Snowflakes of Kindness

Last year around this time I was gearing up to march in the Women’s March in Washington DC.  I had ideas on what I wanted to paint on my sign, but I do not know how to knit and therefore didn’t plan on adorning my head with one of the iconic hats of the march.  I didn’t plan on it, that is, until someone I had met only one time in my life asked if I would like her to knit one for me…  I was blown away by the kindness, and you can bet I was proud as punch to pull that hat on the day of the march and join thousands of other people in the streets.*

Fast forward one year…  I was reading through the online discussion about the Women’s March on Washington 2018: March to the Polls.  Part of the discussion was about attire, and the idea of wearing SNOWFLAKES surfaced.  The concept was to sew or pin snowflakes to coats, hats, mittens, whatever, and OWN THE SNOWFLAKE LABEL.  Not only own it, but show the world that a blizzard is-a-comin’, and everyone had better get prepared!  In the snowflake discussion thread I saw a woman asking if anyone would like her to crochet snowflakes for them.

Could it be?  Could crafty women be willing to share their talents with complete (and/or nearly complete) strangers just for the sake of camaraderie and kindness???  First, I quickly wrote a “Me please!!” message to make sure I didn’t miss out on the generous offer, then I sent a private message to the kind woman behind the snowflakes, Julie.  I had to know why she was willing to go out of her way and use her time and talents to adorn women she didn’t know!

Beautiful, handmade snowflakes!  Aren't they amazing?

Once she was finished crocheting, Julie wrote me back.  She is a kindness inspiration! 

Julie explained that she got the idea to make the snowflakes on Facebook.  “I saw that someone posted the idea of wearing snowflakes (to embrace the ‘liberal snowflake’ insult and make it our own) and I thought, ‘I'm going to do that!’,” she told me.  “Then I saw that someone else posted about looking to buy some snowflakes, and it occurred to me that I could make them for more than just me and my friends, so I offered them up to anyone who wanted them.”  Did you catch that?  She was already going to make them for her group of friends, but she opened up the offer to complete strangers!  Isn’t that awesome?? 

And it wasn’t only Julie.  Her 11 year old son Zachary got involved, too!  He made an illustration that she included with each envelope of snowflakes, and he also helped package and mail all of them out.  Way to use your own creativity and kindness, Zachary!

Artwork by Zachary, included with each and every snowflake!  :)

And before you get to thinking that this was a light snow fall, no, this was a BLIZZARD.  Julie crocheted and mailed out around 90 snowflakes, and she is making 50 more to hand out in person at the march!!!  Imagine the smiles on strangers faces when Julie walks up to them on march day with a handmade snowflake to wear!  I asked her how this act of kindness makes her feel, and she said, “It makes me feel great! I love being able to contribute in some way and love the community of interdependence and teamwork that the marches help foster. I've heard from people who've received them and they're so happy.”

The snowflake maker in action (with a little "help" from a furry friend...)

Of course, like many kind people, Julie gives back in other ways, too.  She volunteers at a local high school theater sewing costumes, an activity that she reports is “chaotic, but so much fun”.  Julie, as a theater nerd who was involved in many high school productions, I say thank you on behalf of the kids that you (and all of the other amazing seamstresses) have costumed.  😊

Julie summed up this kind snowflake effort by saying, “I think everyone has talents and the ability to use those to make others feel better, so I just encourage everyone to look for what they can do to contribute to the common good.”  You got that right, Julie!  We all have talents we can share.  Oh sure, maybe they are not as crafty and skilled as your ability to crochet, but we all have SOMETHING we can share with others.  And if we all did, well, just imagine the kindness that would snow down on the world!

* Here is a link to the story of the kind woman who made me an amazing hat last year:  Knit Hat Kindness

Knit Hat Kindness

If you have read any of my writing you can pretty much figure out which “team” I am on.  I try not to look at the world in such black and white terms, but I guess this is a time where to tell the whole story clearly I need to announce that I am proud to be a bleeding heart liberal feminist.  My friends all know that, so they assumed that I would be going to the Women’s March in DC on January 21.  I mean, it was taking place practically in my backyard.

