The Sounds of The Season

You don’t think of ADVENT CALENDARS as having a “sound”. 

I mean, they are inanimate objects.  Simple or ornate paper creations with tiny doors that peel open daily – December 1 – 24 – to reveal a small “prize” each day.  Most offer a small piece of chocolate (usually of questionable quality…).  But all offer tradition.  A sense of holiday.  Something to look forward to.  A bit of routine.  And a of excitement for what is just around the corner – creeping closer, closer, closer day by day – Christmas.

But one thing they do not have is a “sound”.

Unless, that is, they are LIFE-SIZE.

And not made of paper, but wood.

And not on a mantle or dining room table, but on the purple porch of an almost 100-year-old yellow house on the corner of a very busy intersection.

In that case, with that particular advent calendar, many, many sounds are on offer.

The sound of little feet scampering up 6 steps.  Then back down.

The sound of small wooden doors – various sizes, shapes, and colors – opening, closing, opening, closing.

The sound of giggles and laughter.

The sound of the doorbell dinging or tiny hands knocking every couple of hours to report that today’s cubby is empty and could it please be refilled.

The sound of wrapping paper being ripped away to reveal the magic that is today’s treat.

The sound of chatter as children sitting on the top step eating whatever deliciousness they discovered behind the door of the day.

The sounds of crying as a tiny piece of today’s toy treasure drops between the cracks of the old steps and disappears into darkness (and the sound of old bones creaking as Miss Susan ventures under the cobweb filled porch to try and retrieve the prize).

The sounds of friends – old and new – staying and chatting after meeting up and discovering what was behind today’s door.

The sound – over and over and over day after day after 24 days – of “Good morning friend!  Do you know what day it is day??  The numbers look like…The door is pink and the handle is blue…”.

The sound of whistles, freshly unwrapped, being blown as loudly as possible on the porch, down the steps, down the sidewalk, across the street, and on and on and on the way.

The sound of “Merry Christmas – thank you Miss Susan and Mr. David” for 20 days straight by 2 little visitors who faithfully visited until vacation plans ended their visits before the final cubby door could be opened.

The sounds of joy and curiosity and love and friendship and community and holiday and glee and wonder and tradition.

The sounds of the season.

Total Kindness Activist funds used:  $977.83, which sounds like an awful lot until you break it down:

$40.74 per day for 24 days

Average of 55 visitors per day

.74 cents per visitor per day

Value - priceless

We Never Know

I had a reminder one recent afternoon that life is short.  And that people are experiencing things that we cannot see from the outside, and we should treat everyone with kindness and respect.

I was in the dining room and heard my partner David talking to someone on the front porch.  That is not unusual – we have people drop by often to bring items for the Little Yellow Free Pantry or to pick up something we are giving away or just to stop and chat.  I peeked outside to see who he was talking to, and saw it was a woman with a large bag at her feet.

I popped outside to join them.  The woman explained that she had some clothing to donate – men’s clothes, and some shoes.  Immediately I envisioned the current state of our attic – filled to the brim with donated clothing that was supposed to be sold at this summer’s Kindness Fundraiser Yard Sale, but the event was postponed until next spring due to rain.

“Ahhh…” I mumbled, thinking, “How do I explain that we are not accepting clothing donations right now without being rude?”. 

“Your husband explained that you aren’t taking donations right now.  That’s ok,” she said quietly.

I gave her the usual spiel about how the sale was cancelled this summer so we are way over-stocked.  She listened, then said, “I understand…  I spent all afternoon getting this together…”.

Those moments are hard.  What to say?

Then she quietly said, “My husband just died,” and the tears started to flow.

Ahhh – these were her husband’s clothes.  She had spent all afternoon sorting and folding and bagging his things.  If she is anything like me, she probably held the shirts close, sniffed them, remembered where she had seen him wear them…

The situation had changed. 

This woman was giving not only to help others, but to help herself heal. 

