Taking Attendance - Are You Present? (And More Kindness Yard Sale Accounting!!)

Remember when the teacher used to take ATTENDANCE?  Count who was THERE for the day?

I think that we (humans in general) are sometimes in ATTENDANCE, but not really PRESENT. 

Know what I mean?  I for one am guilty!  Took a long road trip this week, but how much scenery did I see (vs. how many games of Words With Friends did I play…)?  This is something I have tried to work on in my life the past decade or so – being PRESENT in moments, paying attention, getting involved, interacting, and noticing things.

In that vein, 2 days ago I posted this on a Facebook page I run called “Kindness Activist”:

“Hypothetical question: if someone handed you $50 right now, what would you do with it?   #KindnessActivist “

Only, guess what, it was NOT a hypothetical question.  It was real – a genuine query to see what people would do if I gave them $50 of the proceeds from the Kindness Activist Yard Sale.  I have had the pleasure of using some of the money, I wanted to see what others might do with it if they were given the chance to share it.

The results were confounding to me.  80 people viewed the post.  13 people “engaged” with the post (whatever that means).  And only 2 – TWO – took time to ponder what they would do with the $50 and reply.  That astounds me, because it seems so opposite of what my immediate response would be to a prompt like that!  I think if I were asked the same question, I would reply with a dozen things I would like to use $50 for 😊 . 

I thought about WHY people may not have responded.  Ideas I came up with:

•  Too busy
•  Uninterested
•  $50 was not enough money to take a break in their day to consider how they would use it
• Hypotheticals aren’t their thing
• Too much effort to think of something
• They deemed it a stupid post 😊
• They thought someone else would have a better idea of what to do with the money

But 2 people DID reply.  I considered what that might mean about them:

•       They had some downtime to think about the question
•          They like hypotheticals
•          They suspected it might not be hypothetical
•          They live their lives as present, engaged, creative, and interactive people

Note:  I am NOT dissing anyone who saw the post and didn’t reply, I just really like the social experiment aspect of it and considering the ins/outs/whys of it all.

I hope the 2 respondents don’t mind if I extrapolate a bit about them here.  

Rebecca

The first to reply was Rebecca Kinder Lahan.  I have known here for many years (she was in our wedding 😊 ).  I know her to be very creative, genuine, caring, and honest.  She is a super fun mother of 3 and is so concerned about the state of education where she lives that she ran for school board and was elected.  Plus, she and her family take a terrific photo with Santa every year.  GO REBECCA!  She said that she would use the $50 to donate to RAICES to help migrant families at the border. 

Samantha

The other respondent was Samantha Marcum Blackaby.  I have not known Samantha very long – she is the niece of our Florida neighbor.  What I DO know about her is that when her Aunt Carol (our neighbor) died and we went to Kentucky for the funeral, Samantha opened up her home to us as if we were family.  She lives on a farm and she let us throw on some borrowed boots for the mud and took us city-folk on a tour of that farm that I will never forget.  I was in a CHICKEN COOP, people!!  And the next day she cooked us a breakfast like no other – there was food for days, all of it made by her (and her parents) even though they were in the middle of grieving a dear relative.  I also know she is a very supportive mother, in love with her little nephew, has gone through some super tough experiences in her life but keeps smiling, and is an amazing 3^rd grade teacher in rural Kentucky.  Samantha said she would use the $50 to buy a pair of tennis shoes for a child she knows for the upcoming school year.

Now for the accounting part of this post:

·         

     Rebecca - $50 of the proceeds from the Kindness Yard Sale have been donated to RAICES in your name

·    

     Samantha - $50 of the proceeds from the Kindness Yard Sale are heading your way to invest in new shoes for your deserving student

And to the rest of us – let’s strive to live like today isn’t hypothetical.  Let’s engage, interact, create – be it in the virtual world or in the real one that surrounds us. 

Let’s BE IN ATTENDENCE and BE PRESENT. 

P.S. – we miiiight have bought some Powerball tickets to hand out…  I mean, hypothetically speaking, there could be a couple of chances for someone, maybe YOU, to turn into a millionaire come Wednesday June 26^th….  If you want to be PRESENT for that, comment here.  I mean, SOMEBODY’S gotta win, right? 

P.P.S. – if you would like to follow Rebecca’s lead and donate to RAICES, here is how:  https://www.raicestexas.org/donate/

Kindness Yard Sale - Money Raised, NOW WHAT?

Whew, the Kindness Yard Sale is finally almoooost over!  It actually happened a couple of weeks ago (June 8^th), but we have still been picking up from it, giving items away to neighbors, and donating left-overs to Goodwill.  I just came back from mailing an astronaut suit that was donated for the sale to be used as dress up clothes by 3 super cute little brothers, and the beautiful bracelet that a friend bought in the pre-sale online auction to her.  Tying up all of the loose ends of the sale.

Which leads up to – WHAT TO DO WITH THE $1552.76 RAISED TO SPEND ON KINDNESS???

