Signs of Kindness

I am sure you have noticed that there is a lot of “snark” and negativity on social media these days.  It is very easy to get dragged into it.  But then, every once in a while a post pops up that INSPIRES.  The posts that make you SMILE and feel like you have taken a breath of fresh air.  I saw one of those posts recently, and I reached out to the person who wrote it to ask if I could tell her story here.  Luckily for all of us, she agreed.  I think you will be as inspired as I am.

Rayna Pummel, her sister Riley, and her children Jasyn and Luelle decided to DO SOMETHING recently.  They TOOK ACTION at a time when many others just stood aside thinking nothing could be done.  And their action may literally save lives.

 

The Pummels lost their 16 year old sister, Skylar Dae Plummel, on March 20, 2018 when she completed suicide.  Suicide awareness and prevention is now very important to them.  Wanting to help other families from having to go through what theirs did, and saving other people from making that fatal decision, were reasons enough for Rayna and her family to take action.

Rayna lives in Omaha, Nebraska and a video came out recently about a young girl ready to jump from a pedestrian bridge to end her life.  Rayna told me, “When I saw the video of the young man (Ray’Veontae Harris) saving this girl in my own hometown I just felt urged and inspired to do something to possibly help prevent it for someone else.”

So, Rayna and Riley looked up some suicide prevention quotes, chose the ones that spoke to them, and made signs to hang around town.  Some signs listed the Suicide Hotline number (800-273-8255) for people needing someone to talk to to call.  They tied and taped the signs on streets signs, the pedestrian bridge where the girl had been planning to jump, and on the other side of the bridge (which is in Iowa).   

Here is how Rayna explained it in the Facebook post I saw: “Yesterday evening a girl tried to jump off the pedestrian bridge in downtown Omaha to complete suicide.  Luckily a young man was walking by and saw her and while everyone else walked by, he talked her down and got her to sit on a bench and hug him.  This young man saved her life – but what if he had not been there?  So, my sister and I, having lost our youngest sister to suicide a year and some months ago, decide to put some signs around downtown Omaha for support and awareness.  We need more people like this young man, and I hope our signs help someone.”

Rayna – you and your sister ARE like that young man.  You DID reach out and make a difference to strangers.  Who KNOWS how many people will see those signs and be inspired to keep going?  You are making a difference in the world.  “All I could think was if that man was not there to save that girl, she very well could have died.  Sometimes when people are to the point of choosing suicide all they need in that moment is one sign or one smile to change their mind,” Rayna told me. 

She continued, “I hope people felt inspired like I did. I hope the signs were informative and I really hope those signs or someone else can save someone's life one day. I hope those signs or someone else's kindness is what helps them choose to live.  This is definitely something my sisters and I plan on doing again.  We want to put signs up in every part of Omaha for everyone to see. We want to spread awareness and kindness as much as we can, because in this world today we need it.”  I couldn’t agree more!  I hope that your story also inspires other people to make and hang signs in their own communities. 

This piece is dedicated Rayna’s little sister Skylar, whose favorite saying was, “Be your own kind of Beautiful”. Skylar is forever loved and never forgotten. 

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please call the Suicide Prevention Hotline.  They can be reached at 1-800-273-8255.  You can also reach them online at:  Suicide Prevention Website

You can see the news story about the incident, including an interview with the man who talked the woman back to safety on the pedestrian bridge, here:  WOWTV News Story

#SuicideAwareness  #SpreadingAwareness  #EraseTheStigma 

Statue of Kindness

Not gonna lie, I am finding it difficult to see the kindness in the world lately.  There is SO MUCH negativity, so much anger, so much destruction, so much snarkiness.  All of that can be blinding, at least for people who wear their hearts on their sleeves like me. 

So today I am writing a Kindness Activist piece in the hopes that by sitting down and putting my thoughts on "paper" I will be more able to see the KINDNESS that I know is still out there (just hiding from my view).

