Flip Top Cans

I have been out of town for a few days and away from my computer.  I THOUGHT I knew what I wanted to sit down and write about this evening now that I am home.  But then I met someone at the Little Yellow Free Pantry who inspired me to tell you something else tonight, something more important. 

There is a meme that has been circulating for a couple years talking about what you “should and shouldn’t” donate to food pantries.  To be honest, it has always bothered me.  One of the things it emphasizes is that you “must” give canned goods that have flip-tops, because “what good is a can of food if the person cannot open it?”.

That premise bothers me.  I had a hard time putting my finger on WHY, but I think it is because it dehumanizes people experiencing food insecurity.  It assumes that they all live on the streets, or in tents, or other places with no access to can openers, let alone kitchens.  But the reality is – many, many people who are food insecure have housing.  They have jobs.  They have kitchens.  They just do not have enough food.  If they can get help in securing food, they can survive and often thrive.

 

But some of the guests who come to the Little Yellow Free Pantry are experiencing homelessness.  They do not have access to refrigerators or stoves or, like the meme infers, they don’t even have access to can openers.  And they are the reason that we always try to have can openers in stock, so that when we see a need, we can hand one out.

 

Tonight when we got home, I filled up the pantry.  Some amazing volunteers filled it while we were away, but it felt good to be back to select the items to put in and to set them carefully on the shelves.  Guests started coming as soon as it was filled, and at one point I was stepping out onto the back porch so that I could pop out to the pantry to see what had been taken and needed to be replaced.

 

A guest saw me under the light of the porch and said hello.  I walked over to greet them and ask if there was enough food inside.

 

“Oh, yes ma’am, there is food in here,” they assured me politely.

 

I didn’t think I had met this person before (but I admittedly have a bad memory).  I asked if there was anything special they would like or needed.

 

“Oh, oh no.  There is food here.  I will take some of this,” they said sweetly, sounding like so many others who come for help – thankful and not wanting to be a bother.  “It’s just…  It needs to have a flip top.”

 

Ahhhhhhhhh. 

 

The flip top.

 

That short sentence – it needs to have a flip top – says so much, doesn’t it?  It says, basically, I am hungry.  I do not have food.  I likely do not have housing.  And, of course, I do not have a can opener.

 

Oh, how I wished I could pop downstairs to the storage area and bring up a can opener like I normally do, but I had given away the last one a week ago.  But I convinced the guest to stay while I ran down and brought up some other items for them to choose from.  I brought up:  pre-cooked cups of rice that can be eaten cold or heated, pre-cooked pasta and pre-cooked meatballs and sauce that come in pouches, a cup of soup that is ready to heat and eat (or eat cold).  Toothpaste and a toothbrush.  A Pop-Tart. Spam.  Tuna.  Fruit cocktail.  Peas – all cans with flip tops.  And a few other items for them to look over.

 

I was happy to see that they had waited for me.  They took a few things (the pre-cooked rice and meatballs were new to them and I think they were excited to try them). 

 

“That is plenty, ma’am.  I do not want to take too much.”

 

I ran inside to grab them a bag since their backpack was already heavy and full. 

 

When I went back outside with the bag, they asked my name.  I told them, and they told me theirs.  The explained that they had just spent their money to go visit their birth state (I am guessing family) and things were very tight right now.

 

“I am re-joining the military,” they said.

 

“Ahhhh, this is a scary time to be doing that…” I said out-loud what I probably should have kept to myself.

 

“Yes ma’am, but it is necessary,” they told me.

 

I looked them in the eyes and said, “Come back anytime.  You are welcome here.  And THANKS.  Thank you for being willing to serve our country”.

 

And just like that, they walked off into the night. 

 

Thank you for the reminder, kind stranger, that flip tops are important for some.  And the reminder that we need more can openers. 

 

Because given the choice of singling people out for needing flip tops, or equaling the playing field even a tiny bit by making sure those who need them get can openers, I choose the can openers every time.

 

And to whoever raised this child:  I wish I could meet you.  I wish I could tell you that you did a good job.  Your child is kind and polite and caring.  They are careful to share with others.  They are working hard to find their path.

