From Babies to Birds (And So Much More)

I have not written any stories recently of how Kindness Activist funds have been used.  I am sorry about that!  I guess I DO have a good reason – I have been busy with Kindness Activist work!

But I will pause this evening to tell the stories of how some funds have been used.  After all, that is one of the main premises of Kindness Activist – if we talk openly about kindness and share kind acts we see, do, or receive – we can spread kindness ripples.  Those ripples will continue to spread when people inspired by the stories we share go out into the world and spread some kindness of their own!  Ripple, ripple, ripple…

Here is how some Kindness Activist funds have been used.

Having a baby, the first baby, is exciting!  But it can also be scary and lonely, especially if your family lives in a different country and you and your partner are not surrounded by aunts, uncles, siblings, grandparents, and cousins.  So, when a woman in our community was expecting her first child, a sweet friend planned a baby shower.  We collected many amazing donations of items from neighbors – stroller, car seat, blankets, clothing, diapers, wipes, books, toys – it was beautiful!  So many kind donations.  One thing that we did not get was a changing pad that the organizer thought would last long enough.  Som Kindness Activist pitched in for that. 

I am happy to report that the baby arrived December 11^th and is doing well (so is mamma).  It takes a village, and this little infant will have that.

Welcome to the world little one

 Kindness Activist funds used:  $25.43

  

Sometimes, it’s the little things.  Acts of kindness don’t have to be pricey, nor do they have to be grand gestures.  Even small acts of kindness can make a person feel special.  And that’s why Kindness Activist refilled a neighbor’s bird food supply recently when he ran out.  He feeds the birds everyday, it gives him joy.  And is on a limited budget.  He was happy to get some food for his friends!

 

Kindness Activist funds used:  $10.27

 

December is an ultra-busy month here at Kindness Activist.  We have a countdown to Christmas calendar on our front that has treats for kids everyday from December 1 – 24, we host a community caroling event, and our BIG annual project, The Santa Project, is all-consuming. 

 

One evening we were at Target buying gifts for the Santa Project and fun things to put on top of the wrapped gifts.  We used a gift card when we check out, and it just so happened that it had a strange amount left on it.  “We will pay $68.96 with a gift card, credit card for the rest,” we explained to the cashier.  “Wow!!  $68.96?  I wish I had a gift card worth that much!” she said as she smiled at us.  We chatted a bit and finished up.

Only, we were not finished.  My partner David said, “Hey, wouldn’t it be fun…” and our plan was hatched!  We checked with a manager to make sure it would not get the cashier into any trouble if we gave her a gift card, then went through another aisle and purchased a gift card for the exact same amount as ours had been - $68.96.  Then we got back in line with the first cashier.

I look exhausted here, and we were only 8 days into 
the calendar and a looong way from the end of 
the Santa Project :) 

She saw us waiting and I noticed a look of slight panic on her face.  When it was our turn, she said, “Is something wrong?  Did I ring something twice??”, looking worried.  “Oh no, just the opposite!” we said before we started “serenading” her with a carol.    

She was so happy and she couldn’t believe her luck.  We saw her again a few days later and she remembered us.  I asked if she had used the gift card yet. “Nope, I am saving it to buy gifts for my family!” she said.

Kindness ripples.  We were kind to her, and she will be kind to her family.  The ripples flow.

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $68.96

 

The Washington DC Metro is a very diverse, welcoming, and growing area.  Immigrants arrive from countries all over the world – hoping to make the United States of America their home.  Recently, a mother and her sweet daughter came to the US from Cameroon right before the little 5th girl’s birthday.

 

Neighbors helped to find furniture for the apartment to make it more like a home, clothes for them, art supplies for the girl, and get them generally settled in.  But birthdays are special, so a sweet neighbor organized a little birthday party in a neighborhood park. 

 

It turned out to be a beautiful sunny day in September and the children laughed and played and ran around the park.  The birthday girl looked beautiful in her fancy attire, and the celebration was grand.  Kindness Activist pitched in for pizza and little gifts for guests. 

 

Welcome to America, little friend.  May every birthday be full of delight and wonder.

Unicorns, pizza, and much more

Kindness Activist funds used:  $97.87

I was having an online conversation one evening and the person on the other end typed this, “I am trying to save money for a trip back to the Midwest, where my mom lives.  She is in a nursing home.  She’s been diagnosed with end stage dementia and being looked after by my brother and sister who still live nearby.  Our mom is 89 and we don’t know what the future holds.  I am trying to save money for a round trip ticket to attend her death, which grieves me, but I’m here on the East Coast and she is in the Midwest.  It’s a different world.”