My cousin Brenda* is one of the kindest people on the planet and often uses her social media to spread information about causes – dogs that are missing, children that are sick, veterans that need help.  Last month she posted something about a statue being stolen from a grave site in Omaha.  And if that isn’t sad enough, it was taken from a CHILD’S GRAVE.  It hurt my heart to think about what that poor family must have thought – they showed up at the grave site for Mother’s Day to find the statue for their little boy was gone.  What kind of mean person does that??

Brayden's grave, with the sweet baseball boy statue before it was stolen

The post had a link to the story on a local news channel:  Local News Story Link

I watched the clip of the story and decided to see if there might be a way to help.  I had a photo of the statue, so I searched online to find a store that might have the same one.  It turned out that Nagel’s Landscaping in St. Paul, Minnesota had it!  I called and they said they could ship it for us.  Of course, it was not a light item to ship, so not cheap. 

Replacement located!  Now how to buy it....

I couldn’t really afford to pay for the statue and shipping myself, so I reached out to friends on social media and in a Facebook group about Kindness.  Before I knew it, we had enough to cover everything!  A complete stranger in the FB group gave a large donation (THANK YOU so much Donna!) and between 7 others we got it all covered. 

Before I could get all of that organized, someone else had gone to the cemetery and replaced the statue with a different one, not quite the same as the one that had been stolen.  Apparently, they cemented it down so that no one could take it (alas, that also means it can’t be replaced with the exact same one that used to be there…).  We decided that even though the grave site now had a new statue, the family might still be happy to get one that looked the SAME as the one that used to be there. 

Replacement ball player, arrived in Nebraska safely!

So, I called the company in Minnesota and they shipped it to my cousin in Nebraska.  She then delivered it to the family, who were overjoyed to get it.  Brenda reported that the mom and her sister cried and hugged her (which is good, as Brenda is an excellent hugger).  The word is that if I get to meet the family the next time I go to Omaha I am scheduled for a hug, too!

The new statue now lives in the family’s garden, where it is a safe and a daily reminder of their little angel. 

Facebook message from the family

This story is a good reminder, to me at least, that even when it feels like the world is full of sadness, if you look hard enough you will see a ray of kindness peeking through.

Thank you note and a photo of the beautiful baby

Be kind.  Please. 

* Here is another Kindness Activist piece featuring my cousin Brenda that I wrote early on in this project.  Like I said, she is super duper kind, and is deserving of many feature articles about her!  83 Pairs of Kindness

YOUR Kindness Needed Now - Please Help Keep A Reading Mission Going

There are times in everyone’s life that are hard.  Difficult periods.  Rough patches.  And this is most certainly that time for the students, faculty and staff of Gomez Heritage Elementary School in Omaha, Nebraska. 

My sister Sherry is a para at Gomez.  It is an amazing school, full of kids who come from homes with very hard working families, many of whom have immigrated to the United States. They come from homes filled with hope and full of love.  The majority of the students do not speak in English at home.  School is a place where they not only learn subjects like math and art, but they also work hard to develop English as a second language.    

Gomez Heritage Elementary School

Gomez Elementary is FULL of caring, inspirational teachers and staff.  The adults at the school work very hard and are deeply committed to the children they work with.  They see the big difference they are making in the lives of these kids, and that gives them strength to continue through the tough times, like this week.

One of their own suddenly passed away.

Tanya Becker

Tanya Becker, the literacy coach at Gomez, was only 48 years old when she died in her sleep.  I can’t imagine how hard the loss must be for her children, her family, and her students.  She was a beloved teacher at the school, and touched the lives of many students and parents during her nine years working there.

My sister Sherry was understandably upset.  She explained how Tanya was the “sunshine” of the school.  She met the children at the front door when they arrived at Gomez every morning.  She often put her hands into a heart shape on her chest to show the kids how much she loved them.  And it was Tanya who rallied everyone at Gomez to become “Team Sherry” and help her get thru treatment when Sherry was diagnosed with breast cancer last year.   

Tanya and Sherry.  Team Sherry had her back all through treatment.

