Chalk It Up To Kindness

One of the primary purposes of Kindness Activist is to show how KINDNESS RIPPLES.  When people talk about kindness – share it with others – it ripples…  I believe that the people who hear about the kindness are subconsciously affected.  Kindness moves more to the forefront of their mind, and therefore, they are more likely to DO something kind.

But the recent ripple I witnessed was much faster and more intentional than I remember seeing!  It was a beautiful, sweet, ripple of KINDNESS!

Photo of original chalk art in the community (not the artwork that was washed away).  Photo credit unknown.

It all started with CHALK.  A family in my community (Arlington, Virginia) had chalked Black Lives Matter statements on their driveway.  Someone in the neighborhood was apparently offended by the chalk art, and they called in to report it and ask that it be removed. 

That someone would be offended by a child’s CHALK ART speaks volumes to how tense our society is right now.  Anyway, the county sent workers out and told them that they HAD to remove the drawings.  To add insult to injury, this all happened on June 19^th (Juneteenth), th holiday that celebrates the day the slaves in Texas finally received the news that they had been proclaimed free 2 and a half years earlier.  And even worse, the county employees who were dispatched to erase the work were African American…  (Link to the story about the incident here: Washington Post story on this incident)

Chalk art on a sidewalk in Arlington.  Photo credit unknown.

As word got out throughout the neighborhood, people were livid.   Arlington is a very diverse and progressive community and this type of hatred and intolerance are not in tune with “the Arlington Way”.  So, neighbors reacted in an amazing manner – they went to the girl’s neighborhood and chalked and chalked and chalked!  Her artwork doubled, tripled, grew into many many many times larger than the original pieces as more and more families added to the messages.  People throughout Arlington joined in and chalked their own sidewalks and driveways.  It was a glorious show of support.

A simple and sincere message.  Photo credit unknown.

I wanted to help out, so we went to Target to buy some chalk sets to share.  I hosted a Kindness Yard Sale last summer where all proceeds raised went to spread kindness, and I had a little bit left in the “Kindness Bank”.  I bought all the sidewalk chalk Target had left – 3 sets.  I am guessing they had a big run on it after the Juneteenth incident!!

This was the only sidewalk chalk I cuold find at Target 2 days after the drawings were destroyed

Then I posted in a Facebook group asking who would like some chalk to write their messages of support.  I delivered the 3 sets of chalk – one to a neighbor I know who asked for some, and 2 sets to people I do not know.  At one house the mom told me it was going to be her daughter’s 6^th  birthday soon.  She sent me this sweet message:  “Any chance you would be inclined to do sidewalk art with us on Wednesday?  Our girl is turning 6 on Saturday and we’re looking for creative ways to teach her some community members want the best for everyone."  I couldn’t join them in their drawing because I had to work, but was so honored to be invited.  At another house, the three little girls had come up with what they wanted to chalk, “We are all children of God” and draw a bunch of people holding hands.  More positive messages of equality!!

Let FREEDOM ring indeed!  Photo credit unknown.

But that is not the kindness I wanted to write about here.  What happened NEXT is what I love.  A person who I only know through a Facebook group sent me a message saying that she would like to help me spread the chalk messages.  She asked for my address and today, THIS CHALK ARRIVED via Amazon!  Isn’t that fantastic?  It was an immediate ripple!!!  Giving away chalk resulted in having MORE chalk to give away!  And that is perfect because tomorrow has been declared Chalk for Justice in Arlington and people are going to hit the pavement with chalk!!  I can’t wait to see the drawings and quotes.

(Edit - after I wrote and published this story, ANOTHER Amazon delivery came!  The kind stranger sent 3 sets of sidewalk chalk!!)

MORE CHALK TO SHARE!  Sent from a kind stranger.  

See how quickly the ripples can happen??  It doesn’t take tons of money (I only spent $30.74 on 3 sets).  It doesn’t take a lot of time (I just bought the chalk, posted about it, and delivered it to 3 houses).  It doesn’t take a lot of effort.  What it takes is heart.  Small acts of KINDNESS can cause big ripples.  Ripples that can reach out into the community and spread…  Spreading kindness everywhere they touch.

What can YOU do to start a ripple today?

