Forward... That's a Good Way to Go. Forward

I don’t share their names.  Never share their names. 

I typically don’t share a gender.  Because really, why does gender matter anyway? And also, out of respect.  Nothing that might make you, the reader, identify the person in the story.

But today – today I feel I must share the gender.

Because she is real.  She is sick.  And she is our neighbor.

My neighbor and yours – no matter where you live.

She is our neighbor .

I went outside to hang a coat up in Project Warmth, the winter program where we put out cold weather gear for passersby in need to take.  I heard the siren of an ambulance or fire truck, wasn’t sure which.  I didn’t pay much attention – emergency vehicles pass our busy home often.  It wasn’t until I walked around the corner and saw a man walking his dog that I took notice.  “I called them,” he said. 

I turned around and realized that the ambulance had stopped right across the street.  And I saw a fabric puddle of orange, black on brown on the sidewalk, with 2 EMTs standing over it.

“When I walked by the first time, she was sitting up, eating something,” the man with the dog told me.  “But now, now lying down…  I am not sure…”.

Fear shot through me.  Was she dead?  Just lying there on the sidewalk, right across from our house, dead? 

We both kept our distance out of respect and concern.  “I bet she got the food here at the pantry,” I told him.  “I don’t know, she had marshmallows or something…” he said.

Yes.  Marshmallows.  I had put a bag of mini marshmallows in the pantry last night right before bed.  It was a special treat, and I imagined whoever found it would be happy.

The pile of fabric moved.  The person sat up. 

She was alive.

“I need to go see if it is someone I know,” I told the man.  As I crossed, I heard an EMT tell her, “You can’t lay here.  People will worry.  They will think it is a medical emergency and keep calling 911.”

She was standing, coat hood on her head, dirty sleeping bag wrapped around.  But she was standing.

“Hey, would you like a cup of coffee?” I asked as I got close enough.

“No, no.  But hey, do you have any hot chocolate??  I have been wanting hot chocolate…”.

Of course!  The marshmallows.  She had been sitting eating the marshmallows, maybe dreaming of hot chocolate to go with them.

I ran home and quickly made a hot chocolate.  I squirted some whipped cream on it and rushed back outside hoping she was still there to get it.  She was there, but the ambulance had left.  Left her alone.  Alone, as I am sure she usually is.

I put the steaming cup of cocoa on a fence post, using it as a table.  “Here, it’s really hot, so be careful.  Would you like some soup?  I could bring you some.”

At first she said yes, but when I asked if she ate meat or not, she changed her mind.  “You know, I really don’t eat much.  Maybe just some crackers…”.

“I have crackers.  Anything else you need?  What size shoes do you wear?” I asked, looking down at her slippers with non-slip hospital socks wedged in them to try and make them fit.  She told me she was a size 6 to 6.5, and also asked for a black hoodie, black sweatpants, and black socks.  “I am not sure what I have, but I will bring some things,” I told her and came back home to look through the Project Warmth donations.

I collected 3 hoodies (none all black, but all warm), some leggings (not sweatpants, but black), some black long underwear pants, very warm winter socks, and the only adult boots I had – size 10.  I also made a basket of food choices – 2 kinds of crackers, granola bar, precooked pasta and precooked meatballs, homemade banana muffin (thank you kind neighbor for making those), fruit cup, applesauce cup, Go Go Squeezes, Goldfish crackers, raisins, protein shake, Gatorade, juice…  I tried to put in choices that someone who “doesn’t eat much” might be tempted by, knowing that she must eat.  I grabbed a new bag that zips and went back to the corner.

She was still standing.  Pacing.  She was obviously using, and whatever she was on made her have both energy (to pace) and mellowness (to lie down).  She had a scratch on her nose and chapped lips, but other than that no obvious injuries.

I laid the clothing choices out on the fence for her to see.  She picked 2 hoodies and the thermal pants.  She took the socks and the hat.  I held up the boots and explained they were too big, but they were all I had.  As we talked, a woman in an SUV pulled up to the red light and rolled down her window.  “What size shoes does she need??” she asked, having quickly accessed the situation.  “A size 7.  But all I have is a 10…”.  She sighed.  “I have a 9…”.  I thanked her and she drove off.

What a reminder that we all want to help.  All of us.  Every last one. 

We went through the food and drink choices and she took a few.  I packed them into the new bag with the clothes and zipped it all up. 

