Christmas Shopping Kindness

You would think it would be EASY to give away kindness, wouldn’t you? 

But things aren’t always as easy as they should be…

Take tonight for example.!  My partner David and I were out running some errands, errands that included shopping.  It is December 23^rd, just 2 days before Christmas.  I knew that there would be some stressed-out, last-minute shoppers out there, and I decided I would treat them!  Here was the plan:

Find shoppers who were looking for gifts for OTHER PEOPLE, 
and treat them to a gift for THEMSELVES!  Easy, right??

 Only, I set a few rules that I had to follow…  The rules were:

1.  The shopper needed to be alone

2.  The shopper must have things in their cart/hands that looked like they were holiday shopping

3.  The shopper needed to be female (not to be sexist, but I decided I would feel more comfortable approaching a women with this offer, and also felt like women would be more accepting of it)

4.  The shopper must choose something for THEMSELVES, not for someone else

5.  The budget was $50

6.  The shopper must be wearing a mask, and wearing it properly

Rule number 6 proved to be the trickiest!  We are in Florida for the holidays, and Florida seems to be “the land where people think science is make-believe”, so many people choose not to wear masks.  And if they DO wear them, they are often down around their chin…  So yeah, rule number 6 made it hard to find potential shoppers to treat.

We tried this kindness experiment first in Bed, Bath, and Beyond.  I strolled the aisles for so long looking for someone who fit the bill to treat!  Why, I am sure I walked more in that store than most B, B, and B associates do in a day!  😊  I finally decided on a woman I had passed a few times.  She fit all of the criteria! 

As I approached, I asked if she was doing her Christmas shopping.  She confirmed that yes, that’s why she was in the store.  I then explained that I run a project called Kindness Activist, and I wanted to treat her to a Christmas gift of her choice.  Her budget was $50, and she could get whatever she wanted in the store, but it had to be for HER, not for someone else.

She was, understandably, a little startled.  She asked for the explanation again and I gave it to her.  She stammered about getting something for someone else, and I repeated that it must be for her, and that she deserved a holiday treat! 

Like most women, she seemed to be the type who thought of others before herself (again, an overgeneralization, but one I believe to be true).  The idea of splurging on herself so close to a holiday really threw her for a loop!  I suggested some things – a pillow, a blanket, kitchen ware…  But she was too surprised to think!  I told her I would look around the store a bit, then find her again and see if she had chosen anything.

So, I strolled a while, then came back to her.  She hadn’t chosen anything yet.  I explained that we needed to check out, and clarified, “Do YOU want anything??”.  She smiled from under her mask and stammered, “Yes!  Yes, I do!  I just don’t know what…”.  She was so sweet.  I showed her a really soft pillow with arms I had seen.  It was Ugg brand and very nice, and at $49.99 right at budget.  She looked it over and said YES, yes, this was the treat for her.  It was something a bit extravagant that she was probably not likely to splurge on, and it matched her décor, too.

The winning item - nice and soft!

That sealed the deal!  We checked out, stapled the gift receipt to her pillow, and put it in her cart so she could finish her shopping.  She was a sweet woman and very appreciative.

We tried the experiment again at WalMart but were not as lucky.  Very, very few people met the mask requirement, and one who did was on a never-ending phone call (and another that I asked said she was not Christmas shopping).

Which leads us to the here and now.  If a stranger approached YOU 2 days before Christmas and gave you a $50 budget to buy a treat for yourself, would you be open enough to accept it?  If so, what would your treat be?

Kindness funds spent - $53.24

WHIRLWIND

 What a magical world we live in.

 The last couple of days have been a whirlwind. 

 I spoke with a producer of the CBS news segment “On the Road” with Steve Hartman.  She had reached out right after the Kindness Yard Sale asking if I might be willing to talk with her about doing a piece about the sale.  I put off replying because I was exhausted, but finally sat down to talk with her and after that everything was like a single snowflake that rolled and rolled into an avalanche in the span of 2 days.  Not only did they want to DO a piece, they wanted to do it in 2 days!  And they wanted me to do a “big act of kindness that they could film”.

It was an awkward position to be put in…  I wanted to do the story – it would bring more attention to kindness and perhaps bring in support for Kindness Activist.  But most of the kind acts I do with the project happen ORGANICALLY.  They are not forced and usually not PLANNED.  But I brainstormed to come up with ideas…

After I rejected all of my own ideas, David came up with a brilliant one:  PUT QUARTERS IN THE LAUNDRY MACHINES AT THE LOCAL LAUNDROMAT!  I.  Loved.  It!!!  Of course, I embellished it…  Buy laundry detergent, maybe cupcakes, and show up at the laundromat and declare loudly it was FREE LAUNDRY DAY!!!  Then stay a couple of hours chatting, dancing around, and eating cupcakes with people while their clothes washed.

And then I thought of a back-up plan:  buy grocery store gift cards and floral bouquets.  Board buses as they stopped near our home and present the presents to bus drivers to THANK THEM for being so magnificent and driving all through Covid.

I was really pleased with both ideas.

But the producer of the show was not…

So, I worked to think of yet ANOTHER idea….  I saw a blurb on Facebook for a local high school asking for donations of homecoming dresses.  Hmmm…  Wheels turning…  What if I could take a student SHOPPING for a homecoming outfit!!??  Wouldn’t that be fun?  I mean, I am ALL FOR used clothing (go Goodwill!!!), but everybody deserves a new outfit once in a while, too.

After much angst and worry, I was finally hooked up with the name of a student whose parent was willing to let them be picked up from school by a stranger and filmed for national tv… 

In fact, I almost had TWO students!  I was working super hard to get SOMETHING they could film, and just about got a student from two different sources.  In the end, one backed out due to shyness (and their parent not being thrilled about them missing some school).

This all sounds like a whirlwind, right????

But that is only the whirl, not the wind.

While this was all happening, I was sicker than I have been in a couple of years.  The world was spinnnning and I had shivers and was afraid I had, you know, Covid.  (Not to worry, 2 tests came back negative!)

I got a flat tire and had to leave my car in the Trader Joe’s parking lot overnight.

And a refugee family from Afghanistan moved into our basement apartment and will live with us for a month.

Eeerrrrr – rewind.

What?

Yes, you read that right.  We have 5 new people living in our home.

And I couldn’t be happier.

I am so honored to host these guests.  It is a mother, father, adult son, adult daughter, and young daughter from Kabul.  They got out recently and we were lucky to end up being their hosts.  I am so grateful for this opportunity.

So back to the tv filming.  The producer, host, and a cameraman arrived at our house early this morning.  I had warned our new guests that this was going to take place – the father joked that he might be in the background on American television.  😊 

But at the same time as I was prepping for the interview (how much did year one of the Kindness Yard Sale bring in??  What kind acts have we done???) – we were trying to help our new friends enroll their beautiful 8- year-old daughter in school and make sure they have the supplies they need.  To say the candle was burning at both ends is putting it mildly. 

During a quick break in “hand modeling” filming, I peeked in our backyard and saw the most beautiful sight I have seen in a very, very long time.  David, Steve (the star of the show), and the father of the Afghan family were sitting outside playing a card game.  A card game that the man from Afghanistan was teaching the 2 American men.  It was the most genuine cultural exchange that I have witnessed in oh so long.  What an HONOR, what a GIFT.  To share a game from your homeland is to share a treasure.  I quickly snuck this photo and realized that if nothing else came of the day, THIS MOMENT was enough to have witnessed.

 After a full morning of filming and answering questions at our home, it was time to PICK UP THE STUDENT I HAD NEVER MET at her high school.  I was a bit nervous, but also excited!  I wasn’t so much excited about the filming of it all, but the chance to meet a new person and take her shopping!!  It was funny – we had a Go-Pro camera attached to the passenger side window of the car as we drove to the mall, and before we had driven one block, I messed it up by raising the window.  Oops!

I won’t spoil the news about the filming and the show here.  But I will say that I feel like the student and I made a genuine connection, and that I hope she keeps in touch with me.  I had such a fabulous time talking with her, giggling, and shopping.  Once the tv crew left we set about really shopping!!  She was the perfect person to treat to a Homecoming outfit (and more).  She was humble, kind, grateful, and wise.  I would love to hang out with her again (and look forward to seeing her looking gorgeous in her homecoming photos!).

So yeah, what a strange magical world we live in. 

Aren’t we all so very lucky?

Kindness Yard Sale funds spent:

Many toiletries, supplies, beds, and bedding for family that just moved to America – $356.81

Dress, shoes, bra, necklace, purse, necklace, earrings, nails, and nail polish for Homecoming outfit – $165.63

Toy and card for new nephew in Guatemala that my new friend I took shopping has not met yet – $34.96

Gift certificate and card for very hardworking mom of new friend I took shopping – $30.96

Gift certificate for girl who couldn’t go on the televised shopping adventure today – $100

Honor of being involved in a day like today - PRICELESS

P.S. – please tune in to CBS Evening News to see the story about the Kindness Yard Sale.  It will air this Friday, October 8^th at 6:30 PM Eastern.