 

They are well.

 

And if we can help them even in the slightest, we will. 

 

Because whether it is a flip top can, a can opener, or a genuine conversation, we will give what we can. 

 

Thank you for the reminder, solider.  Thank you for your service.

 

 

If you are able to help us keep the Little Yellow Free Pantry (based in South Arlington, Virginia) filled, currently most needed are:

-          Manual can openers of any sort (we are out)

-          Heat and eat soup in cups (like Campbell’s Chunky Bowls or Sipping Cups) (we have 4 left)

-          Cans of ravioli or spaghetti and meatballs (those also do not need to be cooked) (almost out)

-          Gatorade (any flavor/size) (almost out)

-          Chef Boyardee cups of heat and eat pasta dishes (we are out of these)

-          Cans of Vienna Sausages (we are out)

-          Cans of salmon

-          Cans of corned beef

-          Flip top cans of corn

-          Pre-cooked pasta in pouches

-          Canned tomatoes of any kind

-          Canned potatoes of any kind

 

This is our Amazon wish list, items ordered here ship directly to us:  

 Little Yellow Free Pantry Wish List

If you prefer to shop somewhere else and need a shipping address, please email us at:  KindnessActivist@gmail.com .

If you are local to the DC metro and can help out, there is a tan and green plastic bin on our front porch next to the door.  Please drop any donations there instead of directly into the pantry.  They are then brought inside, stored, and put into the pantry as needed.  This system helps us “spread the love” to many guests.  Email us at KindnessActivist@gmail.com if you need the address for drop-off.

 

THANK YOU.  Kindness Activist is a registered 501C3 non-profit organization.

A Shift In Perspective

I’m not gonna lie, sometimes working on the Little Yellow Free Pantry is exhausting.

Each time I fill it up requires 2 trips outside – first to check and see what is needed.  Then back inside, downstairs, fill the basket with necessary items, back upstairs, and outside again to put the items inside the pantry.

And sometimes…  Sometimes when I turn the corner on the sidewalk with my full basket, heading back to the pantry, I see a guest standing there.

And sometimes…

Sometimes instead of thinking, “Oh good!  A guest!  I will get to chat and give food directly to them!”, sometimes…  When I am tired or maybe cranky.  When I am rushed or stressed.  Sometimes I think the opposite…

“Ugh – a guest.  That means they may take most of what is in my basket.  Which means ANOTHER trip downstairs for me.  Fill the basket AGAIN.  Go outside AGAIN…”.

Sometimes I don’t see the guest as an opportunity for kindness, but as a burden on my time.

I admit that.  I dislike that I have that reaction sometimes, but I am being honest here – I DO feel that way sometimes.

As I did today.

I was taking a quick half hour lunch break from work.  Before I made something to eat, I popped out to the pantry to take stock of what was needed.  I made a mental list and headed down to the storage shelves.  I packed the basket nice and heavy and went back outside.

Turned the corner.

A guest.

My mind didn’t immediately snap to kindness mode.

It went to “burden mode”.

But I walked up and said hello to the guest anyway.

And item by item I offered them what I had just brought out. 

They smiled.  Said yes to many things, no to a few things.  We got into a rhythm – hold up item, say what it is, yes or no, put in bag or pantry.  Over and over and over.

“Oh yes!” to tuna.

“Yes please,” to cereal.

“Yes – for the children,” to ravioli.

“YESSSS!  OH YES PLEASE!” to a tube of toothpaste.

And in the end – a small candy bar.  “This is for YOU.  Not for children,” I said and smiled.

My mindset changed. 

This was not a burden. 

This was an opportunity.

An opportunity for engagement.  For interaction.  For COMMUNITY.

For kindness.

When we had gone through the basket the guest smiled and said, “I am so lucky today!!”.

Yes. 

You and me both.  So lucky today.

We stood in the sunshine.  We breathed in the fresh air.  We exchanged canned goods and smiles. 

Another day.  More luck.

Sometimes all it takes is a slight shift in perspective.

Holidays Are For Everyone

In this season of plenty, this time of excess – lights, music, cookies, candy, wrapping paper, bows, turkeys…

It is easy to forget that there are some who have nothing.

