The Humanity of Kindness

I hope you will indulge me in sharing some more Kindness Yard Sale stories.  I feel so lucky that I get to experience all of the magic, and I really like to share it with others.

 

People not familiar with the concept of the Kindness Yard Sale are often stunned that the philosophy actually works – I mean, if shoppers “pay what they wish”, it will be impossible to fundraise, right?  But the concept of “pay what you wish” works really well in this setting!  It is hard to explain, but once shoppers “get it” they GET IT! 

 

And yes, some shoppers pay far less than something would sell for at a “normal” yard sale.  But there are also shoppers who pay far MORE than the value of their purchase – understanding that they are not really “paying for the items” but are donating to a CAUSE.

 

And sometimes, well sometimes people are magnificent.

 

Story 1 - Take the neighbor who hadn’t had any time to visit the sale.  This neighbor has a difficult life – many people living in one house, trouble finding work, health issues…  I know that they do not have much in terms of money.  But this woman is sweet as can be and supportive of all of the work that I do.  So, as she walked by last evening, she said, “I don’t want to shop at the sale, but I want to make a donation,” and handed me a $5 bill.

 

That $5 bill was a LOT.  It could’ve been used to buy milk and eggs.  It could’ve put a bit of gas in the car.  But instead of using it for those necessary things, she chose to donate it.  She has been the recipient of acts of kindness from Kindness Activist, and now she was giving back. 

 

I encouraged her to come shop, and once she finished making and eating dinner she did return and get some clothing.  It made me happy that she was able to participate.

 

There are others who donate without shopping – sending Venmo or giving cash.  I see those sliding into my apps, friends, THANK YOU!  It is beautiful to see the kindness in action.  I appreciate it so much!

 

Story 2 - Our neighbor Danyae, the artist I have written about before, is a staunch supporter of my Kindness Activist work.  She is a refugee from China and has had such a hard life.  Her immigration status finally changed a couple of months ago and she now has permanent residence in the country that she loves so much – the United States of America.  This change in status also means that she now qualifies to get an EBT card so she can go to the grocery store and shop.  Danyae survived solely on food from the Little Yellow Pantry for 7 or 8 months.  Not only did she not have funds to buy food, but she believes that food and water are often “poisoned by the government” so not safe to eat.  I convinced her that the pantry food was safe, and she found a home in this community of kindness.

 

And now Danyae is giving back.  She has probably volunteered helping with the yard sale around 100 hours!  She is such a hard worker!  If I find a good task and set her up doing it, she is very successful and gets the jobs done. 

 

But, of course, she also needs things.  She is an artist, so needs paint and brushes.  She needs comfortable shoes (she walks and uses the bus system).  She needs clothes for the changing of the seasons.

 

I know her story and I know that she has literally nothing in terms of finances.  The government houses her and now pays for her food.  Her social worker is trying to find her employment (which is difficult given her mental issues).  She will have to move to a new apartment soon and I am advocating that be not too far from our home so she will have some friendly support. 

 

But given all of those factors, Danyae still insists on paying for her Kindness Yard Sale purchases.  I try not to take her money, boy do I try.  I explain she has “paid” by helping so much.  I explain that the yard sale is over, so today she can take what she wants for free.  But NO.  She insists that she pay.  (She wanted to pay $100 for some beautiful paintbrushes that she explained are very, very expensive and hard to find, I talked her down to $10 😊 .)

 

Danyae was also very helpful with translation services a couple of times during the sale!  One man showed me two wooden treasures he had found on a shelf and asked if I knew what they were.  “Hmmm, I have no idea,” I replied, “…but let me find Danyae!  If this writing is in Chinese she will tell us what they are and what they say!”. 

 

And sure enough, Danyae knew exactly what those treasures were.  They were pieces of wood that aristocrat artists, the elite, in China use to hold the edges of scroll paper down so that they can paint or write on it!  And she told us what the Chinese characters meant.  She did the same for a beautiful Chinese basket that was at the sale – translated the characters on the coins attached to the basket.  It is fun to see her eyes light up when she sees her language and can be of service by interpreting it.