I asked permission to hug her and she gladly accepted.  David and I said that of course, we would love the clothing and boots.  She was uncomfortable with that – we had made it clear that we are not accepting things right now.  But given this circumstance – of COURSE we would accept the gifts.

We helped her unload her car and I asked questions about her husband.  I didn’t want to make her more sad or be nosy, but I figured if the tables were turned I would wish for opportunities to tell people about David.

He was only 70 years old.  Had a physical just a few days before he died.  They were on vacation – first one in a long time due to Covid.  She had just retired a couple of months earlier…  And he died very quickly.  Paramedics worked an hour to revive him, but he was gone.

We stood in the frigid air and talked a few minutes.  She is very much like me – no children, no family in the area.  And now alone.  In a house full of her love of 40 years possessions.

We don’t know what anyone is going through.  Be gentle with one another.  And celebrate every moment you have on earth. 

Kindness Ripples From A Stranger

Who would think that unpacking boxes of donated food could make a person cry…

And yet this evening, it has.

I was out of town over the weekend and the Pantry Crew took over pantry duty for me.  They are a crack bunch of humans who bring in donations and fill the pantry.  You see, since the LYFP has been in existence for 2 ½ years now, people have come to rely on it and know that if they need something, it is a resource.  So, when we are not here to take care of it, the Pantry Crew takes over.

As I was waiting for my Lyft to take me to the airport on Thursday, the Amazon driver stopped and dropped off some boxes.  I rushed to put them inside before jumping in my ride.  And the Pantry Crew brought more boxes that arrived while I was gone.  Now that I am back home, I have begun the task of opening boxes and putting the donations onto the storage shelves.

And that’s what brought me to tears…

People are donating in memory of E.A. Raven.

 

I told the story of this amazing human last week.  She was the “patron saint” of the Little Yellow Free Pantry – a complete stranger who must’ve heard about Kindness Activist by reading about us in the Washington Post or seeing the story about us on “On The Road With Steve Hartman”.  However she heard about our mission, she supported it wholeheartedly and gave very, very generously.  When her sister, another stranger to me, reached out to tell me that she had died, I cried.

 

And this evening donations coming in bearing her name made me tear up again.

 

Cheesy mashed potato cups.  Go-Go Squeeze.  Toilet paper.  A summer sausage. Shelf stable meals.  Soup.  Maple Flavored Spam…  And more.

 

All in memory of E.A. Raven.

May her generosity and commitment to making the world a better place continue to create kindness ripples near and far. 

Thanks, E.A. Raven.  Your work continues.  You are remembered.

(If you would like to donate items to the Little Yellow Free Pantry, the Amazon wish list is here:  Little Yellow Free Pantry Wish List

You can sort the list by priority (high to low) to see what is most needed. 

What is urgent as of November 6 is jars of peanut butter of any brand and type (we are out), cans of vegetables and fruit, cake mixes of any brand and flavor (we are out), and shelf stable meals (like Hormel Compleats or something similar – we go through a lot of those). 

THANK YOU.

 

 

 

 

Mysterious, Generous, Beautiful Kindness

Kindness Activist learned of a death in the “family” today. 

I am sorry to share that the beloved, magical, and mysterious E.A. Raven has died.

E.A. Raven was what could be called the “patron saint” of Kindness Activist.  She contributed so much over the last 10 months.

And yet – she remained a mystery. 

We never met.  I was never sure how she had found out about our work. 

But she was one of the most enthusiastic supporters ever.

I think it all started in December of 2022.  The annual Santa Project was underway – an event that invites children to write and mail letters to the North Pole right from our house in South Arlington, Virginia.  In 2022, 229 letters were written to Santa.  And each and every one of those children who wrote received a personal letter from Santa and at least one gift that they had asked for (most kids got 2 or 3 things).

The Santa Project is a herculean task, and last year I harnessed the power of the people and ASKED FOR HELP.  I made an Amazon wish list with things the letter writers were asking for and shared the link to the list.