And for them, instead of a season of joy and song, this season is one of cold. 

It’s easy to forget them.  And for some, sometimes easier to ignore them. 

Because acknowledging them means acknowledging the inequity in our country.  The sad reality that some have much, and some have none. 

We live in the 7^th wealthiest county in America, Arlington, Virginia.  The average median income here is $132,380.

Yet, there are people who come to the Little Yellow Free Pantry outside our home 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 

Some of our visitors have housing.  They may rent an apartment for their family.  Perhaps they are working 2, maybe 3 jobs.  But still that is not enough income to pay the rent, the utilities, the gas, and put food on the table.

Some of our visitors rent a room in a house.  They have a bed, a bathroom, but no access to a kitchen, only a small fridge, microwave, or hotplate in the room.

Some of our guests live in their cars.  One lives in his van – lost his home in a fire and had no insurance.  With these people, we see the back seats filled with all of their belongings – coat, pillow, food, toilet paper.

And some of our guests have no indoor place to call home.  They live in the woods, on the street, in a bus stop, in a store front after the business closes for the night.

It is COLD these days.  Tonight the low is 36 degrees, tomorrow 32.  Some people go into the shelter for the night but others brave the weather and stay outdoors.

During these cold spells, sometimes I quietly complain about having to go out and put food in the pantry.  On days it is raining, or the steps are icy, I sometimes get cranky.  Then I think, “Susan, you will be outside in the freezing weather for 5 minutes.  The people who need this food may be out in it all night.  Get to work”.

One of our guests is a very mild mannered, quiet, polite person who is experiencing homelessness.  They immigrated to America, and I am quite certain that living on the street is not what they imagined when they dreamed of a new life here.  They come for food and if I see them, I make sure to go out and talk and make a special bag for them.  You see, they collect food not only for themselves, but for another person who does not have housing and lives outdoors but is not healthy enough to come to the pantry. 

Yesterday when they came I noticed they had no gloves, no mittens.  “Your hands are cold!  Do you have mittens?” I asked.  “No ma’am, I do not,” they told me.

I had just given them a holiday gift – one for them and one for their friend.  And inside it – gloves.  They didn’t know it yet, but they had gloves…

You see, last month I begrudgingly took on a project.  I didn’t want to do it, just like sometimes I do not want to brave the cold to fill up the pantry.  But someone from a local synagogue reached out and asked if there was something they could do to help Kindness Activist.  They wanted to do a mitzvah.  But they had specific parameters and if it was to happen, it would be me who would have to organize it.

Only, I was in the midst of the Santa Project.  And the advent/countdown calendar.  And work.  And the usual tasks of life like paying bills and replying to emails.  And I didn’t think I could add another thing to my already full plate.

But I took a step back and looked at it all.  Here was a group of people who really wanted to help, they just needed a prompt, a mission.  Like so many, they wanted to get involved and give back but they weren’t sure how to do it.

So, I set about planning.

I decided that gifts for people experiencing homelessness would be perfect.  And not just any gift.  At the holidays many people are generous and hand out food or stocking hats or socks to people who are homeless.  But no – these needed to be PROPER PRESENTS.  Respectful gifts.  Gifts that would be useful but also acknowledge the recipient’s humanity, not just their need.

I asked the person from the synagogue if they would be willing to wrap the gifts.  Kindness Activist would supply everything – wrapping paper, boxes, tape, presents – they simply needed to provide the effort (and the scissors).

On December 15^th they set to work making gift bags for 20 people.  In the bags are:

A stocking hat

A flashlight

Extra batteries

Lip balm

Beef jerky

A Starbucks canned drink

A deck of cards

Nail clippers

Tic Tacs

A chocolate bar

A pair of socks

Hand warmers

A pen

A notebook

A bag of Hershey kisses

And a holiday note or drawing from a local child

The volunteers wrapped each of the items so that the people who got them would have lots to open.  They lovingly put them into big, beautiful bags. 

And this week I got to hand out the first 2. 