I didn’t imagine that it would be so difficult to dream up fun, creative, and meaningful ways to use the funds collected, but it is!!  Here is a tally on what the funds have been used for so far:

·         $20 (and a welcome card) was tucked into a donation of clothes going to a family that just immigrated to the US from Albania.  A kind neighbor is helping them settle in and had come to pick up clothes for them.  $20 is not much when you are starting over in a new country, but I hope it helped them feel WELCOME and at home in America.

·         $6.99 was used to purchase a dozen roses at Trader Joe’s and hand them out to patients at a cancer center.  My sister is undergoing treatment for glioblastoma (brain cancer), so we are often at the center for her scans, bloodwork, and appointments.  While she was in getting an MRI last week, my other sister and I walked around and gave patients roses with encouraging notes attached.  It was touching – I would like to do some more of these visits and handouts.  One woman was sitting with a friend/relative in the radiation waiting room.  She was bald from treatment and had a b-i-g 3 ring binder next to her that said “breast cancer” on the top (and “&*$% cancer” on the spine).  When we handed her a rose, she smiled and teared up.  I really think little actions like that can give a person a boost of energy to get through the day.

 ·         $25 was left tucked in an envelope at the place where we get our haircut.  It was addressed to “Client of Gilbert”, and we asked our fabulous stylist (Gilbert) to give it to whoever he sees next.  This note was included: 

"Dear Client of Gilbert –

SURPRISE!  We want to help you pay for your haircut!!  Here is $25 to put toward your services today.  We love Gilbert and how he does our hair, and you must, too, or you wouldn’t be here!!

Have a great day.

P.S. – Give Gilbert a good tip please!  He deserves it."

 ·         $20 was left in the produce section at Trader Joe’s in an envelope addressed: TO YOU, TRADER JOE’S SHOPPER with this note: 

“Dear Person Buying Produce at Trader Joe’s –

SURPRISE!  We want to help pay for your groceries today!!  Eating healthy can be expensive, and you deserve the best.  So here is $20 to help when you check out.

Have a terrific day!!”.

At first we left it under some containers of mushrooms, but we watched a while and no one spotted it!  We left the store and came back about 2 hours later and STILL no one had found it!  So, we moved it to the English cucumber section, really out in the open.  Then we hid and watched and person after person walked by it and didn’t see it.  Remarkable!  How much must we all walk by in life everyday and MISS??  Finally, a shopper saw it and opened it.  The cool thing was that she was in a wheelchair, so the envelope was at EYE LEVEL for her.  I hope she liked it and used the money when she checked out!

So, $71.99 has been used for Kindness so far , and there is a lot left!  I can’t wait! 

Pssst - if you are in the Arlington, Virginia area and driving down Walter Reed/Fillmore, be sure to stop at the LINE before the corner of 2^nd and Fillmore…  Just a little hint, some kindness might come to a few drivers tonight or Friday who actually stop at the line and don’t block the buses trying to make the corner…  😊

Kindness Yard Sale - THE TOTAL IS IN!

We did it!

The Kindness Yard Sale is complete.  It was a full day, that’s for sure!  David and I started putting items out at 7:00 am, and we had not ever really finished that task when we finally closed up shop at 6:15 pm!   There were just SO.  MANY.  DONATIONS!  It was amazing!

Many neighbors stopped to chat and shop.  It was lovely!  I met some people that I had only known online (nice to put a face with a name) and saw people I hadn’t seen in a while.  I foolishly thought that once we got everything set up in the morning, I would spend the rest of the afternoon chatting, “ringing people up”, and serving lemonade.  Wrong, wrong, wrong!  When there weren’t customers, we would pop back inside to bring out more goods! 

We had incredible support from generous shoppers, much more generous that I could have imagined.  A couple of people even gave donations and didn’t buy anything!!  But counting the money is the easy part.  I think at this point it is more important to think about the day – the experience – and what it meant.

Talking with neighbors all day reminded me of the importance of COMMUNITY.  People rode up on their bikes, walked, pushed strollers…  And what a SEA of people – every age, different languages being spoken, different beliefs I am sure.  And yet here we were – most of us strangers, but still a COMMUNITY.

I had several favorite moments of the day.  One was when 3 girls dressed in PRIDE gear were on the lawn trying to figure out how to open a suitcase David had donated.  It used to be his favorite bag and he had a bit of a difficult time deciding to let it go.  He rushed down to show them how the lock worked and they were so excited!  They ended up buying the suitcase and a couple of other things so came up on the porch to check out.  As we talked they told us they are not official neighbors, but they are interns here for the summer.  One girl said she teared up when she read the sign on the gate saying the money raised was being used for kindness.  I told them about my Kindness Activist project and gave them each a Kindness Activist button, which made her cry again!  They were so sweet.  When I asked how much they would like to donate for their items, they, like many shoppers today, hemmed and hawed a bit.  It is HARD to price your own items!  So someone (I think it was David) suggested maybe $15 for everything they were getting.  They smiled and said, “Well, we were going to give you $20 just for the SUITCASE, so how about $25 for everything…”.  ISN’T THAT BEAUTIFUL?

