It's (fill in the blank) Night, And You Know What The Means...

At Kindness Activist, we are always looking for new ways to spread kindness.

But we also have some tried and true kind acts that we do over and over.  We repeat them, because they are fun and the recipients love them so much.

One of our common acts of kindness is buying a meal for strangers.

No, not a meal in a restaurant.

But a meal at a GROCERY STORE!

Breakfast is served!

How it works:

My partner David and I love to grocery shop.  In fact, we went to a grocery store on our very first date decades ago!!  Because we enjoy it, we find ourselves at the grocery often.  And sometimes when we are there, if we have time and energy, and put together a meal for a stranger!

Fruit theme!

We choose which meal we are aiming for – breakfast, lunch, or dinner.  Then we get all of the necessary ingredients to make it!

Dinner is on the house!

If it is a breakfast, it might have coffee, milk, cereal, orange juice, eggs, bacon, bagels…

Hearty breakfast ready for delivery

If it is lunch, it might have salad, soup, fruit…

More of a dinner than a lunch, but comes with dessert!

And if it is dinner, we might put together a protein, vegetable, starch, and dessert.

This dinner came complete with sparkling lemonade

Sometimes we do “theme” shops – like all pink and red things for Valentines, or a bag full of SNACKS. 

St. Patrick's Day theme

Wishing you a very Aldi Christmas

It is so fun!

Someone's having hashbrowns for breakfast!

We then take a photo of the items.  Ideally, we take a picture of David HOLDING everything.  One, because it is fun.  And two, because it is funny!!  You can often find us in the aisle at Trader Joe’s, David trying to balance way too much and me snapping a picture.

See?  It's much more fun when David is in the photo...

I then post the photo on our local Buy Nothing group.  I list out everything that is in the offer and explain that we will drop it off to the person chosen the same day.  I explain that the food is not “needs based”, it is “kindness” or “magic” based, so anyone can get it.  (Note:  we do a LOT of needs based food giveaways 24/7 in the Little Yellow Free Pantry, so these special grocery runs can go to anyone!)  I also explain that we prefer to give the food to someone who has not received one of these deliveries from Kindness Activist before.

Neither of us understand the appeal of pumpkin spice season at Trader Joe's,
but we do not let our opinion yuck someone else's yum.

We then finish our shopping, check out, load up the car, and see who has commented on the post.  We choose a recipient, get their address, and bring it to them on our way home from the store.  It is so fun!

This breakfast looks really tasty to me

We have given these special meals to: tired mothers of toddlers, people who are jet lagged from just returning from a trip and haven’t had time to go to the store yet, teachers on limited budgets, people who simply love the food we have chosen, and lots, lots more.  We do these giveaways about twice a month (so often, in fact, that my phone can auto-type the posts, which always start with, “It’s (fill in the blank) evening, and you know what that means...”.

Ahh, that time Aldi had a whole POT ROAST kit!

These small acts of kindness have also allowed us to meet lots of people in the community, and see new neighborhoods.  See, the kindness is good not only for the recipients, but the givers, too!  And delivering these meals also introduces lots of new people to Kindness Activist!

Anyone hungry for a little SNACK?

We have been doing these special grocery meals for years now and I doubt we will stop any time soon.  Our Buy Nothing group has over 4,600 members, many of which are still strangers to us!  But bit by bit, meal by meal, we are meeting more and more of them.

Cheerios - they're what's for breakfast!  
(Along with lots of other tasty things.)

Each meal averages $26.00 (we are savvy shoppers).

No, I am not running out of photos yet.  Like I said,
this is an oldie but a goodie act of kindness!!

That’s not a lot of money in the grand scheme of things.

Another BIG breakfast!

But just the idea that someone else went to the trouble of planning a meal for you, and took time to deliver it.  Well, that makes these extra special.

Are you hungry yet??

Dear Mrs. Susan

Sometimes Kindness Activist funds are used in pretty simple, straightforward ways.  Purchasing groceries for neighbors in need.  Buying thank you presents for local teachers.  Surprising strangers with a gift.

But other times the money finds its way out into the world to try and right a wrong.  Repair a wound.  Or make a very painful situation just a little bit better.

