Giving Thanks

Holidays are sometimes hard for me.

I feel melancholy, not social.  Holidays make me think a lot.  I have a strong desire to make them special, yet I have an innate understanding that the specialness will not occur.  Dichotomy. 

Hence, melancholy.

But today…  Today is Thanksgiving, and we made a new friend.  A friend who represents the spirit of the holiday.  The magic of the season.

His name is Javier.

I looked out the window and saw a vehicle pulled into the last spot of the street with trunk open.  This usually indicates INCOMING.  Normally, incoming donation for the Little Yellow Food Pantry.  Sometimes, incoming warm coats for Project Warmth.  Sometimes, incoming gifts of delicious cookies.

But today, I was not sure…  Instead of bringing the bags that he pulled out of the car to the porch for donation, he was going straight to the pantry.  I reassessed – maybe this was someone who needed food, not someone giving food.

I went out to say hello and was greeted with the biggest smile.

“This is your box??” he asked, pointing to the Little Yellow Free Pantry.

 

“Yes!  Do you need food?” I asked.  The smile returned.  “NO!  No.  I do not need food.  I GIVE FOOD.”

And that was the start of an hour-long conversation, and the beginning of a new friendship.

Javier is an immigrant.  He came to the USA from Honduras, alone, 18 months ago.  And for the first 6 of those months, his food came from a Little Free Pantry, one that was located outside the Central Library in Arlington, Virginia.

As Javier told us his story, he expressed his gratitude over and over.  Gratitude for the country.  For the food.  For the people.

When he first arrived and got a job, he kept $1 of his earnings.  “One dollar,” he said, “One dollar.  In America.  What food can be gotten with one dollar?”.  The rest of the money he sent home to his wife and children, his mother, and used to pay part of the rent for a tiny space he was sharing with another immigrant.

But, like so many who make their way to this country, he was resourceful.  And strong.  And determined.

He got a bicycle.  He got more work.  He got his driver’s license.  He saved and got a car.  And he got more jobs.

He went to university back home.  He had a very good job in his country.  But now here, here in the land of the free, he wakes up at 3:30 am to begin his days.  He studies English on an app.  He reads a book.  He eats his meal.  Then he begins one of four jobs.

They are jobs that some would say are “beneath him”, but he works hard.  He saves.  He sends money home, even to support a cancer charity because his mother has breast cancer. 

And he is thriving here. 

Javier spent every dime he had made today to buy food for others, strangers.  He didn’t know where he would donate it – the pantry he used to frequent has been moved to a new location and he didn’t know where it was.  He searched online and found us – the Little Yellow Free Pantry.  So, without ever meeting us, without having benefited from our services, he came to give back.  Give back to the country and the people who are giving him a new life.

We talked for quite a while outside but it was cold, so David invited him in.  We sat at our messy kitchen table and learned more about his life.  His 3 sons.  His wife.  We got to meet his wife when he video chatted her to introduce us.  I couldn’t help but notice “mi amor” was written across the screen as her ID in his phone. 

We met his mother.  He video chatted her and interpreted for us.  I told him to please explain to her how grateful we were for his donations, and that she raised a very kind man.

Someone had donated pumpkin pies, and we had one left in the fridge.  I offered it to him even before I heard his story and he had accepted with a smile.  As we talked, he said that last year was his first Thanksgiving in his new country.  He had eaten pumpkin pie and remembered it fondly.  But this year, he had told his wife earlier today, no pumpkin pie.  And then magically – PUMPKIN PIE.  Ahhh, this explained the shine in his eyes when he took the dessert from my hands.

If you ever doubt that immigrants are what make this country amazing, please let me introduce you to Javier.  Listen to his story.  Hear how hard he works.  Feel the hope in his heart that he will be able to bring his beautiful wife and children to America.

That is thankful.

This is what deserves Thanksgiving.

 

 P.S. – a text just popped in from Javier.  It says, “This day has been incredible for my life.  I wanted to give, and in the end I received so much more by meeting you and sharing with you.  I hope to see you soon.  It was incredible – the moments by your side.”  We WILL see you soon, new friend.  Thank you for making this holiday not melancholy, but truly special.  Thank you for reminding me what true Thanksgiving is.

 

 

 

Holiday Kindness

It is the HOLIDAY SEASON!

