Happy Birthday from a Kind Kid

I have said it before and I will say it again:  KIND KIDS GIVE ME HOPE FOR THE FUTURE.

We get a lot of messages at Kindness Activist.  Things pop in every day.  Messages like:

“I have a 6 foot sofa, do you know anyone who might need it?”*

and “I lost my job and am having a really hard time, would it be possible to get some shampoo and soap?”**

and “We love what you are doing.  Thanks for making the world a kinder place”***

and “My child needs 27 volunteer hours by next Tuesday, can you help?”****

and “Is Kindness Activist a 501c3?  If so, I would love to donate and will use it as a deduction on my taxes”.*****

But we recently got a fun message, one that doesn’t pop in often.  It came from a mother and said, “Good afternoon Susan!  My 4-year-old wanted to make birthday cake kits for others for his birthday. We made 20 kits, which include everything you need for a celebration. They have: cake mix, icing, sprinkles, candles, forks, plates, vegetable oil, and a birthday card. Is this something the kindness house would be willing to share with others in our neighborhood?  If not, we can give them to food for others but wanted to check with you first.”

Isn’t that so sweet?  It turns out that J turned 4 in June, and instead of gifts, his family asked friends to bring items for birthday cake kits!  After collecting, they went to the store and he picked out all the extra things needed.  And guess what?  J met his goal of making 20 kits!

I mean come on.  How many kids would forego birthday presents for themselves to help make someone else’s birthday better???

J, you are a KIND KID.  We so appreciate you thinking of the “kindness house” and the guests of the Little Yellow Free Pantry.  Because of YOU, 20 people are going to have better birthdays (complete with candles and a card!).  You are making the world a kinder place (and at the same time, giving me hope for the future).

Kind kids are where it’s at.  Kids get it.  They know what kindness is about.

And the kind kids will soon grow up to be lawyers and teachers and doctors and electricians and soccer players and company owners and entrepreneurs and baristas…

And LEADERS. 

May the kind kids grow up to be the leaders that we need to make the country (and the world) a kinder place.

P.S. – we have enough cake kits for the rest of the summer thanks to J.

(Answers to the messages referenced above)

*We are not currently accepting donations for a Kindness Sale, but every once in a while we do help items find their way to people in need.  And when we can’t, we refer donors to other local organizations.  But please contact us and ASK, do not just drop items off without checking (unless they are for the pantry).

**”Yes!  We would be happy to give you some shampoo and soap. Do you want bar soap or body wash?  Need any toothpaste?  Deodorant?  Sorry about your job. Times are tough for a lot of people right now.  You are not alone.”

***”Thanks so much!  We really appreciate you taking the time to reach out and tell us that.  Your email made us super happy.”

****Unfortunately, we get this request a LOT. The problem with it is: the request usually comes from the parent, not the child who actually “needs the volunteer hours”.  And the requests often come very last minute.  We love working with young volunteers, but really prefer the child to ask us, and we need to plan in advance so often cannot accommodate these requests last minute.

*****”Why yes we ARE a 501c3, and as such, your donation is tax deductible!  We appreciate your support of our mission, and ensure that the funds you give will be used to spread kindness. Our email is kindnessactivist@gmail.com if you have any questions.”

 

It's (fill in the blank) Night, And You Know What The Means...

At Kindness Activist, we are always looking for new ways to spread kindness.

But we also have some tried and true kind acts that we do over and over.  We repeat them, because they are fun and the recipients love them so much.

One of our common acts of kindness is buying a meal for strangers.

No, not a meal in a restaurant.

But a meal at a GROCERY STORE!

Breakfast is served!

How it works:

My partner David and I love to grocery shop.  In fact, we went to a grocery store on our very first date decades ago!!  Because we enjoy it, we find ourselves at the grocery often.  And sometimes when we are there, if we have time and energy, and put together a meal for a stranger!

Fruit theme!

We choose which meal we are aiming for – breakfast, lunch, or dinner.  Then we get all of the necessary ingredients to make it!

Dinner is on the house!