 

And transversely, hearing some of the stories of her past are heartbreaking.  Today she was assisting me as we tried to sort the leftover clothing from the sale before the rain came.  We have many, many jeans, and I know that they are good to wear in the fall and winter.  I asked Danyae if she ever wears jeans (I had never seen her in them), thinking we would pull out a couple of pairs for her.  She told me, “No!  No.  I do not wear jeans.”  The strong delivery of such a simple statement made me wonder if there was more to the story, so I asked why not.  “My mother wore jeans,” she explained.  “They threw rocks at her.  The people in the village threw rocks.”  Sometimes I wish I was not so curious and didn’t ask about the story behind the stories, as they can be heartbreaking.

 

I will be hosting an evening art showing of Danyae’s work sometime soon.  I hope that the community will rally behind her and show her the love she so freely gives to me and others.

  

Story 3 - I learned a good lesson/had a good reminder of diversity at this year’s sale.  We go through loads and loads of bags as we check people out and give them their purchases.  Neighbors donate many cloth and plastic shopping bags for us to use.  Last evening, I was bagging some items that a mother and daughter purchased.  I reached down for a bag and found a really good one – Halloween!  It was orange and black and had a big, cute spider drawn on it.  It even had a little flashlight attached to it to use while trick-or-treating.  I showed it to the little girl and I oohhed and ahhhhed over the bag as I starting filling it with their items.  Then the mom quietly but confidently said, “May we have a different bag please?  We do not celebrate Halloween”.

 

Ahhhh – foot.  In.  Mouth.  I apologized as I grabbed a different bag and asked the mother to take the flashlight off the first bag so that her daughter could take that home with them. 

 

I was also reminded of the importance of pronouns.  As I sat and talked with a neighbor on the steps while their teenage child shopped and shopped, I referred to the child as “she”.  The mother quickly but gently said, “they”.  It was another reminder that I needed.  Pronouns, names, IDENTITY in general is so important. 

 

In the end all was well, no hurt feelings.  But those were good reminders for me that this community is diverse not only in nationality, race, language, gender expression, size, shape, and color – but also in religion.  I will be more mindful of that now that those women so kindly but confidently brought that to my attention. 

 

 And finally, story 4.  Now that the sale is over I have the big task of figuring out what to do with the leftover items.  I will donate some clothing to the women’s shelter, some to the general shelter, some to schools, and give some away in the local Buy Nothing group.  But other items – what to do with it all???  I knew there is an upcoming Halloween costume exchange – all costumes go there.  I know teachers often need books for their classrooms, so I put out an ask that people come pick out any books that they want (we will place the rest in Little Free Libraries around town).  A neighbor came and got craft supplies to make homecoming signs for high schoolers.  And I knew a local teacher was looking for stuffed animals for a big event coming up – animals go there.

 

The teacher needing animals came right away when I messaged her today.  She and I dug through the piles of animals that didn’t find homes during the sale.  We found EVERYTHING – bears, dogs, bunnies, turtles, stingray, whales, parrots, snakes, cats, fish – even COWS and PIGS!  In the end, we found over 3 garbage bags FULL of stuffed animals for the school event (and we still have all of the other stuffies that are not animal shaped!)

 

Car full of stuffed animals!pronou

So once again I am reminded that the Kindness Yard Sale is not only a place to raise money.  It is not only a place to find treasures.  But it is also a place to learn, to find community, and to be reminded of the beauty of the human experience.

Tea and Fruity Beer

This is the story of how we ended up drinking tea and fruity beer in the dark on a chilly night with recent arrivals to America from Bolivia…

 

But first, I should share a few more stories.

 

Today was the last day of the 2022 Kindness Yard Sale.  We had hoped it would just be last weekend, but the community was so generous with their donations that we didn’t even have enough space to display everything the first 2 days, so we extended one more day – today.

