Clean Clothes of Kindness AGAIN!

There are some things in life that HAVE to be done, regardless of your lack of time, lack of motivation, lack of energy, or lack of funds.  And one of those things is LAUNDRY.  There is only so long you can wear that pair of jeans or sleep on those sheets before, well, they simply must be washed.

Now, I live a life of privilege, and having access to a washer and dryer in my own home is proof of that.  I can simply carry a basket of dirty clothes to my basement, put a load in the washer, and go about my business.  I am even privileged in the DETERGENT category – I have a membership to a big box store, so I can buy a BIG box or jug of detergent, saving me money. 

But many, many Americans do not have the same privileges that I do.  For lots of people, the laundromat is a way of life.  So recently, for the second time, Kindness Activist hit up a local laundromat to pay for some strangers’ laundry!  And it was fun!  We had one item that needed a big commercial washer to clean (a duvet), so that was just the excuse we needed to go into a laundromat and treat people to free cleaning.

We started by cashing a $20 bill into quarters.  Then we realized we needed another $20 for this mission.  We were going for it!

Now, when we did this kind act last year in Arlington, Virginia, it was an interesting social experiment (link to that story at the bottom of this post).  Several people that we approached declined our offer to pay for their laundry.  Maybe it was our approach?  Who knows.  But I went into this mission in Ormond Beach, Florida steeled for a bit of rejection. 

But honestly, not much rejection happened!!  People were surprised and happy when we approached them and offered to pay for their laundry.  We paid for a mom and daughter’s several loads.  We paid for 2 elderly women’s drying (they had started their washers before we arrived).  We paid for a young man’s drying (again, the washing was going when we got there).  We paid for several loads a couple brought in.  And we had a good time!

Three people we met stood out.

1.      A man probably in his late 30s was loading up his dryer.  My partner David approached him and explained what we were doing.  He said, “It’s ok, I’ve got it.  Please use that money for someone who needs it more than me”.   After he got his machine going, he walked over to us and gave us a $5 bill.  “Here, get some more quarters so you can help more people,” he told us.  Heart.  Melt.

2.     A woman had a big basket full of dirty clothes and I approached and told her that the laundry was free tonight.  She couldn’t really believe what was happening until I showed her the quarters…  She was so delighted!  After the washers were going, she came over to talk with us.  “I don’t want to be nosey…  And if you don’t want to answer that’s fine.  But…  Are you Jehovah’s Witnesses?” she asked quietly.  We explained that we were not, then I asked her if she was, and she smiled and said yes.  She thanked us several times and told us the story of her car having trouble just today when she was driving across town.  She has an appointment to take it into the shop tomorrow, so not having to spend money on clean clothes was perfect timing.

3.     A man came in with a backpack and bag full of dirty clothes.  From his appearance, I guessed he might be living on the street.  David went up and explained that we were paying for everyone’s laundry tonight.  Boy was he happy!!!  He said he hadn’t been able to wash clothes for 3 weeks because he didn’t have enough money.  When David offered laundry detergent, he gladly accepted it.  “Oh great!  I just have dish soap,” he said, “And really, all that does is make bubbles…”.  Once his load was in, he set about doing all of the other things that a trip to the laundromat could include, like charging his phone and using the bathroom.  I saw him peek in a trash can and pull out an empty small bottle that had held detergent.  I wondered what he planned to do with it, but I didn’t need to wonder for long.  He added some water and used that diluted soap to spot clean his dirty backpack.  Ingenious!  The clothes he was wearing were quite dirty and I wished that he could throw those into the wash, too, but that isn’t possible when you are doing laundry in public instead of in a home.  When his load was finished, I went up and said, “OK, which dryer?  Let’s get these done!” and he explained that he couldn’t stick around to dry them, he was going to fold them up and leave with them wet.  “I am on a bicycle,” he explained, “I can’t ride after dark, I don’t have a light.  If the cops get me, that’s a $36 ticket.  And that would be TWO tickets…”.  Ahh, so he must have an unpaid ticket in that backpack.  Oh boy.  David and I looked at each other and both said, “I wish we could just buy him a bike light”.  It’s moments like that when it hurts – you can’t save the world, no matter how hard you try.  At some point, you have to accept that what you have done is enough.  The man took off his dirty shirt and replaced it with a clean, wet one.  And as he left with his heavy bag of wet clothes, he thanked us again and shook our hands.  He was very grateful.