If it is a breakfast, it might have coffee, milk, cereal, orange juice, eggs, bacon, bagels…

Hearty breakfast ready for delivery

If it is lunch, it might have salad, soup, fruit…

More of a dinner than a lunch, but comes with dessert!

And if it is dinner, we might put together a protein, vegetable, starch, and dessert.

This dinner came complete with sparkling lemonade

Sometimes we do “theme” shops – like all pink and red things for Valentines, or a bag full of SNACKS. 

St. Patrick's Day theme

Wishing you a very Aldi Christmas

It is so fun!

Someone's having hashbrowns for breakfast!

We then take a photo of the items.  Ideally, we take a picture of David HOLDING everything.  One, because it is fun.  And two, because it is funny!!  You can often find us in the aisle at Trader Joe’s, David trying to balance way too much and me snapping a picture.

See?  It's much more fun when David is in the photo...

I then post the photo on our local Buy Nothing group.  I list out everything that is in the offer and explain that we will drop it off to the person chosen the same day.  I explain that the food is not “needs based”, it is “kindness” or “magic” based, so anyone can get it.  (Note:  we do a LOT of needs based food giveaways 24/7 in the Little Yellow Free Pantry, so these special grocery runs can go to anyone!)  I also explain that we prefer to give the food to someone who has not received one of these deliveries from Kindness Activist before.

Neither of us understand the appeal of pumpkin spice season at Trader Joe's,
but we do not let our opinion yuck someone else's yum.

We then finish our shopping, check out, load up the car, and see who has commented on the post.  We choose a recipient, get their address, and bring it to them on our way home from the store.  It is so fun!

This breakfast looks really tasty to me

We have given these special meals to: tired mothers of toddlers, people who are jet lagged from just returning from a trip and haven’t had time to go to the store yet, teachers on limited budgets, people who simply love the food we have chosen, and lots, lots more.  We do these giveaways about twice a month (so often, in fact, that my phone can auto-type the posts, which always start with, “It’s (fill in the blank) evening, and you know what that means...”.

Ahh, that time Aldi had a whole POT ROAST kit!

These small acts of kindness have also allowed us to meet lots of people in the community, and see new neighborhoods.  See, the kindness is good not only for the recipients, but the givers, too!  And delivering these meals also introduces lots of new people to Kindness Activist!

Anyone hungry for a little SNACK?

We have been doing these special grocery meals for years now and I doubt we will stop any time soon.  Our Buy Nothing group has over 4,600 members, many of which are still strangers to us!  But bit by bit, meal by meal, we are meeting more and more of them.

Cheerios - they're what's for breakfast!  
(Along with lots of other tasty things.)

Each meal averages $26.00 (we are savvy shoppers).

No, I am not running out of photos yet.  Like I said,
this is an oldie but a goodie act of kindness!!

That’s not a lot of money in the grand scheme of things.

Another BIG breakfast!

But just the idea that someone else went to the trouble of planning a meal for you, and took time to deliver it.  Well, that makes these extra special.

Are you hungry yet??

Dear Mrs. Susan

Sometimes Kindness Activist funds are used in pretty simple, straightforward ways.  Purchasing groceries for neighbors in need.  Buying thank you presents for local teachers.  Surprising strangers with a gift.

But other times the money finds its way out into the world to try and right a wrong.  Repair a wound.  Or make a very painful situation just a little bit better.

That’s what happened recently when a young friend reached out with this message,

“Dear Mrs. Susan, 

One of my friend’s dad has brain cancer and today the doctor said that he might only be able to live for a few more weeks. I was wondering if you had any ideas of ways that I could make my friend feel better and not as sad. Thank you so much for your help.”

My heart ached. 

I knew the dad that she was talking about.  He was our neighbor, a very cool man who had the exact same diagnosis that my sister had a few years ago.  When I had read that he had glioblastoma (GBM) and that his wife was asking for help, David and I pitched in.  They needed rides for him to get him to and from the seemingly endless appointments that come with a GBM diagnosis – doctor visits, radiation, nutritionist…  We signed up for some shifts of transportation, and Kindness Activist donated $100 to the GoFundMe for the family.