That’s when the magic started.

Packages started arriving with Amazon notes signed “E.A. Raven”.  And not just one package, no, the mystery donor granted wish after wish after wish.  I was astounded and oh so thankful.

But the deliveries didn’t stop after Christmas was over.  Instead, they became even more frequent…  E.A. Raven would send food and toiletries to help stock the Little Yellow Free Pantry, a pantry outside our home that helps neighbors experiencing food insecurity make ends meet.  E.A. Raven followed the wish list for the Little Yellow Pantry and sent so, so, so many wonderful things.

One thing I loved about her gifts for the pantry is that she was not judgmental in the least.  Many people who donate food wouldn’t think to donate something “extravagant” like jelly or cake frosting or cookies.  But E.A. Raven and I agreed – everybody deserves good food, and that includes a treat now and then.  Food pantries shouldn’t be just cans of tuna and green beans.

She and I developed a friendship, I like to think.  A friendship, even though we never met. 

And even though I didn’t know who this beautiful human was. 

I don’t know how she found out about Kindness Activist.  Maybe she saw the story on CBS News?  Maybe she read a piece in the Washington Post?  However she heard about our mission, she was 100% on board and supported our work with a passion.

I didn’t have any way to communicate with E.A. Raven.  Well, no way except to scan the codes on the Amazon gift notes included in the boxes and write her thank you notes.  I loved writing them.  I would thank her for whatever she sent, then sometimes tell her about the weather we were having.  Remind her how grateful we were for her donations.  Sometimes my messages were too long (there is a character limit to Amazon thank you s) and I would have to write “cont” on one and write more on the next note. 

I tried to get some details from her, to solve the mystery.  I wanted to send her a Kind Is Cool t-shirt – asked her size and where to send it.  No reply. 

 

I must confess that my friends and I were a bit obsessed about this stranger.  We fantasized about who this wonderful woman must be.  At first, we thought she was using a nom de plume – after all – E. A. Raven sounds a bit like Edgar Allen (Poe), author of The Raven…

 

I resorted to Googling her.  I found a Facebook page that I thought was hers that was meant to showcase her writing, but it was closed.  Still, I sent a message.  No response. 

 

I found some information online about a person who I thought was her…  Perhaps this was her – a woman who held a patent…

 

But really, the mystery was part of the allure.  Not knowing who she was somehow made the boxes and boxes and boxes that arrived full of donations even more special.

 

A few months ago, one of the notes included with a donation explained that she was going to be in the hospital having a procedure done.  I was worried, as were the members of the Pantry Crew.  We wanted to send her flowers and a get well card.  I asked again for her address in a thank you, no reply.

 

She didn’t send any donations for about a month after the surgery.  We were nervous – was she ok??? 

 

Because you see, it was not the donations we were missing.  It was our friend.  Our far away, never before seen, mysterious magical friend.

 

She sent a few more things.  She included a sweet note that said she was in rehab now and it was difficult to order off Amazon using her phone.  I wished on a star for her to get well.

 

Today I got an email from another stranger, E.A. Raven’s sister.  She broke the news: “My sister Betty Raven loved donating items to your charity.  Sadly, she passed a week ago.  I wanted to inform you so that you understand why she stopped donating.”

 

I cried.  Cried for a woman I had never met but was so very thankful for.  I asked her sister when the memorial service would be because I hoped I could take time to go and honor her.  Sadly, the services have already happened.  And strangely, she died on Mary Day, the anniversary of my mom’s death in 2002.

 

Her sister sent a link to the obituary.  It was not until her death that I found out exactly who E.A. Raven was.  And boy oh boy, was she a powerhouse.  She paved the way for women who followed in her footsteps.  I wish I could have met her.  I think we would’ve gotten along swimmingly.