That’s what happened recently when a young friend reached out with this message,

“Dear Mrs. Susan, 

One of my friend’s dad has brain cancer and today the doctor said that he might only be able to live for a few more weeks. I was wondering if you had any ideas of ways that I could make my friend feel better and not as sad. Thank you so much for your help.”

My heart ached. 

I knew the dad that she was talking about.  He was our neighbor, a very cool man who had the exact same diagnosis that my sister had a few years ago.  When I had read that he had glioblastoma (GBM) and that his wife was asking for help, David and I pitched in.  They needed rides for him to get him to and from the seemingly endless appointments that come with a GBM diagnosis – doctor visits, radiation, nutritionist…  We signed up for some shifts of transportation, and Kindness Activist donated $100 to the GoFundMe for the family.

And now my young friend was reaching out asking for ideas of how to help her friend, the man’s child, “feel better and not so sad”.  Oh, it is all so hard.

I replied to the email: “I know your friend’s dad, too.  It makes me very sad that the dr said the tumors have spread.  You probably don't know this, but my big sister Annette died of the same kind of cancer.  When your friend’s dad was first diagnosed, Mr. David and I drove him to some doctor visits for appointments.  Kindness Activist also donated to the Go Fund Me.  I like your idea of finding a way to help your friend feel better and not so sad.  Do you have any ideas what we could do for them?  

I mean, we could do something like take them out for ice cream and a movie...  Or to a play (I think they love plays, right?).  But honestly, in my experience with my sister, they might not want to be away from their dad much right now.  Knowing that there is not much time left makes you want to be sure to be there for every moment you can (in some people - maybe your friend is not like that, obviously everyone is different).  Do they like to read?  I know their mom does.

Let me know if you have some ideas, ok?  You are so smart and caring and kind.  I know the MOST important thing now is for you to be their FRIEND.  They are likely very scared and sad.  Please write me back and let me know if you have some ideas.”

We went back and forth via email for a bit and settled on a gift basket.  I would take my friend to Target, and she would choose items that she knew her friend liked.  It seemed like a solid plan. 

Until he died before we could get the gift basket together.

It was so sad.  I suspected that my young friend had not experience a lot of death or grief – not many children have.  And I imagined how frightened she must be.  I mean, if your friend’s dad can die, doesn’t that point out the vulnerability of your own father? 

She emailed again – she had seen the news about his death.  I think we both felt awful that we had not been able to make time to get the basket together, but we set a date to go shopping and her mom came along.

This child was so THOUGHTFUL.  I mean, I know that she is kind and caring, but she was so careful in choosing what to buy.  She looked over all of the candy before making selections.  She carefully debated which type of popcorn would be best, which drink (“I know she loves tea!”).  She chose a nice journal, then we debated which pens would be best and examined all of the choices.  She chose a perfect basket to put everything in.  And to finish it off – a gift card for Fortnite, which she knew her friend loved.

We checked out, they dropped me back at home.  She added a note she had written for her friend and they went to deliver the basket.  She had a plan: put the basket in front of the door, get back in her car, and text the family to let them know it was there. 

It wasn’t long before I got another email,

“Dear Mrs. Susan,

When we dropped of the gift basket I put it on their step, knocked and then ran to my car. Their sister answered the door gave two thumbs ups and a heart. After my friend messaged me and said “omg thank you!!” And sent some emojis I said “I hope you like it” and they said “I do!” I think that they really appreciated it. Thank you again for letting us use kindness money.”

Will some candy, snacks, a journal, and Fortnite make the pain go away?

No. 

But maybe it will be a reminder that the child is not alone.  That their friends are there for them, ready to listen when they want to talk. 

Because that is what friends are for.

Heart emoji.

Kindness Activist funds used:  $74.89

Worth every penny.

Small Act, Big Reminder

Sometimes we all just need a little reminder of a tiny bit of kindness.  Just a small story to remind us that kindness exists in the world.

This is that story.

Meet my neighbors. 

Very special donation

Aren’t they adorable?

They came over recently to help me tie “Springtime Eggs” to our fence.  Each egg was filled with candy and a prize, and these 2 sweeties were so patient that they didn’t open any until their mamma declared it was time for them to choose the ones they would take home.

But before they got to work hanging eggs, they handed me something special.