And now my young friend was reaching out asking for ideas of how to help her friend, the man’s child, “feel better and not so sad”.  Oh, it is all so hard.

I replied to the email: “I know your friend’s dad, too.  It makes me very sad that the dr said the tumors have spread.  You probably don't know this, but my big sister Annette died of the same kind of cancer.  When your friend’s dad was first diagnosed, Mr. David and I drove him to some doctor visits for appointments.  Kindness Activist also donated to the Go Fund Me.  I like your idea of finding a way to help your friend feel better and not so sad.  Do you have any ideas what we could do for them?  

I mean, we could do something like take them out for ice cream and a movie...  Or to a play (I think they love plays, right?).  But honestly, in my experience with my sister, they might not want to be away from their dad much right now.  Knowing that there is not much time left makes you want to be sure to be there for every moment you can (in some people - maybe your friend is not like that, obviously everyone is different).  Do they like to read?  I know their mom does.

Let me know if you have some ideas, ok?  You are so smart and caring and kind.  I know the MOST important thing now is for you to be their FRIEND.  They are likely very scared and sad.  Please write me back and let me know if you have some ideas.”

We went back and forth via email for a bit and settled on a gift basket.  I would take my friend to Target, and she would choose items that she knew her friend liked.  It seemed like a solid plan. 

Until he died before we could get the gift basket together.

It was so sad.  I suspected that my young friend had not experience a lot of death or grief – not many children have.  And I imagined how frightened she must be.  I mean, if your friend’s dad can die, doesn’t that point out the vulnerability of your own father? 

She emailed again – she had seen the news about his death.  I think we both felt awful that we had not been able to make time to get the basket together, but we set a date to go shopping and her mom came along.

This child was so THOUGHTFUL.  I mean, I know that she is kind and caring, but she was so careful in choosing what to buy.  She looked over all of the candy before making selections.  She carefully debated which type of popcorn would be best, which drink (“I know she loves tea!”).  She chose a nice journal, then we debated which pens would be best and examined all of the choices.  She chose a perfect basket to put everything in.  And to finish it off – a gift card for Fortnite, which she knew her friend loved.

We checked out, they dropped me back at home.  She added a note she had written for her friend and they went to deliver the basket.  She had a plan: put the basket in front of the door, get back in her car, and text the family to let them know it was there. 

It wasn’t long before I got another email,

“Dear Mrs. Susan,

When we dropped of the gift basket I put it on their step, knocked and then ran to my car. Their sister answered the door gave two thumbs ups and a heart. After my friend messaged me and said “omg thank you!!” And sent some emojis I said “I hope you like it” and they said “I do!” I think that they really appreciated it. Thank you again for letting us use kindness money.”

Will some candy, snacks, a journal, and Fortnite make the pain go away?

No. 

But maybe it will be a reminder that the child is not alone.  That their friends are there for them, ready to listen when they want to talk. 

Because that is what friends are for.

Heart emoji.

Kindness Activist funds used:  $74.89

Worth every penny.

Kind Kids Market - May I Interest You in a Bracelet?

Whew – the first Kind Kids Market is done!  It was a scorcher of a day, and we had 2 small rain storms to deal with, but we not only survived, we THRIVED!

I know, I know, you are all curious how much money the kind kids raised.  But honestly, that is the least important part of the day, so we will get to that reveal in a bit 😊 .

Most of (but not all) of the Kind Kids who worked at the market

First – the kids.  Oh my goodness, they were fabulous!!  We had 13 participants who displayed a wide variety of products.  We had: handmade beaded bracelets with tiny beads, handmade beaded bracelets with pony beads, handmade bracelets made with rubberbands, handmade rings made with rubberbands, painted art, stamped art, fancy pretzels, cookies, muffins, banana bread, mango lassi, 2 flavors of Kool-Aid, painted rocks, lemonade, handmade crocheted hearts that could be keychains or pins depending on the buyer’s preference, handmade fidgets, and temporary tattoos – all served up with big smiles and lots of enthusiasm!!  (I hope I captured all of the booths here, if I missed one I apologize.)