“Are you working with Path Forward?” I asked.  Path Forward is the local organization that works tirelessly to assist people on the streets.  They provide food, housing, and work to get people re-homed.

“Ahhh, forward…  That’s a good way to go…  Forward….” she said.

We all want to help. 

But sometimes there is NOTHING, absolutely nothing we can do.

And that is a hard fact to accept.

No amount of marshmallows or crackers or sweatpants or boots can make this situation better.  She is sick.  Has an addiction.  She is ill.

“Hey, what’s your name?” I asked before I left.  She told me.  I told her mine.  And I repeated hers out loud.

I repeated it as much to help me try and remember it and I did for her to HEAR IT being spoken.

She is still there.  It’s been an hour, and she is still there.  I can see her from our porch.  She is sitting – I am sure on the same soggy cardboard I saw up close. 

Only now, she has a new warm hoodie pulled up on her head.

And in her belly, hot chocolate and whipped cream.

Maybe some crackers.

Maybe some applesauce…

We all need the same things, every one of us.

We need food. 

Love.

Someone to care.

Community.

Warmth.

Safety.

And for someone to know our name.

For information on substance abuse resources available in Arlington, VA, call 571-302-0327

P.S. – Thank you to the stranger who stopped and asked for the shoe size.  I am quite certain that if I had said, “She needs a 9,” you would have pulled over and taken the shoes off your own feet to give.  Thank you to the man walking the dog who worried and cared enough to call the authorities to come check on the woman.  Thank you to those who donated food for the pantry - making it easy for me to run inside and prepare a cup of cocoa and get food options for her to choose from.  Thank you to people who dropped off winter clothing - giving her the dignity to make choices of what she would like.  And thank you to the friend who also saw the situation and took time to ring our doorbell to see if I knew there was a person in need so close by.  Thank you for listening to me and hugging me as I cried telling the story.  And thanks for encouraging me to write it. 

Kindness Activist Funds - Stories of How Some Have Been Spent (July 2025)

It’s been a while since I have shared an update about how Kindness Activist funds have been used, so today’s the day!  Ready? 

Here are just a few of the ways that money has been spent to spread kindness lately:

GARDENS!

Here at Kindness Activist, we love gardens!  Flowers, veggies, fruit trees, you name it - gardens are great!  Given that love, it was an easy decision to support 2 Arlington based gardens with kindness funds.

First – the Walter Reed Annex Community Garden.  This amazing resource is managed by a lovely neighbor, Ljudmilla.  She is a very kind and wise woman who runs this huge community endeavor.   And when I say “community”, this work DEFINES community!  Volunteers come to the garden every Saturday between 8:30 am – 11:30 am to weed, plant, dig, harvest…  Those amazing volunteers do everything GARDEN (including sweat).  This incredible resource then donates what is grown to help feed the community!  And we are not talking small donations here either.  They donate thousands of pounds of healthy, fresh produce to the Arlington Food Assistance Center (AFAC), to local elementary school food pantries, and even the Little Yellow Free Pantry is lucky enough to get veggies sometimes, too!   So, when we read that the garden was going to put up a SEED LIBRARY, well, it was a no-brainer that Kindness Activist should help out with some packets of seeds. 

Adorable new seed library!

If you or your organization would like to get involved and help garden, please email:  gardenwalterreed@gmail.com .  After all, what could be more fun (and meaningful) than getting some dirt under your fingernails and helping feed neighbors at the same time??

 

Ljudmilla in her happy place - the garden

Kindness Activist funds spent on seed packets for the garden's new library:  $117.68 

The next garden kindness funds were used to support this season is the Thomas Jefferson Community Garden, located at a middle school in South Arlington, VA.  This is another amazing local resource that not only donates produce to the community, but also teaches local children about organic food and gardening.

I learned they could use some support when I saw this message on a Facebook group that I belong to: “ISO 50’ garden hose and watering wand attachment.  I help manage the Thomas Jefferson Middle school garden and we are in need of a couple hoses that are in decent condition. If you have one you no longer need, please let me know. Thanks!”.

Thomas Jefferson Garden

Well, a garden as important and active as TJ needs good equipment.  I reached out to the person who posted asking for hoses and a wind and asked for recommendations of which ones they would prefer.  I am pleased to say that the volunteer gardeners at TJ now have 2 new hoses and 2 lovely watering wands to help cultivate their crops!

