Cot of Kindness

I asked for a cot.  But I received KINDNESS.

My sister has glioblastoma GBM), brain cancer.  She was diagnosed in July 2018, and after brain surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy it recently recurred, crossing over to the other side of her brain.  It is now untreatable.

So, while the past 17 months have been packed with trips, long talks, literally checking things off her bucket list, telling stories, laughter, and tears – her remaining time will be spent in a hospice house, surrounded by loved ones, tenderness, and many visitors.  She moved into the hospice house on Sunday and 5 family members have set a rotating schedule to spend the night with her so that she never has to be alone (her biggest fear right now).

The hospice house has a recliner in her room that folds back, but it does not seem the most comfortable way to spend an entire night.   My nephew ordered a cot to keep in the room for whoever was staying over to use, but it wasn’t arriving until TUESDAY.

So, on Monday (which was my scheduled night to spend over), I posted this message in the “Buy Nothing Traveler’s Network” on Facebook:

“Is there anyone in the Omaha or Council Bluffs area that has a fold up cot or a blow up
twin bed that I could borrow? My sister was admitted to hospice today. We are going to
be spending the nights with her there, but there is not an extra bed for family members.
We have one cot that we've ordered that will arrive on Tuesday, but if I could borrow
another cot or blow up bed here then both my sister and I could spend the night with our
sick sister at the same time. We would be very appreciative.”

I had seen many wishes get fulfilled on that site, usually parents looking for things for their kids while they were traveling, so I hoped this ask might get answered.

No sooner had a posted than responses started.  People from around the country replied saying they were so sorry for what my family was going through and that they sent love and would keep us in their thoughts.

Before long, someone offered a zero-gravity chair!  Then someone offered a hammock!!  These were TOTAL STRANGERS and they were going out of their way to find a way to let me and my two sisters have a slumber party.

Then out of the blue, a Facebook message popped in.  It was from someone I had never met named Jessie.  She explained that she is a nurse in Omaha and that her sister had sent her a screen shot of my request for a cot.  She said, “TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED”.

And honestly, even before I replied to her I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  I explained about the cot.  She replied that she didn’t have a cot, but could we use a warm meal?  THIS WAS A COMPLETE STRANGER!

All the while she had posted a note on her personal Facebook page asking HER friends if they had a cot to lend!  (I found this out later when I friended her…)  And lo and behold, one of them did, and Jessie arranged it all.  She worked late and then took time to go pick up the cot and deliver it to me at the hospice house.

A complete stranger!!

And she said we can borrow it as long as we need it.

Jessie, you might not know this, but you delivered more than a cot.  You delivered a renewed belief that people are good at heart.  You delivered an understanding that if you are hurting and willing to ASK for help, it will come.  You delivered KINDNESS.  Thank you.

Donuts (and a toilet and more...) Of Kindness!

It’s time for another accounting report of how the money raised at the Kindness Yard Sale was spent!

Let’s start this one in CHICAGO.  My sweetheart and I were eating breakfast at an amazing donut shop called Do-Rite Donuts.  We sat at the counter facing the window and watched the world go by as we sipped coffee and ate our treats - fried chicken sandwiches with DONUTS for "buns".  Yum! I noticed that a lot of people in scrubs were coming in, then realized the hospital was right across the street.  So, I went up to a man in scrubs near the register and said that I would like to buy his lunch with proceeds from a Kindness Yard Sale.  Boy was he surprised!!  He had ordered just a coffee, but I said, “Don’t you need a SANDWICH or anything?”.  He smiled a bit, hemmed and hawed with feeling awkward about taking a free lunch from a stranger, then accepted the offer of a sandwich.  I learned his name was Ryan and he was a tech at the hospital.  He thanked us 2 or 3 times before leaving. 

Total cost:  $7.23

Donuuuuuts at Do-Rite

And since we are on the HEALTH CARE and DONUTS theme, how about this one??  My sister brought me a Krispy Kreme donut recently.  I hadn’t had one in a long time and had forgotten how delicious they are!  So, I decided to buy a few dozen and hand them out to nurses, because nurses are the hardest working people in health care!  Lucky for me the woman working at the Krispy Kreme on 72^nd St in Omaha, Nebraska was super cool.  I explained what I was doing and asked what the best deal was she could give me.  She sold me 5 boxes of donuts (some glazed, some fancy) for $29.95!   She also loaned me a Sharpie so I could write messages like “Nurses Rock!” and “We Heart Nurses” on the boxes.  Then I took them to Methodist Hospital and delivered them to nurses.  It was a bit of a hard delivery – that is the hospital where my dad and sister were both treated one year ago so it brought back some sad and scary memories.  But it also felt GOOD to surprise the ER nurses, cardiac nurses, and rehab nurses with sugary treats.  They were happy to get them and surprised they were “from a stranger”, not a family member of a patient. 

Total cost:  $29.95

Donut delivery - coming up!

Get ready nurses, here they come

Sticking with the health care and treats theme…  My neighbor Stacia gave me a great idea on how to use some of the money.  She told me, “Special needs parents are some of the most tired and stressed out people I know.  May I suggest finding a speech therapist office or an OT or a child therapy office and bringing some coffees for the parents in the waiting room?  It would mean the world to them.”  She then recommended a medical office in Falls Church, Virginia called “Great Beginnings”, which fit the bill and also had a Starbucks very nearby!  I stopped at New Beginnings and before I even got off the elevator I could hear a child having a meltdown.  In the hallway I was greeted by an exhausted woman sitting on the floor talking on her cell phone and other parents and kids standing around.  I went into the office.  There were 3 families in the waiting room.  It felt a little strange going up to people I had never met and offering them coffee, but I went for it!  The first woman was very surprised at the offer and teared up a bit to think that she was going to be treated.  She ordered an Earl Grey tea.  She and her daughter were not regulars to Starbucks, so the girl didn’t know what to order.  😊  The other people in the waiting room said thanks, but no thanks.  On my way out I paused to talk with the woman who was sitting on the floor and offered her a coffee, too.  “Oh, yes!!!” she replied.  When I asked what her order was, she said, “Oh, umm, my usual drink is too expensive, so just get me a regular coffee please”.   No, no, no, I insisted.  She deserved a treat!  So, she ordered a Misto with cream.  When I got to Starbucks I ordered the tea and coffee (venti of course!) plus a Strawberry Cream Frappuccino for the little girl and 5 cake pops.  It was so fun handing the treats out!  The hallway woman was very appreciative.  The little girl was delighted with her pink drink and cake pop.  And the families who had said “no thank you” the first time were happy to get a cake pop.

Total cost:  $23.32

Starbucks run!!

From Virginia to VIETNAM.  Some of the money was used to give a Kiva loan a woman named Mrs. Luyento.  She was trying to get a loan to buy materials to build a new toilet.  Here is the piece on her from Kiva: “Mrs. Luyến is 53 years old and married. Her husband is a fisherman. She sells seafood in the local market and also dries fish to sell. Her family's income from these businesses is unstable.  She dreams of having a hygienic toilet, but her income is not enough to get one. She is asking for a loan to buy sand, cement, bricks, and pipes to build a new toilet. They would like to improve their living conditions.  This is her fifth loan cycle with Thanh Hoa MFI.  In the future, she hopes for her business to do well.”

I love giving Kiva loans (I have loaned to 14 different countries!), and this one touched my heart.  Everyone deserves a hygienic toilet!  It makes me happy to know that some of the funds from the Kindness Yard Sale are helping her to improve her life.  Our money was pooled with loans from 47 other donors and she met her goal of $1300.  She has already repaid $1.67 of what we loaned her.  When she repays it all, I will choose another recipient on Kiva to keep the loans going.  If you have never considered loaning through Kiva, please check it out.  You will be inspired and grateful for all that you have.  Link to Kiva here

Total cost:  loan of $25, and $2.50 donation to Kiva itself

Mrs. Luyento - I hope she is happy with her new toilet!

And finally, back to Chicago.   My sisters and I had a long lay-over recently in Midway Airport and we noticed a lot of people in military uniforms.  I went to the register at Einstein Brothers Bagels and greeted a woman in an Air Force uniform.  I thanked her for her service and said I would like to buy her lunch with money raised at a Kindness Yard Sale.  She was very, very happy to have lunch “on us”.  And it turns out, she was deploying and was on the way to the United Arab Emirates.  Thanks for your service, ma’am!  Wishing you a safe deployment. 

Total cost:  $7.92

There is $168.08 of the “Kindness Money” left to spend (plus a few more investments that have been made that I have not written about yet).  I know that I am going to miss this project when it is over.  It has given me joy to spread this kindness!  Thanks again for donating and shopping at the Kindness Yard Sale!  

Until the next update… 

Kindness Yard Sale Update - $221.35 Remaining!

It has been a while since I wrote an update on how the proceeds from the Kindness Yard Sale were spent, so here we go!!  More of the money got spread to MORE places, which I love!!

·         $50.31 was used at Woodgrain Pizzeria in Midway Airport (Chicago) to buy lunch for a beautiful family.  My sisters and I were on a long layover and Midway and I noticed a family (Mom, Dad, and 2 young daughters) walk by us.  The mom was wearing a scarf on her head and look as if she was going through chemo.  I stood near the cash register of the restaurant as they were debating what to order, and after they decided what types of pizza they would get, I heard the girls repeatedly say that they also wanted fruit.  But when the dad ordered, it was just 2 pizzas, no fruit or drinks.  When they got up to where I was at the register I explained I would like to buy them lunch from money raised at a Kindness Yard Sale.  The mom teared up.  “I thought you wanted fruit?” I asked the girls.  “Where is your fruit??”.  I think the parents had not been able to justify spending $5.50 each for cups of cut up fruit, but I encouraged the girls to grab some (and they did).  They also were not getting anything to DRINK (to save money I presume), but with my encouragement they added some bottled water to their order.  I was so happy to be able to help them have a tasty lunch while at the airport.  And the airport employee was so proud that I (actually – WE – everyone who donated and shopped at the Kindness Yard Sale) was treating strangers that she gave me the 10% Airport Employee Discount.  😊

·         $12.29 was spent buying groceries for an older woman at a Dollar Tree store in Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina (in the Outer Banks).  I was in Dollar Tree trying to find some wigs for a silly project my sisters and I were working on, and the woman I ended up treating felt bad for blocking a display with her cart and apologized.  I noticed then that instead of buying “fun things” like I was, she was stocking up on food:  spinach, pepper, beets, some chips, water, etc.  She was surprised and delighted when I paid for her order, and the cashier “blessed me” (that blessing carries on to YOU, of course, everyone who shopped and/or donated to the yard sale).

·         $39.71 was used for a Front Gate Project at our house in Arlington, Virginia.  Front Gate Projects are things I do to bring joy and community to our neighborhood.  For this one, I hand painted envelopes and cards.  On the cards, I wrote messages, “fortunes” of a sort. Each envelope had a “fortune” and a gift inside.  Then I hung them on the front gate with pretty colored ribbons.  Everyone who happened upon them was invited to take one.  I loved it, and I think the neighbors did, too.  The envelopes had candy and goodies in them, and one special envelope contained a $20 bill.  A young neighbor opened that one and came up to the door to thank us (we were not home at the time but the Ring Doorbell captured it and made me smile). 

Signs for the project (a Spanish version hung nearby)

The envelopes waiting to be discovered

·         $35 was given to a woman in Omaha, Nebraska for her to shop at a grocery store.  She posted this in the Omaha Buy Nothing group: “I'm wanting to make a big pot of soup but have limited funds for the ingredients. Anyone have 2 carrots, 2 stalks of celery and a couple tablespoons of tomato paste they can part with?? Possibly any of the other items?”  As soon as I saw the post I wanted to help her.  I have tried to give away most of the yard sale proceeds without depending on "need" but this woman's wants were so little, and warm soup is such a healthy, seasonal delight.  In messaging with her, it turned out her car had been recently vandalized, so I think having a stranger reach out to assist her was even more appreciated than it would normally be.  She said, “Oh my gosh!  You are too kind!!”.

Everyone deserves a warm bowl of soup

·        $20 was given to a patient at the Buffett Cancer Center in Omaha, Nebraska for her to buy herself a nice lunch.  We met her while we were sitting in the phlebotomy (blood draw) waiting room.  She was a patient and was there by herself (my sister is a patient there, too, and has never been to one of her appointments alone).  We all got to talking, and it turned out this woman’s name was JUDY LEE, which is also the name of our aunt!!  That fact made us fast friends with her from the get-go!  She was very talkative and fun and happy to chat with us.  She told us stories of how she and her friends used to get in trouble at school (and reminded us of the racism that African Americans had to face in this country and are still saddled with).  My sisters and I often go out for a nice lunch after treatment appointments, so we gave Judy Lee (the other Judy Lee 😊 ) $20 so she could treat herself to a delicious meal, too.  She was very, very grateful and surprised and thanked us profusely.

Some of my family and I at the Buffett Cancer Center in Omaha - they have beautiful Chihuly artwork

·         $5 was given to Jessie, a homeless man asking for money on the streets of Chicago.  He was grateful.

·         $14.99 was used to purchase a tote bag for a woman in a Glioblastoma (GBM) group on Facebook.  She posted to the group asking if it people thought it would be “ok” for her to carry a tote bag about GBM if she was not the patient, but a caregiver.  Many people, including myself, replied YES, she had every right to carry a GBM bag!  I messaged her and asked if I could use some Kindness Yard Sale money to get the bag for her.  She was so happy!  When the tote bag came in the mail, she sent me this photo of her holding it.  And she told me that she had already paid the kindness forward and bought the same bag for another member of the GBM group who had expressed interest in one!  That’s what I call an instant kindness boomerang!

YES care givers/care partners can carry this bag!

·         And finally, for this report, $25 was given as a donation to The Warming Shelter in Sioux City, Iowa.  It is an organization that runs a temporary winter shelter in Iowa.  The Warming Shelter was chosen randomly after I posted this on my Facebook wall:  “Let's spread some kindness, shall we?? Comment below and say which non-profit you would donate $25 to. At noon tomorrow I will RANDOMLY pick one of the charities listed in the comments and donate $25 of the proceeds from the Kindness Yard sale to it. No political or religious organizations will be considered.  Where shall we donate??  Go!!   #KindnessActivist”

           Over 50 people responded with great suggestions for donations.  I hadn’t heard of many of the 

           organizations suggested, for example Bus Across Nebraska, which transports visually 

           impaired people to a skiing event, Cure For The Kids Foundation, Universal Hope Initiative, 

           and A Better Life Pet Rescue.  There are SO MANY worthwhile organizations to donate to.  I 

           hope that some of the people who suggested organizations will be inspired to donate on their 

           own (and YOU, I hope YOU will choose an organization that is meaningful to you and donate 

           today!).

That’s it for now.  $1555.76 was raised at the Kindness Yard Sale, of which $221.35 remains to be used (there are couple of other entries of funds that were spent that I have not written about yet).   I am having such an amazing time spreading this money around.  I think I will be sad when this project is finished, but thankful to have had the chance to do it.