 

Just then the man who had given $5 came back inside to retrieve his clothes from the dryer.  David went up and quietly thanked him again for the donation and said that the man now going out the door had clean clothes because of his generosity.  Well, the donor reached for his wallet and went out the door, turning in the direction of the man who had left with his big bag of wet clothes.  We don’t know what happened because we were still inside.  Maybe he gave the man some money, maybe he offered him a ride somewhere, we aren’t sure.  We do know that when we left, the man with the bicycle was still outside and the sun had gone down.  Three police cars with lights on were in the parking lot and had a car pulled over. 

 

        I hope he has a place to lay those wet clothes out to dry.  I hope he didn’t                    get another $36 ticket.  And I hope he is happy and peaceful.

 Kindness Activist funds used:  $37

Donations that came in and were used on the spot:  $5

Link to previous story about the laundromat:  Clean Clothes of Kindness

Kindness Around the World

Kindness Activist began as a simple blog in December 2015 as a way to share stories of kindness with the few people who found their way to the site.  But in the 8 ½ years since this project began, it has grown much more than I could have ever imagined and afforded me opportunities to share stories of kindness with people literally around the entire world.  

You see, this simple act of talking openly about kindness has caught on!  And it has opened doors for me with major media outlets.  But some of my favorite Kindness Activist “bookings” are talks with real people.  Talks with troops of Girl Scouts, helping them brainstorm on what their kindness project should be about.  Talks with groups of high school students.  And recently, a virtual talk to university students around the world.

Heram is a beautiful young woman from Afghanistan.  She and her family stayed with us in our basement apartment as they were getting their lives together and starting over after fleeing Kabul during the war.  Heram is now in university and was part of a program which required her to organize an event as the final project.  She reached out and asked if I could give a Kindness Activist talk, and of course I said yes!  I was honored to be invited to speak. 

The talk was early Mother’s Day morning, and there were technical glitches with the video platform, so turn-out was low.  But as so often happens in life, just the right people were present!  You see, as part of the talk, I offered to sponsor some Kindness Activism.  I said that if anyone would like to host a Kindness Activist project, I would give them $100 to fund it.  The only stipulation was that they had to agree to write a story about the project afterwards and share photos or drawings so that I could post about it here on the blog and account for how the money had been used.  And three people contacted me shortly after the talk and expressed interest in joining in the activism.  One sent me this email:

“Dear Ms. Susan,

I hope this email finds you well. This is Sitara. I want to express my sincere appreciation for the activism you have demonstrated. Your efforts have truly inspired me, and I hope to follow in your footsteps to make a positive impact in my own community.

Currently, I am in Kyrgyzstan, and I am deeply committed to helping children in need in my country (Afghanistan). I would greatly appreciate your guidance and support as I embark on this journey.

My goal is to bring smiles to the faces of as many children as possible, and I am eager to contribute in any way that I can. I would be honored if you could provide me with any advice or resources that could help me achieve my goals.

Once I have helped the children in my community, I would be more than happy to share their stories and photos with you.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon.”

See???  This movement is spreading around the world!!  Here was a young Afghan woman, now living in Kyrgyzstan, reaching out wanting to do a Kindness Activist project!!

I replied, and her next message said this:

“I hope this email finds you well. I apologize for the delayed response, as I was occupied with my final exams. Firstly, I wanted to express my admiration for your idea of having genuine conversations with children. It truly resonated with me, and I have actually put it into action.

Recently, I initiated a hybrid project for high school girls in Afghanistan. Unfortunately, due to current circumstances, they are unable to attend regular schools. However, I discovered that engaging in small conversations, actively listening to them, and understanding their perspectives creates a profoundly positive experience for both parties involved.

While I am currently not in Afghanistan, I am fortunate to have my sister who consistently supports me in implementing projects back home. With the potential funding you may provide, I plan to channel it towards assisting children under the age of 15 who are working on the streets. These children have never had the opportunity or resources to indulge in simple pleasures such as toys and candies.

Thank you for considering my proposal, and I eagerly look forward to discussing it further with you.”