That can mean different things for different people:  joy, sadness, excitement, grief, stress, magic, depression…  Those are the same emotions that we experience at other times of the year, but somehow when the holidays roll around, they are magnified.  So, this year, I am going to consciously do my best to put KINDNESS in the forefront of my mind as I jump into the holiday season.  Sharing kindness with someone experiencing joy can enhance their joy (which can easily rub off on you!).  Sharing kindness with someone experiencing grief and sadness can shine a small flicker of light into their darkness.  And sharing kindness with people around us who we have no notion of what they are feeling can create ripples of kindness – ripples that will slowly spread to others and extend kindness further and further.

It is in that vein that I share some recent uses of Kindness Activist funds with you.

I love, love, love to surprise people by buying their Christmas tree for them.  We have done this every year since Kindness Activist began, and 2022 could be no exception!  So, I have been looking for someone to spring the Christmas tree surprise on.

But it is tricky!!!  I THOUGHT I found the perfect people in the holiday section at Home Depot one day.  They were pursuing artificial trees – up and down the aisles.  I could tell they were serious and would likely make a purchase on that shopping trip, so I pretended to be looking at holiday decorations, too.  I could tell when they had made their choice, so I strolled around to secretly see which tree it was and check out the price tag.  YIKES – it was over $300!!!  As much as I wanted to treat them, that seemed a bit much, so I kept quiet and left.

On other shopping trips, I saw people looking at trees, but they didn’t seem ready to commit yet.  Some days I stood and waited for someone to come through a check-out line with a tree but came up empty handed.  Ugh!

But I think those fails were meant to be, because when we finally found the people to treat, it was obvious that they were the exact right family for this kind surprise.  My partner David and I were in Bellevue, Nebraska on our 23^rd wedding anniversary.  Before going out to a fancy meal, I said, “Let’s stop at Walmart and see if we can treat someone to a Christmas tree!” (because nothing says “romantic anniversary event” than a trip to Walmart, right???). 

Welcome to Walmart

We walked around a bit, then started watching a sweet family with 3 kids and 4 adults.  One by one, each child chose a toy from a shelf, quietly walked it over to the shopping cart, and were told by an adult that they could not get it and needed to go put it back.  The youngest girl was especially sad that she couldn’t get the Barbie she coveted. 

We saw the mom stroll into the Christmas tree section and quietly followed her, pretending to be looking for our own tree.  As I “looked”, David went back to ask who we thought was the dad of the family if they were going to buy a tree that night.  But the man said he didn’t understand English, and David returned to me without the info. 

No matter, it quickly became clear that the mom was in the market for a tree and had indeed decided on one.  She had looked up and down the aisle at all of the options – big and small – and was ready to put a smaller, cheap tree ($69) in her cart when I spoke up.  “Excuse me – are you going to buy that Christmas tree?” I asked.  She smiled and told me yes.  “Well, we would like to treat you to a tree.  I saw you looking at those, too,” I said, gesturing to the more expensive ones.  “Would you like a bigger one?  Do you have space for one??  We can spend up to $200 on your tree”.

Her eyes lit up as she asked if this was true, were we actually going to buy their tree???  When I assured her it was true, she began to cry and a smile covered her whole face.  We looked together and she chose a beautiful, pre-lit tree that was $189. 

She and I walked back to the rest of the family and she explained to them (in French) what was happening.  They all smiled.  I told the kids that we had seen they had chosen toys earlier, and they should each go grab the toy and put it back in the cart for us to get.  That plan didn’t go as I had envisioned…  Instead of grabbing the toys they had previously picked and been told they couldn’t get, they grabbed big, fancy, very expensive things (the biggest being the whole display of LOL dolls that the littlest child really thought was a “set” and she “needed” 😊 ).  In the end I talked them down – each girl got a Barbie, and the boy got a small gumball machine and a little candy item. 

One of the things I loved most about the experience was what one of the little girls said as we were doing self-check out.  David and I had been shopping and talking with the family for about 20 minutes at that point, and the little girl looked up at me, eyes wide, and said, “Wait…  Are you WITH us???”.  It was beautiful.

What made the kindness even more special is that 2 of the adults were visiting Omaha from Cote d’Ivoire.  They got to witness a totally random interaction that showed them a good side of America.  It wasn’t the gun violence seen on tv.  It wasn’t the car crashes or reality tv shows or political fighting.  It was KINDNESS – seen firsthand.  And it was lovely.  Perfect way to spend our anniversary.

Kindness Activist funds used:  $222.33

 

The next use of funds retold here is not related to holidays that roll around in December, but one that happened in October – Halloween.  I love Halloween, which makes perfect sense because I love giving gifts!  And Halloween is a whole night of giving – giving TREATS to kids who ring the doorbell!! 