 

As soon as I read the message, I knew Kindness Activist would buy an airline ticket.  My mom died in 2002 and I was fortunate to get to spend lots and lots of time with her (in the Midwest) during the last year of her life.  We traveled, we laughed, we danced, we talked, and we were all around her as she took her last breaths. I realize that is a privilege that many do not have, but I wanted to ensure that this person could at least go see their mother while she was still alive.

 

So, Kindness Activist offered to cover the airfare.  As we were working out logistics, the person told me, “Susan, I would so much like to see my mom again before she dies. I love her so much, and she always loved me.  I will with so much gratitude accept the Kindness ticket…  I’ve been saving to return for a funeral visit and grieving that I can’t make another live visit.  This would be another star in my heaven.”

 

When they returned to Arlington, they wrote to me, “I am home!  I got in late last night, but with the memory if a sweet reunion!  I’m pleased to report that although my mom’s memory is fading, she recognized me instantly,”. 

What an honor to be able to grant a visit with a loved one.  Because of amazing support from people around the country, Kindness Activist could make this wish happen.  (And, if I may “preach” a bit here, please visit YOUR mother if you still have one.  Write her a card or letter and mail it via the good old fashioned postal service.  Call and talk to her on the phone.  Mothers don’t last forever here on earth, only in our hearts.  So please make sure you tell yours that you love her today.

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $368.80

 

 

P.S. – stories of the 2023 Countdown Calendar and the Santa Project coming soon!

Holiday Kindness

It is the HOLIDAY SEASON!

That can mean different things for different people:  joy, sadness, excitement, grief, stress, magic, depression…  Those are the same emotions that we experience at other times of the year, but somehow when the holidays roll around, they are magnified.  So, this year, I am going to consciously do my best to put KINDNESS in the forefront of my mind as I jump into the holiday season.  Sharing kindness with someone experiencing joy can enhance their joy (which can easily rub off on you!).  Sharing kindness with someone experiencing grief and sadness can shine a small flicker of light into their darkness.  And sharing kindness with people around us who we have no notion of what they are feeling can create ripples of kindness – ripples that will slowly spread to others and extend kindness further and further.

It is in that vein that I share some recent uses of Kindness Activist funds with you.

I love, love, love to surprise people by buying their Christmas tree for them.  We have done this every year since Kindness Activist began, and 2022 could be no exception!  So, I have been looking for someone to spring the Christmas tree surprise on.

But it is tricky!!!  I THOUGHT I found the perfect people in the holiday section at Home Depot one day.  They were pursuing artificial trees – up and down the aisles.  I could tell they were serious and would likely make a purchase on that shopping trip, so I pretended to be looking at holiday decorations, too.  I could tell when they had made their choice, so I strolled around to secretly see which tree it was and check out the price tag.  YIKES – it was over $300!!!  As much as I wanted to treat them, that seemed a bit much, so I kept quiet and left.

On other shopping trips, I saw people looking at trees, but they didn’t seem ready to commit yet.  Some days I stood and waited for someone to come through a check-out line with a tree but came up empty handed.  Ugh!

But I think those fails were meant to be, because when we finally found the people to treat, it was obvious that they were the exact right family for this kind surprise.  My partner David and I were in Bellevue, Nebraska on our 23^rd wedding anniversary.  Before going out to a fancy meal, I said, “Let’s stop at Walmart and see if we can treat someone to a Christmas tree!” (because nothing says “romantic anniversary event” than a trip to Walmart, right???). 

Welcome to Walmart

We walked around a bit, then started watching a sweet family with 3 kids and 4 adults.  One by one, each child chose a toy from a shelf, quietly walked it over to the shopping cart, and were told by an adult that they could not get it and needed to go put it back.  The youngest girl was especially sad that she couldn’t get the Barbie she coveted. 

We saw the mom stroll into the Christmas tree section and quietly followed her, pretending to be looking for our own tree.  As I “looked”, David went back to ask who we thought was the dad of the family if they were going to buy a tree that night.  But the man said he didn’t understand English, and David returned to me without the info. 

