Happy Birthday from a Kind Kid

I have said it before and I will say it again:  KIND KIDS GIVE ME HOPE FOR THE FUTURE.

We get a lot of messages at Kindness Activist.  Things pop in every day.  Messages like:

“I have a 6 foot sofa, do you know anyone who might need it?”*

and “I lost my job and am having a really hard time, would it be possible to get some shampoo and soap?”**

and “We love what you are doing.  Thanks for making the world a kinder place”***

and “My child needs 27 volunteer hours by next Tuesday, can you help?”****

and “Is Kindness Activist a 501c3?  If so, I would love to donate and will use it as a deduction on my taxes”.*****

But we recently got a fun message, one that doesn’t pop in often.  It came from a mother and said, “Good afternoon Susan!  My 4-year-old wanted to make birthday cake kits for others for his birthday. We made 20 kits, which include everything you need for a celebration. They have: cake mix, icing, sprinkles, candles, forks, plates, vegetable oil, and a birthday card. Is this something the kindness house would be willing to share with others in our neighborhood?  If not, we can give them to food for others but wanted to check with you first.”

Isn’t that so sweet?  It turns out that J turned 4 in June, and instead of gifts, his family asked friends to bring items for birthday cake kits!  After collecting, they went to the store and he picked out all the extra things needed.  And guess what?  J met his goal of making 20 kits!

I mean come on.  How many kids would forego birthday presents for themselves to help make someone else’s birthday better???

J, you are a KIND KID.  We so appreciate you thinking of the “kindness house” and the guests of the Little Yellow Free Pantry.  Because of YOU, 20 people are going to have better birthdays (complete with candles and a card!).  You are making the world a kinder place (and at the same time, giving me hope for the future).

Kind kids are where it’s at.  Kids get it.  They know what kindness is about.

And the kind kids will soon grow up to be lawyers and teachers and doctors and electricians and soccer players and company owners and entrepreneurs and baristas…

And LEADERS. 

May the kind kids grow up to be the leaders that we need to make the country (and the world) a kinder place.

P.S. – we have enough cake kits for the rest of the summer thanks to J.

(Answers to the messages referenced above)

*We are not currently accepting donations for a Kindness Sale, but every once in a while we do help items find their way to people in need.  And when we can’t, we refer donors to other local organizations.  But please contact us and ASK, do not just drop items off without checking (unless they are for the pantry).

**”Yes!  We would be happy to give you some shampoo and soap. Do you want bar soap or body wash?  Need any toothpaste?  Deodorant?  Sorry about your job. Times are tough for a lot of people right now.  You are not alone.”

***”Thanks so much!  We really appreciate you taking the time to reach out and tell us that.  Your email made us super happy.”

****Unfortunately, we get this request a LOT. The problem with it is: the request usually comes from the parent, not the child who actually “needs the volunteer hours”.  And the requests often come very last minute.  We love working with young volunteers, but really prefer the child to ask us, and we need to plan in advance so often cannot accommodate these requests last minute.

*****”Why yes we ARE a 501c3, and as such, your donation is tax deductible!  We appreciate your support of our mission, and ensure that the funds you give will be used to spread kindness. Our email is kindnessactivist@gmail.com if you have any questions.”

 

Camping Kindness

I got to sit down and chat today with a new little friend, Owen.  He is only 3, but he is FULL of energy, ideas, imagination, and KINDNESS.

He is a funny one, my new friend!  Made me laugh

Owen’s birthday party this year was CAMPING themed – complete with a bonfire, smores, a tent, and even a campfire pinata that his dad made!  But even though the official theme was camping, a “sub-theme” of kindness was woven in, too.

Cool campfire pinata

Because you see, instead of asking for GIFTS, Owen asked his guests to bring food donations for the Little Yellow Free Pantry!  Isn’t that amazing???  His mom and dad brought him by today so that we could talk a bit and learn about the sweet little boy and his birthday donations.

Owen’s mom, Janelle, works with United Way so knows alllll about non-profits and volunteerism.  A friend of the family had a birthday party and asked for food donations, so Owen’s parents were inspired to do the same for his event.  “At first we were going to collect for AFAC, but then I remembered your posts about the pantry and thought that would be even more local to help out,” she said. 

The birthday boy and his kind parents

And help out they did!  Owen’s guests brought bags of shelf-stable food, which they then donated to the LYFP.  And today when the family came over to talk about it, they got to meet a pantry guest who stopped by.  I love it when that happens – connecting donors to receivers – it really brings the system “full circle” and makes it real. 