At times like this it is often difficult to know what to do or say – how to help.  I would like to ask for YOUR ASSISTANCE to do something to keep the mission of Mrs. Becker going, to remind her students of the importance of READING.  In honor of their reading coach, I would like to make sure each and every Gomez student has a new book to read.  I will place stickers in each book reminding them how loved they were by Mrs. Becker and how important it is to continue her mission of reading.    

Can you please help me out with this massive goal?  Gomez serves children pre-K – 4^th grade.  We need 875 books for students, and 140 adult books for faculty and staff, who miss their colleague dearly.  Can you donate a few new (or gently used) books to this cause, or perhaps a gift card to a book store we can use to get enough books?  Is your child ordering through Scholastic at school and willing to share a couple of books with some “new friends” in Omaha?  Can you share this request for help with your circle of friends and family to get the word out??  I would be very appreciative of any help you can give. 

Please email me at:  kindnessactivist@gmail.com (email link here )  for a mailing address to send books or gift cards to.  If you are local to the DC metro area I will happily come to you to pick up whatever you can donate.  I hope to have all books collected and ready to hand out to the students by March 26, 2017. 

Here are some links to online ordering resources:

Barnes and Noble

Scholastic 

Usborne

Walmart

Again, please share this request with others.  The more people willing to pitch in and donate, the sooner those kids will have books honoring Mrs. Becker in their hands.  THANK YOU for reading, for caring, and for helping.

Here is the Gomez website:  Gomez Heritage Elementary School

If you would like a flyer to hang in your workplace, school, or place of worship to help bring in more donations, I have a flyer you can print.  This site will not let me attach files, so please email me at kindnessactivist@gmail.com and I will send you the flyer.  

  

The following is Tanya Becker’s obituary from the Omaha World Herald newspaper:

Beloved Gomez Heritage teacher Tanya Becker was devoted to increasing literacy, 'called everyone friend'

By Marcella Mercer / World-Herald staff writer

Feb 23, 2017 

Top of Form

Bottom of Form

Tanya Becker’s office at Gomez Heritage Elementary is a testament to her teaching.

The South Omaha school’s principal, John Campin, said the room is full of notes from students thanking their literacy coach. Sometimes, there’d be messages like “We love you Mrs. Becker” or “Thanks for teaching me how to read,” on her whiteboard.

Becker died unexpectedly in her sleep Monday. She was 48. The cause of death is unknown, said Tanya Becker’s father-in-law, Neil Becker.

Tanya Becker was born in Omaha and lived in the city most of her life. She left the area briefly to earn her bachelor’s degree at the University of Nebraska at Kearney, and two master’s degrees followed, in literacy and academic leadership.

Becker used her education to further that of others, her father-in-law said. For 25 years, she taught at Omaha Public Schools and also served for some time as an adjunct professor at Concordia University in Seward. Then in 2009, she landed at Gomez-Heritage.

Her focus there was increasing literacy in a school where 58 percent of students learn English as their second language. It was a role she tackled with monthly reading nights, coaching for teachers on literacy strategies, and one-on-one work with students.

On top of these responsibilities, Becker organized literacy groups for her students’ parents. At these meetings, she sometimes helped adults who couldn’t read in English, or at all.

But Becker could connect with any student, Campin said.

“Our reading scores increased significantly because of her ability to teach students, teach teachers, teach parents,” Campin said.

Every morning, Becker stood by the doors of the school and greeted students and parents.

“She was always happy and energetic,” Campin said. “She just called everyone friend.”

When the students were smiling, she could be quick with hugs. And when people looked sad, Becker was known to fold her hands into a heart to show she cared.

“She was a defender of people, family, friends, students,” Neil Becker said.

The marquee outside of the school now shows how much Tanya Becker meant to those she met. Students helped make the sign read “We love Mrs. Becker our sunshine”

Becker is survived by her husband, Patrick Becker; children, Jason and Ellie; parents, Michael and Kathryn Farrens; siblings, Bryan Farrens and Scott Farrens; and father-in-law and mother-in-law, Neil and Paula Becker.

A mass of Christian burial is scheduled for Friday at 11 a.m. at St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Catholic Church.