 

Rest in peace, E.A. Raven.  You brightened our lives with your mystery.  You made us smile with your sweet notes.  You taught us that we can be friends with those we have never met.  You fed many, many people in this community.  You were a shining example of KINDNESS. 

 

Thank you.

Here is a link to her inspirational obituary:  E.A. Raven

Number 365

Our Delegate to the Virginia Assembly, Alfonso Lopez, stopped by this evening.  His mission was to put up a yard sign on our busy corner (we are squarely in his team so he knows that ask gets a “yes”). 

But while he was here, we took time to chat.  Talked about the upcoming elections.  Talked about the repair to the porch David is working on.  Talked about the family arriving in America soon that needs temporary housing.  What an honor to have direct access to someone who represents us in government.  Not all Americans have that privilege, and I am thankful we do.

As we talked, I remembered that I have never shared an important story that involves Alfonso.  There are many reasons it has not been written about – time to sit down and compose being a factor.  But the main reason is this:  talking about yourself is difficult.  It can come across as boasting, which is a trait that I do not admire. 

But then I thought, by NOT sharing this story, I am not giving Alfonso the gratitude and respect that he deserves for honoring me in such a special and significant way.  And by not sharing it, I miss an opportunity to spread some kindness ripples. 

So – here’s the story…

On February 12, 2023 we hosted the 2^nd birthday party for the Little Yellow Free Pantry.  I invited the community, and my sister even flew in from Omaha to be a part of the celebration.  We had hoped for a sunny, chilly day full of laughter and cupcakes and cookies.  Instead, what we got was a very cold, rainy day – but still full of laughter and cupcakes and cookies.

It rained super hard.  We had a canopy set up and guests huddled under it around the fire pit.  Kids created crafts (with glitter, lots of glitter!!) on the covered back porch.  We drank hot cocoa and hot tea.  One of David’s jobs was to periodically poke the underside of the canopy with a broom handle to move the puddles that had formed onto the ground.  Once the puddle he was getting rid of splashed right into the firepit – smoke and ashes flew everywhere.  Cue the laughter…

One pantry guest who is without housing came by to get food and we invited him into the celebration.  He sat right down and chatted with the other everyone.  It was a cold day, but fun.

Late in the afternoon, State Representative Alfonso Lopez showed up.  And he brought with him a large blue folder, inside of which was a formal print of House Joint Resolution 365 – commending me, Susan Thompson-Gaines, for my work as a Kindness Activist.  Makes me tear up even thinking about it.

I don’t do this work for accolades.  I don’t do it to be recognized or applauded. 

I do kindness work because it makes my heart happy, and it makes the world a kinder place.  And really, don’t we all want happy hearts and a kind place to live?

Alfonso read the resolution aloud, and a kind neighbor videoed some of it and shared it with me, which I will share in the link here.

Alfonso Lopez Reading House Joint Resolution No. 365

Thank you Alfonso.  I am humbled and I am honored.  Maybe someday I will have an actual Kindness Activist OFFICE instead of working off the very full dining room table at home.  When that happens I can frame and hang this beautiful piece of parchment and hang it on the wall.

Until then, I will keep up the kindness.  Even on days when it is hard, and there feels like too much to juggle.  I would like to think that me finding this passion and diving into it so deeply would make my parents proud.  Wish they could see this Joint Resolution…  My dad would’ve photocopied this puppy 2 dozen times and handed out copies to all of his buddies (he might’ve even faxed it to a few of them…), and my mom most certainly would’ve cried when she saw it.

Go out there and be kind, friends.  It doesn’t cost you anything.  And it can honestly make a dent in changing the world.

Thanks. 

 

P.S. – I just noticed tonight that it is House Joint Resolution Number 365.  I think that means 365 days in a year.  As in, be kind 365.

 

#KindnessActivist   #JustBeKind   #BeKind365

 

Chips of Kindness

I put out a call recently asking for donations for the Little Yellow Free Pantry that we have outside our home, a pantry that feeds so many people in the community. 