Of course, I purchased quite a few items.  I mean, how could I not??  I bought a painted rock, some Kool Aid, a glass of lemonade, 2 bracelets, a ring, a fidget, a heart, and some painted/stamped artwork!  Oh, and a mango lassi!  I was a shopping fool I tell you! 

Some moments definitely stood out for me.  One was when a remarkable stranger walked past.  He had no idea this delightful market was happening, but he walked right in and approached a kind kid.  He asked lots of genuine questions and was so supportive of the artists and they were proud to tell him about their work.  Another favorite moment for me was when the oldest kid involved, a teen, ended up being the center of attention.  I don’t know that person very well, but from what I gather, they are a bit shy and reserved.  I wasn’t sure they would want to participate in the event but they DID, and I am so happy about that!  Because during a slow time of the market, this teen had several little artists crunched up around them.  The teen had pulled out their extra stash of beads and elastic and was teaching the little kids how to make things!!  And they all were loving it.  In fact, David overheard one little boy tell the teen, “You are a really good teacher”.  Heart.  Melt.  A child came up to me at one point and said, “You are doing a good job!”.  I suspect it was the same boy 😊.  I also was so delighted that a child from a family that Kindness Activist has helped in the past participated.  They were so excited to get involved, and the parent’s pride in being able to help and really give back was palpable.  I loved that many of the booths allowed customers to place custom orders and they made the items on the spot!  That is something that doesn’t happen at many markets!  I got a few custom pieces, of course.  And the other thing that really stood out to me was the parents being so very supportive of their kind kids.  It was lovely.

Events like this may appear simple.  I mean, it is just setting up a few tables, inviting some kids, and taking a few hours out of your Sunday, right?  But to make them come off well, to make it all look easy, a lot of pre-work is involved.  And a lot of day of work, too!  For this ONE EVENT to happen, this tiny 3-hour market, a total of over 86 volunteer hours were put in by 26 people.  Isn’t it remarkable to me to see it broken down like that?  Over 86 hours!  And that does not even count the hours that the kind kids spent making their things to sell!!  I do not take for granted the wonderful people willing to volunteer their time to support Kindness Activist.  Without the community, events like this could not be a success.

Ok, it is time to get to the big reveal of how much money was raised and how it will be split.  The agreement with the kind kids is that we would total all money raised and divide that in 2.  Half of the funds would go to Kindness Activist to support our mission of spreading kindness, and the other half would be split evenly among the kids who participated. 

I am proud to announce…

That the Kind Kid Market raised $573!!!

Kindness Activist will receive half, and the kind kids who worked at the event (13 kids) will split the other half.  That means that each kind kid will get $22!! 

The first participant rang the doorbell this evening to deliver the bracelet she made for me after the event (custom, of course!) and I had the honor of presenting her an envelope with her $22.  Her eyes lit up.  “That’s a LOT!” she said.  “That’s more than a whole MONTH of allowance!!”.  So sweet.

I am not sure what most of the kids will do with the money they earned, but I DO know what one sweet little girl has planned.  Daisy is going to use the money she earned to buy food for the Little Free Pantry at her school. 

Kids get it. 

Kids are kind.

They give me hope for the future.

Thanks to everyone who supported the event by volunteering, being a vendor, and shopping.  And thanks to David who was, as he always is, a great sport and hard worker.  He even agreed to wear his romper for the day. 

Happy Kind Kids Market everyone!  May your bracelets be stretchy and your cookies taste yummy.

Coffee, Stars, and Just a Touch of Magic

I got to chat with a new pantry guest early this morning.

Well, they are not a “new” guest I guess.  I mean, I have seen them before. But this is the first time they were willing to engage with me.

The interaction started like the previous attempt I made had.  Today I saw them at the pantry, and it was when I had just woken up so I had not been out to fill it yet.  Usually it is almost empty the first thing every morning, so I assumed they didn’t find much in it.

I saw them walk to the corner and stand, waiting for the light to change.  “Good morning!” I said loudly from the porch.  “Was there any food in there??”.

They turned to look at me.  But no reply.

“Did you find any food in the pantry?  Do you need something?” I tried again.