Owen is a sweetheart.  He loves reading books, his favorite color (today) is blue (his dad says that changes quite often…).  He likes hopscotch (though he says he is not that good at it, and walks on the hopscotch board instead of hopping) and has a great imagination.  And this little dynamo is really kind.

Owen tried out our newest project, the "stress relief" station :) 

Happy belated birthday, Owen!  I am glad you got to go to Great Wolf Lodge and celebrate after your party.  And I am very, very thankful that you collected food for the Little Yellow Free Pantry.  Because of YOUR KINDNESS, other neighbors have fuller bellies.

Kind kids rock.

P.S. – items currently most needed for the Little Yellow Free Pantry are dried beans of any kind (we are out of lentils and almost out of other kinds as well), single serving heat and eat soups in cups, single serving drinks of any kind except milk which we have enough of (water, iced tea, juices, etc.), cans of fruit of any kind, deodorant, and sun screen.  Our Amazon wish list can be found at the link below (Costco wish list coming this month).  THANK YOU!

Little Yellow Free Pantry Wish List

There are a million things one could reasonably say I “should” be doing right now.

But I shall cast those “should”s aside, and instead sit down and write a short story of something magical that happened this week.

May 15^th is my sister Annette’s birthday. 

Actually, some might find it is awkward to say “is”, because most people would say  “was”.  You see, my sister died of glioblastoma (GBM) in December 2019 at the age of 58.  But I say – I am the mourning sister, I can chose to use language in whatever form I see fit. 

So, May 15^th is my sister Annette’s birthday. 

And I chose to celebrate the day by thinking of her and doing things that she enjoyed.

I hit up a local thrift store that was new to me – she LOVED thrift shopping!  And not only did she enjoy it, she was good at it.  There is an art to real thrift shopping, and she was an artist in the highest degree.  And she didn’t shop just “normal” thrift stores, oh no, she shopped at what we call the “junky Goodwill”!!  That’s a store where instead of paying per ITEM, you pay per POUND.  “Treasures” are wheeled out every 30 minutes or so in huge bins, and shoppers go at them like hungry vultures.

Find a Scrabble game missing the board?  She could find it in another bin.

Find a baby toy with 4 out of 5 pieces??  Not to worry – Annette would scour the store until the game was complete.

And find A SHOE – not a pair of shoes, but A SHOE??  You can bet that my sister would find the mate.  (She might even stare down another shopper who was on the same mission and had the mate in THEIR cart…)

I tell you this to say – when I was at the thrift shop and found a single shoe, a shoe that I DID NOT WANT, mind you, but was ON IT’S OWN (and was strangely interesting…) – I STARTED MY HUNT.  I knew the mate was around there somewhere!  I mean, who would’ve bought only ONE SHOE???

I even enlisted the aid of a fellow shopper.  “Ma’am, you see this shoe??  I am looking for the mate!  Can you help me?” I asked.  “Oh honey, those shoes are so YOU!” she said, not knowing that my motive was not to buy the shoes, but simply to succeed in the mission of finding the other one.  Since the shoes had rocks embedded all throughout the sole, I told my assistant to please holler “ROCK!!!” if she spied the mate.

As I looked, I smiled and thought of Annette.  It wouldn’t have taken her nearly as long as it did me to think of hunting in the men’s shoe section.  And when she found it (as I eventually did, then ran with it to yell “roooock!!” at the shopper who was helping me hunt) – when SHE found it, she would’ve bought the shoes.  But since they were much too big for me, and since they looked like actual torture devices, I left them in the store (all matched up neatly now).

But that is not the story I came here to tell. 

I want to share about another part of May 15^th, the part where I went into a nail salon as Kindness Activist to pay for a stranger’s nails.

You see, Annette went to nail school and for a while she did manicures and pedicures.  And decades before that, during my senior year of high school she used toothpicks to paint intricate designs on my long nails many, many times.  So as part of my celebration honoring her birthday, I knew that paying for someone’s nails was on the agenda.

I peeked into the big window of the nail salon near our home.  I felt a sense of panic when there appeared to be NO customers.  This was the one thing I knew I wanted to do on May 15^th.  It was a perfect blend of Annette and me – her nails and my Kindness Activist work.  I walked around a bit and peeked in another window, craning my neck to see the spa chairs. 