 

I don’t know if you have ever hosted a yard sale, but it is a LOT of work…  Hanging clothing.  Begging to borrow tables.  Setting things up.  Covering things when there is a threat of rain at night….

 

Now multiply THAT by, oh, maybe 60…  And THAT is the Kindness Yard Sale! 

 

People from all around the community donate, and boy howdy, did they donate this year!!!  We had every item imaginable (and some that were not even imaginable – chair socks??  Who knew chairs needed socks???).  And we had a steady stream of shoppers all 3 days of the sale.

 

It’s hard to put into words some of the magical moments that I was privy to witness.  But, since I believe that sharing those moments with you may inspire YOU to go out and be kind, I will try to write down some of the magic here (even though my feet are t-i-r-e-d, it is 10:30 PM and I haven’t eaten dinner yet, and I am imagining crawling up in my soft bed…).

 

Here is some of the magic I witnessed today:

 

Story one:  A neighbor messaged me and asked what I do with unsold items, was there a charity I recommend that they could donate a bag of shoes to?  Only, because it was so busy all day, even though I had my phone in my sexy fanny pack I wasn’t READING it, so I missed her message.

 

So, I think it was around 4:00 pm when someone walked up to me with a bag of shoes.  Thinking they were BUYING them, I said, “Oh terrific!  You found some great shoes!”.  And she said, “Oh, no, I was wondering if I could donate these?”.

 

My guard went up immediately!  We had so many shoes still displayed in the yard and on the porch!  And the donation window closed like 2 weeks ago!  “NO!” I said, probably a bit too forcefully, “We can’t take any more shoes, sorry!”.

 

But then she explained…  Her husband had had a stroke.  He had bought these amazing shoes at thrift shops with the plan of reselling them online at a profit, but that task was proving too difficult right now after the stroke.  He was, understandably, sad about that.  He wanted them to go to someplace kind…

 

“YES!  WE WILL TAKE THOSE SHOES!” I heard myself say.  And as I looked through a few pairs of them I saw that he was an excellent shopper – he had scored great quality and brands.  The sweet woman displayed them for me as I went back to assisting other shoppers.

 

I checked out 2 customers and noted that they had purchased these very late donated shoes…  And very shortly after the shoes had arrived…

 

And then I spied a man with his dog.  The man was handsome and dressed nicely.  “Excuse me,” I blurted, “I think I have some shoes for you!”.  I explained that there were some shoes that had just arrived, and I had a feeling they would be good for him.  “They are BRIGHT ORANGE,” I told him, as I explained where he should go to find them.  “Orange is my favorite color!!!” he said as he hurried off to see them.

 

A bit later he approached the check-out table.  “Did they fit??  Do you like them???” I asked anxiously.  He said that he loved them, but they were a tiny bit snug.  “Simple!” I exclaimed as he tried one on to show me, “Take off your socks!”. 

 

Problem.  Solved.  He was so happy to get those shoes!  In fact, he was heading to a rave tonight and was going to pair them with his ALL ORANGE outfit!  Talk about completing a look!  Kindness Yard Sale magic.

 

Story 2:  this one I didn’t witness myself, but as I turned the corner, the woman who HAD witnessed it was beaming and said, “You just missed an amazing act of kindness!!!”.

 

She explained:  A couple was purchasing quite a few items.  They lugged them to the check-out table, David leafed through them, then asked how much they would like to donate.

 

As sometimes happens, what they offered was very, very low compared to the amount they were buying.  David suggested a bit higher price, and the people stood there in silence, probably wondering what to do.

 

Then the magic happened…  A young woman standing nearby pulled out a wad of cash and handed it to David.  She PAID FOR THE OTHER PEOPLE’S ITEMS (on top of the small amount they had offered).  “Oh my!  That is very kind!” my friend told her.  To which the young woman replied, “Well that’s the point of this sale, isn’t it???”.