They raised their hands and gestured to me.  “Ahhh yes!” I remembered.  “This happened the last time I tried to talk with them…  Maybe they are Deaf…”.

I gestured back.  Hungry?  Food?  Drink?

They gestured something I did not understand – it looked like a number 3, then a “w” drawn in the air.

Hmmm.

I signed, “Deaf??”.

They stared.

And then they spoke. 

But they spoke very quietly.  On a busy street corner.  When I was standing on the porch – not near them.

“What?” I asked, hoping for more volume.

Again, WORDS, but what?

I hurried down the stairs, hoping if I was close and could hear, we might share a common language.

“Are you hungry?  Would you like some food?  Comida?”  I asked, adding in a couple of gestures for good measure.

“What?  Me?  Eat?” was the very quiet reply.

I tried again, and they whispered another answer.

“We have food.  Do you want some?” I tried.

“You have fruit??” I thought I heard.

“Yes, we have fruit!  Banana??   How about a cup of hot coffee?” I offered.

“Coffee??  Are you ok with that??” they timidly replied.

“Yes!  Yes!!  Coffee!  Please wait here.  If you want, sit here,” I pointed to our front steps.

“Sit?  Are you ok with that??” they asked politely.

“Yes, yes.  Sit if you like.  Coffee – milk and sugar??”.

“Yes.  Milk.  And sugar.”

I rushed in to make a coffee and gather some food that might work for them.  From their clothing and bags, they appeared to not have housing, so I chose things that could be eaten without heating if necessary, and threw in a can opener in case they needed one.  I also picked up a backpack in case their current bags were too full to hold the food.

When I came back outside they had indeed accepted the offer to sit on the steps.  And they had turned on their phone to listen to music while resting in the sun.

“Coffee!” I said as I presented the steaming hot cup and sat the basket full of food choices down.

“I have everything…  But do not have my passport…” they nervously explained.

Ahhhh, maybe that was the confusion!  Perhaps they thought they needed to register or qualify for help here.

“Oh no!  No passport needed.  No papers.  This is not the government.  Not the state or the county.  This is just us.”

I am not sure that was clear them, but they accepted the coffee and I sat down with them.

We chatted as they very carefully added the sugar and cream to their coffee.  I learned that they have two children.  I learned what country they came here from.  I learned that they are working with a great local agency to get support, but do not quite understand how it all works.

“Do you have employment??” they asked.

“No, sorry.  We do not have any jobs here.  But your case manager will help you with that.”

It was clear that they really want to work.  They were so gentle and sweet.

“I don’t want to go to jail.  When you sit, the people, the people with uniforms, they come to talk.  Mostly the police.  I do not want to go to jail.”

It’s so sad.  Horrible to have to have that constant fear of getting into trouble.

There was some confusion over how things work.  “I have SNAP.  But the card…  The card does not work…”.

I tried to figure out what the problem was, and explained if they walked to the county building just a few blocks from our home, they could get help with their SNAP card.

“No, I go there, but you have to go 5 times.  Always new people.”

And somehow, somewhere, they had learned this "fact" that they thought was true (and I guess might explain in their mind why their SNAP card is failing...):  if you find a penny and pick it up, your SNAP stops working.

“Well, this is not SNAP.  This food is FREE.  No papers.  No SNAP.  Just free,” I explained as I offered them the basked again.

As we chatted, another sweet pantry guest approached.  I made sure to offer our new friend first dibs on everything I had chosen specially for them.  They really only wanted a water, Gatorade, and the coffee.  The second guest then looked thru the loot (I had brought up really special items – a summer sausage, box of Girl Scout cookies, and more).  That person was so happy!  When looking at the cookies, they said, “Ninos!” and I smiled and said, “Si, ninos!”.  Those kids are going to be happy when they come home from school.

I needed to get back inside to start my work day so had to excuse myself.  But not before my new friend told me that I was very nice, and that they really like our “Just Be Kind” sign.

“You see the stars??” they said, pointing at the sky.

“Oh yes!  Every night.  I love to look at the stars.”

“And the moon,” they added.

Ah yes.  The stars and moon.