Breast Milk Kindness

Before we talk about a specific KINDNESS, let’s take a moment to celebrate:

HAPPY BREASTFEEDING MONTH!

(Ok, ok, maybe it was BREASTFEEDING WEEK, and maybe it finished on August 7, so maybe I am a little bit late…  I thought I had read that it was a MONTH, I thought I had TIME, I thought it was all of August 2016, but now it looks like this important topic only got assigned one lousy week.  Unfair!!  Let’s just call it a MONTH ok??  Let’s celebrate it all of August – cuz breastfeeding should be celebrated!!!!)

To celebrate, here are photos of some incredible moms I know who agreed to share their beautiful breast feeding photos here:

Benny and his mamma

Lena and her mommy

Super Sam and his mom

Ryker and his mother take a little break from eating

(By the way, here is an official link to World Breastfeeding Week (which in my opinion should be month…) - World Breastfeeding Week

Ok, so now that we have our general celebration going on – let’s look at an amazing example of KINDNESS via breast milk.  I saw a piece on the courageous Demi Frandsen online*, and knew she needed to be dubbed a Kindness Activist.  And when you hear her story I know that you will agree.

Demi donated 17,503 ounces of her breastmilk.  That is 131 gallons.  And she woke herself up EVERY 3 HOURS to pump to do that. 

Adorable baby Leo

And really, her life at the time must have been stressful enough, without the constant waking up and pumping…  Her son, Leo, was born 2 months early and was very sick with gastroschisis.  He was in the NICU at Children’s Hospital in Omaha, Nebraska.  Demi talked with a lactation consultant there when Leo was a couple of weeks old and still unable to receive her milk.  The hospital was storing the pumped milk for her and noticed how large her stored supply was getting – they were practically running out of room to save it.  So the consultant introduced the idea of DONATING the milk.  Demi explained to me how it works, “You contact a lactation consultant or the milk bank directly. Then they do a quick over-the-phone interview with you to make sure you're eligible (healthy, not on medications, etc). They do a free blood draw and test to make sure you're healthy. Then you bring your frozen milk to your nearest "milk depot" and they ship it off. The milk bank provides all of your storage bags. You don't pay a cent through the whole process.”  So Demi decided to save half of her milk for Leo and donate the other half. 

Demi and Leo having a snuggle

As Leo got older (still in the NICU), because of his illness he still wasn’t able to take much milk, so Demi donated more and more – in fact she donated the majority of the milk she pumped.  She told me, “Donating his milk was emotional every single time.  That milk was for him.  I pumped every ounce for my baby’s benefit.  But knowing that other babies and other moms would benefit from it gave me the strength to want to give it away.”

What a sweet little fella

Sadly, the last donation Demi made was the toughest.  Leo passed away unexpectedly at only ten months of age, and Demi still had a large supply of milk stored, which she very kindly donated.  She weaned her supply for another month and donated that milk, too.  The milk “is just one more way Leo’s life has touched so many.  His milk is saving lives of other fighters like him.”

I asked Demi how she felt donating the milk, and if she had communicated with any of the fortunate moms who received her milk to give their children.  She said, “It feels incredibly rewarding to donate.  As a mom, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my children.  My two boys are my whole world.  And for moms who want so badly to give their babies breastmilk but for various reasons can’t provide it, it’s one way I can help. I have heard from a few moms whose babies received or are receiving donor milk, and it's so rewarding to know that they know the love that was in those ounces. They feel it, too. I was actually able to donate a little of my milk to a close friend whose supply hadn't come in very strong yet. That was a pretty amazing experience.”

Beyond beautiful - Leo and Demi

And, like almost every single Kindness Activist I have interviewed for this project, Demi downplayed her kind actions.  “I feel a bit sheepish receiving so much praise for doing something any mom would want to do. I did this all for my baby. Leo is the one who should be recognized for all of this. His life was so full of meaning, he changed so many lives. Especially mine.”