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $149.14

 

 The metro DC area has been VERY HOT this spring and summer.  This can be uncomfortable for everyone of course, but it can cause more than discomfort for people without housing.  Extreme heat can be very dangerous.  Several guests of the Little Yellow Free Pantry do not have housing, so are outside in the extreme temperatures.  Two guests were still sporting long pants in the 100 degree heat, but were hoping for some shorts to help cool off. 

 

We found some good shorts online that are comfortable, cool, and fast drying.  And as luck would have it, they came in a pack of 3.  So, not only did the 2 pantry guests get new clothes for summer, so did another person experiencing homelessness that was in desperate need of shorts.  This small expenditure will hopefully help 3 people have a better summer.

 

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $21.21

 

 

Ok, ok, ok, I did it – I clicked on a Facebook ad!  But in my defense, I couldn’t help it!  They showed it to me so many times, and, well, it looked so cool that I simply HAD to click!

 

And that “click” is how we ended up having “You Are Awesome” pop up on our sidewalk when it rained. 

 

Shhh - and now we wait for the rain...

You see, Rainworks is a product that you spray on a dry concrete surface (using a stencil), then when it rains, your “secret message” shows up!  Oh, it is fun!  I am hoping to find someone with a Cricut who can make us more plastic stencils that say things like “Kind Is Cool” and “Kind Kids Rock”.  That way, when the skies are gray and the raindrops fall, at least the sidewalks will be cheery!

You are AWESOME!

P.S. – have a Cricut and some time to create?  Email us at kindnessactivist@gmail.com!  We would appreciate some stencils for creating rainy day messages!

 

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $26.66

 

When a neighbor was looking for snacks for the teacher’s lounge of a local elementary school, Kindness Activist was quick to jump in.  I mean, if TEACHERS don’t deserve snacks, then who does??  Plus, it was teacher appreciation week!

 

The neighbor told me, “We have a project of revamping the teacher’s lounge. Sadly, the staff lounge is not at all a place for them to relax and take a break. They deserve the world”.

 

I agree - teachers deserve the world!  They work so, so hard to ensure that their students are safe, engaged in the classroom, and thriving.  Teachers deserve snacks!!

 

Teacher SNAAAACKS

This was an easy wish to grant.  As I told the neighbor, I wish we could grant MASSAGES for all of the school staff, but snacks will have to do.

 

And snacks in the Teacher's Lounge - ready for educators to come munch on

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $76.91

 

And last (but not least) for this accounting report – random food deliveries 😊 .  My partner David and I love to grocery shop (in fact, we went to a grocery store on our very first date, and we have been shopping together for over 37 now).  So, often when we go to the store, we spring a special grocery delivery on a neighbor (usually people we have never met).  It works like this:

 

We do 2 shops – one for us, and one for a random person.  We separate the items in our cart – “ours” and “theirs”.  Then we take all of “their” items out of the cart and take a photo of David holding everything.  It is quite funny (and tricky to find a way for him to hold it all without dropping it).

 

Then I post in a local Facebook group:  “It’s (insert day of week) night and you know what that means…  Kindness Activist would like to deliver (insert meal – breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks… here).”

 

Then we list everything included in the offer. 

 

The post continues: “Person chosen must be available via Facebook messenger to arrange delivery to take place before (insert time). Preference given to someone who has not received a meal delivery from Kindness Activist before. Person chosen must come out to our car (in front of where you live) to pick up when we pull up.   Not necessarily giving to the first person who responds.”

 

I post, we wait a bit for responses, then choose someone who we have never treated before!  We bring the groceries to their home and get to meet them, which is always fun!  We really like doing these deliveries and the recipients are always very grateful.

 

Here are a few we have done recently:

 

 

Red, White, and Blue edition for 4th of July

 

Breakfast edition

 

Snack edition

Breakfast again

Green edition for St. Patrick's Day

Average cost of each surprise grocery delivery: $35

 

Thanks for following along in the Kindness Activist journey.  We believe that spreading kindness makes the world a better place, and we appreciate the love, encouragement, and support we receive from the community. 

 

Together, we can make the world kinder.  One little act of kindness at a time.

We Give, We Take

Dear neighbor who just delivered a bag of coats for Project Warmth -

Thank you.

Because of you, someone will be warmer tonight.

No, not because of the actual coats that you donated.

But because you donated.

