Asking for Help

Asking for help is DIFFICULT.  Most of us struggle with admitting we need help, then being vulnerable enough to ask for it.  When was the last time you actually asked for help?  Not when someone voluntarily gave you help – “Here, your hands are full, let me get the door for you,” – but when you humbled yourself enough to ask for help.

I admire people who are strong enough to ask for help.  And if they put a specific ask into the universe, I am honored to have Kindness Activist funds to help meet their asks.  There have been three of those this week, so I will share them here. 

1.      A member of a Facebook group I belong to recently posted this:  “Does anybody have baby formula that can give it to me, because my babe doesn’t have any more formula.  “I really need some.  It doesn’t matter what formula it is, I just need some please.  Thank you!”

Isn’t that brave?  The past months have been filled with parents needing formula because of the shortages on the shelves.  But this mother needed formula period.  Any kind.  Just something to feed her baby.

Because of the generous people who shopped at the 2021 Kindness Yard Sale and those that gave donations, Kindness Activist had money to get this baby 3 cans of formula.  I like to imagine that baby gobbled some up and had a nice, tummy-filled rest.

 Kindness Activist money spent:  $81.96 

2.     We saw a family sitting on the ground behind their van in a very busy gas station parking lot.  It was a woman, man, 2 children, and one small infant.  The man held a sign saying that they needed gas. 

Now, I know that many people do not believe that people holding signs asking for things are being truthful.  And maybe sometimes they are not.  But I think it takes courage for this man and woman to sit out in the blazing son and ask for help.  Plus, they asked for gas, not money.  

I walked up to them and said I could get them some gas.  They all leapt into the van and the dad drove up to a gas pump.  “I can get you $50 worth of gas,” I said.  His face showed me that he was not certain what I said, so I clarified, “5 – 0”.  His eyes lit up.  $50 of gas would get him quite a ways!  As he pumped the gas (and very carefully watched the pump so that he would no go over and take advantage of the kindness being offered), I asked a bit about his story.  I could not understand the name of the country they had arrived from, but they came through Mexico to enter the US.  The children were 4, 2, and 2 months, and all were beautiful.  One little boy kept poking his head out of the driver’s window to see what was going on.  He said something, and the father translated for me, “He say he is very grateful and thank you”. 

The man showed me that he had a monitoring bracelet on his ankle.  “Immigration,” he explained.  “Difficult.”  Oh yes, so very difficult.  He said in the best English that he could that he moved his family here so they could all have a better life.  That working was hard, but when he got a green card it would all be worth it. 

         Welcome to America, sir.  I am sorry that I could not do more for you, but may               your family settle down in this country and thrive. 

Kindness Activist money spent:  $49.98 

3.     And finally for this accounting, a woman who I had left a note in the Little Yellow Free Pantry outside our home a few months ago asking for diapers one time texted today.  She said she and her son were at our door, but we didn’t seem to be home.  She needed diapers and wondered if we had any. 

Well, because of her courage in being willing to ask for help, and because of funds raised by Kindness Activist, I was able to order not only diapers to be sent directly to her, but also wipes, snacks, and toys for her children.  I wish I could be a fly on the wall and see her smile when the packages arrive on Monday. 

Kindness Activist money spent:  $88.53 

People like these, people willing to put themselves out there and ask for assistance, inspire me.  I wish more of us were willing to ask for what we need.  It’s not always a physical “thing” we need.  Maybe we wish our children would call us more often.  Maybe we would like a co-worker to go on a lunch time walk with us.  Maybe we need a bit of help setting up a new computer…  But we are too embarrassed to ASK for what we want/need.  I am going to try and take a lesson from the people I assisted recently and ASK FOR HELP.  What can it hurt, right?  I hope you, too, will be inspired and brave enough to ask for help when you need it.

Note:  photos in this piece are not my own, but stock photos.  They do not represent the actual people assisted.  

Homeless or Houseless? Kindness Yard Sale Accounting Update

Here is an update (and some inspiration!) on how Kindness Yard Sale funds have been used recently:

This evening I was outside on the front porch, STILL trying to arrange left-over items from the Kindness Yard Sale (the task that never ends, but I enjoy).  A man rolling a large duffle bag suitcase walked up.  His had a huge smile on his face as he approached.  He said he was here to thank me for the pantry.  He had gotten food out of it before, he explained, took it across the street, sat down and had a meal.  His gracious demeanor was so heartwarming.  I asked if he would like some groceries and he said yes, and we discussed that he didn’t have much space to carry them between his backpack and his duffle bag.  Also, that he didn’t have a can opener, so everything needed to be able to be opened without that.

With those things in mind, I rushed down to the pantry storage area and brought up a big basket of food for him to choose from:

Honey – nope!  I got that out of the pantry the other day and I still have some!

Tuna with a flip top – YES PLEASE!