The person was happy to receive them.  They didn’t have any idea what was inside and used the pretty bags to carry all of the other groceries they got – soup, meat, fruit, drinks, cookies.  I like to imagine what they must have thought when they got back to their spot and took a peek inside.  Did they open all of the gifts at once?  Did they savor them and open one per day? 

We have 18 more bags to hand out today and tomorrow.  I know one goes to the person who has no housing who comes to the pantry and I make coffee for – no sugar, just milk.  Last time they came they, like the other guest, had no mittens or gloves.  But in the freezing cold we saw that their hands were covered in nylon men’s socks.  Those could not provide much warmth but they are better than hands exposed to the frigid air.  It is not easy holding a piping hot cup of coffee and a cup of hot soup with socks on your hands, but they managed.

I am grateful.  Grateful for my home and my pillow and my running water and my mittens.

And I am embarrassed.  Ashamed to have so much when some have so little.

So I will share these gifts.  I will spread a message of happy holidays. 

And I will hope for better days ahead for these friends.

Special thank you to Congregation Etz Hayem for reaching out, wrapping many gifts, and helping make the holiday season a bit more bright for some members of our community.  And special thanks to the children who made artwork to be included in the packages.

Kindness Activist funds used:  $320.75 ($16.04 per gift)

The reminder that we all deserve joy and a little gift: priceless

If You Build It...

When we first opened the Little Yellow Free Pantry in 2021, I was worried.  Worried that we would not get enough visitors.

And the first few days, my worries were well founded.  A few people stopped by, but not many.

So, I made signs – printed them in multiple languages – and hung them in very visible locations on our fence so people walking and driving by our busy corner would see them.

We got a few more guests coming for food, but not many.

So, I made and laminated signs in English and Spanish and hung them at nearby bus stops.  I tried to hang one at the Department of Human Services office down the street, but a guard took it down.

And some more people came, but not many.

So – I had a grand idea.  I went to the Arlington Food Assistance Center (AFAC) to talk to the professionals!!  I had never been there, but just pulled up and talked to the first person I saw with a nametag standing outside the building.

I explained my “predicament” – that we had opened a Little Free Food Pantry, but we needed VISITORS!!  I floated the idea past him of perhaps advertising somehow at AFAC.

The man looked at me incredulously.  “Ma’am,” he said, “Do you know how many people we serve here??  You do not want to advertise (unspoken but clear in his inflection – “your little tiny operation”) at AFAC”.

Well ok then.  I drove back home and did a bit of research on AFAC.  If you Google the organization today, here is what you see as their stats for 2023:

·       140,635 total family visits – a 29.4% increase over last year

·       7,634 total families referred (18,942 individuals)

·       6,586 distinct families served (16,003 individuals)

·       5,375 children served

·       Average 2,712 families served per week

·       Of individuals served: 56% female, 33.6% children,12.8% senior, 52.5% Hispanic/Latinx, 19.9% Black,8.9% Asian, 11.7% White, 1.3% Other

·       Individuals with disabilities: 8.5% overall; 25% of seniors, 2.9% of children*

So, ummm, yeah, perhaps advertising at AFAC was not the right way to go…

Fast forward 3 years. 

The Little Yellow Free Pantry has pleeeeenty of guests!!!  In fact, sometimes the number of visitors, the back and forth from the storage shelves to the pantry to refill it over and over, and the amount of food required to keep the operation running is overwhelming.  But it is overwhelming in a good way, if that makes sense.

Well, last night I took it full circle.  I was asked to go with members of the Arlington Rotary Club to volunteer at AFAC!!  I was so excited!  I would get to see it “behind the scenes” and help in preparing food for the community.

Our volunteer job for the evening was taking large 50-pound bags of white rice and breaking them down into smaller bags, sealing those, and stacking them in crates.  A group of 11 volunteers worked for 1 hour, and in that time, we made 620 bags of right to be given to AFAC clients.  Isn’t that awesome?  And it was fun!!

