Rainy Day Fund Kindness

Like many of the Kindness Activists I come across, I found Chad Taylor's kindness on Facebook.  Sure, it is easy to see negativity, hatred, and trolls on Facebook, but if you look closely, you also see kindness.  I saw him post this message and I KNEW I needed to ask for more details:

“It's THAT time of year. I have some money set aside to help out some families who may have a hard time affording Christmas. It's not a lot. Not even as much as I had last year (times have been a bit hard here too), but it may help out two or three families. We all know of SOMEONE out there that's having a harder time than we are. 

If you know of a family that needs help, please send me a private message (no need blasting their business on here) and nominate them. Let me know why and how they need help. If I think they're a good fit, I'll find a way to get the money or whatever they need to you and YOU can be the bearer of good tidings. I'd prefer it if I was able to just help from the background.

I'm going to keep it open until Friday and I'll make my decisions then. If you have a little extra that you'd like to put toward the cause, please let me know that too. Last year I had 10 families nominated and could only help five. The more the merrier!”

Here is Chad, the instigator of the kindness!

Seriously, who does that?  I mean, ALL of us could.  Literally every single person reading this COULD save up a bit of money all year – maybe $10 a month or so – and use it during the holidays to make someone else’s life brighter.  But WHO DOES THAT?  Who is organized, dedicated, and most importantly KIND enough to set aside money that they themselves could use to pay bills, to make sure that when the holidays roll around, there will be enough saved to treat someone else?  CHAD TAYLOR, that’s who. 

And before you think to yourself, “Well sure, he probably has loads of money, it’s easy for people like that to splurge on others…” - that is wrong.  He is NOT a wealthy guy.  But, like he told me, “I’m pretty poor actually.  But there is always someone who has less.  As I’ve gotten older I have seen that December is a really hard month for a lot of people for A LOT of reasons. It’s only now that I have my own bills to pay that I realize what an impact even a small financial donation can have for a family that has nothing. That’s why I have to save all year for it.  $20 here and there can add up after a bit.” 

I saw back in 2015 that Chad made the same offer on Facebook, and I asked him about it at the time and then completely forgot to share it.  So now I am making sure that his message of kindness gets out there so that YOU can hear about it, be inspired, and start saving a bit every month yourself to prepare to help someone out in 2017.  Now is the perfect time to start getting ready for next year’s holiday season!

$20 here, $20 there = a terrific holiday season for strangers, thanks to Chad!

I asked Chad what gave him the idea to purposely save up to help others out every year, and here is what he said, “It started about 8 years ago. I had a few single mom friends who would have trouble affording Christmas for their kids. I’d take them to ToysRUs and make sure each of their kids would be able to have two individual gifts and a communal gift. It got to the point where I had to start saving for it.  Eventually their lives improved (not due to me) and they didn’t need help anymore.  So, four years ago, I took the money and started helping strangers with it instead. It was something small that I could do to make someone’s holiday a little easier. We all need help this time of year.”

Just reading about that makes me smile so big!  It is such a deliberate, purposeful, yearlong act of kindness.  He saves and saves all year long, and then when it is the right time, he shares.  He doesn’t have children, and feels that the gift portion of the holidays is really for the kids, so is happy to help them have presents to open.  I love it so much! 

Like all Kindness Activists I have talked to, Chad had a great kindness role model.  His was his dad.  Chad said, “The desire to share came from my dad. He grew up in a group home and since then has always made sure to help out people whenever he can. He made a donation to a group home this year of a lot of toys so each of the kids can have a Christmas, even though he didn’t really have the ability to do so.  It’s hard not to want to live up to that when you see it your entire life.”

I AGREE, and that is one of the basic premises of this entire Kindness Activist project – that when people see, hear about, or read about acts of KINDNESS (like Chad’s), they, too, will want to “live up to that” kindness and emulate it.   Not everyone has a kindness role model like your father, Chad, but YOU are a great example for many people of how to be kind! 