Another favorite moment was when an early teen child came up to me and asked a bit awkwardly, “Are you having a yard sale?”.  Ummm, no kid, I just like having my grass and porch filled with stuff and walking around wearing a fanny pack…  😊  Once he was assured it was indeed a yard sale, he set about exploring.  He was meticulous in his shopping, but once he heard me mention LEGOS to a little boy his behavior changed a bit.  I brought out a big tub of Lego, and those boys, 1 probably 5 years old and one around 15, sat side by side for what was probably half an hour.  They quietly looked at piece after piece, each boy sharing so nicely and being so respectful.   

One older Hispanic woman and I found a common language even though neither of us were fluent in the other's native tongue.  I offered her a SANGRIA ICE CUBE on a hot afternoon, and her eyes lit up.  A quick nod of the head made it clear we understood one another.  :) 

It was fun to see our State Delegate (Alfonso Lopez) take a break from campaigning (the election is THIS TUESDAY) to stop by and say hi (and shop!).  Alfonso is a terrific guy – very down-to-earth and relate-able.  Don’t worry Alfonso, your sign is going back up on our fence (I had replaced it for a yard sign sale and about 15 hours after I took it down a couple days ago he showed up with a replacement sign and pronounced our corner to be the best one to post political signage). 

It made my heart happy that a neighbor decided she would tell me about a beautiful kind act she had done in secret and not told anyone else.  

I was so happy to meet a man who told me he drives by our house everyday - going to and coming from work.  He smiled and said, "You have coats in winter, yes?".  He then explained that twice he had stopped and picked up coats from our front gate in my "Project Warmth" coat giveaways!  It was an honor to meet him and know where some of the coats went and that he sincerely appreciated them. That is good motivation to continue that project when winter returns.  

And finally, a wonderful moment was when a FLOAT heading to the big Pride Parade in DC stopped right in front of our house!  It was decorated in trans flag colors and it looked magnificent!!  We couldn’t go to Pride this year because of the sale, so it felt like Pride came to us!!!  I cheered and the people in the truck pulling the float rolled down the windows and celebrated with us!  Happy Pride!

Ok, enough chatting.  Let’s get to the part we have all been waiting for:  the donations!  How much did we take it, which equals how much KINDNESS WE CAN PUT OUT? 

One moment while we unload our official yard sale fanny packs and do the math…

The Kindness Yard Sale raised $1005.46!!!!!  Over $1000 in one day!  Isn’t that remarkable!  I am so excited to see how many kind acts we can do with that money!  I never expected this to raise nearly that much.  And if I add in the money from online auctions of 2 items I did leading up to the sale and the friends who donated to give us a cushion (in case the yard sale was a flop…) – we raised a total of $1205.46 FOR KINDNESS!!!!!! 

Thank you all SO MUCH.  The smiles, the donations, the whole experience has been really heart warming.  I promise to spend every penny on KINDNESS and to report back what it was used for.

Special thanks to all of the generous people who donated items to sell.  Many of those things found new homes today!  And those that didn’t get sold today will get donated (be on the look out for tons of posts from me Buy Nothing Friends…).

Also, thanks to:

·         Kendra for the loan of the big cooler for lemonade – it was really needed

·         Marta for the hard work on translating the signage into SPANISH.  Translation is not an easy task, nor is explaining the concept of this type of sale to someone that you do not share a common language with!  Marta, we had a few copies printed of your translations and used them A LOT!

·         Amy and Michael for helping us (the earring is still elusive Amy but WILL be found)

·         Ixi for bringing us some tasty donuts from Mac’s truck!  (We hadn’t eaten anything all day yet so they were great fuel to keep up going)

·         Jay for donating so many Lego – apparently Lego unites generations (and I kind of understand more now why parents complain about Lego, I am finding bits of them in the yard and on the porch…)

·         The Buy Nothing administrator for VERY politely reminding me that I shouldn’t be talking about selling stuff on BUY nothing 😊

·         A little neighbor girl, 2 year old Ellie, who decided to give her $2 of change back as a donation.  I think she is a Kindness Activist in training.

·         Janet for the Gatorade –shoppers were delighted with it after we got it ice cold

·         And the amazing Penrose community

·         And anyone else I forgot to thank (sorry!  It is 2:00 am and I am sleeeeepy)

P.S. – Shout out to the trickster that donated an “unrated” movie (”Eurotrip”) that looks a bit “soft pornish” on the cover, AHHHHH!  Neighbors I had never met probably think I am a complete weirdo now – in putting books and DVDs out quickly, I failed to notice that this movie miiiight not be 100% appropriate.  So, I did as any good retailer would do, I DISPLAYED IT WITH ALL OF THE OVER DVDS, meaning “Eurotrip Unrated” was next to some Disney Princess movie for hours and hours until I noticed it!

P.P.S. – Does anyone want to buy a copy of “Eurotrip Unrated” on DVD?

P.P.P.S – there WILL be a video of David get pied from the Pie in the Face game thanks to friends who donated before the sale!  We need a bit of rest, and to buy some whipped cream, and then BLAMO!!