It was so special that they had made an ENVELOPE for it!

And when I peeked inside, I found $5.

“$5??  Wow!  Where did you get that??” I asked, excited.

“Ummm, from our refrigerator,” one of them explained.  But the explanation was actually a bit confusing…  Money from the refrigerator??

Mom helped clear things up.

They had FOUND the $5 bill on the ground.  They talked about what they should do with it and decided that donating it to Kindness Activist was the best idea.

Isn’t that the kindest thing?

These little children could have spent the money on candy.  Or on a book.  Or on fries at McDonald’s.

But instead, they made a special envelope for it and hung it on their refrigerator until the next time they came to visit so they could deliver it to me in person.

Thank you, friends.  That $5 will be used to spread kindness!  And even more than that, it will remind me (and the people who read this story) that small acts of kindness go a long, long way in making the world a better place.

Looking for Momentum

Ever have times when it is hard to put one foot in front of the other and keep forward momentum?

That’s a rhetorical question - don’t feel the need to answer it.  I think we have ALL experienced that feeling.

I had it today, and a couple of chance encounters at the Little Yellow Free Pantry brought a little spring back into my step.

I was getting ready to put some things in the pantry when a woman got out of a parked car next to me.  I saw she was holding what looked like a coat, and she seemed to start off walking towards our house.

Not gonna lie, I thought, “Noooo!  We stopped taking donations for Project Warmth over a week ago!  We do not have SPACE for any more coats!”. 

But I took a quick breath.  I talked to myself (as I so often do) and said, “Susan, stop.  She is doing something KIND.  She is pitching in.  You know IT TAKES A VILLAGE.  Smile and accept this donation with grace,”.

So, I smiled.

“Hi!  Is that something for Project Warmth?” I said, gesturing to the front of our house.

She looked at me with a blank face... 

“This?  Oh, no!” she smiled.  “I don’t live around here.  This is a coat for my friend’s DOG!”

Ahhhhhh…  Embarrassing!  You see Susan, it is not all about you!  Not everyone who parks on this street is bringing something for one of your projects. 

“But, do you live here?  Is this your house??” she asked.

“Yeah, sure is.”

She took a step closer to me.  She looked me in the eyes. 

“It is an honor to meet you.  I have sent photos of the things you do at your home to people around the world, literally, around the world because I am an ex-pat.  I just love what you all do.”

There.  A spark.  Kind words of encouragement.  Fuel to give me the oomph to keep going.

“The warm clothes in front - I love it.  It’s amazing.  The sign encouraging people to take things if they are cold.  So personable and humane,” she said.

I babbled on about Project Warmth for a couple of minutes, we reminded each other of our names (hers is Jules 😊 ), and off she went to bring her friend the dog coat.

I felt better. 

Still had a headache.

Still moving in slow gear.

Still concerned about oh so many things.

But I felt better.

And then…

Just as I closed the little doors to the now full pantry, a couple I didn’t know rounded the corner.  The woman saw me and got a big grin.

“CAN I HUG YOU???” she asked enthusiastically. 

We hugged.  It was nice.

“I am in the same Buy Nothing group as you!  I got a table in there!”.

Connection. Community.  HUGS.

I grabbed a drink for her and the person she was with and got them both a little snack from the pantry, then they continued on their walk.

Such simple gestures.  Taking time to stop and talk.  Being brave enough to ask for a hug.

Simple.  But grand.  And oh so appreciated.

Our house this evening.  Peace sign from the holidays still up - but peace never gets old, does it?

We Give, We Take

Dear neighbor who just delivered a bag of coats for Project Warmth -

Thank you.

Because of you, someone will be warmer tonight.

No, not because of the actual coats that you donated.

But because you donated.

You see, at Kindness Activist, we believe that everyone deserves to be warm.  Only, sometimes that mission is hard to get across to people.  And when you walked up with your donations, I was struggling to get through to a guest.

From my perspective, this guest needed some warm clothing.  Sure, they had on a fleece, and it looked like another layer underneath.  But they were wearing shorts.  And no mittens.  And it is not warm out. 