Thank you, Demi.  Your actions were beyond KIND.  You think “any mom” would do what you did, but it took a lot of courage and strength.  And you DID IT.  Thank you for sharing your story – and Leo’s.  May we all take a moment today to pause, be thankful, and BE KIND like you.

Little Leo

*Here is a link to the story that introduced me to Demi’s Kindness:  WOWT story about Demi

Safety Kindness

I met this woman named Kari via my sister.  Kari seemed fun on Facebook, and when I got to meet her in “real life” (in Omaha, Nebraska) I confirmed that as fact.  And I can tell you another fact:  Kari is a kind person.  She does lots of things that are just, well, KIND!  The things she posts on Facebook often inspire me (and her other friends I am sure).  She is one of those people where you are happy when you check FB in the morning if you see she posted something, ya know what I mean?  You just want to read it because you know it will be good.

This is the cool image she posted with the story that inspired me to write this piece

So, when she posted THIS the other day, about a kindness not that SHE did but that someone did to HER, I was extra happy!  Check it out:

“I'm minding my own business weed eating my yard.  As I turn around I notice this big dude walking up to me who says, "Excuse me ma'am....  My boss asked me to give you these" (and he motions over to a MUD truck as he hands me a pair of safety goggles)."

NICE SAFETY GOOGLES!!! 

Kari continued, "Well, I'm a big ol' sap and this touched my heart, so I take my hands and draw a huge heart on the middle of my chest with my index fingers and mouthed the words THANK YOU. Later he drove by & rolled down his window and smiled, telling me, "We’ve only get one set of eyes- you gotta take care of them".  How sweet is that?    XOXO”

It always delights me when people that I know are KIND themselves get KINDNESS returned to them!!!  So I put on my Private Investigator hat and got to work to find the good Samaritan who was so kind to my friend!!

I do not know if this is the sort of MUD truck that Kari saw,
but it is the only photo I can find of one online :)

First I got a couple more details from Kari – date, time, what did the guy look like, etc.  Then I called MUD (Metropolitan Utilities District in Omaha, Nebraska).  The first woman I talked to maybe thought I was crazy, but was very polite about it and suggested I leave a message on the “safety line” to try and track down the giver of the glasses.  So I left a long (ok, rambling…) message and crossed by fingers for a call back.

My phone rang about an hour later, and after a bit of phone tag, I had my answer! 

I talked to Andy Melville, a manager at the Safety Hotline of MUD.  He was excited that a MUD employee who he identified as GENE was so helpful to a member of the community.  I told Andy that Kari and I wanted to make sure Gene didn’t get in trouble for giving away the safety glasses, and he explained that at MUD they not only want to ensure their employees’ safety, but the public’s safety, too.  And he agreed with me that Gene is a great example of doing just that!  He said it didn’t take his team long to figure out it was GENE doing the good deed, and that he would be sure to tell both Gene and his supervisor how much his actions were appreciated.

SO THANK YOU, GENE.  You picked the right person to be kind to.  Almost 90 people read about your actions and “liked” them on Kari’s Facebook wall, and many more will read about them now!  You took time to help make sure Kari was safe, and your kindness meant a lot.  I don’t want to spoil any surprises, but a Kindness Activist button is on its way to the MUD office, be on the lookout for it at a SAFETY MEETING soon!   Oh, and Gene, I would love to have a photo of you to add to this story!  Please send me one at kindnessactivist@gmail.com !  

KARI APPRECIATES YOUR KINDNESS GENE!

And hey, for the rest of you reading this, go out and DO A GENE today, would ya?  Be kind to a stranger!  It will make their day!! 

Click here for more info on MUD - MUD

Equality Kindness

Sometimes opportunities to be a kindness activist just show up at the doorstep.  Some people notice them, others don’t.  Ashlee did.  But would you know what to do, could YOU be as amazing an ally as Ashlee is, if you were to make a friend that needed someone in their corner to fight for them??  I think we could all take a KINDNESS LESSON from Ashlee.

This is Ashlee.  She teaches first grade in Omaha, Nebraska.