Now get this:  Chad told me that he, “only had $500 so wasn’t able to give as much as I wanted” to help people out this year.  The word ONLY does not belong with the amount $500.  $500 is a ton to save to give to strangers!!  This year he had 10 specific requests come in from his query, and for the first time one person pitched in $50 to add to what he had saved up for the cause.  Chad wondered,  “Maybe people WANT to help, but they don’t know how. I’ve never asked for donations to help feed the fund before, but every little bit helps.”  

Chad "only" saved up $500 to give to strangers this year.  $500!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The 10 requests he was given this year ranged from people without resources to provide their kids Christmas, to medial costs and burial expenses for a family member, to vet bills for a dog hit by a car.  Each of the 10 requests received something from Chad.  Isn’t that fantastic??  If you would like to join in the effort and help out one of the causes, that would be amazing.  You can make donations to 3 of the causes that he supported directly: 

·         https://www.gofundme.com/33isbds

·         https://www.gofundme.com/beaus-funeral-and-baby-fund

·         https://www.gofundme.com/kellys-save-my-home-fund

Chad is not looking for accolades for giving aid to these strangers, in fact, he makes the donations to the causes in the name of the person who recommended it, not in his own name.  I sought Chad out and had to add lots of “pretty pleases with cherries on top” to convince him to let me write about his awesomeness.  But I just think he is so inspirational, and I want more people to hear about his kindness.  He explained it well, “I think my main thing is that the focus is more on the act of giving than who is doing it. I’m a background guy, so having a spotlight put on something that I’m doing makes me a little anxious, BUT if it can inspire someone else to do the same thing than it makes it a little easier.  Finally I would probably just say this: the main thing I’ve learned from all of this is that giving shouldn’t always be an impulse decision. Just like we save up to buy a new toy or do something for ourselves, if we plan out our giving in advance, it makes things a bit easier to swallow. Most of us have a “rainy day” fund. Who’s to say that the rainy day it goes toward has to be our own?”

Chad, thank you for letting me share your story of kindness.  The concept of a “rainy day fund” to help OTHERS and not just ourselves is so brilliant.  My wish for this holiday season is that your kindness inspires others to plan ahead, save, and SHARE.  

Orlando Kindness

My heart has been heavy lately, thinking of the horrible events that took place at Pulse Nightclub in Orlando, Florida.  49 people were killed in an act of hatred, terrorism, and intolerance.  It was a senseless act that has caused a city, a state, the whole country to pause and take time to reflect and cry.  Like many things in America, especially in election cycles, it has also escalated political arguments about immigration and gun control. 

The purpose of this blog is not to share my personal beliefs on issues, except for my core belief of KINDNESS.  So we will let the debates that have arisen continue in other venues (with my voice being expressed loud and clear in those spaces) and let THIS SPACE be one that resonates KINDNESS.

Two beautifully kind Orlando events were shared with me today that I think shine a light on the spirit of love in that city.  My partner David has performed twice in the Orlando Fringe Festival, an annual theatre event that hosts performances from around the country.  Because we have been there for Fringe, we have made lasting friends that live in the area.  We think of them and all of those that are personally affected by this tragedy. 

The first kind Orlando action brought to my attention today are two groups working hard to ensure the funerals of Pulse victims are respectful and peaceful.  One group is Angel Action Wings for Orlando.  It consists of theatre people coming together to make sure that the funerals are not disturbed by hate groups. 