 

Ahhhh magic.

 

And not only THAT.  When the young woman was ready to check out with her own purchases, my friend who was volunteering said, “It’s ok, you have already paid” (referring to the money she had given for the other people’s purchases).  But the woman insisted on paying for her items as well.

 

I think this young woman’s mom was here with her.  If you are reading this, please know that your daughter is amazing.  She is discreet, respectful, and KIND.  You raised her well.

 

And finally…

 

Story three:   Yard sales are usually about getting the best bargain you can get, right?  Many shoppers have that mentality.  And yes, the Kindness Yard Sale is pay what you wish, will all donations going to Kindness Activist to spread kindness, but sometimes people offer ridiculously low amounts (like $4 for 3 garbage bags full of clothes (many of which are brand new and still have tags), handbags, and shoes…). 

 

So, on the 3^rd day of the sale, when the 200^th customer tries to pay almost nothing for items that are actually really valuable, it can get a bit tiring…

 

And that is what happened today.

 

Four adults, an infant, and a young girl shopped for maybe an hour or two.  They made huge, huge piles of items.  Furniture.  Clothing.  Shoes.  Toys.  And they kept adding and adding and adding to the piles. 

 

We had agreed on a price for the furniture, and I was trying to keep a little tally of a suggested donation for the other things as one pile became two became four became five…

 

But when it was time to check out with all of the loot, they offered far, far less than yard sale pricing.  They offered almost nothing for a VERY LOT of items. 

 

Luckily, a friend who is fluent in Spanish helped interpret as we spoke and I explained again that the money they donated would be used to help others, and could they offer a little bit more please, since what they were wanting was actually quite valuable.

 

Those moments are always awkward.  They don’t happen all that often (luckily), but when they do, they are not pleasant. 

 

The buyers added a bit more to the offer, we counter offered, etc.

 

We finally agreed on a donation (still far, far lower than the value of the items) and they started loading things into their car.

 

And loading.

 

And loading.

 

They had far too much to fit in their vehicle – let alone with 4 adults, 1 child, and an infant.

 

So, off the vehicle went with just the driver, to drop the things off at home, then come back for the rest and the people.

 

But home was not nearby…  And there was a lot to unload once they got home… 

 

So, they were gone for maybe 50 or 60 minutes.  During which time, the women sat, nursed a baby, and the little girl rode a scooter from the sale.

 

I admit, I was cranky.  They had paid their meager donation with a large bill and I had to make change – it just felt in “bad form”.  And then they sat around for an hour afterward…  I wasn’t feeling very kind.

 

The driver came back, loaded the car with the rest of their purchases, and, you guessed, no room for other riders again.  I told you they bought a lot!

 

Soooo, the women sat back down.  To wait.  Again. 

 

I knew that they had recently come to the US from Bolivia but didn’t know much else about them.  As it grew dark and became colder, I offered them blankets, which they gladly covered up with.

 

And then David, my sweetheart, flipped my kindness switch back on.  “I am going inside to make them some tea,” he said.

 

Yes.

 

Make tea.

 

Welcome these women.  These people who just arrived in our country. 

 

Out came the tea, and beautiful little plates he made of zucchini bread slices with strawberries in the middle. 

 

The women were delighted.  They sat and drank tea, and we joined them in the dark. 

 

We “broke bread”.  We learned about them – not a family (as I had assumed) but people who all just came to work at the Bolivian consulate.  Three had only been here one week, one for a month. 

 

We talked.  We laughed.  We struggled with language but got by.  One woman mentioned (in Spanish) that she wished she had a beer.  We know the Spanish word for beer, so David rushed in and served us all some beer. 

 

I gave them hints where to get groceries for cheap (Aldi), where to get small items at a low price (Dollar Tree).  They told us a bit about their country and their work and explained that what might cost one dollar at home costs $7 in America.