You see, at Kindness Activist, we believe that everyone deserves to be warm.  Only, sometimes that mission is hard to get across to people.  And when you walked up with your donations, I was struggling to get through to a guest.

From my perspective, this guest needed some warm clothing.  Sure, they had on a fleece, and it looked like another layer underneath.  But they were wearing shorts.  And no mittens.  And it is not warm out. 

This is a person I have interacted with several times.  They are super sweet, quiet, reserved.  Every time I ask them if there is any food I can get for them inside – are they hungry for anything specific, do they need any toiletries, I always get a gentle smile and a, “Oh, no, no no…  I am fine,” in response.  I try to explain that it is no trouble – I can just run inside and fetch what they would like.  I tell them I do it for lots of people – it is no bother.  But no.  They will choose from what is in the pantry, no matter how bare it is when they arrive (after walking 2 miles to get here I think).

So today, today was the first time I have seen them since we started Project Warmth 4 days ago.  I rushed out to greet them – then paused and recalibrated myself to be calmer and not overwhelm them.  “Hey, we have something new happening!  We have winter coats to give away – loads of them.  Neighbors donated them.  Want a coat??” I offered.

And the response was the usual, “Oh, no, no, no…  I am fine”.

Donation bin chock full of amazing warm clothing

“Are you sure??  We have lots to choose from.  Look!” I said as I rushed up to the porch where donations waiting for me to process them were in a big bin.  “This one looks warm,” I said as I held up a like new looking jacket.

“Oh, umm, no thank you.  That is too fashionable for me…”.

Ahhh yes, why hadn’t I thought of that?  This is a fly under the radar type person…  I quickly dug through the bin – I had their attention for a only brief time.  I knew if they wanted a coat it had to be now… 

“Hey – this one looks good!  And warm!” I said as I held up another choice.

They smiled at that one, so I brought it down for a try on.  We examined it together – the pockets, the special “thumb holes”, the colors…  But they weren’t convinced.  And I don’t think it is that they didn’t want it.  It wasn’t that they didn’t need it.  It was that they felt they didn’t deserve it…

“What if someone else needs it more than me??  I would feel bad taking it…” they tried to explain.

I told them the coats are for EVERYONE.  Uber drivers pull over to get a coat.  Kids.  People walking by.  Everyone.

Still, they hemmed and hawed.

But then YOU walked up.

I saw you rounding the corner with a bag.  I wondered if you would stop here.  I wasn’t sure if it was food for the pantry or something warm that you carried, but I suspected you were coming to drop off.

And you didn’t bat an eye.

You didn’t turn around when you saw the backpack on the sidewalk at the guest’s feet, heavy blanket neatly rolled and tucked on top for carrying.  You didn’t stare at the person in shorts on a winter day.  You didn’t pause.  You didn’t judge.

You just walked up.

“Hi!  Is that a donation?” I asked.

“Yup!” you said as you handed me the bag of coats.  “Thanks!”.

And you left.

Just like that.

You normalized it.

People give.  People take.

We SHARE.

Because we all deserve to be warm.

I smiled at the guest.  “See??  She probably brought the things her family doesn’t wear anymore.  Like I told you, lots of people have brought things over,”.

And just like that – it was ok to take a coat. 

It was ok to accept the gift.

It was normal.  It was life.  They were deserving and they were worthy.

So, thank you neighbor.  You didn’t know it at the time, but your donation made a difference in a life today.  Because of YOU, someone will be warmer tonight.  And because of you, someone feels worthy. 

P.S. - they also accepted a pair of warm gloves.  

This great hat was donated and will find a new home soon

A Bit of Hope in the Cold

If you ever had any doubt whether donations to Project Warmth are needed or not, let me set the record straight.

We just had a guest who made me cry.

They are houseless.  They live in a tent.  They told my partner David the general vicinity of where it is once, and one day we went to check it out and say hello.  They were not home, but we got to see it.

It is a small tent.

Down a steep embankment.

Next to a stream.

In a little “forest” if you will.  With homes on the other side of the hill.

In the summer it might be a beautiful little setting – the creek splashing, birds singing…  A get-away from the hustle and bustle that is all around us.

But it is not summer.  It is bitterly cold here.  It’s so cold that the local public schools started 2 hours late today so the kids didn’t have to stand outside waiting for the bus in the worst of it.