Of course, I said yes to this amazing proposal and we set about getting funds to her.  Only, how does one get money to Kyrgyzstan??  Turns out, you do it via Western Union!  I decided that a project of this scope needed more than the proposed $100, so I doubled it and Sitara picked it up at a bank in Kyrgyzstan and set about spreading kindness!!

And, just as she had promised, when she had completed her project, she wrote to me and sent photos (which are beautiful).  Here is the report she sent of her amazing act of kindness in Afghanistan:

Bringing Smiles and Joy: Kindness Activism Program in Balkh, Afghanistan

“On May 28th 2023, Mazar staged an exceptional Kindness Activism Program – meant to make poor street children happy and spread joy amongst those in need at Balkh province in Afghanistan. With a budget worth approximately $200, diligent volunteers put together various entertaining toys coupled with delicious goodies enough for about 30 worthy recipients aged between 4 and 13 years old. This report provides a comprehensive narrative around this impactful event showcasing its effects on beneficiaries' grateful expressions especially among its main stakeholders: vulnerable street children within the locality. 

The Kindness Activism Program rose from committed volunteers who shared an intense yearning to bring forth transformation within underprivileged children's lives. The communal initiative kicked off early in the morning, at a central location, with volunteers organizing various assortments of exciting toys – from dolls, cars, puzzles to sports equipment coupled with pleasantly flavored snacks that truly delighted their young beneficiaries.  The team ventured out on a journey through the city streets seeking deserving kids living in tough conditions or those often witnessed on city streets. 

It was an eye-opening experience for both beneficiaries and volunteers since they met numerous youngsters who endured hardship beyond their age but still sustained remarkable resilience and optimism. Indeed, this Kindness Activism Program had profound effects; it touched almost every recipient's heart as they expressed an open flow of gratitude while sharing inspiring stories with all those involved. For instance, eight-year-old Ali cherished his first-ever toy gift profoundly and pledged always to take good care of it! Such affirmations highlight the power of kindness and how it can transform people's lives even when faced with adverse challenges.

The Kindness Activism program in Balkh province, Afghanistan, was a resounding success, leaving a small but lasting impact on the lives of a group of street and poor children in Mazar Sharif. The distribution of toys and snacks brought smiles, a sense of belonging, self-worth, and hope. The heartwarming gratitudes from Ali, Omar, and Sajjad showcased the transformative power of kindness. The program highlights the importance of collective action and partnerships. The program's success calls for continued efforts to bring joy, hope, and empowerment to underprivileged youth, creating a world where everyone has equal opportunities to thrive.”

Isn’t it so perfect??  This project touched so many lives!  It brought joy to children whose lives have been filled with war and uncertainty.  And it allowed a group of volunteers to come together with a common goal to spread kindness.  This act of kindness stretched across 3 countries:  funding from the United States of America, project management from Kyrgyzstan, and execution by volunteers in Afghanistan!

If you haven’t believed me before when I said over and over that talking openly about kindness starts kindness ripples, perhaps this story will convince you!

Two other attendees of the virtual talk on Mother’s Day will also have projects funded by Kindness Activist.  One woman, an American, would like to buy books to distribute to children in UGANDA, where she is currently living.  I am looking for someone who has an in to a website where we can get a good deal on BOOKS and make the funding for her project go further.  If you know of a good discount online book ordering site, please email me at kindnessactivist@gmail.com .  The other upcoming project is yet to be determined but will be run by two brilliant children in Virginia.  I am guessing as soon as school is out for the year they will put their heads together and decide what they would like to do.

Sitara, THANK YOU for sharing your story of Kindness Activism.  It was an honor to fund your grand idea.  I am so thankful that there are young people like you in the world.  You give me hope that somehow, someway, this world will become a kinder place.

Kindness Activist funds used:  $200

Flight of Kindness

Do you ever consider your INTERNAL thoughts?  The ones that seem to pop into your brain automatically, perhaps uninvited.  They are thoughts that can usually be dismissed, but I recently took time to examine some of mine, because they seemed very worthy of introspection.  They are thoughts I am not proud of, but I will share them here with you in the hopes that they may teach you the same lesson they taught me.

I took a flight on a small-ish airplane recently.  You know the kind – two seats on either side of the aisle.