Black Lives Matter.  Photo credit unknown

Belief In Kindness RESTORED

Here is a strange thing about kindness: sometimes the most UNKIND action can, in the end, lead to a KIND ACTION.  This happened to me a couple of months ago.

We live on a super busy street corner right outside Washington DC.  I sometimes have posters and signs up on our fence for passersby to see.  But twice, signs were stolen from our property.  Twice!  The first time I was mad, but the second time I was so angry!!  I mean, these signs were not offensive, they were not blocking anyone’s view, and they were MINE, and people STOLE THEM.  Some people tried to say they might have “blown away” (no), that someone might have “liked them so they took them to put up at their own house” (ummm, negative…) or that the county might have “taken them down” (NO).  When the second sign was stolen the jerks* who took it threw the metal sign holder down a few feet away on our sidewalk and left it there!  That is not something the county would do, or someone “borrowing” the sign to use in their own yard (and, by the way, who would do that??).)  No, this was clearly vandalism, and the fact that someone could be so callous as to rip-off signs about kindness honestly made me doubt my belief in kindness as a philosophy.

First this sign was stolen.  It was made by my brother-in-law shortly after
the election when we had a sign painting/dinner party.

This THIS sign was stolen.  It only hung a few days before someone was apparently so "offended"
by it that they ripped it down (link at bottom of post to order your own sign!)

To try and sort through my own feelings, and to loudly proclaim to the haters that they had not “won” this battle of the signs, I got the paint out and made a new sign:

My "kindness fighter", David, by the newest sign.  

Yes, in this one I announced to all passersby that vandals had taken my sign, but that I still believe in kindness.

It made me feel better to hang the new sign, and I wondered if the thieves would see it and rip it off, too.  It has been hanging for over a month now and has not been vandalized or stolen (yet). 

Making and displaying the new sign made me feel a little less violated.  And then something downright amazing happened that wholly restored my believe in the kindness of strangers.  I found THIS NOTE on my porch:

ISN'T THIS AN AMAZING ACT OF KINDNESS??

And with the note, was THIS SIGN!!

No matter where you are from, we're glad you're our neighbor
(link at the bottom of the post if you want to order a sign like this one!)

A complete stranger had seen my sign, stopped, and given me a brand new sign to hang!!!  ISN’T THAT SO KIND???

I called Jessica (she had put her phone number on the note) and we talked.  What a sweetheart!!!!  I asked if I could write about her kindness here, and she agreed.  Here is what she told me:

She had bought not one but TEN signs from a man who wants to cover the city in welcoming signs. She said, “I figured I'd buy extras and give them to friends. The divisiveness in the media and during the election (and after) was really getting to me because I could only imagine how it was making some of my neighbors and friends feel. I wanted to do whatever I could to reinforce that wasn't how I felt.”  What an awesome idea – buying signs for friends to share the kindness!!  I love it!!

This is Jessica- a kind, kind person!

Jessica told me that she had overestimated how many signs she needed to give to her friends, so she had an extra one sitting in her car.  I asked how I happened to be lucky enough to receive one of the signs, and I love how she explained what happened, “I was sitting in traffic southbound on your road, and the words EQUALITY and KINDNESS caught my eye. When I read the sign, I thought how shitty it was for someone to steal a sign, so I made a quick u turn and dropped off the sign. It felt like the right thing to do, and I figured the sign wasn't helping anything sitting in my car : ) .”  I was the only stranger she graced with a sign!  And let me tell you, I was most certainly a happy recipient!   

I asked her how it felt to leave the sign on my porch.  I mean, she didn’t know me, and I didn’t know her, and here she was writing me a note and giving me a gift.  She said, “I was a little nervous. That probably sounds silly, but with the current political climate, you never really know. I figured I was doing a good thing and the worst thing that would probably happen is someone would yell at me so I decided to go for it. I was a little sad when I drove back by and didn't see the sign up and hadn't heard, but knew what I had done was coming from the right place, so I had almost forgotten about it when you called me; it was a very nice surprise.”

(What she didn’t know about me is that I am very slow to get things done…  I am sorry I made you sad by not hanging the sign right away, Jessica!  Actually, I have been nervous to hang signs, afraid they would get stolen.  But I figured out a new system to hang them more securely now so they are harder to get off the fence.  😊.)