(Though, I must confess, as we were scooping rice into bags, sealing them, stacking them – in the back of my mind I thought, “Susan, THIS SAME TASK IS WAITING TO BE DONE AT YOUR HOUSE!  The LYFP is out of small bags of rice and you need to decant the huge bags into smaller ones!  You should be doing this for your pantry, too!”.  And, as soon as I came home, I messaged the friend who did “rice duty” for the LYFP last time and asked if she could come do it again soon (she can!). And trust me, the bags of rice we are dealing with for our tiny pantry are NOT 50 lbs each 😊 .)

I was so happy to get to visit and help out at AFAC.  And, I must confess, equally happy to come home to our muuuuch smaller, scaled-down version of community food distribution. 

Because everybody deserves good food.

*Note: I wish that I could share statistics as extensive as AFAC’s to demonstrate the population that relies on the Little Yellow Free Pantry.  I wish I could tell you the number of people, how many families, children, people with disabilities, etc. come get food.  But here’s the thing: there are no rules or requirements to use the Little Yellow Free Pantry.  You don’t need to register.  You don’t need to show papers.  And you are not “checked in” when you visit.  It is private, anonymous (except for the guests I have become friends with), and open 24/7.  Sadly, that makes it impossible to track the statistical impact.  But I will tell you this: 100% of the guests of the Little Yellow Free Pantry are GRATEFUL.  That may be the only statistic we can “track”, but it is good enough for me. 

If you would like to help stock the LYFP, we these are the current urgent needs:

-         Single serving boxes/bowls of cereal, any flavors (we are totally out)

-         Spaghetti-Os or canned ravioli (we are totally out)

-         Packets of Indian vegetarian meals (we are totally out)

-         Microwave popcorn (we have 2 single serving bags left and will be out by morning)

-         Honey (a pantry staple, we have only 3 bottles left)

-         Almond milk (almost out)

-         Jelly, any flavor (running low)

-         Single serving packs of oatmeal

-         Single serving drinks of any kind (except water and milk (we have enough of those for now) or soda) – like Capri Suns, juice boxes/bottles, coconut water (we are out), cans of lemonade, V8 blends, cans of iced tea, etc.

-         Canned items that are not vegetables or fruit – things like evaporated milk, peppers, olives, bamboo shoots, salsa, Rotel, etc.

-         Single serving cups of ravioli (2 left)

 If you are local to the metro DC area, there is a tan and green plastic bin on our front porch in South Arlington for donations.  Please put items there and not directly into the pantry.  Message me for the address if you need it.  If you would like to order from the Amazon wish list, here is a link.  You can click on “sort” then “high to low” to see the items most needed on top.  Click here for the Kindness Activist Wish List

 

 

 

 

 

 

All Are Welcome

I was thinking about what to name this story…  Several possibilities popped into my head:

“Two Worlds Colliding”

“Coming In, Going Out”

And others in that same vein.  The concept being – opposite things happening simultaneously.

But the more I considered it, I realized that my framework for the story was entirely off.  It was not opposites.  Nothing “collided”.  Instead, it is a story of coexistence.  Of humanity, and how we are all alike and all are welcome.

So that is what it shall be called.  “All Are Welcome”.

Now the story.

Yesterday Kindness Activist hosted a very fun event – June Bug’s Hot Cocoa Stand.  It was a fund raiser and the brainchild of a lovely neighbor and friend, five-year-old June Bug.  Wait, she is precisely 5 ½, because, as she told me with a gleam in her eyes when she arrived to prepare for the big event, “Kindness Susan!  Today is my half birthday!!”.

June Bug conceived of this grand idea while volunteering one afternoon with her mamma.  As they worked to seal packets of rice, little June Bug hatched her plan.  A HOT COCOA STAND.

It all happened yesterday and it was so fun.  Many, many people came – including lots of June Bug’s family, friends, and classmates.  The sun shone.  The cocoa flowed.  The toppings and cookies were plentiful.  The fire pit crackled and s’mores and marshmallows were enjoyed.

We started at 2:00 pm, and about an hour into the festivities I saw a man waiting at the corner for the light to change to cross the street.  I recognized him as a pantry guest.  I rushed to talked to him before he crossed and let him know that today was a special day and we were serving hot chocolate.  “Would you like some?” I asked.  Well, the smile was enough of an answer, followed by, “Hot chocolate?  Well yeah!!!”.  I brought him over to the stand and grabbed him a cup.  I gave the server, June Bug’s grandma, a little look that I think she understood – this one is on the house.  I took him to the topping bar, got him some cookies, and left him to enjoy his treats.