A sibling duo – pre-teen sister and small brother – have been visiting the Little Yellow Free Pantry daily for the last couple of months.  I think they are relatively new to the neighborhood.  The girl is very talkative and enjoys engaging.  The first time I met them at the pantry she explained that their mom has enough money to buy them food, but not enough for snacks.  Thus began a daily stop (or two) at the pantry for chips, dried fruit, crackers, nuts, juice, candy…  The kids are very respectful – always say thank you and take only what they need (though I have had to work very hard to keep the young boy from throwing his snack packages on the ground…).  Sweetly, the girl takes time to look through the whole pantry (not just the snack section) and sometimes finds items that she takes home for the family – cake mixes, cereal, pasta sauce…  Her maturity level at such a young age (helping to provide for the family) is amazing. 

October 30^th I asked (without thinking) what they were going to dress up as for Halloween.  “We don’t have costumes,” she told me, “But we will go trick-or-treating anyway”.  As someone who loves dressing up and seeing kids dressed up, this revelation hurt my heart.  “What would you like to dress up as???” I asked.  She wanted some sort of fairy outfit, he wanted a specific color Transformer.  “Done!” I naively thought.  I explained that I had beautiful light up fairy wings I would loan her, and we would run to the store to grab the Transformer costume.

Ok now…  Not only do we not have kids, but we also never buy store bought costumes for ourselves, we make them.  So, I had not thought ahead to the fact that showing up in the costume aisle at Target around 7:00 pm the night before Halloween was a recipe for disaster.  The costume section was a MESS – everything was thrown into one aisle, many bits and pieces lie on the floor, and everything was very picked over.  As you might suspect, the color of Transformer the little boy had requested was impossible to find.  But hey – there was a SPIDERMAN in his size, and the chest even LIT UP!!!  Bingo!!

The tale doesn’t have the storybook ending that I would like it to so that we could wrap it up with a perfect little bow.  The girl picked up the costumes too late to bring them to school.  They didn’t dress up in them and parade down to our house on Halloween night to show us how cool they looked.  And in fact, the girl didn’t return the wings when she had promised she would (causing me to do a lot of self-reflection, the wings were not the issue (I don’t need light up fairy wings really, now do I???  It was more about my feelings being hurt that a promise was not kept). 

In the end, my wings came back undamaged.  We saw the little boy in his Spiderman suit out taking a walk and stopping at the pantry on a random day (the costume had gone through the wash, so no longer lit up).  And the kindness had made the kids happy.  And really – that’s all we can hope for, right?

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $25.97

 

A local elementary school counselor contacted me last year to ask if Kindness Activist could help pitch in so that they could supply some families at the school with Thanksgiving meals.  It seemed like a perfect use of funds, so of course we donated.   We wanted to help again this year, so we gave the school $250 to help buy food to put together turkeys and side dishes for 11 families.  Thankful to be able to help.

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $250

 

I was contacted by a counselor at a local school saying that they had a mom of four students at the school who had just had a baby and was in need of a diaper bag and breast pump.  It is nice when asks are so specific – that makes granting them easy! 

Photo of the robe gifted to the mom (from the website, not the mom wearing it)

I shopped online and found a cozy robe for mamma, clothing and pacifier holders for baby, coloring books, colored pencils, paper, crayons, and books for big brothers and sisters.  Then, hoping to make Kindness Activist money stretch further by not buying the other items, I put an ask out into the community, and they did the rest…

We were overwhelmed with replies!!  More than one breast pump arrived (in excellent condition).  Beautiful diaper bag.  More baby clothing.  A diaper changing mat.  A car mirror!!!  Everything the new mamma and her baby needed.

These are examples of kindness that I love – when a whole community gets behind a mission.  Inspiring!

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $194.24

 

I consider it such an honor to be entrusted with the Kindness Activist funds, and am always on the lookout for new, creative, responsible and diverse ways to use them.  So, when I saw someone online asking if anyone had a juicer (she was looking for the exact same inexpensive but effective juicer we have), I knew it was a good fit!!

This was a simple gift – a quick act of kindness (order juicer, run to store to grab some oranges to go with it, and deliver to recipient).  These small acts of kindness go a long way to spread sunshine and happiness in the world!

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $35.01

 

That's the current report.  More news about how Kindness Activist funds are used coming soon.  Until then - may the holiday season find you healthy, feeling loved, and on the look-out for kindness.

Kindness Accounting - January 2022 Edition

I am back with another update on how Kindness Yard Sale funds are being used!!! 