OK, one more twist to the story.  It turns out that a couple of weeks earlier I had actually PURCHASED the exact same sign that Jessica gave me.  I bought one when the local Unitarian Universalist Church (in Arlington, VA) sent a message out offering to place a bulk order if anyone wanted to purchase one.  So, I HAD ONE, but had been too scare to hang it lest it get stolen.  I explained that to Jessica on the phone and asked if she would rather I give the sign she gifted me back to her so that she could re-gift it, or if I should pass the kindness on to someone else.  She said I should give the sign away, and yesterday the perfect opportunity to do that presented itself!!!

I was out watering plants on the front porch when a very sweet young lady on a bike stopped in front of our house.  She introduced herself as Emma and told me that she bikes by our house often and loves our garden and our signs.  We talked a while and I could tell she was a very kind woman, a neighbor who I had never had the pleasure of meeting.  Since she liked our signs, I asked if she had one of the “welcome neighbor” signs in her own yard.  When she said she did not, I asked if she would like one, and her eyes lit up.  I gave her the extra sign that Jessica had given me, and off she biked toward home to put it in her yard.  And thus, the message of kindness and acceptance spread a few blocks further in this world.

The sign found a perfect home!

I.  Love.  Kindness. 

The whole premise of this project, Kindness Activist, is that hearing about/seeing/reading about kindness inspires others to be kind.  I truly believe that.  So, go out and spread some kindness today, won’t you.  And tell me about your kindness, so I can share you story!  Send me a message on Facebook (Kindness Activist) or shoot me an email at kindnessactivist@gmail.com .  I would love to hear more stories of kindness and pass them on in the world.

Thanks!

Bonus photo!  We swung by my new friend Emma's house and she ALREADY HUNG THE SIGN!

P.S.- If you would like to order a "In This House We Believe" sign like the one that was nicked from our fence, you can find them here:  Cafe Press sign link

P.P.S. - If you would like to order a "No matter where you are from" neighbor sign, you can find them at this link:  We're Glad That You're Our Neighbor signs

Kate's Kindness

I try not to “judge” kindness.  By that, I mean I try not to put it into categories; like, I try to look at kindness as simply KINDNESS and not mentally make one kind act “better than” or “above” another.  But try as I might, I still find myself stratifying kindness.  Take for example, returning another person’s shopping cart in the grocery store parking lot.  YES, that is a kind act, but is it equal to giving $50 to a street performer?  Or how about this one:  holding the door open for someone is kind indeed, but is it AS KIND as giving a stranded stranger a 50 mile ride to where they need to go??

I guess even though I try hard not to think one kindness is “better than” another, in the back of my mind I have little rubrics that I unconsciously categorize kind acts into:

• ·         Simple kindness
• ·         Kindness
• ·         Kick ass kindness
• ·         Woah, truly huge and inspirational kindness

(I actually probably have even more unconscious rubrics than that – do you??)

Anyway, the kind of kindness I am writing about today is definitely of the highest level.  I am calling it “Woah truly huge and inspirational kindness” – maybe you would call it “Why can’t I be that kind” kindness or something like that.  Even before I tell you about it, let me remind you that you CAN be as kind as the person you are about to read about!  Let’s let her INSPIRE us all to be as kind!!

Meet Kate.

Kate - trust me, she is going to inspire you.

I don’t think I have ever met Kate Meehan in person.  She is my partner David’s Facebook friend, and I remember back before I had my own FB account I would sit with him and scroll thru his news feed and Kate mesmerized me.  She seemed so exotic!  So “with it”.  So smart and talented!!

And now that I am her Facebook friend, too, and now that I followed a journey she went on, I can add another trait to Kate:  she is also VERY KIND.