No matter, it quickly became clear that the mom was in the market for a tree and had indeed decided on one.  She had looked up and down the aisle at all of the options – big and small – and was ready to put a smaller, cheap tree ($69) in her cart when I spoke up.  “Excuse me – are you going to buy that Christmas tree?” I asked.  She smiled and told me yes.  “Well, we would like to treat you to a tree.  I saw you looking at those, too,” I said, gesturing to the more expensive ones.  “Would you like a bigger one?  Do you have space for one??  We can spend up to $200 on your tree”.

Her eyes lit up as she asked if this was true, were we actually going to buy their tree???  When I assured her it was true, she began to cry and a smile covered her whole face.  We looked together and she chose a beautiful, pre-lit tree that was $189. 

She and I walked back to the rest of the family and she explained to them (in French) what was happening.  They all smiled.  I told the kids that we had seen they had chosen toys earlier, and they should each go grab the toy and put it back in the cart for us to get.  That plan didn’t go as I had envisioned…  Instead of grabbing the toys they had previously picked and been told they couldn’t get, they grabbed big, fancy, very expensive things (the biggest being the whole display of LOL dolls that the littlest child really thought was a “set” and she “needed” 😊 ).  In the end I talked them down – each girl got a Barbie, and the boy got a small gumball machine and a little candy item. 

One of the things I loved most about the experience was what one of the little girls said as we were doing self-check out.  David and I had been shopping and talking with the family for about 20 minutes at that point, and the little girl looked up at me, eyes wide, and said, “Wait…  Are you WITH us???”.  It was beautiful.

What made the kindness even more special is that 2 of the adults were visiting Omaha from Cote d’Ivoire.  They got to witness a totally random interaction that showed them a good side of America.  It wasn’t the gun violence seen on tv.  It wasn’t the car crashes or reality tv shows or political fighting.  It was KINDNESS – seen firsthand.  And it was lovely.  Perfect way to spend our anniversary.

Kindness Activist funds used:  $222.33

 

The next use of funds retold here is not related to holidays that roll around in December, but one that happened in October – Halloween.  I love Halloween, which makes perfect sense because I love giving gifts!  And Halloween is a whole night of giving – giving TREATS to kids who ring the doorbell!! 

A sibling duo – pre-teen sister and small brother – have been visiting the Little Yellow Free Pantry daily for the last couple of months.  I think they are relatively new to the neighborhood.  The girl is very talkative and enjoys engaging.  The first time I met them at the pantry she explained that their mom has enough money to buy them food, but not enough for snacks.  Thus began a daily stop (or two) at the pantry for chips, dried fruit, crackers, nuts, juice, candy…  The kids are very respectful – always say thank you and take only what they need (though I have had to work very hard to keep the young boy from throwing his snack packages on the ground…).  Sweetly, the girl takes time to look through the whole pantry (not just the snack section) and sometimes finds items that she takes home for the family – cake mixes, cereal, pasta sauce…  Her maturity level at such a young age (helping to provide for the family) is amazing. 

October 30^th I asked (without thinking) what they were going to dress up as for Halloween.  “We don’t have costumes,” she told me, “But we will go trick-or-treating anyway”.  As someone who loves dressing up and seeing kids dressed up, this revelation hurt my heart.  “What would you like to dress up as???” I asked.  She wanted some sort of fairy outfit, he wanted a specific color Transformer.  “Done!” I naively thought.  I explained that I had beautiful light up fairy wings I would loan her, and we would run to the store to grab the Transformer costume.

Ok now…  Not only do we not have kids, but we also never buy store bought costumes for ourselves, we make them.  So, I had not thought ahead to the fact that showing up in the costume aisle at Target around 7:00 pm the night before Halloween was a recipe for disaster.  The costume section was a MESS – everything was thrown into one aisle, many bits and pieces lie on the floor, and everything was very picked over.  As you might suspect, the color of Transformer the little boy had requested was impossible to find.  But hey – there was a SPIDERMAN in his size, and the chest even LIT UP!!!  Bingo!!

The tale doesn’t have the storybook ending that I would like it to so that we could wrap it up with a perfect little bow.  The girl picked up the costumes too late to bring them to school.  They didn’t dress up in them and parade down to our house on Halloween night to show us how cool they looked.  And in fact, the girl didn’t return the wings when she had promised she would (causing me to do a lot of self-reflection, the wings were not the issue (I don’t need light up fairy wings really, now do I???  It was more about my feelings being hurt that a promise was not kept). 

In the end, my wings came back undamaged.  We saw the little boy in his Spiderman suit out taking a walk and stopping at the pantry on a random day (the costume had gone through the wash, so no longer lit up).  And the kindness had made the kids happy.  And really – that’s all we can hope for, right?