(And see, saying “you know the kind” presumes from the get-go that you and I have a shared experience.  That we both have been inside just such an airplane, so that when I say, “two seats on either side of the aisle”, you immediately conjure up a mental image of the plane, perhaps even imagine yourself in that scenario.)

Anyway, I was recently on a small-ish airplane.  I got to my window seat and did my usual; window shade UP, armrest DOWN, seatbelt ON – good to go.  Then my seatmate arrived.  And this is when my internal thoughts started swirling…

My seatmate plopped down in the aisle seat and put all of her gear on the floor in front of her feet.  I wasn’t polite enough to even say hello, I kept my eyes glued to my phone screen (I warned you that I am not proud of this story…).  The flight attendant came by and said, “Ma’am, all of your items need to be under the seat in front of you…” in a rather cranky voice.  I wasn’t looking but could feel my seatmate look at the flight attendant, but not move to squish her (rather large) haul of items under the seat.  “Ma’am…” he said more exasperated, “Everything needs to go UNDER the seat.  This area (gesturing to the floor where her feet were covered with stuff) needs to be CLEAR in case of EMERGENCY…”.  Ahhh, that explanation seemed to work, she stuffed and squished her stuff up under the seat.

My internal thoughts were working overtime by this point.  “Why did she think she was so special that she could just leave her stuff on the floor?  Why does she have that big BLANKET with her?  Please lady, keep the blanket on YOUR SIDE.  And a pillow too?  And why, of all flights, is THIS the one that I forgot my mask in the carry-on they made me check planeside.  Ugh.” 

Pretty soon we started taxiing.  And shortly after that, I felt my seatmate’s arm go up, her phone point toward the window.

I tried to ignore what felt like a weird gesture…  Then I realized, wait, she is FILMING as we taxi…

“But lady!” my negative, mean internal thoughts swirled.  “We aren’t even in the AIR yet.  This is literally the tarmac – concrete…  Not gonna be the best video…  And you are in the AISLE seat.  Why didn’t you book a window seat if you want to make a documentary here???”

She kept her camera up, filming.  I kept my head down, looking at my phone.

After a while, she let out a little squeal, maybe more of a squeak.  It was SOME sound.  I must’ve let my negativity show on my face because she quietly said, “Sorry!  First time flier.  I gotta film this for my babies.  They’ve gotta see this!”.

Ahhhhh, ok.  Some of this was starting to make sense.  “Ah, that’s ok,” I told her, then added, “It’s gonna be a while before we actually take off”. 

She stopped filming for a bit and told me again that she was a first time flyer.  As we got to the end of the runway I let her know we would lift-off soon, and up came her camera again.

Her phone inched into “my space”, but it felt different now.  I understood the reason behind the excitement, the awkwardness.  This was new!  She was a grown woman experiencing flight for the first time. 

I tried to place myself in her shoes.  I thought back to my first flight – I was in high school and flew from Omaha, Nebraska to Washington DC.  I remember my parents had prepared me a bit for what to expect.  They told me that someone would come around and offer me a pop (soda) and I wouldn’t need to pay - that seemed to be the most memorable of the instructions. 

Oh, my seatmate was happy.  As we lifted off, she said on her video, “Look!!!!  We are leaving the earth!”.  Her voice was filled with joy and wonder.  As we got to the clouds, she was amazed.  “LOOK – THE CLOUDS!!!” she told her children on the video.  And she was not narrating the video just for THEM, she was gleefully expressing her thoughts aloud.  I watched out the window with her.  When I fly I often I close my eyes before take-off and am fast asleep by the time we are airborne.  Or I keep my nose buried in games on my phone.  But her wonder was contagious and I watched the magic unfold outside the window with her.  “Don’t the clouds look like COTTON CANDY???” I offered.

After a while she pulled the big pizza box out from where she had shoved it and had a few bites of pizza.  The flight attendant brought her a Coke.  She opened her phone and watched videos of her children, and when she noticed me peeking showed them to me.  She has a ten year old and a one year old, and it was obvious she was very proud of them.  They were adorable.