This is a person I have interacted with several times.  They are super sweet, quiet, reserved.  Every time I ask them if there is any food I can get for them inside – are they hungry for anything specific, do they need any toiletries, I always get a gentle smile and a, “Oh, no, no no…  I am fine,” in response.  I try to explain that it is no trouble – I can just run inside and fetch what they would like.  I tell them I do it for lots of people – it is no bother.  But no.  They will choose from what is in the pantry, no matter how bare it is when they arrive (after walking 2 miles to get here I think).

So today, today was the first time I have seen them since we started Project Warmth 4 days ago.  I rushed out to greet them – then paused and recalibrated myself to be calmer and not overwhelm them.  “Hey, we have something new happening!  We have winter coats to give away – loads of them.  Neighbors donated them.  Want a coat??” I offered.

And the response was the usual, “Oh, no, no, no…  I am fine”.

Donation bin chock full of amazing warm clothing

“Are you sure??  We have lots to choose from.  Look!” I said as I rushed up to the porch where donations waiting for me to process them were in a big bin.  “This one looks warm,” I said as I held up a like new looking jacket.

“Oh, umm, no thank you.  That is too fashionable for me…”.

Ahhh yes, why hadn’t I thought of that?  This is a fly under the radar type person…  I quickly dug through the bin – I had their attention for a only brief time.  I knew if they wanted a coat it had to be now… 

“Hey – this one looks good!  And warm!” I said as I held up another choice.

They smiled at that one, so I brought it down for a try on.  We examined it together – the pockets, the special “thumb holes”, the colors…  But they weren’t convinced.  And I don’t think it is that they didn’t want it.  It wasn’t that they didn’t need it.  It was that they felt they didn’t deserve it…

“What if someone else needs it more than me??  I would feel bad taking it…” they tried to explain.

I told them the coats are for EVERYONE.  Uber drivers pull over to get a coat.  Kids.  People walking by.  Everyone.

Still, they hemmed and hawed.

But then YOU walked up.

I saw you rounding the corner with a bag.  I wondered if you would stop here.  I wasn’t sure if it was food for the pantry or something warm that you carried, but I suspected you were coming to drop off.

And you didn’t bat an eye.

You didn’t turn around when you saw the backpack on the sidewalk at the guest’s feet, heavy blanket neatly rolled and tucked on top for carrying.  You didn’t stare at the person in shorts on a winter day.  You didn’t pause.  You didn’t judge.

You just walked up.

“Hi!  Is that a donation?” I asked.

“Yup!” you said as you handed me the bag of coats.  “Thanks!”.

And you left.

Just like that.

You normalized it.

People give.  People take.

We SHARE.

Because we all deserve to be warm.

I smiled at the guest.  “See??  She probably brought the things her family doesn’t wear anymore.  Like I told you, lots of people have brought things over,”.

And just like that – it was ok to take a coat. 

It was ok to accept the gift.

It was normal.  It was life.  They were deserving and they were worthy.

So, thank you neighbor.  You didn’t know it at the time, but your donation made a difference in a life today.  Because of YOU, someone will be warmer tonight.  And because of you, someone feels worthy. 

P.S. - they also accepted a pair of warm gloves.  

This great hat was donated and will find a new home soon

Future Citizen

There are so many things that we take for granted.

Food for dinner every night.  A warm bed to sleep in.  A form safe of transportation – car, bus, scooter, bike…

And a country where we are able to get an education and live free from war.

Not all human beings are as fortunate.  I was introduced to one today (via video and text) by a friend.  She reached out to see if perhaps Kindness Activist could assist this woman.

Future CITIZEN!
(photo shared with permission)

She was a police officer in Liberia during the war.  She applied to come to the United States to work and was granted permission.

Only, coming to the United States and living in the United States are not the same thing…  Even after immigrants set foot in this country, there can be much hardship.  For this woman, “home” when she arrived in America was under a staircase.  She finally found work cleaning an institution.

She is a very hard worker and so caring of family.  She, of course, has bills to pay here in the USA, but she still sends money home to her family to help them survive.  She has also had to send funds to help cover sad things in Liberia, like family funerals.

Just scraping by – but so thankful and kind. 

She has her green card.  Has a social security card.  One thing left – becoming a citizen.  But the fees to do that, $800, are so high that actually becoming a citizen seems impossible.   

But not when kindness comes into play.