I hadn’t seen this guest since Christmas day.  We gave them one of the holiday gift bags I think, I hope we did anyway, it’s hard to remember now.  I hadn’t seen them since December, but I certainly have thought of them.

“I hope they have gone into the shelter and are not still in the tent…” I thought.  “Surely they have gone indoors for THIS – the ground is covered in ice and snow.  They can’t possibly still be in the thin tent…”.

But they can still be in the tent.  And they are.

I saw them at the Little Yellow Free Pantry today and ran out to see if they needed anything.  They had finished and were walking down the sidewalk, so I had to yell to get their attention.

When they turned around, they smiled.

“I have not seen you in a long time – HAPPY NEW YEAR!” I greeted them.

Then, in their quiet voice with the beautiful French accent, they said, “Yes, I have not seen you.  I came many times, but you were not here.  I changed the times of my visit to see you, but you were gone.  I thought maybe a holiday?”.

Yes, my friend, a holiday.  To someplace warm. 

Talk about privilege…  I left my warm home, the one with the soft bed and the heated blanket, and flew to Florida.  There I walked on the sandy beach.  I lie in another soft bed.  I rested.  I recharged.

While this person shivered in a tent.

They had already found food in the pantry today (they collect food not only for themselves, but also for another person experiencing homelessness that is not healthy enough to come).  But PROJECT WARMTH has begun.  Warmth. 

“Have you moved inside??” I asked hopefully.

“No, no I have not,” they replied quietly.

Their hands were uncovered.  They stood holding their bag of food with cold, cold hands.

“Do you have mittens??” I asked.

“No, no I do not,” they told me.

If we gave them a gift bag there was a pair of stretchy cotton gloves inside, but those are not really warm, and this person had probably given them as a gift to his friend. 

“Sit here on our steps!  I will go get gloves.  I will be right back,” I told them.

When I returned with the first load, a neighbor and her child had arrived.  They were bringing a tiny snowsuit to donate.  It was touching - seeing a donor and a recipient both standing in the sunshine on the freezing sidewalk.

I presented the guest some amazing gloves someone had donated - black ski gloves that looked very, very warm.  “What about these?” I asked.  “Will this work for you or your friend??”.  Those were a resounding yes.

More trips inside and back out.

Sweatshirts.  Warm socks.  Hat (we only had one good hat at the moment, the others were too small, the rest are at the storage unit and need to be retrieved).  Long underwear shirt (which I had to explain, apparently those are not a thing in their home country).  Scarves.  A neck warmer.  And COATS.  For him – a big fluffy black coat with a warm hood.  For his friend, a tan coat with a sherpa-like lining.

So today, they left with two big bags.  One filled with food.  One filled with clothing. (And wearing their new coat, hat, and gloves.)

But this project may have the wrong title.  For as thick as those items are, I doubt they can bring warmth in this weather. 

But they will bring a bit of shelter from the cold.  A bit of comfort.  And perhaps a bit of hope.

Hope that spring will come early this year.

Hope that the snow will melt and the stream begin to babble again.

And hope that someday for them as it is for me – there will be a warm house with a soft bed.

Hope. 

Holidays Are For Everyone

In this season of plenty, this time of excess – lights, music, cookies, candy, wrapping paper, bows, turkeys…

It is easy to forget that there are some who have nothing.

And for them, instead of a season of joy and song, this season is one of cold. 

It’s easy to forget them.  And for some, sometimes easier to ignore them. 

Because acknowledging them means acknowledging the inequity in our country.  The sad reality that some have much, and some have none. 

We live in the 7^th wealthiest county in America, Arlington, Virginia.  The average median income here is $132,380.

Yet, there are people who come to the Little Yellow Free Pantry outside our home 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 

Some of our visitors have housing.  They may rent an apartment for their family.  Perhaps they are working 2, maybe 3 jobs.  But still that is not enough income to pay the rent, the utilities, the gas, and put food on the table.

Some of our visitors rent a room in a house.  They have a bed, a bathroom, but no access to a kitchen, only a small fridge, microwave, or hotplate in the room.

Some of our guests live in their cars.  One lives in his van – lost his home in a fire and had no insurance.  With these people, we see the back seats filled with all of their belongings – coat, pillow, food, toilet paper.

And some of our guests have no indoor place to call home.  They live in the woods, on the street, in a bus stop, in a store front after the business closes for the night.