Oh how I wish I could include you all in the activities when the money is spent.  It is so fun to be able to share the kindness with the world.

Ok, first up! 

I used Kindness Yard Sale money to buy Starbucks gift cards.  We bought 20 $5 cards, then headed over to our local grocery store.  Grocery store employees have worked SO HARD during this pandemic, and lately the grocery shelves here in the DC metro area have been bare.  There was a bad snowstorm, leaving delivery trucks stuck on the highway.  Plus, people PANIC shopped and hoarded items.  And some store employees are sick with Covid and cannot work.  The end result is hard working employees and cranky customers.  So that’s why we treated them to Starbucks cards!  It was very fun to hand them a card and thank them for all they do to keep the community nourished.  We gave out 10 cards, will do the other 10 the next time we shop.  

Ready to go in and hand out gift cards!

Kindness money spent:  $100

One thing I really respect in people is the ability to be VULNERABLE.  It is difficult!  Really putting yourself out there, being honest, especially when things are rough, can be hard.  That’s why when I read this post from a neighbor, I new it was the perfect way to use Kindness Yard Sale funds:

“Would anyone be able to pick up some food from the Salvation Army on Glebe Rd for us?   Our car was repossessed the other day, I have been unable to get groceries and other necessities as I didn’t know our car was taken.”

I was so moved by the request.  The woman was not asking for a hand-out.  She didn’t ask for money.  She didn’t even ask for FOOD.  All she wanted was someone to pick up food for them at the Salvation Army.  And the post was made 2 days before THANKSGIVING!

I contacted the poster and explained about Kindness Yard Sale funds.  I asked her to give me a shopping list and we set out for the store!  It was very fun filling the cart with food for these deserving strangers.  And they were so appreciative when we delivered it.  Turned out they were new to Virginia, there were chronic health issues too, and the family was just in a hard spot.  Other neighbors also pitched in, and the kids in the family wrote letters to Santa and got gifts through that project, too. 

Operation "THANKSGIVING!!" under way

Because of the yard sale, that family was able to have a delicious Thanksgiving dinner.  In fact, I saw that the next month, the woman even posted to invite others to join in their Christmas dinner if they would like!  Inviting strangers to the table!!  That is kindness.

After the grocery deliver and support the community gave, the woman edited her post to add:

“Thank you so much everyone, we are truly blessed. We could be going through this anywhere in the world, but we are here, and the community has been nothing short of amazing. Bless you all for the information and offering to help. We were blessed with lots of groceries and met an amazing couple! My faith in humanity has been restored to a whole new level!  Happy Holidays everyone and when you need a hand, or someone to make you a cup a of coffee and offer you an ear, you have a whole a family here who appreciates all of their neighbors!”

Kindness money spent:  $292.32

I got word of a sweet couple who were new to America.  They came from a WARM climate and bam – here they were in the middle of winter!  They use public transport, which means a lot of walking to and from busses and metros. 

Kindness money was used to buy them a cuddly blanket and a nice pair of warm boots for the man (a student).  Because of kindness funds, he can now walk to and from transportation without freezing his feet!

Kindness money spent:  $59.80

A local elementary school contacted me about a program they run.  They were arranging Thanksgiving meals for families that did not have them, and wondered if Kindness Activist could pitch in.  WHY OF COURSE!  That is exactly what Kindness funds are for!  I pitched in some Kindness money and the organizers were so thankful.  Because of the yard sale donations, many families were able to have tasty meals.

Kindness money spent:  $200

And finally for this update, Kindness funds were used to help a visitor to America SPREAD KINDNESS. 

My friend Ixi is from Guatemala, and her parents came to visit to meet their new grandson!  Her father is very active in his faith community back home, and had connected with a priest in Arlington on a previous visit that he really liked.  So even though he was here visiting and on vacation – he set up a MEAL for people around the church!  They wrote: 

“Saturday November 27 - Thanksgiving day in Virginia, USA.  Faith in Action, along with the Hispanic Church of Clarendon, shared the Bible and served 85 lunches to Central Americans living in difficult situations in this country. God was Glorified. thank you everyone who contributed God bless you and multiply.”

The JOY of spreading KINDNESS

Kindness money spent: $100

That’s it for this update.  There are MANY more stories to be told, and I promise to get to them!  These funds are not MINE, but the WORLD’S, and I pledge to be transparent, as always, in how they are used.

Thanks again for all of your support for Kindness Activist.  Let’s keep spreading kindness and watching the kindness ripples form.