Ashlee, a Kindness Activist Extraordinaire

She has always been an advocate for LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning/Queer) equality.  Heck, she has taken her children to march with her in the Pride Parade since they were tots!

Ashlee's kids ready for the Pride Parade when they were little

Ash and her son at last summer's Pride Parade, our theme was mermaids :)

And this is Kyawpah (sounds like Jaw Paw).  She is from a people called Karen, from Myanmar (formerly known as Burma)*. 

Kyawpah, all dressed up for a birthday party

8 year old Kyawpah came to America in 2015 and was lucky enough to end up in Ms. Ashlee’s first grade class in Omaha, Nebraska.  She was a quiet student, probably because she didn’t know English.  And she was often an unhappy student.   Her name on the school roster was not Kyawpah (the name she told them was hers) – there was confusion on the first day of school because they could not find her on the official list.  Then it turned out that there was a MALE name for her on the roster, but she calls herself the female name Kyawpah, because the “pah” part means “flower” in her native language. 

Kyawpah came with her family to the USA from a refugee camp.  She would come to school dressed as a boy, but would tell everyone that she was a girl.  She would sit very quietly in class because she knew NO English.

Ashlee worked through a translator to talk with Kyawpah’s parents.  They explained that ever since she was 2 years old, she had been dressing as a girl at the refugee camp.   They had tried to stop her from dressing that way, but couldn’t.  She would sneak out, steal clothes from other girls, and dress how she wanted to.  Her parents requested that the school “fix Kyawpah in the American way” so that she would stop being a girl.  Ashlee, though the translator, told them that they have a beautiful child, and that she is strong willed, determined and persistent.

Kyawpah would often come to school dressed as a boy (as her parents requested) but then peel off layers to reveal secret girl clothes underneath.  When Ashlee would see her in girl clothing she would make sure to compliment her on how beautiful she looked.  Kyawpah knew NO English, couldn’t speak one word, but she knew which bathroom pass was for the girl’s bathroom and she used it often J.  It almost seems to me like that was one way she tried to explain to those around her what she must have been trying to scream – “I AM A GIRL, I can’t tell you in your language, but please help me, I need someone to  support me.  I am a girl!”  The school thought it would be best if she used the bathroom in the nurses office, but Ms. Ashlee would have none of that and fought for little Kyawpah to be able to use the restroom she most identifies with, the girl’s, and won.

Ashlee quickly recognized that if Kyawpah was allowed to identify as a girl she was a MUCH HAPPIER student.  She would hold her head up, interact with other kids, assimilate into the American culture more, and learn.  She has a little nervous tic that comes out when she is forced to dress as a boy, and she was uncomfortable so would just keep her head down.  Ashlee went back to Kyawpah’s home with the translator and explained that to her parents that their child was HAPPIER and functioned better when she was allowed to be who she is.  This time the parents understood and said that their goal is to have a happy child, so they said that they support the school and Kyawpah and no longer force her to dress as a boy.

As Ashlee puts it, “I looked at her like any other child.  She just truly wanted to be HAPPY.  I need to make a successful environment for ALL children, no matter their gender or sexuality, that doesn’t have anything to do with it.  They are HUMAN BEINGS and I need to provide a safe learning environment for them.  That’s what I did for her, just like I would do for any of my students.”

Ashlee and Kyawpah, who is rocking a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt :)

She now comes to school dressed as who she is, and is not forced to hide her girl clothes under layers to peel off.  She loves painted fingernails, make-up, high heels, and skirts.  She uses the female restroom, loves to hang out with her classmates, and is learning some English. 