Kindness Activist is pitching in $100 towards her naturalization process.

I am giving her a Kindness Loan (not affiliated with Kindness Activist) of $500, interest free, which she has agreed to re-pay monthly for 12 months.  I will be sending her stamped envelopes with our address to make the repayments easier.

And in just one hours’ time, the friend who introduced me to her has crowd sourced the other $200 needed.

We share this story as proof that kindness exists in the world.  That people and their stories matter.  And that if we all consciously focus on being the change we wish to see, the world can indeed become a better place.

Good luck on the test, new friend.  Please let us know when you pass so we can join you in singing the national anthem of your adopted country, the United States of America.

 

 

 

 

Back To School Time - Kindness Fund Update

It is almost the end of summer, and you know what that means…

BACK TO SCHOOL TIME!

In 2022, my partner David and I went to WalMart and used Kindness Activist funds to buy school supplies for LOTS of families.  It was so fun! 

Well, we were at WalMart the other day, and saw several families, lists of required supplies in hand, scouring the school supply aisle. 

But guess what?  We didn’t approach any of them and ask if Kindness Activist could treat them with an act of kindness…

That probably sounds strange.  But here’s the thing:  offering acts of kindness to strangers can be really tricky.  There are so many factors to consider:

-         You don’t want to scare them (after all, you are someone they have never met approaching them with an offer that sounds too good to be true…)

-         Sometimes you do not share a common language, so how will you explain this situation

-         How do you choose who you will treat when there are multiple families shopping for supplies?

-         And, to us, most importantly – how can you offer to buy their school supplies without making them feel like you think they need your charity, that they are poor, that they are “lesser than”?

So honestly, it is a hard thing to do.  You have to be feeling quite brave, open, vulnerable, and willing to be told no (multiple times) to successfully navigate this one.  And this time we failed.  We just couldn’t get the right combination of courage, heart, and determination. 

It is a bit like double dutch jump roping!  If you have ever tried that before you know it is really tricky and timing is everything.  You have to stand outside the ropes as your friends twirl them.  One, two, three…  One, two, three…  You might try jumping in and get the pattern wrong.  You might get your feet tangled in the ropes.  But it’s ok.  You just get yourself together and make another attempt. 

So, we have not treated anyone to impromptu school supplies yet this year, but we DO have other Kindness Activist activities/expenditures to share!

A neighbor posted online about a young woman that she mentors through the AHC (Affordable Homes and Communities) College and Careers Readiness Program. The woman was preparing to go off to college – the first person in her family to accomplish this amazing feat.  Her mentor had set up an Amazon wish list with items that the teen’s program, the Virginia Tech Marine Cadet Program, required new students to have for their dorm room. 

Well, because of the generosity of Kindness Activist supporters, we were able to give the soon-to-be Cadet MANY things from her wish list!  We donated these things she needed:

-         2 spray-on bottles of sun screen

-         2 travel size sun screens

-         2 sun screen lip balms

-         2 USB C adapters

-         Benadryl

-         USB flash drive

-         Moleskin

-         Markers

-         And an umbrella 

For information on the AHC College Readiness Program and to find out how YOU can be a mentor, see this link:  AHC College Readiness Program

Kindness Activist funds spent - $99.55

Wish for the college bound student – OOHORAH!  You go girl!

I saw a mamma post on Facebook looking for the book “How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen”.  She has 3 little boys (one is an infant), so really has her hands full.  That was an easy wish to grant.  I just hope she can find enough quiet time to sit down and read it!

Kindness Activist funds spent - $12.14

 

A teacher was hunting for Magnatiles of animals.  She has an autistic student who loves them and knew that they would be a great reward. 

I had never heard of Magnatiles until a child asked for some a couple of years ago in his letter to Santa.  Santa bought them, I saw them, and was an immediate fan.  Those things are great!  Educational, artistic, and FUN!  They are everything a toy should be (in my humble opinion).  Kindness Activist was happy to shop for and donate these!

Kindness Activist funds spent - $42.39

 

And finally for this update – a teacher posted that they would like bean bag chairs for their classroom.  They were not fussy, said any color would do.  They were posting in a group (Buy Nothing) where people give away used things. 