It is COLD these days.  Tonight the low is 36 degrees, tomorrow 32.  Some people go into the shelter for the night but others brave the weather and stay outdoors.

During these cold spells, sometimes I quietly complain about having to go out and put food in the pantry.  On days it is raining, or the steps are icy, I sometimes get cranky.  Then I think, “Susan, you will be outside in the freezing weather for 5 minutes.  The people who need this food may be out in it all night.  Get to work”.

One of our guests is a very mild mannered, quiet, polite person who is experiencing homelessness.  They immigrated to America, and I am quite certain that living on the street is not what they imagined when they dreamed of a new life here.  They come for food and if I see them, I make sure to go out and talk and make a special bag for them.  You see, they collect food not only for themselves, but for another person who does not have housing and lives outdoors but is not healthy enough to come to the pantry. 

Yesterday when they came I noticed they had no gloves, no mittens.  “Your hands are cold!  Do you have mittens?” I asked.  “No ma’am, I do not,” they told me.

I had just given them a holiday gift – one for them and one for their friend.  And inside it – gloves.  They didn’t know it yet, but they had gloves…

You see, last month I begrudgingly took on a project.  I didn’t want to do it, just like sometimes I do not want to brave the cold to fill up the pantry.  But someone from a local synagogue reached out and asked if there was something they could do to help Kindness Activist.  They wanted to do a mitzvah.  But they had specific parameters and if it was to happen, it would be me who would have to organize it.

Only, I was in the midst of the Santa Project.  And the advent/countdown calendar.  And work.  And the usual tasks of life like paying bills and replying to emails.  And I didn’t think I could add another thing to my already full plate.

But I took a step back and looked at it all.  Here was a group of people who really wanted to help, they just needed a prompt, a mission.  Like so many, they wanted to get involved and give back but they weren’t sure how to do it.

So, I set about planning.

I decided that gifts for people experiencing homelessness would be perfect.  And not just any gift.  At the holidays many people are generous and hand out food or stocking hats or socks to people who are homeless.  But no – these needed to be PROPER PRESENTS.  Respectful gifts.  Gifts that would be useful but also acknowledge the recipient’s humanity, not just their need.

I asked the person from the synagogue if they would be willing to wrap the gifts.  Kindness Activist would supply everything – wrapping paper, boxes, tape, presents – they simply needed to provide the effort (and the scissors).

On December 15^th they set to work making gift bags for 20 people.  In the bags are:

A stocking hat

A flashlight

Extra batteries

Lip balm

Beef jerky

A Starbucks canned drink

A deck of cards

Nail clippers

Tic Tacs

A chocolate bar

A pair of socks

Hand warmers

A pen

A notebook

A bag of Hershey kisses

And a holiday note or drawing from a local child

The volunteers wrapped each of the items so that the people who got them would have lots to open.  They lovingly put them into big, beautiful bags. 

And this week I got to hand out the first 2. 

The person was happy to receive them.  They didn’t have any idea what was inside and used the pretty bags to carry all of the other groceries they got – soup, meat, fruit, drinks, cookies.  I like to imagine what they must have thought when they got back to their spot and took a peek inside.  Did they open all of the gifts at once?  Did they savor them and open one per day? 

We have 18 more bags to hand out today and tomorrow.  I know one goes to the person who has no housing who comes to the pantry and I make coffee for – no sugar, just milk.  Last time they came they, like the other guest, had no mittens or gloves.  But in the freezing cold we saw that their hands were covered in nylon men’s socks.  Those could not provide much warmth but they are better than hands exposed to the frigid air.  It is not easy holding a piping hot cup of coffee and a cup of hot soup with socks on your hands, but they managed.

I am grateful.  Grateful for my home and my pillow and my running water and my mittens.

And I am embarrassed.  Ashamed to have so much when some have so little.

So I will share these gifts.  I will spread a message of happy holidays. 

And I will hope for better days ahead for these friends.

Special thank you to Congregation Etz Hayem for reaching out, wrapping many gifts, and helping make the holiday season a bit more bright for some members of our community.  And special thanks to the children who made artwork to be included in the packages.

Kindness Activist funds used:  $320.75 ($16.04 per gift)

The reminder that we all deserve joy and a little gift: priceless

To Be Known

Met someone new tonight.

We were sitting outside on the porch steps sorting items for our big sale.  A person pushing a baby stroller, sans baby, rounded the corner.  We smiled and said hello and instead of walking by, they came up to us.

