience at other times of the year, but somehow when the holidays roll around, they are magnified.  So, this year, I am going to consciously do my best to put KINDNESS in the forefront of my mind as I jump into the holiday season.  Sharing kindness with someone experiencing joy can enhance their joy (which can easily rub off on you!).  Sharing kindness with someone experiencing grief and sadness can shine a small flicker of light into their darkness.  And sharing kindness with people around us who we have no notion of what they are feeling can create ripples of kindness – ripples that will slowly spread to others and extend kindness further and further.

It is in that vein that I share some recent uses of Kindness Activist funds with you.

I love, love, love to surprise people by buying their Christmas tree for them.  We have done this every year since Kindness Activist began, and 2022 could be no exception!  So, I have been looking for someone to spring the Christmas tree surprise on.

But it is tricky!!!  I THOUGHT I found the perfect people in the holiday section at Home Depot one day.  They were pursuing artificial trees – up and down the aisles.  I could tell they were serious and would likely make a purchase on that shopping trip, so I pretended to be looking at holiday decorations, too.  I could tell when they had made their choice, so I strolled around to secretly see which tree it was and check out the price tag.  YIKES – it was over $300!!!  As much as I wanted to treat them, that seemed a bit much, so I kept quiet and left.

On other shopping trips, I saw people looking at trees, but they didn’t seem ready to commit yet.  Some days I stood and waited for someone to come through a check-out line with a tree but came up empty handed.  Ugh!

But I think those fails were meant to be, because when we finally found the people to treat, it was obvious that they were the exact right family for this kind surprise.  My partner David and I were in Bellevue, Nebraska on our 23^rd wedding anniversary.  Before going out to a fancy meal, I said, “Let’s stop at Walmart and see if we can treat someone to a Christmas tree!” (because nothing says “romantic anniversary event” than a trip to Walmart, right???). 

Welcome to Walmart

We walked around a bit, then started watching a sweet family with 3 kids and 4 adults.  One by one, each child chose a toy from a shelf, quietly walked it over to the shopping cart, and were told by an adult that they could not get it and needed to go put it back.  The youngest girl was especially sad that she couldn’t get the Barbie she coveted. 

We saw the mom stroll into the Christmas tree section and quietly followed her, pretending to be looking for our own tree.  As I “looked”, David went back to ask who we thought was the dad of the family if they were going to buy a tree that night.  But the man said he didn’t understand English, and David returned to me without the info. 

No matter, it quickly became clear that the mom was in the market for a tree and had indeed decided on one.  She had looked up and down the aisle at all of the options – big and small – and was ready to put a smaller, cheap tree ($69) in her cart when I spoke up.  “Excuse me – are you going to buy that Christmas tree?” I asked.  She smiled and told me yes.  “Well, we would like to treat you to a tree.  I saw you looking at those, too,” I said, gesturing to the more expensive ones.  “Would you like a bigger one?  Do you have space for one??  We can spend up to $200 on your tree”.

Her eyes lit up as she asked if this was true, were we actually going to buy their tree???  When I assured her it was true, she began to cry and a smile covered her whole face.  We looked together and she chose a beautiful, pre-lit tree that was $189. 

She and I walked back to the rest of the family and she explained to them (in French) what was happening.  They all smiled.  I told the kids that we had seen they had chosen toys earlier, and they should each go grab the toy and put it back in the cart for us to get.  That plan didn’t go as I had envisioned…  Instead of grabbing the toys they had previously picked and been told they couldn’t get, they grabbed big, fancy, very expensive things (the biggest being the whole display of LOL dolls that the littlest child really thought was a “set” and she “needed” 😊 ).  In the end I talked them down – each girl got a Barbie, and the boy got a small gumball machine and a little candy item. 

One of the things I loved most about the experience was what one of the little girls said as we were doing self-check out.  David and I had been shopping and talking with the family for about 20 minutes at that point, and the little girl looked up at me, eyes wide, and said, “Wait…  Are you WITH us???”.  It was beautiful.

What made the kindness even more special is that 2 of the adults were visiting Omaha from Cote d’Ivoire.  They got to witness a totally random interaction that showed them a good side of America.  It wasn’t the gun violence seen on tv.  It wasn’t the car crashes or reality tv shows or political fighting.  It was KINDNESS – seen firsthand.  And it was lovely.  Perfect way to spend our anniversary.

Kindness Activist funds used:  $222.33

 

The next use of funds retold here is not related to holidays that roll around in December, but one that happened in October – Halloween.  I love Halloween, which makes perfect sense because I love giving gifts!  And Halloween is a whole night of giving – giving TREATS to kids who ring the doorbell!! 