But here’s the deal: teachers in America are over worked and under paid.  They often use their own money to buy supplies for their classrooms, which is unfair in my opinion.  Do doctors have to buy the examination tables for their offices?  Do bankers have to buy the filing cabinets for their documents?  Do car sales people have to buy the chairs that their customers sit on? 

No.  Yet teachers are expected to outfit their own classrooms.  Heck, I have seen teachers ask for coffee makers for the breakroom (and Kindness Activist has kitted out a couple of school breakrooms…).  It just isn’t fair.

So, this teacher was basically asking for used bean bag chairs for his students to sit on.  I did some snooping on his Facebook profile and found his Amazon wish list for his classroom from last year.  It had a bean bag listed, but also had some really cool stools…

I reached out to him and confessed I had peeked at his profile.  I explained a bit about Kindness Activist and asked if he still wanted the stools this year.  He DID still want them, but seemed a bit embarrassed or shy about asking for them.  They were more expensive than the bean bag chair, he explained.

Sir, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE.  You deserve the stools, all the stools.  And the set of posters you had on last year’s list to help make your classroom look amazing.  And a Starbucks gift card (just in case your teacher’s lounge coffee maker is broken…).

I love the colors!

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $144.15

Amount of money I wish we could spend on helping teachers have a great start to the school year:  $5,000,000

You can see the story of how we treated back-to-school shoppers at WalMart in 2022 here:  Back To School Kindness

Kind Kids - Jay and His HAIR!

Shining the light on a KIND KID today!

Meet Jay.  Jay and his family live in our community, and recently his mom Brandi posted some photos of a MAJOR KIND ACT that he did.

Before...

Jay shaved off his hair and donated it so that a child with cancer could get a wig!!

Isn’t that awesome??  I thought it was so cool that I wanted to make sure his story got told – so here it is!

Jay is 10 years old.  Every time I have ever seen him, he has had long hair.  I mean, I think long hair was kind of his thing.  So WHY would he decide to cut it all off and donate it???  I asked him that question, and the answer made sense.

He was inspired by his dad, who donated his hair a while back.  But to me, an adult making this bold, kind move and a kid going for it are 2 completely different things.  Both are kind, of course, but a kid doing it is SUPER KIND, right??

I asked Jay how long he had been growing his hair out.  He got a big grin and said, “5 years.  Half my life!!!”. 

You read that right.  Jay had been growing his hair for half his life, and he was kind enough to cut it all off so that another kid could get a nice wig.  He told me his hair was 12” – 13”, and before it was cut off the stylist put it in a bunch of little pony tails.  And then – buzzzzz – the ponies were cut off with a razor, and Jay left with a fuzzy buzz cut.

Look at all of that hair!

Jay and I talked about some of the reasons kids might need wigs, and how special it is to get one made of real hair.  “Why did you want to donate it?” I asked.  “Well, I felt bad for people who don’t get to have hair.  I just wanted to be kind, cuz I thought somebody might use it.  I didn’t need all that hair!  And my hair grows back, some people’s might not,” he said.  “And how did it feel after it was shaved off??” I asked as a logical follow-up.  “It feels way lighter!  And I’m less hot!” he said with a grin.

After!!!

And lest you think this was a “one and done”, Jay has a plan.  He is going to donate his hair every 2 years!  You read that right, his idea is, “2 years short, 2 years grow, donate,” and repeat.  Isn’t that awesome?

We chatted about being kind in general, and how fun that is.  I know Jay to be a super kind human and have been lucky enough to witness other kind stuff he has done. He told me that sometimes he actively thinks about being kind, and sometimes it “just happens”. 

In closing, Jay had some great words of advice: “If you read this story, then just try and be kind.”

If you are thinking of donating your hair, check out the organization Jay gave his to – Wigs for Kids.  You can find more about them here:  Wigs for Kids

 

And if you know of a kind human and want us to share their story, please let us know!  Send us an email at:  KindnessActivist@gmail.com .  We love to hear kind stuff!  And if you want to learn more about Kindness Activist, just look at our website:  Kindness Activist

 

P.S. - Jay is going to be rocking a "Kind is Cool" Kindness Activist shirt soon, and guess what?  It was designed by ANOTHER KIND KID, Dexter!