 

“Just got out of the hospital,” they told us.  It wasn’t until half an hour later that they showed us the still clean hospital band.  But when they said “just got out”, I think they meant JUST got out.

 

We had a nice chat.  Well, mostly we listened.  The stories were a bit confused but if we paid attention we could follow.  The most pressing issue seemed to be diabetes.  In the beginning of the story, we thought they had recently been diagnosed with diabetes, so expressed our sadness at that.  But then the tale turned, and they DIDN’T have diabetes after all.  We expressed our relief.  Only, then they announced that they were going to sue the hospital for giving them an illegal shot of insulin that “gave them” diabetes.  Ahhh, back to expressing regret.

 

I asked if they were hungry and they said yes.  “What would you like?” I asked.  “Oh, anything you’ve got!!” they told me.  We had already talked about them not having housing, so I figured something warm would be a treat.

 

I was ready to leave David to chat while I went down to make the guest dinner.  I told them it would take about 5 minutes and they said, “No worries!  I will look at my “Little House on the Prairie” book.  They held up a special edition magazine featuring the actors from the TV show “Little House on the Prairie”.  Flashbacks to watching Laura and Nellie and Ma and Pa.  But a total surprise as reading material for this guest.

 

I popped inside to make dinner.  Hormel Completes are excellent in these situations – all you have to do is microwave them for 60 seconds and they are ready to go.  I chose a meatloaf and mashed potatoes meal and put it in to heat.  I also started to brew a cup of coffee, the requested drink.

 

And I set about looking on the pantry shelves to find food suitable for this guest.  A guest who had everything they owned in a baby stroller, and who may (or may not…) have diabetes.

 

I filled a bag with: crackers, meat stick, jerky, toothpaste, toothbrush, canned mangoes, can of ham, Spam, can of sardines, nail clippers, jar of instant coffee, Sun Chips, and a can opener.

 

I balanced all the items and went out to present the meal.  They were very happy with the choice and I joked about what a “good cook” I am.  I explained that I had collected some things they might want, and they could say yes or no for each item.

 

Well, every single thing I took out of that bag was met with a smile and a big YES.  And I realized – ahhhh.  They have been in the hospital.  I bet they lost everything they had during that experience and now are having to collect it all again.  Hard.

 

They stayed and chatted for quite a long time.  They are a veteran – Marines.  Had been stationed in Germany.  Don’t like to be in large groups because loud noises disturb them.  From the south.  Lost a brother to drugs. 

 

I think really, they just wanted someone to listen.  To sit in the sunshine with cars passing by and listen, without judging.  Without advising. 

 

And isn’t that what we ALL want?  One of our favorite singers, Carsie Blanton, has a hauntingly beautiful song called, “Isn’t It All You’ve Ever Wanted”.  The lyrics are:

 

TO BE KNOWN

all the melancholy on the wind
low as a prayer spoken
you feel it blowing through you
everywhere your heart is broken
haunts you like a shadow when
you’re walking through the city on you own

all the ghosts who holler in the night
will try to make you lonely
and when in desperation
someone says that you’re the only one they want
you’ll go to sleep beside them
but you’ll wake up all alone

isn’t it all you ever wanted to be known?

remember when you thought
somebody else was waiting for you
and all the emptiness would end if only they’d adore you
how you had a child’s way of dreaming
don’t you miss it now you’ve grown

and isn’t it all you ever wanted to be known?

all the melancholy on the wind
you feel it shuffle through ya
how it breaks you open
til you’re singing hallelujah
never know the gravity of grace
until it hits you like a stone

isn’t it all you ever wanted to be known?

 

 

When it was time to make their exit, our new friend told us we were “family” now.  They packed up their new treats carefully and told us about a great spot they had found to score free stuff.  They had seen the sign for the upcoming sale and said they would see us there.  They invited us to attend an event this month about overdosing where they would be giving out $50 gift cards.  They told us they were going at 3:00 pm to get in line (several hours before the event) to make sure they were one of the first 100 people and get a gift card. 

 

We took the empty coffee cup and dinner plate back and said goodbye.

 

I think we will see them again. I hope they come back. 

 

I mean, we are family now, right?

 

To hear Carsie singing “To Be Known”, click here:  Carsie Blanton To Be Known

 

Special thank you to the donors who graciously give food so that we can have the honor of handing it out.