 

Our artist neighbor, Danyae, walked down and joined us, trying beer for the first time in her life!  “I always though alcohol would taste bad – this is much better than my expectation!” she delighted.  She is a Chinese refugee and she told our new Bolivian friends the importance of making friends in America and learned English.

 

The driver and vehicle finally returned.  But instead of rushing to pack up and go home, they stayed.  We talked and talked and talked.  “The museums here are free!” we explained.  “What is the name in English of this?” they asked about a bike helmet. 

 

They reminded me that being a stranger in a strange land is not easy.  That happening on a sale like the one they magically found today (they were heading for the zoo – how they ended up at our house is a mystery to me…) is kismet.

 

I gave them my card. 

 

We don’t know their names.  Not sure if they will ever contact us again.

 

But I hope they do.  They are welcome here.  Welcome in America, and welcome at the Big Yellow House. 

 

And THAT, my friends, is the magic of the Kindness Yard Sale.

 

(And THAT is the story of how we ended up drinking tea and fruity beer in the dark on a chilly night with recent arrivals to America from Bolivia…)

Selfie as the recent arrivals to America loaded up their vehicle the 3rd time :) 

Kindness Can Be Sticky

One of the things that makes me really happy in life is being witness to something that happens at just the right place and time.  You know, seeing something and thinking, THIS, THIS RIGHT NOW, THIS IS PERFECT.  THIS IS WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING, AND THIS IS EXACTLY WHERE IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING.

Those moments don’t pop up too often in life, at least not for me.  But one place that I can practically be guaranteed to witness at least one of them is the annual Kindness Yard Sale.

For the uninitiated, the Kindness Yard Sale is a fundraiser for Kindness Activist, which is a grassroots organization that, quite simply, SPREADS KINDNESS.  At Kindness Activist, we believe that sharing kindness, and then telling the stories of that kindness, causes kindness ripples.  That means that the people who read the stories we share are then inspired to go out into the world and spread kindness, too!!!  So, in a very real way, being open and talking about kindness can start a kindness revolution! 

My experience has been that the Kindness Yard Sale is a terrific place to see things happening at just the right place and time, and this year was no exception. 

There are hundreds of people at the yard sale – people of all shapes, sizes, ages, races, nationalities…  And they all convene on our yard and porches for two reasons:  1.  To find great treasures!  And 2.  To donate funds that will be used to spread kindness.  Every year more and more people attend the event and I get to meet lots of new people.  I love it!

Here is a short story of one example of something happening at JUST THE RIGHT PLACE AND TIME during the 2022 sale.

A man who looked like he was in his 20s came up and showed me the aqua colored funky helmet he had discovered at the sale and wanted to buy.  I asked if it fit, and he demonstrated that it did by putting it on over his long, curly brown hair.  It looked great – like a grungy surfer or skateboarder.  He really rocked it, and his grin showed me how happy he was to have seen it on the table and nabbed it.  “You can cover that thing in cool stickers!!” I commented.  He told me that was the plan, and that he had loads of stickers in mind.  He explained that his car had been impounded and his skateboard was now his mode of transportation, so this helmet was needed for safety. 

As we talked, he held the helmet in his hands and seemed to be a bit uncomfortable.  Then this man, this stranger, out of the blue asked if we needed help with the sale – if there was anything he could do for us.  That was music to my ears, and I quickly set him up on “hanger duty” – organizing hangers of clothes that had already been sold. 

I explained the job to him and gave him a place to do it, but he seemed distracted by his new helmet.  He kept returning to it – touching it uncomfortably.  “Do you have something I can clean this with??” he asked.  When I offered a paper towel, his frustration bumped up a notch and he said with more desperation, “No, maybe a wipe!  This is STICKY.  I need it not to be sticky…”

 

Honestly, I was a bit bothered.  I thought he was going to help out, but here he was asking me to go out of my way to clean his recent purchase.  “Can’t he just wait until he gets home and clean it??” I thought silently. 