Here’s the story:

Kate started her own tradition a few years ago of getting ready for her annual birthday by doing ONE KIND ACT for every year she has been on the planet.  Well, this year she was turning 36, so she teed up 36 kind acts to perform!  I asked her exactly WHAT it is that she is doing:

“For the last couple of years, I’ve been celebrating my birthday by engaging in an act of kindness, forgiveness or gratitude for every year I’ve been on the planet. I’ve had the great fortune of having years that, even when kind of lousy, offered me some kind of new learning or fortitude for which I’m grateful. Engaging in some intentional activity really forces you to think about how you interact with your community, and look for things that need improving. By adding a new act every year, you’re forced to rethink what your community needs, and how things have changed over the past year. Doing so many in a short(ish) amount of time trains you to watch people more closely, and look for ways to offer yourself to people in need. “

Well HELLO INSPIRATION!!!!  One kind act for every year you are on the planet, all squished into the days or weeks before your birthday!!???!  What a perfect way to celebrate life, celebrate humanity, and spread kindness!  Of course, “How in the world did you come up with the amazing plan?” was one of the first questions on my mind, and her answer (partly that she was INSPIRED by seeing other acts of kindness in her life) didn’t surprise me; “A few years ago, it occurred to me that, as an adult, I don’t engage in as much service as I did as a child. My father was very active in the Catholic church, organizing Christmas Parties for kids with a parent in jail, where Santa would come and deliver them a present from their incarcerated parent, or raising money for adults with developmental disorders. I’m not formally affiliated with any church, but I was missing that investment in my community and wanted to both model and involve my children in generosity. It was important to me that they see all of it – the acts themselves and any “aftermath,” and the process of really looking at my environment and figuring out how I can share my resources to make things a little better than how I found them.”

Take note adults – your children (and the children of others around you) are watching.  They are learning from YOUR actions.  What Kate took in as a child, watching her father spread love and kindness, sunk in and she is emulating it as an adult.  I have no doubt that her kids will have the same kind souls when they grow up.

In working on this Kindness Activist project, I have examined how doing acts of kindness make the GIVER feel, and in situations where I have access to talk to the RECEIVER, how they feel as well.  Here is Kate’s insightful response to how doing the kind acts make her feel, “In the moment of doing them, I often feel a little bit sad. I try to make each act be specific for someone in my mind in a certain circumstance. I’ve been leaving pep talk notes on public bathroom mirrors – not for the people having a great day, but for the folks who really need it. Today I left change at the vending machines at the local emergency room – because those waits are horrible, and sometimes that walk to the vending machine for a Snickers bar can be a real lifesaver, you know? These are such small things to do in a big, messy world, and I try to take the time to think about the moments I’m working to improve. It’s after, when I gather them all up, that I feel fantastic. Most people listen to the news and feel helpless, but I have something I can measure that makes me feel like I’ve done something to bring a little more order to the world.”

Positive note on a public bathroom mirror

Change left for emergency room waiters - perfect for a snack

I would love to see the person who walked up to that hospital vending machine and found the money already there, wouldn’t you?  Just to witness the little smile on their face – that in the midst of whatever horrible medical situation they were in, one tiny thing went amazingly good for them.  And Kate brought SO MANY of those little smiles to peoples’ faces!!  She was kind to so many people in her community – people she had never met and probably will never meet!  She doesn’t stick around to see the results of her kindness, she just DOES AMAZING THINGS (one of my very favorites was pre-loading money into kid’s treat and toy vending machines!) and then WALKS AWAY – leaving the kindness for the next passerby to find and delight in.  She told me, “I hope it makes them (the receivers) feel a little less alone, and know that the world can sometimes surprise you with its gentleness.”

Here you go, lucky kids!!!  Kate has you covered!

Kate – you are a true inspiration.  You inspire me to be more kind – to go out into the world and randomly shower people with KINDNESS!  And you make the world a much better place.  Kate encourages us to TRY HER METHOD – “Try it!  I find I usually discover some little thing that’s easy to do all year. I’ve kept a pad of sticky notes and a Sharpie in my purse, and I’ve found it’s easy to leave little sticky notes of encouragement around.”  Wouldn’t you LOVE finding one of Kate’s notes on a dressing room mirror somewhere?  Something like, “Hey – YOU ARE FABULOUS” or “Love Yourself Today, You Are Worthy”…. 

A collage of KIND ACTIONS by Kate

Here is a list of the things Kate did this year for her birthday kindness extravaganza.  I highlighted the ones that were particularly awesome in my opinion :).  You can use these for inspiration – then GO OUT AND CELEBRATE YOUR OWN KINDNESSES!