Angel Wings - full of love and peace, being modeled by Tyler Schank, Orlando performer

Modeling the back of the wings - Marlie Tollefson

Westboro Baptist Church, from Topeka, Kansas, is a “church” that appears to have hate as its core value.  They travel around the country to protest events like military funerals, concerts, etc, and have been given a permit to protest the funerals in Orlando.  But Angel Action Wings for Orlando has been busy planning, sewing, and organizing to make sure that the funeral in Orlando will be filled with love and respect instead of hate.  Patrons of the arts have donated fabric and volunteers have sewn very large angel wings (74” long and 36” wide).  Volunteers will work in shifts wearing these wings during the funeral services, using them to block out the hatred being demonstrated behind them.  Instead of hate, mourners going to the funerals will see love and peace.  THANK YOU, Angel Action Wings for Orlando.  Your kindness and warm spirits remind us that love prevails. 

These people MADE the wings.  Thank you!  (Names listed below)

Lindsay Taylor working on a set of angel wings

Human Chain Link for Pulse Funerals is another Orlando group working hard to make sure families and friends of Pulse victims can grieve in peace.  They recently had over 400 people show up with flags and signs of peace and love to block out any hatred at Orlando events.  They spread POSITIVE messages.  In this time of sadness and grieving, it is wonderful to see that some kind souls take action and do all they can to make the world a better place.

Love wins.  Human Chain Link for Pulse Funerals in action

Orlando KINDNESS

The other beautiful example of kindness came across on a friend’s Facebook page.  Christopher Levy is very active in the Orlando Theatre community (one of his jobs is Music Director of the Winter Park Playhouse).  He shared a poignant example of a Kindness Activist in action:

Chris

“I went to Office Depot this evening to pick up an ‪#‎OrlandoStrong banner for the Playhouse. It was going to be my contribution. When I went to pay, the woman behind me in line asked to pay for it. I said "Oh, thank you, but it's okay, this is my donation" and she insisted on paying. I broke down. I could barely get out anything beyond "thank you". We hugged. And I'm posting this because it's important that a) just when you think you're okay, you're not, and b) to counter all the stories of unfathomably heinous behaviour shown by some people, and show that there is still good in the world. Anne Frank was right.”

Such a simple yet amazing action by the woman in the store.  Her kindness inspired not only Chris, but the hundreds of people who have read the post and will hear the story.  THANK YOU, unknown woman at Office depot.  Your kindness makes a difference in the world. 

Chris with the sign at the theatre - THANK YOU kind woman in Office Depot!

Orlando, we are thinking of you, grieving with you.  #OrlandoStrong  #OrlandoUnited

Resources:

OneOrlando is a group that has been set up to provide support to victims and their families.  Please visit their site and donate if you are able:  https://www.oneorlando.org/

Angel Wings for Action has a long history of supporting funerals and events that are protested by hate groups.  They began after the founder,  Romaine Patterson, was shocked to see the hate filled neon signs of Westboro Baptist church at Matthew Shepard’s funeral.  Read about Angle Wings for Action here:  http://eatromaine.com/1/laramie-angels.html

The Orlando Playhouse will host a benefit event for victims on June 23, 2016.  Please see this article to learn more about it and attend if you can:  Winter Park Concert for One Orlando

Names of those pictured in the photo of angel wing makers:  Front-Piper Tollefson, Mollie Tollefson, Marlie Tollefson, Becca Haskins, Jeannie Marie Haskett Back-Shaina Tollefson, Simone Smith, Kristina Tollefson and Misha Tollefson   Not pictured: James Erwin and Delson Junker

Article on the Westboro protest, and the Angel Wing action:  Angels to Block WBC

Thanks to Jeannie Marie Haskett for photos

Victims of attack on Pulse Nightclub:

•  Stanley Almodovar III, 23 years old
• Amanda Alvear, 25 years old
• Oscar A Aracena-Montero, 26 years old
• Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33 years old
• Antonio Davon Brown, 29 years old
• Darryl Roman Burt II, 29 years old
• Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28 years old
• Juan Chevez-Martinez, 25 years old
• Luis Daniel Conde, 39 years old
• Cory James Connell, 21 years old
• Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25 years old
• Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32 years old
• Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez, 31 years old
• Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25 years old
• Mercedez Marisol Flores, 26 years old
• Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22 years old
• Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22 years old
• Paul Terrell Henry, 41 years old
• Frank Hernandez, 27 years old
• Miguel Angel Honorato, 30 years old
• Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40 years old
• Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19 years old
• Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30 years old
• Anthony Luis Laureanodisla, 25 years old
• Christopher Andrew Leinonen, 32 years old
• Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21 years old
• Brenda Lee Marquez McCool, 49 years old
• Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25 years old
• Kimberly Morris, 37 years old
• Akyra Monet Murray, 18 years old
• Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo, 20 years old
• Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25 years old
• Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36 years old
• Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32 years old
• Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35 years old
• Enrique L. Rios, Jr., 25 years old
• Jean C. Nives Rodriguez, 27 years old
• Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35 years old
• Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, 24 years old
• Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24 years old
• Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34 years old
• Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33 years old
• Martin Benitez Torres, 33 years old
• Jonathan Antonio Camuy Vega, 24 years old
• Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37 years old
• Luis S. Vielma, 22 years old
• Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez, 50 years old
• Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37 years old
• Jerald Arthur Wright, 31 years old

Waffle Kindness

The Bergman family (Michael, Sam, Amy, and Zach) live in the DC Metro area (as do we) and we run into them at a lot of theatre events.  It is always fun to see them, and I was particularly happy when I saw a Facebook post mentioning a very sweet gesture of kindness that their family shared.  I asked them if I could include it here and they agreed.

“Here's the story of our Waffle House encounter.

Anyone who has made a cross country drive will recognize this sign.

My family had spent the better part of a week at The Happiest Place on Earth (Walt Disney World) in Orlando, Florida. It takes a tremendous amount of work on the part of the employees (cast members, they’re called) to keep everything running smoothly and to keep all of the guests happy, especially when the parks are very crowded. 

This event happened on December 30^th, and the entire park had been turned into a huge dance party, which had the cast members in the streets, dancing with guest until past midnight, while they directed traffic to keep the huge crowds moving. I remarked to my family that while it certainly looked like the cast members were having a lot of fun, but were, after all, still on duty. It was after 1:00 AM by the time the fireworks were over and we left. 

My wife said that she was hungry, and since all of the restaurants on-site were closed by then, we drove to a Waffle House nearby. We walked in, and there were two Disney employees, still in their Magic Kingdom uniforms, having something to eat. I said to my wife, “I’d like to pick up their check."  She agreed, sharing the thought that our vacation would not be as fun, as engaging, were it not for the positive attitudes of the cast members, even in the face of cranky guests and long hours.

So we called over their waitress and told her not to make a big deal out of it, but to simply bring us their bill and tell them we were "sharing the magic."  When they signaled to the waitress that they wanted to leave, she told them that everything had been taken care of. They were surprised, to say the least. They came over to our table. “No one has ever done this before. You made our night. Thank you so much.”  We told them that this was just a small gesture to thank them for how much joy they brought to families at the park. There was lots of hugging and thanking all around. They wanted to take a picture with us, so we asked a waitress to take one for them and one for us. 

I love this photo - you cannot NOT smile when you see it.  

It’s such a simple thing really - to recognize the people who make our lives more fun, more interesting. It really took no effort on our part, and it made these two folks feel good about themselves and what they do.

And for a brief moment, a Waffle House just outside of Walt Disney World became The Happiest Place on Earth.

All members of our family have many more stories similar to this one, as we place a great value on being nice people. To quote Felix Unger, "It's nice to be nice to the nice". “

Thank you again for sharing Bergman family!!!  Your kindness most certainly makes the world a better place.  You are KINDNESS ACTIVISTS for sure (you will get kindness activist buttons soon!). 

What about YOU - have you been the recipient of kindness?  A giver of it?  Witnessed kindness?  Please take a moment to tell me about it so that I can share it here.  KINDNESS SHARED IS KINDNESS MULTIPLIED!  Send me your kindness at:  kindnessactivist@gmail.com