No matter where we live.  Whatever country.  Whatever house or apartment or street corner we call home.

We can all look up at the stars and the moon.

Before I came back inside the guest taught me a trick.  I will share it here with you.  They tell me it works even better with bigger paper, but sugar packets is what we had on hand.

I love that they shared this magic with me.  Sharing coffee is easy.  Sharing conversation is fun. 

But sharing magic??  Well, that is something very special indeed.

Happy 5th Birthday Little Yellow Free Pantry!

Who could have imagined that 5 years ago, when we cut the ribbon and opened the Little Yellow Free Pantry, it would become the symbol of COMMUNITY that it is today.  I for one would not have predicted how big this labor of love would grow.

In those first weeks the pantry was open, no one came.  No one knew the resource was available.  Cans of peaches and boxes of cereal would stay on the shelves a few days before finding their way to a new home.

We put up signs, oh did we put up signs.  We had signs in several languages asking people if they were hungry, explaining we had free groceries.  We hung signs all along our fence and at the local bus stops.

But still, few people came.  No one knew.

Then slowly, somehow, the word started to get out.  And magically, guests began to come.

And they haven’t stopped since.

I often say that people come to use the pantry 24 hours a day.  That may sound like an exaggeration, but it is not.  People come at 1 am after finishing a late-night shift.  People come at 7 am on their way to work or school.  People come at 3 pm for an afternoon snack.  People come at 6 pm to get food to make dinner for their families.

And the donations – donations for the pantry arrive 24 hours a day, too.  Often when I wake up and check the donation bin on the porch before work, there are new items in it.  Amazon and Costco deliveries come almost every day. 

It is hard to explain what the pantry means.

Of course, it is a resource for food.  That is the obvious.  But it is so much more.

It is a place for friendship.  It is a place for community.  It is a place for gratitude and acceptance.  It is a place for diversity.  It is a place for caring and a place for kindness.

I will be honest - 25-year-old me didn’t picture 60-year-old me sitting on my front porch steps chatting and serving a hot meal to someone experiencing homeless.  Or knowing how a guest who rents a room nearby likes his coffee and running down to make him a hot cup on a cold day.  Or talking with people who live in their cars or at the shelter or in a house that holds multiple generations of family. 

We have met so many amazing people through the pantry.  There’s “lentil man” – big surprise, he loves lentils.  There’s the little baby who has come to the pantry her whole life – first strapped onto her mamma’s back with a colorful cloth, then in a stroller, now walking on her own.  There’s the person who won’t take any money we offer, but happily sat with us on Christmas day just talking for an hour. 

And the donors.  The donors are amazing.  If you follow our stories, you know about E.A. Raven, the patron saint of the LYFP.  But you might not know about Pat Walkup, who donates bag after bag after bag of nutritious, tasty food.  And Whitney Engstrom, who kept sending food even after she moved to Hawaii.  And the kind person who set up an Amazon subscription to shelf stable Almond Milk to be delivered.  And “snack man” – who walks to the pantry on a break from work and fills it with perfectly arranged treats.  There are also the people who get food from the pantry, and also bring what they have to share what they can so that others might eat, too.  There’s Duffy who bakes amazing cookies to share.  The Girl Scout troops who keep us stocked in cookies.  And the many, many others who donate so much to keep the pantry alive.

And the Pantry Crew – the small but mighty group of amazing humans who keep the pantry running when we can’t.  And Danyi – who has spent HOURS breaking down boxes from donations to prepare them for recycling and cheerfully greeting guests and donors.  And the sweet people who seal bag after bag of rice and beans.  And the kind family who pours oil into jar after jar, so that donations of big jugs can help many families cook.

To most people it looks small.  After all, it is just 2 little shelves.  But those shelves feed a community.  Over $87,000 worth of food is donated and given away every year here.

But to me, even more important than the food is the people.

People who come to the LYFP get more than nutrition. 

They get respect.  And variety.  And a listening ear if they want to talk. 

That little box has changed lives.  Lives of donors.  Lives of guests.  And most certainly my life.

Happy birthday LYFP.  Here’s to many more.