kindness activist

kindness activist

Sunday, September 25, 2022

The Humanity of Kindness

I hope you will indulge me in sharing some more Kindness Yard Sale stories.  I feel so lucky that I get to experience all of the magic, and I really like to share it with others.

 

People not familiar with the concept of the Kindness Yard Sale are often stunned that the philosophy actually works – I mean, if shoppers “pay what they wish”, it will be impossible to fundraise, right?  But the concept of “pay what you wish” works really well in this setting!  It is hard to explain, but once shoppers “get it” they GET IT! 

 

And yes, some shoppers pay far less than something would sell for at a “normal” yard sale.  But there are also shoppers who pay far MORE than the value of their purchase – understanding that they are not really “paying for the items” but are donating to a CAUSE.

 

And sometimes, well sometimes people are magnificent.

 

Story 1 - Take the neighbor who hadn’t had any time to visit the sale.  This neighbor has a difficult life – many people living in one house, trouble finding work, health issues…  I know that they do not have much in terms of money.  But this woman is sweet as can be and supportive of all of the work that I do.  So, as she walked by last evening, she said, “I don’t want to shop at the sale, but I want to make a donation,” and handed me a $5 bill.

 

That $5 bill was a LOT.  It could’ve been used to buy milk and eggs.  It could’ve put a bit of gas in the car.  But instead of using it for those necessary things, she chose to donate it.  She has been the recipient of acts of kindness from Kindness Activist, and now she was giving back. 

 

I encouraged her to come shop, and once she finished making and eating dinner she did return and get some clothing.  It made me happy that she was able to participate.

 

There are others who donate without shopping – sending Venmo or giving cash.  I see those sliding into my apps, friends, THANK YOU!  It is beautiful to see the kindness in action.  I appreciate it so much!

 

Story 2 - Our neighbor Danyae, the artist I have written about before, is a staunch supporter of my Kindness Activist work.  She is a refugee from China and has had such a hard life.  Her immigration status finally changed a couple of months ago and she now has permanent residence in the country that she loves so much – the United States of America.  This change in status also means that she now qualifies to get an EBT card so she can go to the grocery store and shop.  Danyae survived solely on food from the Little Yellow Pantry for 7 or 8 months.  Not only did she not have funds to buy food, but she believes that food and water are often “poisoned by the government” so not safe to eat.  I convinced her that the pantry food was safe, and she found a home in this community of kindness.

 

And now Danyae is giving back.  She has probably volunteered helping with the yard sale around 100 hours!  She is such a hard worker!  If I find a good task and set her up doing it, she is very successful and gets the jobs done. 

 

But, of course, she also needs things.  She is an artist, so needs paint and brushes.  She needs comfortable shoes (she walks and uses the bus system).  She needs clothes for the changing of the seasons.

 

I know her story and I know that she has literally nothing in terms of finances.  The government houses her and now pays for her food.  Her social worker is trying to find her employment (which is difficult given her mental issues).  She will have to move to a new apartment soon and I am advocating that be not too far from our home so she will have some friendly support. 

 

But given all of those factors, Danyae still insists on paying for her Kindness Yard Sale purchases.  I try not to take her money, boy do I try.  I explain she has “paid” by helping so much.  I explain that the yard sale is over, so today she can take what she wants for free.  But NO.  She insists that she pay.  (She wanted to pay $100 for some beautiful paintbrushes that she explained are very, very expensive and hard to find, I talked her down to $10 😊 .)

 

Danyae was also very helpful with translation services a couple of times during the sale!  One man showed me two wooden treasures he had found on a shelf and asked if I knew what they were.  “Hmmm, I have no idea,” I replied, “…but let me find Danyae!  If this writing is in Chinese she will tell us what they are and what they say!”. 

 

And sure enough, Danyae knew exactly what those treasures were.  They were pieces of wood that aristocrat artists, the elite, in China use to hold the edges of scroll paper down so that they can paint or write on it!  And she told us what the Chinese characters meant.  She did the same for a beautiful Chinese basket that was at the sale – translated the characters on the coins attached to the basket.  It is fun to see her eyes light up when she sees her language and can be of service by interpreting it.

 

And transversely, hearing some of the stories of her past are heartbreaking.  Today she was assisting me as we tried to sort the leftover clothing from the sale before the rain came.  We have many, many jeans, and I know that they are good to wear in the fall and winter.  I asked Danyae if she ever wears jeans (I had never seen her in them), thinking we would pull out a couple of pairs for her.  She told me, “No!  No.  I do not wear jeans.”  The strong delivery of such a simple statement made me wonder if there was more to the story, so I asked why not.  “My mother wore jeans,” she explained.  “They threw rocks at her.  The people in the village threw rocks.”  Sometimes I wish I was not so curious and didn’t ask about the story behind the stories, as they can be heartbreaking.

 

I will be hosting an evening art showing of Danyae’s work sometime soon.  I hope that the community will rally behind her and show her the love she so freely gives to me and others.

  

Story 3 - I learned a good lesson/had a good reminder of diversity at this year’s sale.  We go through loads and loads of bags as we check people out and give them their purchases.  Neighbors donate many cloth and plastic shopping bags for us to use.  Last evening, I was bagging some items that a mother and daughter purchased.  I reached down for a bag and found a really good one – Halloween!  It was orange and black and had a big, cute spider drawn on it.  It even had a little flashlight attached to it to use while trick-or-treating.  I showed it to the little girl and I oohhed and ahhhhed over the bag as I starting filling it with their items.  Then the mom quietly but confidently said, “May we have a different bag please?  We do not celebrate Halloween”.

 

Ahhhh – foot.  In.  Mouth.  I apologized as I grabbed a different bag and asked the mother to take the flashlight off the first bag so that her daughter could take that home with them. 

 


I was also reminded of the importance of pronouns.  As I sat and talked with a neighbor on the steps while their teenage child shopped and shopped, I referred to the child as “she”.  The mother quickly but gently said, “they”.  It was another reminder that I needed.  Pronouns, names, IDENTITY in general is so important. 

 

In the end all was well, no hurt feelings.  But those were good reminders for me that this community is diverse not only in nationality, race, language, gender expression, size, shape, and color – but also in religion.  I will be more mindful of that now that those women so kindly but confidently brought that to my attention. 

 

 And finally, story 4.  Now that the sale is over I have the big task of figuring out what to do with the leftover items.  I will donate some clothing to the women’s shelter, some to the general shelter, some to schools, and give some away in the local Buy Nothing group.  But other items – what to do with it all???  I knew there is an upcoming Halloween costume exchange – all costumes go there.  I know teachers often need books for their classrooms, so I put out an ask that people come pick out any books that they want (we will place the rest in Little Free Libraries around town).  A neighbor came and got craft supplies to make homecoming signs for high schoolers.  And I knew a local teacher was looking for stuffed animals for a big event coming up – animals go there.

 

The teacher needing animals came right away when I messaged her today.  She and I dug through the piles of animals that didn’t find homes during the sale.  We found EVERYTHING – bears, dogs, bunnies, turtles, stingray, whales, parrots, snakes, cats, fish – even COWS and PIGS!  In the end, we found over 3 garbage bags FULL of stuffed animals for the school event (and we still have all of the other stuffies that are not animal shaped!)

 

Car full of stuffed animals!pronou

So once again I am reminded that the Kindness Yard Sale is not only a place to raise money.  It is not only a place to find treasures.  But it is also a place to learn, to find community, and to be reminded of the beauty of the human experience.

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