Women's March logo

Only, quietly, I knew I was not going…  I hadn’t talked about it.  I hadn’t really even formulated the reasons for skipping it in my own head.  But I was not going. 

I wasn’t scared to march.  I wasn’t apathetic about the issues.  I was very worried and concerned about the election results.  I was EXTREMELY nervous about the rights of women, immigrants, people of color, and the LGBTQ communities being hurt by the new administration. But I just could not find the motivation, the SPARK, to march.

A friend asked if we might be able to house his girlfriend and her friend who were coming for the march.  “Sure,” I said, knowing I myself wasn’t going (but not telling him that) but thinking, “We can drop them off at metro and they can go march”.

People talked about what they were going to write on their signs.  People went on about how excited they were to march.  People were booking hotels, buying plane tickets, ordering t-shirts and buttons, and I was quietly, dully going about my daily life.  I know part of it was a general malaise, perhaps a depression, about the state of the country.  I felt lost and helpless, and I wasn’t sure what showing up on the national mall with a handmade sign the day after inauguration would do to change any of that.

THEN I GOT TAGGED IN A FACEBOOK POST BY THIS WOMAN… 

Do I know Karen from Chicago?

I asked my partner, “David, do you know someone named Karen Hoyer from Chicago?”.  He confirmed that he knew her, and that she is a clown in children’s hospitals like he is.  Here is the post she tagged me in:

      “Susan Thompson-Gaines, (2 more people tagged) are you going to the Washington Women's               March? I am at a knit-a-long to make PussyHats for women to wear - Would you wear it if I sent           it to you? (You can say "no I have a hat already" and my feelings won't be hurt!                                      https://www.pussyhatproject.com/”

Yes, out of the blue, a woman who at the time I thought was a complete stranger (but it turns out I had met once in Chicago) was offering to HAND KNIT ME A PUSSY HAT.  I was NOT planning to march, and I had been feeling rather on the fence about the whole idea of the pussy hats, but then suddenly someone I do not know offers to make me one, and that act of kindness was the nudge I needed!!!

Seriously, from the time she asked if I would like her to make me a hat, I was 100% in.  I don’t know if it was the “invitation” I needed to feel included, the nudge in the butt I deserved to get in action, or what, but it WORKED. 

Let’s be clear:  I do not knit. I am in awe of anyone who can.  Many people who made hats for the march poo-pooed the idea that they were difficult.  “Oh, it is nothing!”   “I can make one lickety-split!”  “Those hats are so easy!”. 

NO.  THEY.  ARE.  NOT.

To someone who looks at a ball of yarn and wonders how in the hell THAT could ever turn into a sweater, I tell you that KNIT HATS ARE AMAZING.

Karen in her hat on the way to the march in Chicago!

So just like that!  Karen gave me the nudge I needed.  One afternoon I peeked out on our porch to find a little manila envelope with my very own pink hat inside.  It fits well.  It is warm.  It is lovely.  And it is powerful.

My hat, my sign, my main squeeze, and my capitol in the background.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR KINDNESS, KAREN.  When I marched, you marched.  The issues you told me that you care about: equal pay, reproductive rights, freedom of the press, a ban on handguns, and poverty are also issues that are close to my heart.  I appreciate your nudge.  The march was something I NEEDED, but I didn’t even know it.  Spending the day jam packed on the National Mall with millions of diverse, caring, passionate people was a spark that ignited a fire in me.  My shoulder blades are as sore as can be from holding my sign up high all day, but every time I feel a twinge of pain in them it makes me smile.   

A sea of humanity, dotted by little clouds of PINK everywhere you looked.

You, Karen Hoyer, are a Kindness Activist.  And you are #WhyIMarch  

A marcher in DC - isn't her sign awesome?