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $25.97

 

A local elementary school counselor contacted me last year to ask if Kindness Activist could help pitch in so that they could supply some families at the school with Thanksgiving meals.  It seemed like a perfect use of funds, so of course we donated.   We wanted to help again this year, so we gave the school $250 to help buy food to put together turkeys and side dishes for 11 families.  Thankful to be able to help.

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $250

 

I was contacted by a counselor at a local school saying that they had a mom of four students at the school who had just had a baby and was in need of a diaper bag and breast pump.  It is nice when asks are so specific – that makes granting them easy! 

Photo of the robe gifted to the mom (from the website, not the mom wearing it)

I shopped online and found a cozy robe for mamma, clothing and pacifier holders for baby, coloring books, colored pencils, paper, crayons, and books for big brothers and sisters.  Then, hoping to make Kindness Activist money stretch further by not buying the other items, I put an ask out into the community, and they did the rest…

We were overwhelmed with replies!!  More than one breast pump arrived (in excellent condition).  Beautiful diaper bag.  More baby clothing.  A diaper changing mat.  A car mirror!!!  Everything the new mamma and her baby needed.

These are examples of kindness that I love – when a whole community gets behind a mission.  Inspiring!

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $194.24

 

I consider it such an honor to be entrusted with the Kindness Activist funds, and am always on the lookout for new, creative, responsible and diverse ways to use them.  So, when I saw someone online asking if anyone had a juicer (she was looking for the exact same inexpensive but effective juicer we have), I knew it was a good fit!!

This was a simple gift – a quick act of kindness (order juicer, run to store to grab some oranges to go with it, and deliver to recipient).  These small acts of kindness go a long way to spread sunshine and happiness in the world!

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $35.01

 

That's the current report.  More news about how Kindness Activist funds are used coming soon.  Until then - may the holiday season find you healthy, feeling loved, and on the look-out for kindness.

Asking for Help

Asking for help is DIFFICULT.  Most of us struggle with admitting we need help, then being vulnerable enough to ask for it.  When was the last time you actually asked for help?  Not when someone voluntarily gave you help – “Here, your hands are full, let me get the door for you,” – but when you humbled yourself enough to ask for help.

I admire people who are strong enough to ask for help.  And if they put a specific ask into the universe, I am honored to have Kindness Activist funds to help meet their asks.  There have been three of those this week, so I will share them here. 

1.      A member of a Facebook group I belong to recently posted this:  “Does anybody have baby formula that can give it to me, because my babe doesn’t have any more formula.  “I really need some.  It doesn’t matter what formula it is, I just need some please.  Thank you!”

Isn’t that brave?  The past months have been filled with parents needing formula because of the shortages on the shelves.  But this mother needed formula period.  Any kind.  Just something to feed her baby.

Because of the generous people who shopped at the 2021 Kindness Yard Sale and those that gave donations, Kindness Activist had money to get this baby 3 cans of formula.  I like to imagine that baby gobbled some up and had a nice, tummy-filled rest.

 Kindness Activist money spent:  $81.96 

2.     We saw a family sitting on the ground behind their van in a very busy gas station parking lot.  It was a woman, man, 2 children, and one small infant.  The man held a sign saying that they needed gas. 

Now, I know that many people do not believe that people holding signs asking for things are being truthful.  And maybe sometimes they are not.  But I think it takes courage for this man and woman to sit out in the blazing son and ask for help.  Plus, they asked for gas, not money.  

I walked up to them and said I could get them some gas.  They all leapt into the van and the dad drove up to a gas pump.  “I can get you $50 worth of gas,” I said.  His face showed me that he was not certain what I said, so I clarified, “5 – 0”.  His eyes lit up.  $50 of gas would get him quite a ways!  As he pumped the gas (and very carefully watched the pump so that he would no go over and take advantage of the kindness being offered), I asked a bit about his story.  I could not understand the name of the country they had arrived from, but they came through Mexico to enter the US.  The children were 4, 2, and 2 months, and all were beautiful.  One little boy kept poking his head out of the driver’s window to see what was going on.  He said something, and the father translated for me, “He say he is very grateful and thank you”. 

The man showed me that he had a monitoring bracelet on his ankle.  “Immigration,” he explained.  “Difficult.”  Oh yes, so very difficult.  He said in the best English that he could that he moved his family here so they could all have a better life.  That working was hard, but when he got a green card it would all be worth it. 