Granola bars – yes

Toothpaste – nope, I have dentures!

Foil pack of tuna – oh yes!

Cowboy Beans – oh no, those are too spicy I tried them once

Applesauce -no, that should go to a family with a baby

Can of soup with flip top – no, another family will need that more than me

And on and on we went through the items

I have had interactions with people experiencing homelessness at the pantry before, but here is where this one went different.  The man, Christopher, asked if he could put some dollar bills under the labels of cans in the pantry. 

This man doesn’t have a kitchen.

He doesn’t have a can opener.

But he wanted to share what he has with others.

The epitome of giving.

As he pulled out some one-dollar bills.  I said “No, no, please save your money.  But your idea of hiding bills in with the food is so fun!  I will hide some money in there!  Thank you for the idea!”

But Christopher said, “Now don’t say no to my blessings!!!!”. 

So he, a street preacher, and I, a pantry shop keep, walked on over to the pantry.  He figured out a good system to squeezing dollar bills in behind labels, leaving the money visible only under the can.  We hope that the people who come for the food do not see the money until they get home.  We giggled at the idea that someone might see ONE can with money, then rip all of the labels off the other cans hoping to find more!!

As we talked he preached of love and joy.  He told me that many people in our country have physical houses, but are homeless because the houses are not filled with love.  Now that’s the kind of church I can get behind.

My new friend Christopher.  I misunderstood his name the first time he said it and thought his name was Christian.  He loved that and thought it was a huge compliment.

Two other grocery related Kindness Activist things have happened this weekend.

Right after the story about the Kindness Yard Sale ran on the CBS Evening News on Friday, messages and friend requests started popping in from people I don’t know.  One of the messages said this:

“Hello.  I’m (___).  Can you please help me with a few groceries for my family?  Please.  I recently lost my job due to the pandemic and I take care of my 80 year old mother as well.  Anything will help and be greatly appreciated.  I am still waiting on my unemployment, hopefully next week.  All of this caught me completely off guard.  Anything will help and be greatly appreciated.  If not, I completely understand.”

I saw his message pop in and replied.  We chatted a bit and I asked him where he lived.  Within a half an hour, I had sent an electronic grocery gift card to a local store so that he could get some food.  The next day he wrote back, “Just wanted to tell you we got groceries.  Thank you again.  God bless you.  Mom says thank you.”

It wasn’t much, $75.  But I was only able to meet him because the news did the story.  I am so happy that the attention of the news ended up bringing him and his mother food for their bellies. 

Kindness Activist funds spent - $75

And finally, a neighbor contacted me today to ask if I could use some SALMON for the Little Free Yellow Pantry.  She had some frozen and wanted to donate it.  We no longer have an extra refrigerator and freezer for the pantry, but salmon sounded like such a great donation that I told her to bring it on over and squished it into our personal freezer. 

Well, about two hours later another neighbor contacted me and explained that she was low on food.  Her car is broken, so transportation to the grocery store is difficult, and funds are low. 

It is HARD to reach out and ask for help.  And I was honored she was willing to be vulnerable and come to me.  After checking on likes/dislikes, I loaded up 4 grocery bags from the storage area for the Little Free Yellow pantry, then ran to the grocery store to buy perishables.  So, you guessed it, that salmon found a new home!!!  A grateful home where it will be cooked with care and enjoyed!!

These tasty groceries were added to the salmon and items from the Little Free Yellow Pantry

The woman later posted a very gracious thank you in our local group:

“Just wanted to say I am very grateful for you Susan Thompson-Gaines and the food pantry. Got some groceries today because of it. So, if you have donated, I appreciate you very much. Miss Susan is the epitome of an amazing neighbor. She brought food to me within an hour of me messaging her today (cars been out of service for weeks now).   I used to be embarrassed to let people see I need things sometimes...especially food. But I've come to terms that I need help sometimes and I shouldn't be ashamed of asking for help if I need it. I feel blessed to be able to live in this community. And for "My neighbors" not judging me.  It makes me feel a little more open than i would be normally.  I just feel like I wanna be an open book, cause I know I’m not the only person in life doing it alone and feeling like, ‘Damn - can I just catch a break?’ I appreciate you guys so much.”

Kindness funds spent - $67.90

So, I say –

To all who have donated food to the Little Free Yellow Pantry – thank you.

To those who donated items to sell at the Kindness Yard Sale – thank you.

To those who shopped at the sale – thank you.

And to those who donated funds – thank you.

Together, we are spreading kindness. 

If you would like to contribute funds:

Venmo - @susan-thompson-gaines

PayPal – thompsongaines@msn.com 

If you would like to contribute pantry items, we currently need:

Honey

Maseca

Pasta

Pasta sauce

Canned vegetables

Canned fruit

Single servings of cereal

Cereal

3 or 4 can openers