A sibling duo – pre-teen sister and small brother – have been visiting the Little Yellow Free Pantry daily for the last couple of months.  I think they are relatively new to the neighborhood.  The girl is very talkative and enjoys engaging.  The first time I met them at the pantry she explained that their mom has enough money to buy them food, but not enough for snacks.  Thus began a daily stop (or two) at the pantry for chips, dried fruit, crackers, nuts, juice, candy…  The kids are very respectful – always say thank you and take only what they need (though I have had to work very hard to keep the young boy from throwing his snack packages on the ground…).  Sweetly, the girl takes time to look through the whole pantry (not just the snack section) and sometimes finds items that she takes home for the family – cake mixes, cereal, pasta sauce…  Her maturity level at such a young age (helping to provide for the family) is amazing. 

October 30^th I asked (without thinking) what they were going to dress up as for Halloween.  “We don’t have costumes,” she told me, “But we will go trick-or-treating anyway”.  As someone who loves dressing up and seeing kids dressed up, this revelation hurt my heart.  “What would you like to dress up as???” I asked.  She wanted some sort of fairy outfit, he wanted a specific color Transformer.  “Done!” I naively thought.  I explained that I had beautiful light up fairy wings I would loan her, and we would run to the store to grab the Transformer costume.

Ok now…  Not only do we not have kids, but we also never buy store bought costumes for ourselves, we make them.  So, I had not thought ahead to the fact that showing up in the costume aisle at Target around 7:00 pm the night before Halloween was a recipe for disaster.  The costume section was a MESS – everything was thrown into one aisle, many bits and pieces lie on the floor, and everything was very picked over.  As you might suspect, the color of Transformer the little boy had requested was impossible to find.  But hey – there was a SPIDERMAN in his size, and the chest even LIT UP!!!  Bingo!!

The tale doesn’t have the storybook ending that I would like it to so that we could wrap it up with a perfect little bow.  The girl picked up the costumes too late to bring them to school.  They didn’t dress up in them and parade down to our house on Halloween night to show us how cool they looked.  And in fact, the girl didn’t return the wings when she had promised she would (causing me to do a lot of self-reflection, the wings were not the issue (I don’t need light up fairy wings really, now do I???  It was more about my feelings being hurt that a promise was not kept). 

In the end, my wings came back undamaged.  We saw the little boy in his Spiderman suit out taking a walk and stopping at the pantry on a random day (the costume had gone through the wash, so no longer lit up).  And the kindness had made the kids happy.  And really – that’s all we can hope for, right?

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $25.97

 

A local elementary school counselor contacted me last year to ask if Kindness Activist could help pitch in so that they could supply some families at the school with Thanksgiving meals.  It seemed like a perfect use of funds, so of course we donated.   We wanted to help again this year, so we gave the school $250 to help buy food to put together turkeys and side dishes for 11 families.  Thankful to be able to help.

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $250

 

I was contacted by a counselor at a local school saying that they had a mom of four students at the school who had just had a baby and was in need of a diaper bag and breast pump.  It is nice when asks are so specific – that makes granting them easy! 

Photo of the robe gifted to the mom (from the website, not the mom wearing it)

I shopped online and found a cozy robe for mamma, clothing and pacifier holders for baby, coloring books, colored pencils, paper, crayons, and books for big brothers and sisters.  Then, hoping to make Kindness Activist money stretch further by not buying the other items, I put an ask out into the community, and they did the rest…

We were overwhelmed with replies!!  More than one breast pump arrived (in excellent condition).  Beautiful diaper bag.  More baby clothing.  A diaper changing mat.  A car mirror!!!  Everything the new mamma and her baby needed.

These are examples of kindness that I love – when a whole community gets behind a mission.  Inspiring!

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $194.24

 

I consider it such an honor to be entrusted with the Kindness Activist funds, and am always on the lookout for new, creative, responsible and diverse ways to use them.  So, when I saw someone online asking if anyone had a juicer (she was looking for the exact same inexpensive but effective juicer we have), I knew it was a good fit!!

This was a simple gift – a quick act of kindness (order juicer, run to store to grab some oranges to go with it, and deliver to recipient).  These small acts of kindness go a long way to spread sunshine and happiness in the world!

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $35.01

 

That's the current report.  More news about how Kindness Activist funds are used coming soon.  Until then - may the holiday season find you healthy, feeling loved, and on the look-out for kindness.