         Welcome to America, sir.  I am sorry that I could not do more for you, but may               your family settle down in this country and thrive. 

Kindness Activist money spent:  $49.98 

3.     And finally for this accounting, a woman who I had left a note in the Little Yellow Free Pantry outside our home a few months ago asking for diapers one time texted today.  She said she and her son were at our door, but we didn’t seem to be home.  She needed diapers and wondered if we had any. 

Well, because of her courage in being willing to ask for help, and because of funds raised by Kindness Activist, I was able to order not only diapers to be sent directly to her, but also wipes, snacks, and toys for her children.  I wish I could be a fly on the wall and see her smile when the packages arrive on Monday. 

Kindness Activist money spent:  $88.53 

People like these, people willing to put themselves out there and ask for assistance, inspire me.  I wish more of us were willing to ask for what we need.  It’s not always a physical “thing” we need.  Maybe we wish our children would call us more often.  Maybe we would like a co-worker to go on a lunch time walk with us.  Maybe we need a bit of help setting up a new computer…  But we are too embarrassed to ASK for what we want/need.  I am going to try and take a lesson from the people I assisted recently and ASK FOR HELP.  What can it hurt, right?  I hope you, too, will be inspired and brave enough to ask for help when you need it.

Note:  photos in this piece are not my own, but stock photos.  They do not represent the actual people assisted.  

Freezer Kindness

It seems like the whole of the US has been having bad storms lately – tornadoes, thunderstorms, floods.  My area (metro Washington DC) has been no exception.  A big storm hit recently that caused lots of trees and branches to fall and electrical wires to be ripped down.  This, of course, meant loads of people (including us) lost power. 

When that happens, one tends to think of the “obvious” – things like, “It is super hot out, and now we have no AC…” or “The traffic lights are out, I hope there are no accidents,” or maybe the 1^st world issue, “No power??  How will I watch television?”.

But one thing I have never thought of when the power went out was, “OH NO, how will I ensure that all of this milk I pumped for my baby does not spoil??”.  I have never breastfed, so have never had to trouble shoot that problem.  But a neighbor, Jessica, ran into just that issue in the recent power outage.  I saw her post this message to the neighborhood Facebook group:

“To anyone who still has power, would you be willing to share some of your freezer space if the power isn’t back on by tomorrow? I have a sizable amount of frozen breastmilk for my newborn, and I’m worried about it thawing in the next 24 hours. Please let me know!”

At first, I was worried for her, but the replies started being posted very shortly after her plea, and it made my heart sing.  Neighbors were reaching out to HELP!!  Comments quickly popped up like, “If my power comes on first I will post here.  I have a deep freezer that I never use”.  And “I have power and can make some room, too”.  The coming together of community gave me goosebumps. 

I contacted Jessica and asked if it would be alright to share her story.  She said yes, and even told me a bit more about it.  Her baby was only 5 weeks old the afternoon they lost power, and look at what a cutie!!

I asked the mom of a newborn how long the power was out before she started to worry about the milk, and she said, “Frankly, I was concerned the minute it went out! Conventional wisdom says it should be fine for 24 hours if you don’t open the freezer, but as any mom who as breastfed can attest, every drop is so important. After about 6 hours with no power, I started to really worry”.

One of her co-workers offered to drop off ice that he’d picked up for his wife and their baby, but with no idea how long the power would be out, it wasn’t clear that solution would work, and Jessica didn’t want to drive to her friend’s house at 10 pm, so that’s when she turned to the neighborhood Facebook group.  She said, “I think I had responses within 5 minutes. At least 3 people offered up their freezers”.  Isn’t that terrific??

A sweet neighbor named Jesse stored the milk.  The power luckily our power came back on in the middle of the night, so the next day Jessica picked up the frozen milk and brought it back home. 

Jessica told me, “I feel a strong sense of community here and am very fortunate to live in a neighborhood where strangers help strangers!  I am so grateful to the people who responded, and it makes me even more likely to help out my neighbors any time I can. I was so stressed about the whole situation, and luckily that only lasted for a couple of hours thanks to the generosity of others.”

Kindness.  It doesn’t need to be elaborate.  It doesn’t need to be expensive.  It just needs to be heartfelt and genuine.  A little kindness can lighten the load of a neighbor, a friend, or a stranger.  Keep your eyes open and look for places YOU can spread some kindness today.