And many, many people heard the call and responded.  Thank you. 

The donations have been coming in, making me smile each and every time.  The shelves in our basement that hold pantry supplies are no longer bare.  My wish was that we could stock up really good NOW, in October and November.  Because once the “busy season” starts (the annual Santa Project, where kids come to our home and write and mail letters to Santa, then he writes each and every one back and gets them something they asked for), I won’t have the time or energy to focus on the pantry.  It has to be ready to sort of “run itself” for that period.   

I wanted to take a moment to tell you the story of a new pantry guest.  I love to share stories of people who visit the pantry so that you have an idea of where the amazing things you donate are going.

A new guest showed up recently.  She is a sweet woman, tiny in stature, an immigrant.  She moved into the community with her son not long ago.  I saw her at the pantry and went up to talk.  She is very quiet and reserved. 

I explained that the food was for everyone.  She smiled and lowered her head, shaking it to say “no”.  I tried again.  “No, really, it is free!  It is for everyone, please take what you would like.”  Again, a shy “no”.

She asked if I knew of a place that she might be able to rent and explained that she and her child are currently living in a nearby hotel, which is eating up all of the money they have.  The boy is enrolled in school and she would like to stay in the same district.  I told her I would put some feelers out to see if I could find any leads.  She left with just a couple of cans of food.

I saw her again a few days later.  Again, I offered food, and again, she shyly declined.  But then she explained that she felt bad taking the food without giving something in return.  Was there anything she could do to help, she asked.

We agreed that she would come back the next day and volunteer.  Before she left, I begged her to take some food.  The only thing she asked for was CHIPS for her son.  “He likes chips,” she said quietly.  I rushed to the storage area and came back with chips, soup, chili, tuna, and a few other cans.  She was embarrassed to be offered so much.  “Give it to others, please, share with others,” she told me.  She left with a few cans of food and bags of the coveted chips.

She came back the next day just as she promised.  I put her to work hanging up many Halloween costumes that had been donated.  She did a terrific job getting them all organized. 

This woman is someone who benefits from your generosity.  This proud, shy, smart, scared woman.  She is starting life over here with her child.  And because of generous donors to the Little Yellow Free Pantry, she knows she has a safety net and does not need to go to bed hungry.

I have a lead on an apartment for her thanks to an amazing realtor.  I hope to see her again soon so that I can share it.  Our community needs people like her.  People brave enough to uproot themselves and move to a new place to find a better life.  People willing to help out and give back.  People with heart.

Thank you for being so supportive of the work of Kindness Activist.  Because of YOU, we can create kindness ripples one at a time.

If you would like to donate to the Little Yellow Free Pantry, the Amazon wish list can be found here: Little Yellow Free Pantry Wish List

We are currently low on honey, single serving cups of soup of any kind, and peanut butter.  We need canned meat of any kind and soup of any kind. 

Amazon Kindness

Here’s the thing; I believe that people really WANT to be kind.

I think it is an inherent thing, maybe baked into our DNA.

We want to be kind.  But sometimes, we don’t know how.  We don’t see the opportunities.  We feel there is nothing WE can do.  We are too busy, too tired, too overworked, too OVERWHELMED with life to seek out ways to be kind.

But when presented with opportunity, many, many people jump at the chance to be kind. And that fact warms my heart and keeps my work as a Kindness Activist going.

Case in point: over the last 18 or so months I have been working on the skill of delegating.  This is a tough one for me.  I have always unconsciously been of the “the only way to do it right is to do it myself” mentality, but I’ve been working to unravel that thread in my head.  One way I have done that is by outright asking for volunteers. 

That is hard to do…  It is admitting you need help.  Admitting that you CAN’T do it all yourself.

But in the ASKING, you are also OFFERING.  You are offering an opportunity for others to be kind!  And that might be just what they are looking for!!!