From what I have seen, Ms. Ashlee is her best friend at school.  Ashlee has done soooo much for her!  The most obvious, of course, is being her advocate with the school system and the parents.  But Ashlee has gone above and beyond to make Kyawpah feel welcomed and happy.  With the parents’ permission, Ash has taken her shopping for clothes, which she loves!!  I got to meet Kyawpah when she was invited to Ashlee’s kids’ birthday party.  Ash had gotten matching outfits for her daughter Tallis and Kyawpah – it was so sweet.  And Tallis let her friend play with the brand new Barbie make-up doll that she got as a birthday present.  You should have seen Kyawpah’s eyes light up when she brushed that Barbie’s long hair.  J

Kyawpah had to move out of Ashlee’s classroom into a second grade class because of her age, but all of the students in Ashlee’s class love and embrace her.  They don’t understand the concept of transgender, but know and accept their friend as a girl.  They have asked Ashlee if she is a boy or a girl, and Ashlee’s response is that they should ask HER directly, but what she feels in her heart is what she is.

Ashlee in her classroom.  She is an amazing teacher.

Ashlee goes and picks Kyawpah up from her house sometimes and keeps her for a few hours, shopping and playing.  Her parents do not know any English yet but are happy that their child has a friend.  They stand in the window, smiling and waving at Ashlee when she comes over.   And Kyawpah is learning more and more English – she can say her A B Cs and, like most little girls her age, loves to sing “Let It Go”  from “Frozen” (which I imagine she has watched a million times…). 

Ashlee recently spoke at a PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays)* meeting in Omaha to tell Kyawpah’s story.  It was very well received and I am sure inspired and helped the people who were fortunate to hear it.  I wish that there were PFLAG meetings in the Karen language so that Kyawpah’s parents could meet others who have transgender children and understand that they are not alone.    

I worry about what will happen to Kyawpah when Ashlee isn’t there to be her advocate.  Other schools and teachers may not be as accepting or kind.  My wish is that her parents, who see what a difference this acceptance has made in their child’s life, will fight for her rights.  Ashlee explained, “The hard part is, wherever she goes, on paper, she is a male.  Right now everything is hunky dory, she is fine and happy.  But at some point she will go through puberty…  And when she goes to another school, if they identify her as male, kids might harass her…”.  I hope that the children and adults she meets as she grows up will be open minded and accepting.

“The whole thing was, the school administration wanted us to treat her like a male.  The parents wanted us to treat her like a male.  But she wasn’t going to allow it – bottom line.  She wasn’t allowing anyone to treat her like a male, or call her a male.  Or keep her out of the girl’s bathroom. It wasn’t happening.  So without her strong feelings of knowing in her heart and mind that that is what she was, and being new to an American school and culture, it could have been such a devastating experience for her when she got here if it didn’t go the way it did.  But the kind of sickening thing about it is – people were more concerned about what OTHER PARENTS would say over the child’s well being.  That was disheartening…  Because HER HEART and well being is just as important as somebody else’s.  People said, ‘What if parents call and say that there is a boy in the girl’s bathroom??’…   But the thing, many of us have BEEN in the bathroom when there was a transgender person in there.  A transgendered person doesn’t have a SIGN on them that says ‘I am transgender and I am here to go in the opposite sex bathroom’.  They are doing what is right for them.  It is sad that our world still has so much work to do… ”

Ashlee’s advocacy with school officials and Kyawpah’s parents made a huge difference in that little girl’s life.  She is now happy and able to focus and learn.  Her identity is accepted without question and she can be who she is.  She tried to tell the world since she was 2 years old that she was a girl, and when she happened into Ms. Ashlee’s class someone finally heard.

When I told Ash that Kyawpah was lucky to have found her, she choked up and said, “She is not the lucky one, I am lucky to have found HER.”.  I say, they are both lucky and are a perfect match.  Thank you for being such an advocate for equality, Ashlee.  You are most definitely a KINDNESS ACTIVIST.  Your supportive and kind actions with Kyawpah have made a huge difference in not only HER LIFE, but also her parents’ lives and the other students who see your open heart and mind.

For more information about the amazing group PFLAG, see: PFLAG
For more information about caring for LGBTQ youth, see HRC’s helpful site:  HRC link
For more information on the Karen people from Myanmar, see Karen/Myanmar link

Bonus photo for anyone who read allllll the way down here to the bottom!
Here is our whole family at the Pride Parade in Omaha, Nebraska - summer 2015.
 Love is definitely greater than hate.  

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