36. Help some friends paint their new house
35. Move a friend
34. Help friends move to their new house!
33. Mop firework shrapnel from the neighborhood after 4th of July.
32. Water the veggie garden at the kids' school.
31. Sign up for Charity Miles, so every mile I spend walking the dogs earns a quarter for charity.
30. Donate blood to the Blood and Tissue Center of Austin.
29. Take my kids to the Black Lives Matter open forum. Talk to them about making space and really listening on the drive there and back.
28. Leave a bouquet of flowers on a random car in the grocery store parking lot.
27. Buy coffee for the guy behind me in line at the coffee shop.
26. Drop some lures on the Pokestops at the Dell Children's Hospital.
25. Preload all the treat and toy machines at the grocery store with quarters.
24. Leave a sticky-note love note on the mirror of a public bathroom.
23. Do it again, this time at a coffee shop near campus.
23 (#2, because I'm good at numbering). Bring some secret weapons (gripe water and golden salve) to some brand-new parents, along with a gift card to East Side Pies.
22. Drop off some flowers at the hospital and leave them with the nurses to distribute to folks who have been there a while and aren't getting visitors.
21. Tape a baggie full of change to the vending machines in the Emergency Room, because going to the Emergency Room sucks.
20. Go support a friend's band, even if it's past your bedtime.
19. Take a moment to really forgive someone, even if they could care less.
18. Found out one of my projects a few years ago included material that was offensive to someone. I spent the day learning about perspectives I was unfamiliar with to make sure that didn't happen again.
17. Applied to volunteer with White Noise Roundup. 
16. Proof read the playing cards for Morbid Curiosity, developed by the lovely Kimberley Mead.
15. Treated myself to another book on a history topic I can't seem to stop poking at with a stick. (Treat Yo Self!)
14. Bought some books for some friends from their Amazon Wish Lists.
13. Dashed off some letters for Veterans through www.operationgratitude.com
12. Sent a letter of support to a Rehab center.
11. Made a bee waterer.
10. Slogged through Austin Temporary Use Permits for use in the Minimum Standard of Care, because Austin actors deserve a safe place to perform.
9. Tended my sick husband, passed on making jokes that were *really good.*
8. Froze a bunch of water bottles to distribute to the folks on the side of the road (I'll continue doing this one)
7. Left a bunch of quarters at a laundromat, in a neighborhood where many residents could use a hand.
6. Another bathroom pep talk.
5. Recorded a couple of chapters for Librivox, who provides audiobooks of classic books free of charge.
4. Supported a GoFundMe for a stranger who is undergoing back surgery.
3. Baked some cookies for the fam, who's tolerated all this (also my ukulele playing) without complaint.
2. Handed out popsicles for the folks playing Pokemon at the park. - “I came up with a great one while I was out playing Pokemon Go with my kids – it’s the middle of summer here in Texas, and terribly hot. All these people are exploring their parks with their families, getting exercise and finding little treasures around their city, but they’re not bringing water! I’m going to stop by the store this week and bring some water and popsicles down to some of the good Pokemon hunting grounds. The activity will serve my community twice – addressing an immediate need for the people there, and also gently reminding these folks that they should be a little more prepared next time they go out. (Plus making new friends and nurturing a sense of community!)”

1. Brought some cookies to the folks at the fire department.

Collage number 2 of Kate's Kindness

As you can clearly see from the amount of highlighted ideas above, Kate inspires me to the max.  I can’t wait to pre-load quarters into vending machine and peek at a friend’s Amazon wish list and surprise them with something from it!   My birthday is in 10 months - that is plenty of time for me to plan 51 spectacular kind acts!

Here is one tiny bit more inspiration from Kate (if you can fit any more inspiration in your heart right now!).  Look at the signature line from her email:

     “Life is intrinsically, well, boring and dangerous at the same time. At any given moment the     

      floor may open up. Of course, it almost never does; that’s what makes it so boring.”  

                 - Edward Gorey

Beautiful inside and out.  

Thanks for sharing your story on Facebook Kate, and for letting me share it here.  You are a gem and the world is a better place because you are in it.

Please comment below and let the world know what KINDNESS you plan to do!!