When I saw him next his cup was empty and the cookies were gone.  He politely asked, “May I have another cup?”.  Well sure!  Seconds on hot chocolate, seconds on cookies. 

He stayed for quite a long time.  I think he chatted with a few people.  At one point I saw him sitting on the sidewalk, taking in the sunshine, his legs stretched out in front of him.  And I remembered – this was the Pantry guest that happened to walk by a year ago during the 2^nd birthday party we hosted for the Little Yellow Free Pantry.  We invited him to join in the fun that day, too, and he happily came under the canopy we had set up to try and keep us dry from the rain.  He ate snacks, drank drinks, and chatted that day, too.

The “completed-ness” of the situation made my heart happy.  Here were guests coming to support June Bug and Kindness Activist, pitching in far more than a cup of cocoa was actually worth.  Donating for the CAUSE – spreading kindness.

And here was a man who is a recipient of that very kindness when he stops by the pantry a few times a week.  He likely spends much of his time alone.  I have never seen him with anyone, and I doubt he gets invited to places or parties. 

And there we were.  All together.  All enjoying the weather and the conversation and the cocoa.

Because when you think about it, we are all the same.

And ALL ARE WELCOME.

 

P.S. – As I was sitting down to write tonight, our doorbell rang.  That is not uncommon around here, but it was getting a bit late.  I answered the door and found a man on the porch, another pantry guest.  He is very sweet – I often heat up meals for him.  I assumed that is what he was stopping by for tonight, though I don’t think he has ever rang the bell before.  I noticed right away that he was sporting a warm stocking cap he had picked up from Project Warmth.  We don’t share a common language, so the conversations between us are rudimentary.  I pointed to his warm hat, smiled, and said, “Nice!  Good!”.  He smiled back and pointed to Project Warmth, showing me where he had gotten it.  “Today – no,” he said, touching his head, explaining that before he picked that hat up, he didn’t have one.  Then he turned my attention to something sitting at the foot of our sidewalk.  “TV??” he asked.  “Oh, no,” I tried to explain, “Not mine.  No.”  He smiled and said, “No!  Me!  Find.  TV?”.  I could tell it was a computer monitor, but thought I should come out and check it anyway.  We walked down the steps and I examined it.  “No,” I said, using the snapping fingers “rats” gesture, “Computer.”

He smiled.  He had hoped that the treasure he must’ve found on the side of the road was a television.  He had no need for a monitor.  “You want?” he asked politely.  So kind – sharing his finds.  “No thank you.  Have,” I explained. 

I offered dinner, he said today he had eaten.  We said good night.  He got back on his old bike, picked up the monitor, and road off into the darkness.

He had just stopped by for a little tech support.  Because he knows, all are welcome.

Mysterious, Generous, Beautiful Kindness

Kindness Activist learned of a death in the “family” today. 

I am sorry to share that the beloved, magical, and mysterious E.A. Raven has died.

E.A. Raven was what could be called the “patron saint” of Kindness Activist.  She contributed so much over the last 10 months.

And yet – she remained a mystery. 

We never met.  I was never sure how she had found out about our work. 

But she was one of the most enthusiastic supporters ever.

I think it all started in December of 2022.  The annual Santa Project was underway – an event that invites children to write and mail letters to the North Pole right from our house in South Arlington, Virginia.  In 2022, 229 letters were written to Santa.  And each and every one of those children who wrote received a personal letter from Santa and at least one gift that they had asked for (most kids got 2 or 3 things).

The Santa Project is a herculean task, and last year I harnessed the power of the people and ASKED FOR HELP.  I made an Amazon wish list with things the letter writers were asking for and shared the link to the list.

That’s when the magic started.

Packages started arriving with Amazon notes signed “E.A. Raven”.  And not just one package, no, the mystery donor granted wish after wish after wish.  I was astounded and oh so thankful.