 

It wasn’t until he looked at me and blurted, “I AM AUTISTIC.  THIS IS STICKY.  IT IS BOTHERING ME.  I CAN’T HAVE IT BE STICKY,” that I understood the situation.  It wasn’t simply a dirty helmet – it was a tactile distraction that was like nails on a chalkboard for him.  He would not be able to focus on anything else until he solved his helmet issue, and it was very upsetting to him.

 

Ahhhhhh yes!  The stickers that had been removed from the helmet had left a residue, making it sticky.

 

Once I understood, I set about finding a solution with him.  And, of course, I felt bad for silently begrudging his insistence and him taking me away from other things that needed doing.  But as soon as the issue was clear to me, I understood that this was the priority.  I was honored that he was willing to confront the problem head on and include me, so together, we would solve it.

 

I asked if he knew a method of getting the sticky off.  I didn’t have any Goo-Be-Gone, so he politely but determinedly explained that if I gave him some cooking oil and alcohol, he would be able to clean it.  I rushed into the house, brought back his supplies, and he went to work.

 

Once that problem was solved, he was happy to assist with anything that needed doing.  He sorted hangers.  He talked to customers and, when things got too loud and overstimulating by the cashier table, took some time away and stood in the relative quietness of the front porch.  He was super smart – he worked with one customer on how to re-set a laptop that had the donor’s password set up and talked with others about electrical and scientific issues.

 

But it was when a little boy walked up that I understood the real reason the universe ensured that the skateboarder stopped at the sale. 

 

A little boy and his mother stood in front of a small table by the check-out area that had two clear boxes on it.  “Are these for sale???” the mom asked hopefully.  “Oh yes they are!” I replied.  “Do you know what those are?”.

 

The mom grinned from ear to ear.  “Do I know what they are?  Yes!  They are Bey Blades, and they are the reason we came to the sale today.”.

 

The boxes were filled with Bey Blades.  I had heard of Bey Blades (a child had written a letter to Santa during the Santa project asking for them), but I didn’t understand their value.  A yard sale volunteer had brought me the boxes full of the toys earlier in the day and explained that Bey Blades were special and valuable, and they should not be in the big pile of toys for sale, but should be set aside for a special shopper. 

 

And there the boxes had sat – on an awkwardly placed table behind the check-out area.  But this mother and son happened upon them and were delighted. 

 

The mom pointed to her little son’s hand, which was carefully clutching a bey blade he brought with him to the sale.  “He brought this one, but he is looking for more,” she explained.  And when they opened the boxes, the boy’s jaw dropped and his eyes lit up.  So.  Many.  Bey Blades!!!

 

He reached in to touch them and it was like he had found gold.  He couldn’t believe his eyes.  “We will buy these!” his mom told him.  “All of them will be yours!!!”. 

 

It was as if he was Charlie Bucket and had found a golden ticket!!!  He was so happy!  He was speechless.  It was beautiful.

 

And that is when my new skateboarder friend quietly came up to the table.  “Do you know what THIS one is called?” he asked the boy, who shook his head no. 

 

The man who had been a bit awkward and uncomfortable with the noise and the stickiness had found his element.  He was a Bey Blade expert.  He picked the toys up gingerly and showed the little boy how they worked.  Demonstrated which were valuable (“Here!  Feel this one.  Now feel this one!  See how this one is heavier??  It is a special one!”).  The 2 boys bonded as the skater went through the pieces, smiling, proud that he could be the teacher.

 

The man who had earlier taken me aside, upset and irritated, saying, “People are talking for me!  I don’t need anyone to talk for me!!” was now talking for himself in an elegant language that only he and the little boy understood.

 

And I was witness.  Witness to 2 people being in the exact right place at the exact right time. 

 

It was beautiful.

 

Thank you to whoever donated those Bey Blades.

 

Thank you to the mom who so patiently listened to the explanations and made a nice donation.

 

And most importantly, thank you to the universe for somehow putting that man in the right place at the right time and allowing me to see it all unfold.  I am grateful.