Little Free Yellow Pantry - Day 20

Here is a quick update on the Little Yellow Free Pantry!

SOOOO many kind people have donated!  Oh my goodness, the first few days after the pantry opened we were overwhelmed with donations!  It seemed that each time I emptied the big plastic bin for donations on the front porch, it would fill up again!  I have set up a big pantry in the basement and sorted items by type – canned vegetables, canned fruits, breakfast items, pasta, etc.  It feels a bit like a little grocery store down there!

And other kind souls donated cash for the project - $510 to be precise!!  Isn’t that amazing?? 

So here is how it is going:

It was slow at first…  We set the pantry up on the quieter side of our home (though both sides are busy, the location where we installed the pantry has less car traffic).  We thought having it on the quieter side would mean more privacy for visitors.  We felt people would feel more comfortable stopping and shopping if it was not too exposed.  And I think that assumption was right.

View inside the pantry this evening

What was NOT right, and in hindsight I now realize, is WHEN we opened up.  I was so excited when the building of the structure was done that I wanted to fill it and open it immediately!  But, because of my privilege, I had not stopped to consider that the beginning of each month is actually the time when most households have groceries!  So here we were – so eager to share – but cupboards were full.  It was a good lesson to learn, and a reminder I need to try and look at life through other peoples’ lenses and not just my own.

What neighbors have donated is incredible.  Because our community is so diverse, the donations are diverse!!  I love it!!  There are Japanese foods, Hispanic food, organic foods, junk food, Korean foods, you name it!!!  And there are items from every possible store – WalMart, Trader Joe’s, Wegmans, Grand Mart, you name it!  It is so fun!

A neighbor knew EXACTLY what to donate!  She gave a box full
of this - people use it to make tortillas and are always excited when they see it!

Vietnamese Noodles!

A woman not only donated pasta and sauce - she donated the
POT TO COOK IT IN!  

I made some more signs and we hung them around the neighborhood.  And I think word is getting out!!  We have visitors daily now.  I love it!  The BEST is when I see someone at the pantry looking.  I grab a mask and go out to talk!  I explain that if they tell me what they want, I will go downstairs and make up bags for them.  They are usually so sweet and humble that they are afraid to tell me what to pack for them.  But I don’t want to give someone who hates spicy food hot sauce, or someone who is diabetic sugary cereal, so I usually ask some probing questions and get a general idea before I rush down to get their items.  It is fun!

And, because of the cash donations, we have been able to do personalized grocery trips for 4 families so far!!  Many people are still laid off from the pandemic, or are full time students (you know how expensive that is!), or just need a little more food for the table.  So, I ask them to give me a list and we hit up the grocery store.  David and I love to grocery shop, so it is perfect!  We also bought some MEAT this afternoon to give away and put a sign on the pantry to ring the doorbell if you would like meat.  We have spent $234.59 on fulfilling grocery lists (leaving $255.61 of the cash donations for the project to spend on more personalized lists). 

Today one visitor was happy to share with us that he has gotten 4 coats from Project Warmth at our house.  One he kept and wears, the others he sent to his family in Guatemala.  He is going to come back and show us photos of the family members who got the coats in his country.  He was beaming with pride that he could provide for his family.  It was beautiful.

Before I close, I want to tell you about one daily visitor.  He appears to be experiencing homelessness.  The first time he came his speech was quite confused and he was agitated.  I spoke with him but he would not take anything.  The next day he came, he was more coherent and I brought him out two cold juice boxes, which he liked.  The next time, more juice.  Yesterday when I saw him, he had already arrived at the pantry before I noticed him walking up the sidewalk.  He had found a Gatorade inside and opened it.  As I grabbed a mask to go outside and talk with him, he poured half of the Gatorade on the sidewalk…  Then he grabbed a little cup of mandarin oranges and opened it.  He poured the oranges into his Gatorade!  Isn’t that a great idea!  (Well, it was a messy idea, because half of the oranges landed on the sidewalk, but still, juice and fruit together!  Good combo!)  So TODAY, oh today was brilliant!!  We were outside enjoying the sunshine and I saw him coming.  “Talk with him, I am going to run in and make his order!!” I told David.  So, he and David had a conversation as I rushed downstairs.  When I popped out on the back porch I asked, “Fruit INSIDE the Gatorade again today, sir??” and he gave me a nod.  I carefully put the mandarin oranges in so he could get every last one.  I went out and gave him his treat and he thanked us, smiled, opened the bottle, and walked away drinking it.  Made me so happy!!  I love that the pantry seems to be becoming something of an anchor in his community.