But the deliveries didn’t stop after Christmas was over.  Instead, they became even more frequent…  E.A. Raven would send food and toiletries to help stock the Little Yellow Free Pantry, a pantry outside our home that helps neighbors experiencing food insecurity make ends meet.  E.A. Raven followed the wish list for the Little Yellow Pantry and sent so, so, so many wonderful things.

One thing I loved about her gifts for the pantry is that she was not judgmental in the least.  Many people who donate food wouldn’t think to donate something “extravagant” like jelly or cake frosting or cookies.  But E.A. Raven and I agreed – everybody deserves good food, and that includes a treat now and then.  Food pantries shouldn’t be just cans of tuna and green beans.

She and I developed a friendship, I like to think.  A friendship, even though we never met. 

And even though I didn’t know who this beautiful human was. 

I don’t know how she found out about Kindness Activist.  Maybe she saw the story on CBS News?  Maybe she read a piece in the Washington Post?  However she heard about our mission, she was 100% on board and supported our work with a passion.

I didn’t have any way to communicate with E.A. Raven.  Well, no way except to scan the codes on the Amazon gift notes included in the boxes and write her thank you notes.  I loved writing them.  I would thank her for whatever she sent, then sometimes tell her about the weather we were having.  Remind her how grateful we were for her donations.  Sometimes my messages were too long (there is a character limit to Amazon thank you s) and I would have to write “cont” on one and write more on the next note. 

I tried to get some details from her, to solve the mystery.  I wanted to send her a Kind Is Cool t-shirt – asked her size and where to send it.  No reply. 

 

I must confess that my friends and I were a bit obsessed about this stranger.  We fantasized about who this wonderful woman must be.  At first, we thought she was using a nom de plume – after all – E. A. Raven sounds a bit like Edgar Allen (Poe), author of The Raven…

 

I resorted to Googling her.  I found a Facebook page that I thought was hers that was meant to showcase her writing, but it was closed.  Still, I sent a message.  No response. 

 

I found some information online about a person who I thought was her…  Perhaps this was her – a woman who held a patent…

 

But really, the mystery was part of the allure.  Not knowing who she was somehow made the boxes and boxes and boxes that arrived full of donations even more special.

 

A few months ago, one of the notes included with a donation explained that she was going to be in the hospital having a procedure done.  I was worried, as were the members of the Pantry Crew.  We wanted to send her flowers and a get well card.  I asked again for her address in a thank you, no reply.

 

She didn’t send any donations for about a month after the surgery.  We were nervous – was she ok??? 

 

Because you see, it was not the donations we were missing.  It was our friend.  Our far away, never before seen, mysterious magical friend.

 

She sent a few more things.  She included a sweet note that said she was in rehab now and it was difficult to order off Amazon using her phone.  I wished on a star for her to get well.

 

Today I got an email from another stranger, E.A. Raven’s sister.  She broke the news: “My sister Betty Raven loved donating items to your charity.  Sadly, she passed a week ago.  I wanted to inform you so that you understand why she stopped donating.”

 

I cried.  Cried for a woman I had never met but was so very thankful for.  I asked her sister when the memorial service would be because I hoped I could take time to go and honor her.  Sadly, the services have already happened.  And strangely, she died on Mary Day, the anniversary of my mom’s death in 2002.

 

Her sister sent a link to the obituary.  It was not until her death that I found out exactly who E.A. Raven was.  And boy oh boy, was she a powerhouse.  She paved the way for women who followed in her footsteps.  I wish I could have met her.  I think we would’ve gotten along swimmingly.

 

Rest in peace, E.A. Raven.  You brightened our lives with your mystery.  You made us smile with your sweet notes.  You taught us that we can be friends with those we have never met.  You fed many, many people in this community.  You were a shining example of KINDNESS. 

 

Thank you.

Here is a link to her inspirational obituary:  E.A. Raven

Salmon and Honey

When people stop to peruse the Little Yellow Free Pantry, because of the way it is situated, often I can only see their legs and feet.  Some legs and feet I recognize, others I do not.  So, today when I saw some unknown legs and feet, I popped outside to see who was there.

It turned out to be someone who hadn’t been to the pantry before.  I kept my distance so as not to frighten her and said, “Hello!” cheerfully.  She stepped to the side of the box and we could see one another.  She was a young-ish woman, very thin, who looked a bit scared and confused.

I approached with a smile and welcomed her.  She had a bag of chips in her hand that she had found in the pantry.  I asked her if there was other food she would like and explained that I would run inside and get it for her if there was.

She was shy and a bit overwhelmed I think.  “No, no, this is ok,” she said, showing me her tiny bag of chips. 

Then she asked what she must have been wondering, “WHAT IS THIS?  Why?  And why so GENEROUS?”.  Her English had a tell-tell accent that let me know this was not her first language, and that made it clear that culturally she had never seen a sight like the Little Yellow Free Pantry.

Her questions were not easy to answer, really.  Not to a skeptical soul.  But I tried.  “Because in this neighborhood, we believe that EVERYONE belongs, and that we all should have good food,” I tried.  Her eyes showed the trust had still not been gained.  “This food is not from ME,” I explained, “It is from EVERYONE,” (I gestured largely, though could never gesture large enough to explain to her that food arrives from strangers around the entire country who support this massive project).  “Everyone together gives.  Many people here do not have food to eat.”

This fact seemed to surprise her.  I could see the wheels spinning in her head and the lightbulb go off – YOU MEAN I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE?

“People visit all day, every day.  In the night, too!  If you come at night, the light will turn on so you can see the food,” I told her.  “Really???  But WHY?” she asked, her head still swirling with this strange concept.

Her “why” was not a question of “why do people need food”, but WHY DID THEY FIND IT IN THIS STRANGE YELLOW BOX ON A BUSY CORNER??

I smiled.  “Because.  Because here, in this community, we work together.  If we have food, we share.  If we do not have food, we come here to get some.  We work together.”

Eventually we built up enough trust that she was willing to tell me that she needed some canned fish.  I ran inside and returned with a basket full of items for her to choose from – an American mistake…  The trust that had been delicately built cracked when I handed her a bag and explained that she could put the items inside it to carry.

“No, no no!!!  Too much!!” she quickly objected.

Damn, why hadn’t i just gotten a couple cans of fish and started out slowly?  Sigh. 

I held up the can of salmon.  She smiled and let out a quiet “yes”.  Tuna?  Smile.  “Enough!  Enough!” she exclaimed. 

I quietly raised the bottle of honey.  “Honey??” I offered.  “Well, I do like honey…” she said quietly as a bit more of her guard dropped.

In the end she let me put a few items in the bag, including a can opener that she needed.  She said that she wanted to help me – what help could she offer?  She explained that she and her son are living in a hotel room but she is hunting for an apartment.  That hunt is proving difficult though, because the places she has checked will not let the two of them share a studio, which is what her budget would allow.  And in the meantime, the hotel is eating away at their funds.

I hope to see her again.  I am bad with names, so I have jotted hers down to try and remember it.  I told her I would love her help and that next time I see her walk by I may have a task for her to do.

In the meantime, she and her son will have fish tonight.  And honey.  And perhaps a bit more trust in this strange new world they are calling home.

 

If you would like to help keep the Little Yellow Free Pantry stocked, we would be grateful and honored.  Donations of shelf-stable, unopened, unexpired food are always welcome, as are full-sized toiletries (no medicines).  We are currently very low on:

-         Peanut butter (any kind)

-         Honey

-         Toothpaste (full sized tubes)

-         Jelly (any flavor)

-         Pop-Tarts (any flavor)

-         Ketchup

-         Soy sauce

-         Mustard

-         Relish

-         Mayonnaise

-         Cans of salmon

-         Spaghetti-Os

-         Cake mix

-         Jars of pickles (any kind)

-     Boxes of Jell-O (any flavor)

If you are local to the DC metro area, donations for the LYFP can be left in the tan and green plastic bin on our front porch near the front door.  If you are not local and would like to order via Amazon, please check out our wishlist here: LYFP Wishlist  . Anything ordered there will ship directly to our home and be put in the pantry storage area, then moved to the LYFP as needed.