She told me that she had missed her flight in Charlotte, her layover city.  “I got off the first plane, see, and I went to go pick up my bag.  I thought that’s what you do.  Only, when I got my bag, by that time my plane for Florida was already leaving…  Now, why didn’t the man tell me that?  He looked at my ticket.  Why didn’t he tell me my plane was leaving??”.  That broke my heart.  I mean, in the grand scheme of things, missing a flight wasn’t that big of a deal.  But she didn’t have someone like I had for my first flight.  No one sat her down and explained the system – that she didn’t need to claim her bag until the END of her trip.  And that lack of explanation led to her having to go through security in two airports and missing a flight.

As we started to descend, I showed her the ocean and how it looked from the sky.  We saw a ship.  When we got over land, we saw a river and a road.  “Look, see the cars?” I pointed out.  “OH!” she laughed, “They look like toys!!”.

As we got close to the airport, I pointed out the big attraction that we could see from above – the Daytona Speedway.  “Oh!  I know that place!!!  I was there!  That’s where my truck died!  My kid had to sit in the parking lot there!!”.

And that is when more of her story came out.  Earlier she had driven her truck, filled with 8 people, from Virginia to Daytona Beach, Florida.  They must’ve come to Florida for vacation.  But the truck had died…  They ended up having to rent a car to get home, and stay in a VRBO home, too.  Those expenses had not been planned, nor had the cost of the truck getting towed.  So now she was flying back alone to try and get the truck to work and bring it home. 

She told me how much the truck was going to cost to get out, I think it was something like $1,200.  She explained that renting the car had been hard because car rental places won’t take a DEBIT card, you have to use a CREDIT CARD.  “So, I borrowed money from the debit card to pay for the credit card,” she explained.  Again, my facial expressions must have given away the fact that I did not know such a thing was possible.  “Oh, you can DO THAT!” she told me, “Only if you know how to do it!  And I do!” she told me proudly.

She explained that her insurance company might give her some of the money to pay for reclaiming the truck.  “Oh, they will mix it into my premium, but that’s ok with me,” she said.  Sure, anything to get her vehicle, her freedom, back.

Then she told me, “I have nothing.  I am landing here and don’t know where I am gonna stay or how I am gonna get there.  But I am not walking, that isn’t safe,”.  This woman had flown to Florida to reclaim her transportation (which I am sure she desperately needs) and didn’t even have a room for the night…  Oh...  

As we were getting off the plane I asked if she had checked a bag.  Even though we were in a small airport, I felt a sense of obligation to help her navigate her way into the warm Florida sunshine.  “They made me check the bag.  Didn’t make sense, it is the size of a purse!  Don’t know why they wouldn’t let me just hold it,” she said.  Ahhh, so her bag must’ve arrived on the flight she missed…  This would be trickier to figure out, so I decided to stay with her.

I realized that I had never bothered to ask her name.  It felt strange doing it then – like we had been friends for a while and I had to admit I didn’t know how to call her.  I asked, and she smiled and said, “Courtney with a Q!!”.  Ahhh, Qourtney.  Cool name!  I told her mine and introduced her to my partner when he found us in the airport.  He commented on her box of pizza and she said, “This is a $13 pan pizza, I am eating every bite of it!”.  Oh yeah, airport food…

We helped her find her bag.  I told her the area around the airport was safe.  And I gave her a Kindness Activist business card and $50.  I told her it wasn’t much but that it was raised to use to spread kindness and that I hoped it would help her out a bit.  She had not asked for any money, and I hope that she understood that the $50 was out of kindness, not out of pity.

She made me think, Qourtney.  She made me analyze those internal thoughts I had when she first sat down next to me.  It hadn’t occurred to me that this might be her first time flying.  I hadn’t thought about what the reason for her trip might be.

And it hadn’t occurred to me until I sat down later to think how similar she and I are. 

You see, on my first flight of the day (just hours earlier), flying out of my hometown, a town I fly in and out of a lot, I pulled out my phone.  And I held it up to the dirty airplane window.  And I snapped these photos.  Photos of how beautiful the earth looks like from the sky.  How magical things appear when you see them from a different angle. 

 

And in those few hours between when I could see the wonder of flight and when I met my seatmate, I had become colder.  Judgmental.  Less open.

Thank you for the reminders and the life lessons Qourtney.  I hope that you found a safe place to stay.  I hope that your truck can be repaired.  And I hope that you have a safe drive back to your babies. 

We are all so much more alike than we notice. 

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $50