Cot of Kindness

I asked for a cot.  But I received KINDNESS.

My sister has glioblastoma GBM), brain cancer.  She was diagnosed in July 2018, and after brain surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy it recently recurred, crossing over to the other side of her brain.  It is now untreatable.

So, while the past 17 months have been packed with trips, long talks, literally checking things off her bucket list, telling stories, laughter, and tears – her remaining time will be spent in a hospice house, surrounded by loved ones, tenderness, and many visitors.  She moved into the hospice house on Sunday and 5 family members have set a rotating schedule to spend the night with her so that she never has to be alone (her biggest fear right now).

The hospice house has a recliner in her room that folds back, but it does not seem the most comfortable way to spend an entire night.   My nephew ordered a cot to keep in the room for whoever was staying over to use, but it wasn’t arriving until TUESDAY.

So, on Monday (which was my scheduled night to spend over), I posted this message in the “Buy Nothing Traveler’s Network” on Facebook:

“Is there anyone in the Omaha or Council Bluffs area that has a fold up cot or a blow up
twin bed that I could borrow? My sister was admitted to hospice today. We are going to
be spending the nights with her there, but there is not an extra bed for family members.
We have one cot that we've ordered that will arrive on Tuesday, but if I could borrow
another cot or blow up bed here then both my sister and I could spend the night with our
sick sister at the same time. We would be very appreciative.”

I had seen many wishes get fulfilled on that site, usually parents looking for things for their kids while they were traveling, so I hoped this ask might get answered.

No sooner had a posted than responses started.  People from around the country replied saying they were so sorry for what my family was going through and that they sent love and would keep us in their thoughts.

Before long, someone offered a zero-gravity chair!  Then someone offered a hammock!!  These were TOTAL STRANGERS and they were going out of their way to find a way to let me and my two sisters have a slumber party.

Then out of the blue, a Facebook message popped in.  It was from someone I had never met named Jessie.  She explained that she is a nurse in Omaha and that her sister had sent her a screen shot of my request for a cot.  She said, “TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED”.

And honestly, even before I replied to her I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  I explained about the cot.  She replied that she didn’t have a cot, but could we use a warm meal?  THIS WAS A COMPLETE STRANGER!

All the while she had posted a note on her personal Facebook page asking HER friends if they had a cot to lend!  (I found this out later when I friended her…)  And lo and behold, one of them did, and Jessie arranged it all.  She worked late and then took time to go pick up the cot and deliver it to me at the hospice house.

A complete stranger!!

And she said we can borrow it as long as we need it.

Jessie, you might not know this, but you delivered more than a cot.  You delivered a renewed belief that people are good at heart.  You delivered an understanding that if you are hurting and willing to ASK for help, it will come.  You delivered KINDNESS.  Thank you.

Wheelchair Kindness

I wrote recently about how KINDNESS helps the giver as well as the receiver. How, “when you help others, you can’t help helping yourself”.  I was thinking about it from the GIVER’S perspective – how when I go out of my way to do something kind, I feel that I somehow get a boost from it, too. 

But last week I got to experience it from the receiver’s end, and it was lovely.

I am currently in Florida, and my sisters flew in to visit us here.  I like to make funny signs to hold up at the airport and greet them when they come, so this time I made this sign:

Waiting for my sisters to arrive - photo taken by a stranger

(One sister has glioblastoma (GBM)  – a brain tumor, that was found 11 months ago after she visited us in Florida, and the other sister has a strange laughing disorder where if she laughs too hard, she passes out!  So that is what the sign referenced.)

Anyway, we were running late to get to the airport, so my partner dropped me off to run in while he parked the car.  As I was standing in the airport, several people noticed my sign.  One was a sweet older woman who asked if I would like her to take my photo with the sign.  “Sure!” I said, and she did.  I explained what it meant, and that my 2 sisters should be arriving soon.  “Would you like me to photograph them as they walk up to you??” she asked.  “Great!!” I replied.

This is something that I often do – take photos of strangers for them.  So, to have someone offer to do it for me was so nice!!

As we waited, we chatted.  She asked about my sister with GBM.  She said that she was very sorry she hadn’t thought to bring her scooter, a mobility device.  She thought my sister would have liked to have it for the visit (the idea of my sister riding around on a senior citizen’s electric scooter made me giggle inside).  Then the woman thought of another idea; she had a WHEELCHAIR at home!  She would like to give us that for while my sisters were in town!!

Now, sometimes my sister does bring a wheelchair with her on trips.  She gets tired much quicker than she used to – chemo, radiation, and a brain tumor will do that to a person.  And she walks a bit slower than she used to, too.  But we had talked before the trip and decided that her wheelchair wouldn’t really be necessary in Florida.  It wouldn’t work on the beach – pushing a chair over sand would not work.  And we probably wouldn’t visit anywhere else that a wheelchair would be necessary, and if we DID (maybe a mall), they would have one we could borrow.  So, we had consciously decided NOT to bring a wheelchair.

But this woman was SO SWEET, so KIND. To not accept her offer of a wheelchair seemed rude.  So, I talked with her about where we might pick up the chair.  Then the topic of when and how to return it came up, and she explained it was not a loan, it was a GIFT.

You see, the chair had been her late husband’s.  He died several years ago, and she had held onto his wheelchair.  This was a perfect use for it, she said, and her eyes looked so happy to have happened upon us and found such an excellent use for the chair.

So, we accepted it.  We met her stepson in a parking lot near their home and transferred the chair into our hatchback car.  It took quite a lot of wiggling luggage and people around to make it fit, but we got it in there!!  And we brought it home with us.

The gift from a stranger - a wheelchair.  So kind.

It is an old chair – the rubber around the wheels peeled off (years in the Florida sun, heat, and salt will do that).  But it was a very generous gift.  And in accepting it, I think we helped her close a chapter of her life.  The chair had found a home.  After years of storage, it would now help someone else. 

I like to think that woman’s heart is a little lighter now.  Thank you for the wheelchair, ma’am.  We are honored to accept it.

Sisters on the beach