Mandarin oranges in Gatorade - perfect recipe

Many people have asked what donations are needed.  Here are some things we could use:

-          Gatorade (the medium sized bottles)

-          Pasta sauce

-          Canned vegetables

-          Cheese (I will keep it in the refrigerator and put it in bags when visitors come)

-          Butter (again, I will keep it in the refrigerator until someone needs it)

-          One case of bottled water

-          Cash (Venmo @susan-thompson-gaines or PayPal thompsongaines@msn.com ) to be able to do more personal shopping for people

-          Peanut butter

-          Sugar

-          Breakfast bars (granola like bars)

-          Fruit strips for kids

-          Cookies

-          Regular size boxes of cereal (not the tiny ones, we have plenty of those)

-          Baby formula

-          Laundry detergent pods

-          Deodorant

-          Hot sauce

-          Ground coffee

And for the moment we do NOT need:

-          Fruedels (they give them out with school lunches and we have too many Fruedels to count!)

-          Individual cups of fruit (we have a lot)

-          Pasta (we have a lot, just need sauce)

-          Dry beans (we have a lot)

THANK YOU for all of the support on this adventure.  It means a lot to me and to the community.  We all deserve food – GOOD FOOD.

Grieving Kindness

As this project has proven, kindness comes in all shapes and sizes.  It can be grand and flashy, or it can be quite and gentle.  The Kindness Activist this story is about is one who understood in her heart the importance of LISTENING.  Attending.  Making space for others to share.  And that is just what she did.

Staci is a member of a Facebook group that I am in.  It is one that not a single member wants to be in, yet we all find ourselves there.  It is a Sibling Grief Support Group.  Sadly, the group membership grows daily (it is over 9,500), as people find it and join to try and find people who might understand their grief after losing a sister or brother.  It is a supportive group.  One topic that is raised frequently is the feeling that, as siblings, our grief is not expected by others to be as difficult or long as, say, a parent or a spouse. 

Having lost her brother, Staci understands that.  And so, the other day, on one of her rare days off work, she posted this: “So, I’ve been reading more and more about people feeling that they can no longer talk about their siblings to others. I happen to have the entire day off today. So, tell me about them. What’s their name, what was their passion, their likes, what do you love most about them, what do you miss the most about them? Post it here or you can send me a DM. But I’d love to talk about your siblings with you.”

Think hard about the KINDNESS of that post.  Staci was willing to LISTEN.  Listen to difficult things.  Expressed by strangers.  Things that no doubt would bring up some triggers for her.  And not only was she going to hold space and listen, she REPLIED.  She commented on posts as they poured it.  It was beautiful.

Staci and Seth - her little brother and best friend

  

I asked her why she took the time to use her day off to do that, and Staci told me, “Over the past few weeks, and really since I joined the group, I’ve been seeing people post about how they feel they can’t talk about their siblings to others anymore. So, I wanted to create a spot for them to do that.”  How kind!!  It takes a huge heart to be willing to be there for strangers all around the globe.  

And her responses!  She showed in her responses that she paid close attention and empathized with the writers.  She said, “I made it a point to respond to every single person. I didn’t want anyone left out.”  And to put it in perspective, this was not just a few posts.  Last she checked there were 256 answers!!

When I asked Staci if I could share this story, she (like many Kindness Activists) said she did not do it to be recognized.  But she so deserves to be!  Members of the group expressed their heartfelt thanks, like this message that was posted, “Wow, Staci, what a gift you have given all of us!  Thank you so much for this.  I cried just reading your initial post – such a kind gesture.”  And this comment someone shared, “I love this post.  It seems like at first everyone wants to know about them and after a couple months it feels like a burden to continue to talk about them, when honestly it’s all I think about every day.”  And another member wrote this about Staci’s kind gesture, “This is such a kind and thoughtful post.  Thank you, Staci.  You’ve spent your day off letting others tell you about their wonderful siblings.” 

I asked Staci how the whole experience had made her feel, and it turns out, it was not only good for the other group members, but it was good for her, too.  She said, “I felt like I was getting to meet their siblings. I loved meeting them through people that truly love them. All the stories and passions and accomplishments and personalities.” She took time to thank people who wrote, too, by posting in the group, “Thank you again for everyone telling me about your siblings.  I’ve loved meeting them through you.  And when you’re feeling lonely or sad, or just missing them, maybe thinking of this amazing memory that makes you laugh and you wanna share it – feel free to come back to this post.  I don’t get many days off and sometimes it might take me longer to reply, but I will always eventually respond.  Such amazing and beautiful people you all got to call siblings.”

Siblings FOREVER

When I asked Staci how she thought her gesture made the others in the group feel she told me,  “I hope it made them feel heard. To feel like they don’t have to be quiet. I hope it made them happy even if just for a second to relive those memories of their siblings with me. I really just wanted people to feel like someone cared. Someone was here and willing to listen and talk with you about them. To just say, ‘Hey - I know you lost them, and I’d love for you to tell me more about them,’ instead of feeling like they needed to move on or be quiet. To spread the life, love and memories of those closest to us that we’ve lost.”

As someone who lost their sister and responded to your offer to share about her, THANK YOU Staci.  I DID feel heard.  Even though I cried as I told you about my sister, I was also happy.  Happy to remember her and to “share her” with you.

I am sorry that you lost your brother – your best friend and partner in mischief.  If you ever want to sit down and tell me about him, I am all ears.  Thanks for paving the way to let people open up their hearts and share their stories.