And there she was!!!!  A woman with her feet in the water, about to get a pedicure! 

I was so excited.  I had written a little note on the back of a Kindness Activist card that I thought I would give to the recipient as I paid and ask her to give it to the client.  The note said something about how this gift was in honor of my sister who did nails. 

I went to the cash register and explained that I wanted to pay for the woman’s nails.  “What woman?” the clerk asked. 

I thought, ummm, the only woman in here right now???

 

But she insisted that I identify what woman, and so I followed her back to the nail area, expecting to see the woman I had spied through the window.  But, surprise, there were 2 women getting treatments!  Oops!! 

I pointed to the woman I had seen through the window and clarified, “THAT WOMAN!”.

Then I approached her, with her feet in the warm water resting.  I quietly explained that I wanted to pay for her nails today, and that it was in honor of my sister.  “I will pay for the nails, but you leave a good tip, ok??”.  She happily agreed to that arrangement and looked at me a bit in shock.

 

“May I hug you??” she asked.

 

It is rare that I would say no to a hug, so I bent down and we gave each other a big squeeze.  “This is the kind of thing that happens on TV,” she said, “I never ever expected it to happen to me,”.

I paid for her manicure and pedicure, and as I walked out of the salon I cried. 

I didn’t know it at the time, but the woman getting her nails done also cried.

And how do I know that??   Well, I found out 3 days later.

You see, Thursday night I walked out onto the front porch to do some work for the Little Yellow Free Pantry, and a woman walked up.  She smiled a very big smile and said, very thoughtfully, “Thank you”.

Now, you should know that strangers passing our home saying “Thank you” is not unusual.  People holler it from their cars.  People shout it out from their bicycles.  And pedestrians stop and chat and say thanks.

So, at first, I thought this was an “overall thank you”.  You know, thank you for the work you do for the community.  Thank you for spreading kindness. 

But this particular thank you seemed so heartfelt, so personal…. 

I looked the woman in the eye, returned her smile, and said, “You are welcome”.

And that’s when she held up her hands to show me her pink fingernails.

“It was me.  You paid for my nails.  Thank you.”

I never thought I would see her again!  Most of the Kindness Activist actions do not get the closure that this one did.  The woman explained that she and the friend who was with her walk by our home about four days a week.  She knew our house – the “Just Be Kind” sign, the whole vibe of the place.  And she had taken time to look at the Kindness Activist website after I gave her the card with the note on it, so she understood the depth of the work.

She told me that she had tried to write to me several times since May 15^th, but she teared up each time and couldn’t finish.  I told her that part of my belief as a Kindness Activist is that we all deserve kindness.  “I knew you had enough money to pay for your services that day,” I told her.  “If you didn’t you wouldn’t have been there.  But it isn’t about ‘need’, it is about KINDNESS.”

She looked at me intently and explained that the kindness had come at the perfect time.  She had taken herself to the salon that day to try and treat herself – to cheer herself up.  She is going through a rough patch, and she needed to do something special for herself.  And that is when the kindness just magically appeared.

Isn’t that the sweetest?  That it all just happened so perfectly – she was where she needed to be, and I was where I needed to be.  And our interaction brought a bit of healing to BOTH of us that day.  “I never thought anything like that would happen to me,” she said. 

It is not the big things, friends.  It’s not surprising people with new cars or sending them on a week-long vacation.

It is the tiny things.  Smiling at the stranger.  Letting the person ahead of you in traffic.  Complimenting the cashier on their necklace.  Giving a tired mom with a cranky toddler a look of, “This is hard, but you are a good mother”.  BEING KIND.

I hope that after I die, when my birth date is a “was” and not an “is”, people who knew me take time on June 16^th to honor my memory by going out and doing something kind.  Anything!  Just something.

Wait…  Why wait until I am dead???  Maybe NOW, this year, on June 16^th, you can all do something kind for someone…  And you can email me and tell me what you did (with photos or drawings please!!) and I can put your stories of kindness together and share them here!!!  Oh that would be such a wonderful birthday present – I would LOVE it. 

So, if you would be so kind, please go out into the world on June 16, 2023 and SPREAD SOME KINDNESS.  Be a Kindness Activist.  Then email me the story of what you did at:  kindnessactivist@gmail.com .  Pretty please!

 

P.S. – the woman who was treated to a free mani/pedi told me, “I have wanted to come to your house and talk to you, but I didn’t want to seem like a weirdo or something”.  Friends – I talk to people that I have never met before all day!  I love chatting with new people!  So never ever think you are a “weirdo” for approaching a stranger to talk.  The worst they can do is ignore you, and if they do, no harm no foul!

P.P.S. - Here are the thrift store shoes!!  

Before the hunt

AFTER!!!  Found both!  And ouchie wawa they look painful.
I know, I know, they are chakra/massage/special/something-or-other,
but they also look painful and weighed about 5 lbs each :) 

 

 

 

A Muffin

Today started, then ended, with a muffin. 

 And in between – oh in between! In between there was singing and twisting and laughing… 

But first – the muffin. 

This morning as I was rushing to get ready for work, I saw a young woman walking down the sidewalk. I noticed her coffee cup – wasn’t sure if it was from Starbucks or the local coffee shop down the street. I watched as she paused at the Little Yellow Free Pantry, opened it, stood a moment, then closed it and left. I was curious… I didn’t see anything in her hand – maybe she didn’t take anything? 

Before jumping in my car, I went to peek at the pantry. The woman had left a muffin. A beautiful, fresh muffin from the coffee shop. I marveled at how such a simple act could make me so happy. It wasn’t like she put $100 in the pantry. It wasn’t like she had cooked some fancy meal and left it. But she had actually done more than that… She had THOUGHT AHEAD. She had planned. When she ordered her coffee, she ordered a gift for a stranger – a muffin. And she placed it lovingly in the pantry so that someone ELSE could find it and have the treat. That, to me, is kindness. 

Fast forward a couple of hours. I rushed home from my assignment to find David outside in the sunshine hanging the handmade posters about the Little Yellow Pantry’s 1st birthday party all along our fence. They looked glorious! But there were chairs to move. Plastic animals to blow up. Cookies to plate. Drinks to bring outside… It was a bit overwhelming… 

Then our friends from Afghanistan showed up early! They were coming for the pantry birthday party, but came early to help us prepare. Ahhhhh, perfect! Bubble machine filled. Blanket on lawn. Big piano you play with your feet (like in the movie “Big”) rolled out. We. Were. Ready! 

Hareer and her mom hung a lot of posters!

And once the birthday guests started coming, they never stopped. It was a never-ending stream of partiers! And many brought gifts for the Little Yellow Free Pantry, too! She will be well stocked for a month or so! We played Twister. We rode the see-saw. We ate. We drank. We hoola-hooped. We made chalk art. We sang “Happy Birthday” to the pantry about a dozen times (as guests came and went). (We sang in 3 languages, and I am sure if I had asked we could’ve heard it in at least 4 more.) And we sat in the glorious sunshine and took it all in. It was SO NICE to see friends and neighbors outdoors again, laughing and singing. 

Things got a wee bit messy...

As we talked, I noticed a man at the pantry. He was squatting down, looking in the bags and boxes under the pantry – the gifts. I greeted him and explained that we were celebrating today, that the pantry was exactly 1 year old. He had put a few items in his bag, excited to see so much to choose from. I went through choices with him and he carefully made selections. “No, I have enough of that already, thank you. Oh yes, I could use that”. He told me he had visited the pantry and gotten food before. It was nice to have someone come and use the pantry quietly while the party was happening. 

People came and went. Horns were blown. Hats were worn. Chalk got everywhere. And fun was had. 

When the celebration was over and we were picking up, one young man came walking down the sidewalk. I said hello, and when he saw the signs and streamers, he asked, “Whose birthday is it?”. I pointed to the Little Yellow Free Pantry and said with glee, “That pantry’s! That pantry is one year old today!!” “Wait, what?” he said incredulously. “You threw a party for a PANTRY??”. “Of course!” I smiled and pointed to the pantry. “Would you like a snack?” “Wait, there’s FOOD in there??” he said as he opened the doors and the motion detector lights went on, illuminating his choices. He smiled as he looked, then picked up his choice. “I think I will have this muffin!”. 

Ahh yes. The muffin. A gift from a stranger, to a stranger. 

Full circle. Happy birthday Little Yellow Free Pantry. Thanks for bringing joy into our lives.

FRIENDS at the pantry

Sweet 16 Kindness

I really believe that the vast majority of people WANT to help, want to be KIND.  But sometimes we get so busy and overwhelmed by our own lives that it is hard to see where we can help out in someone else’s. 

But when people are brave enough to raise a hand and ASK for a little assistance, kindness and love overflow.  It’s beautiful!

And that’s what happened recently here in Arlington, Virginia.  A mom contacted me and explained that her daughter’s 16^th birthday was coming up.  She wondered if there was any way our community could help make it a SPECIAL day for the girl, even though Covid restrictions are still in place and money is tight.

And do you know what?  That’s all that was needed.  An ASK.  A clear request for what would be helpful – a blow-out party for a special girl turning 16!!!

A group of 18 women had been working together to help another family.  I posed the question to them – would they like to work on a 16^th birthday party, or were they “helped out” from the other generous things they had been doing for the other family??

I bet you can guess where this is going, can’t you?  Those 18 women rolled up their sleeves and went to WORK!!!  “What is her favorite flavor of cake??”, “What does she enjoy doing??”, “What is her favorite color???”…  Messages and questions flew for days!!  We were ENERGIZED – we had a MISSION!!!

And even though we all had our own things to be worried about – sick family members, school starting, house renovations, work, etc. – having this PARTY to plan seem to give us energy and life!!  I don’t think any of us KNEW the birthday girl.  But we had all turned 16 before.  And we all wanted to make it a special day for her!

Each person pitched in.  One offered to make cupcakes!  One ran to the store to find a shirt in just the perfect color for the birthday girl!  One asked other people to donate items that the girl would like!  And piece by piece it came together – like a big birthday puzzle!!  The birthday girl had a wish for special shoes.  She had picked out some really cool Vans.  So, one group member scoured the internet and found the same exact shoes locally.  And even though she was super busy building a little schoolhouse and taking care of her family, she drove out and got the shoes.

Beautiful necklace for the birthday girl

Perfect make-up case for a strong woman

A member of our community heard the birthday girl liked skateboards so donated his longboard!  A member of the small group and her boyfriend had the equipment needed to make personalized vinyl letters to decorate it and spent HOURS getting them just right!  The longboard turned out PERFECTLY!  They also made the plain shirt into a printed workout shirt with the birthday girl’s favorite Bible verse on it! 

Longboard BEFORE

 

Longboard AFTER!!!!

Donated gifts came in – books, journals, beautiful photo prints….  Some gifts were purchased new with money raised at the Kindness Yard Sale.  And everything was wrapped carefully (and fancy!) to surprise the recipient.  20 presents were ready to surprise a special stranger.

Gifts just waiting to be opened!

A time and location was set.  A photographer was sent to the location (my partner, David 😊 ).  And 4 cars met up.  One was decked out with a sign and big bow.  One had HAPPY BIRTHDAY blaring from the speakers.  With secret messages to the mom, we headed over to the house.

And the birthday girl was SURPRISED.  She was HAPPY.  And she was GRATEFUL.

Here is a video of how it all went down.  You will smile if you watch it.  It will remind you that there is good in the world.  Drive By Sweet 16 Birthday Party Video

You only turn 16 once.  And I would like to think that the kindness of strangers made this girl’s 16^th birthday a memorable one.

Happy birthday, G-Zel.  We were honored to be part of your special day!

If you see a need in your community, reach out.  And if you could use a bit of assistance, ASK.  Don’t be embarrassed or afraid.  Because there is an army of people around you just waiting for a call to action.  We all want to help.  And who knows, maybe your request will be the one that makes us smile so hard our cheeks hurt.

Kindness Yard Sale Money spent on birthday gifts - $87.58 

Birthday Kindness

I have been feeling sad and stressed lately.  Often when that is the case, if I stop and examine things, I realize that I have taken my focus off kindness.  If I can re-focus – put kindness front and center again – the hustle bustle of the world slows down, and life seems more manageable.

And that is what happened today.

My sweetheart and I had a day FULL of plans – in fact we had so many events we wanted to attend today that before bed last night we had to eliminate one thing off our list.  We planned to wake up early, drive an hour to an event we both really wanted to go to, drive back and attend ANOTHER event we both were happy to go to, then go to a 3^rd event…  In one day…  And I wonder where the stress was coming from…

Anyway, it was not to be.  The alarm went off this morning and I said, “One more snooze…” several times until we just gave up and admitted we would rather sleep.

Fast forward to 12:30 pm when I finally woke up.  Oops.  First planned event down the drain…

After a very nice breakfast we headed to the annual Flower Mart at the Washington DC National Cathedral.  We went last year for the first time and really liked it – there are booths of art work, clothing, food, and plants set up all around the green lawn of the Cathedral, and also singing and dancing for entertainment.  Moseying around the event is a nice way to spend a springtime day.

I was looking for a birthday gift for my sister (shhh, I got one!).  I also found a great t-shirt with a message that I need:  the front says, “don’t wait” and the back says, “There is no right time.  Make it happen”.  I think those are great mottos to live by, don’t you?

don't wait

There is no right time.

As I looked around one booth I heard the shop owner talking to a girl, trying to help her decide which of two small hand painted bowls she should get.  The girl loved them both, and was finding it impossible to choose.  “Just pick one.  Get it.  Take it home, you will love it.  And after a while you will not even remember the other one”, said the shop keeper.  It wasn’t an attempt at pushing a sale, it was trying to teach a life lesson to a teenager.  The girl hemmed and hawed, then explained that she was trying to be more conscious in how she spent her money.  Respect, girl, respect!  I was impressed.  The woman at the stall asked when her birthday was, and she said, “Next week!”.  “Ahh, this would make a good birthday gift for yourself!”.

After much deliberation, the girl walked away.  I asked the shop keeper which bowl she had chosen, and she told me she had NOT.  The girl left without getting a bowl, but it was the green one that she really wanted.  I looked at it – it was beautiful.  “Wait a minute!” I hollered to the girl and the woman I presumed was her mother as they walked away.  I handed the green bowl to the woman working and asked her to ring it up.  “I would like to get this for you for your birthday,” I told the young girl.  She stared at me.  “What???  Oh, no…  You don’t have to do that…”.  “I know I don’t have to, and that is exactly what I want to,” I told her.  “I think you deserve this for your birthday.”  The woman with her was stunned.  She teared up.  She was not sure what to think.  Then the young girl introduced herself to me and gave me a big hug.  “Wait a minute!”, her adult friend said, “You don’t KNOW this woman???”.  We chuckled and explained that no, we had never met.  This made the older woman cry.  “This is my neighbor,” she said.  “She is turning 17 next week.  She and I have come to this market together for years.  We have never had anything like this happen to us!  We will pay it forward!!  I promise, we will pay it forward!”.

The shop keeper smiled and finished the transaction.  She wrapped the delicate little bowl in a brown bag and handed it to me.  I presented it to the stranger – the birthday girl.  “HAPPY BIRTHDAY.”

And just like that – my focus shifted.  My heart opened.  My breathing was slower and deeper.  The grass looked even more vibrantly green and the world seemed more manageable.

A little kindness goes a long way (both for the receiver and the giver).  Open your heart to kindness today.  Don’t wait.

Kate's Kindness

I try not to “judge” kindness.  By that, I mean I try not to put it into categories; like, I try to look at kindness as simply KINDNESS and not mentally make one kind act “better than” or “above” another.  But try as I might, I still find myself stratifying kindness.  Take for example, returning another person’s shopping cart in the grocery store parking lot.  YES, that is a kind act, but is it equal to giving $50 to a street performer?  Or how about this one:  holding the door open for someone is kind indeed, but is it AS KIND as giving a stranded stranger a 50 mile ride to where they need to go??

I guess even though I try hard not to think one kindness is “better than” another, in the back of my mind I have little rubrics that I unconsciously categorize kind acts into:

• ·         Simple kindness
• ·         Kindness
• ·         Kick ass kindness
• ·         Woah, truly huge and inspirational kindness

(I actually probably have even more unconscious rubrics than that – do you??)

Anyway, the kind of kindness I am writing about today is definitely of the highest level.  I am calling it “Woah truly huge and inspirational kindness” – maybe you would call it “Why can’t I be that kind” kindness or something like that.  Even before I tell you about it, let me remind you that you CAN be as kind as the person you are about to read about!  Let’s let her INSPIRE us all to be as kind!!

Meet Kate.

Kate - trust me, she is going to inspire you.

I don’t think I have ever met Kate Meehan in person.  She is my partner David’s Facebook friend, and I remember back before I had my own FB account I would sit with him and scroll thru his news feed and Kate mesmerized me.  She seemed so exotic!  So “with it”.  So smart and talented!!

And now that I am her Facebook friend, too, and now that I followed a journey she went on, I can add another trait to Kate:  she is also VERY KIND.

Here’s the story:

Kate started her own tradition a few years ago of getting ready for her annual birthday by doing ONE KIND ACT for every year she has been on the planet.  Well, this year she was turning 36, so she teed up 36 kind acts to perform!  I asked her exactly WHAT it is that she is doing:

“For the last couple of years, I’ve been celebrating my birthday by engaging in an act of kindness, forgiveness or gratitude for every year I’ve been on the planet. I’ve had the great fortune of having years that, even when kind of lousy, offered me some kind of new learning or fortitude for which I’m grateful. Engaging in some intentional activity really forces you to think about how you interact with your community, and look for things that need improving. By adding a new act every year, you’re forced to rethink what your community needs, and how things have changed over the past year. Doing so many in a short(ish) amount of time trains you to watch people more closely, and look for ways to offer yourself to people in need. “

Well HELLO INSPIRATION!!!!  One kind act for every year you are on the planet, all squished into the days or weeks before your birthday!!???!  What a perfect way to celebrate life, celebrate humanity, and spread kindness!  Of course, “How in the world did you come up with the amazing plan?” was one of the first questions on my mind, and her answer (partly that she was INSPIRED by seeing other acts of kindness in her life) didn’t surprise me; “A few years ago, it occurred to me that, as an adult, I don’t engage in as much service as I did as a child. My father was very active in the Catholic church, organizing Christmas Parties for kids with a parent in jail, where Santa would come and deliver them a present from their incarcerated parent, or raising money for adults with developmental disorders. I’m not formally affiliated with any church, but I was missing that investment in my community and wanted to both model and involve my children in generosity. It was important to me that they see all of it – the acts themselves and any “aftermath,” and the process of really looking at my environment and figuring out how I can share my resources to make things a little better than how I found them.”

Take note adults – your children (and the children of others around you) are watching.  They are learning from YOUR actions.  What Kate took in as a child, watching her father spread love and kindness, sunk in and she is emulating it as an adult.  I have no doubt that her kids will have the same kind souls when they grow up.

In working on this Kindness Activist project, I have examined how doing acts of kindness make the GIVER feel, and in situations where I have access to talk to the RECEIVER, how they feel as well.  Here is Kate’s insightful response to how doing the kind acts make her feel, “In the moment of doing them, I often feel a little bit sad. I try to make each act be specific for someone in my mind in a certain circumstance. I’ve been leaving pep talk notes on public bathroom mirrors – not for the people having a great day, but for the folks who really need it. Today I left change at the vending machines at the local emergency room – because those waits are horrible, and sometimes that walk to the vending machine for a Snickers bar can be a real lifesaver, you know? These are such small things to do in a big, messy world, and I try to take the time to think about the moments I’m working to improve. It’s after, when I gather them all up, that I feel fantastic. Most people listen to the news and feel helpless, but I have something I can measure that makes me feel like I’ve done something to bring a little more order to the world.”

Positive note on a public bathroom mirror

Change left for emergency room waiters - perfect for a snack

I would love to see the person who walked up to that hospital vending machine and found the money already there, wouldn’t you?  Just to witness the little smile on their face – that in the midst of whatever horrible medical situation they were in, one tiny thing went amazingly good for them.  And Kate brought SO MANY of those little smiles to peoples’ faces!!  She was kind to so many people in her community – people she had never met and probably will never meet!  She doesn’t stick around to see the results of her kindness, she just DOES AMAZING THINGS (one of my very favorites was pre-loading money into kid’s treat and toy vending machines!) and then WALKS AWAY – leaving the kindness for the next passerby to find and delight in.  She told me, “I hope it makes them (the receivers) feel a little less alone, and know that the world can sometimes surprise you with its gentleness.”

Here you go, lucky kids!!!  Kate has you covered!

Kate – you are a true inspiration.  You inspire me to be more kind – to go out into the world and randomly shower people with KINDNESS!  And you make the world a much better place.  Kate encourages us to TRY HER METHOD – “Try it!  I find I usually discover some little thing that’s easy to do all year. I’ve kept a pad of sticky notes and a Sharpie in my purse, and I’ve found it’s easy to leave little sticky notes of encouragement around.”  Wouldn’t you LOVE finding one of Kate’s notes on a dressing room mirror somewhere?  Something like, “Hey – YOU ARE FABULOUS” or “Love Yourself Today, You Are Worthy”…. 

A collage of KIND ACTIONS by Kate

Here is a list of the things Kate did this year for her birthday kindness extravaganza.  I highlighted the ones that were particularly awesome in my opinion :).  You can use these for inspiration – then GO OUT AND CELEBRATE YOUR OWN KINDNESSES!

36. Help some friends paint their new house
35. Move a friend
34. Help friends move to their new house!
33. Mop firework shrapnel from the neighborhood after 4th of July.
32. Water the veggie garden at the kids' school.
31. Sign up for Charity Miles, so every mile I spend walking the dogs earns a quarter for charity.
30. Donate blood to the Blood and Tissue Center of Austin.
29. Take my kids to the Black Lives Matter open forum. Talk to them about making space and really listening on the drive there and back.
28. Leave a bouquet of flowers on a random car in the grocery store parking lot.
27. Buy coffee for the guy behind me in line at the coffee shop.
26. Drop some lures on the Pokestops at the Dell Children's Hospital.
25. Preload all the treat and toy machines at the grocery store with quarters.
24. Leave a sticky-note love note on the mirror of a public bathroom.
23. Do it again, this time at a coffee shop near campus.
23 (#2, because I'm good at numbering). Bring some secret weapons (gripe water and golden salve) to some brand-new parents, along with a gift card to East Side Pies.
22. Drop off some flowers at the hospital and leave them with the nurses to distribute to folks who have been there a while and aren't getting visitors.
21. Tape a baggie full of change to the vending machines in the Emergency Room, because going to the Emergency Room sucks.
20. Go support a friend's band, even if it's past your bedtime.
19. Take a moment to really forgive someone, even if they could care less.
18. Found out one of my projects a few years ago included material that was offensive to someone. I spent the day learning about perspectives I was unfamiliar with to make sure that didn't happen again.
17. Applied to volunteer with White Noise Roundup. 
16. Proof read the playing cards for Morbid Curiosity, developed by the lovely Kimberley Mead.
15. Treated myself to another book on a history topic I can't seem to stop poking at with a stick. (Treat Yo Self!)
14. Bought some books for some friends from their Amazon Wish Lists.
13. Dashed off some letters for Veterans through www.operationgratitude.com
12. Sent a letter of support to a Rehab center.
11. Made a bee waterer.
10. Slogged through Austin Temporary Use Permits for use in the Minimum Standard of Care, because Austin actors deserve a safe place to perform.
9. Tended my sick husband, passed on making jokes that were *really good.*
8. Froze a bunch of water bottles to distribute to the folks on the side of the road (I'll continue doing this one)
7. Left a bunch of quarters at a laundromat, in a neighborhood where many residents could use a hand.
6. Another bathroom pep talk.
5. Recorded a couple of chapters for Librivox, who provides audiobooks of classic books free of charge.
4. Supported a GoFundMe for a stranger who is undergoing back surgery.
3. Baked some cookies for the fam, who's tolerated all this (also my ukulele playing) without complaint.
2. Handed out popsicles for the folks playing Pokemon at the park. - “I came up with a great one while I was out playing Pokemon Go with my kids – it’s the middle of summer here in Texas, and terribly hot. All these people are exploring their parks with their families, getting exercise and finding little treasures around their city, but they’re not bringing water! I’m going to stop by the store this week and bring some water and popsicles down to some of the good Pokemon hunting grounds. The activity will serve my community twice – addressing an immediate need for the people there, and also gently reminding these folks that they should be a little more prepared next time they go out. (Plus making new friends and nurturing a sense of community!)”

1. Brought some cookies to the folks at the fire department.

Collage number 2 of Kate's Kindness

As you can clearly see from the amount of highlighted ideas above, Kate inspires me to the max.  I can’t wait to pre-load quarters into vending machine and peek at a friend’s Amazon wish list and surprise them with something from it!   My birthday is in 10 months - that is plenty of time for me to plan 51 spectacular kind acts!

Here is one tiny bit more inspiration from Kate (if you can fit any more inspiration in your heart right now!).  Look at the signature line from her email:

     “Life is intrinsically, well, boring and dangerous at the same time. At any given moment the     

      floor may open up. Of course, it almost never does; that’s what makes it so boring.”  

                 - Edward Gorey

Beautiful inside and out.  

Thanks for sharing your story on Facebook Kate, and for letting me share it here.  You are a gem and the world is a better place because you are in it.

Please comment below and let the world know what KINDNESS you plan to do!!