This week I asked for help laminating a big pile of signs (signs that I had previously asked for help making and a lovely neighbor took on the task!).  A volunteer popped up right away for laminating – she came and picked up the signs and returned them perfect and lovely - all laminated - the very next day!  I also asked for help breaking down a big donation of rice into smaller sealed packets for the pantry.  Several people volunteered for that task and a mom and her son came over and did it. 

See, people want to be kind.  Kindness can be a gift of support, of help, of time.  I am going to keep trying to improve my skill of offering those opportunities to be kind to the world.

I was fortunate to witness a great act of kindness today!!  You may have seen me mention the Amazon man who bid in the online Kindness Auction.  If you haven’t heard of him, here is the story in a nutshell (then the act of kindness after I catch everyone up on who he is!):

We are hosting a huge community-wide yard sale October 14 and 15.  It is a fundraiser for Kindness Activist, an organization whose mission is simple – SPREAD KINDNESS.  Many, many people in the community donate items to be sold at the fundraiser and shoppers pay what they wish, with the understanding that all money raised will be used for kind acts.

The yard sale was supposed to be in September but got postponed due to rain.  That postponement means another month of our porch being full of boxes and donations.  Another month of having to put ropes up in front of the porch to “subtly” tell passersby that even though it may look like our porch is a yard sale, it is not open yet.

We get a lot of Amazon deliveries because kind people all over the country order from our Amazon wish list and send items to fill the Little Free Pantry outside our home.  So, it is not unusual for Amazon delivery drivers to be on our porch. 

But recently an unlikely interaction with an “Amazon man” happened.  The doorbell rang and my partner David answered.  An Amazon man was standing on the porch and had peered through the front door and spied a Messe Football/Soccer jersey hanging in our dining room.

“I want to buy that!” he told David.  David explained to him the sale was not on yet, and that the jersey in question was not for sale, but it was up for auction in an online auction.  He told him how it all worked and the man gave David his phone number so that we could send him the auction link.

We texted back and forth with him a couple of times, but he never bid.  I thought maybe he lost interest, but then he called us.  He needed help figuring out the system of the auction, so we walked him through it. 

As he was registering, he told us that he had played soccer his whole life and Messi is his favorite player.  He really “needed” that jersey!  He was so excited at the possibility of getting it!

When he finally got into the auction he placed his bid - $14.  Then he quickly placed a second bid - $15.  “You just outbid yourself!” I explained, laughing.  “I know!  But I WANT THAT JERSEY!  I am going to put $20!!” he exclaimed as he upped his bid again.

“Ohhh, there are MORE THINGS in the auction!!” he said.  He started to scroll as we talked and expressed interest in some jewelry.  “I am from Ethiopia, and I am going home soon to get married.  This jewelry would be very nice for my fiancé!”.

We enjoyed chatting with him a bit, then wished him a good night.  The concept of an auction seemed new to him, so David reminded him to keep an eye out for messages to see if he got outbid and needed to bid again (though secretly David told me he was going to keep bidding for the Amazon man if someone outbid him, because we were squarely in the TEAM AMAZON MAN corner by that point!).

The auction ended – Amazon man was the winner of the jersey.  We were really psyched for him.  When we woke up the next morning we found a text that had popped in at 1:48 am.  It was from him and simply read, “Halleluiah”. 

Now, here comes the first act of kindness in this story (well, really it’s the second, because the jersey itself was donated by a kind person!).  Anyway, another bidder, a friend, had seen my mention of the Amazon man in a post.  She contacted me and said, “If it was the Amazon driver who won the jersey for $20, I would like to pay for it”.

Isn’t that so sweet and KIND???

We didn’t tell the Amazon man that someone was treating him until he showed up this morning to pick up his jersey.  I brought it out to him, and he had the biggest smile!  “It is REAL!  It is FIFA!” he exclaimed.  I showed him that it was brand new, and he held it up proudly.  As David snapped this photo of him, the driver of a passing car honked and said, “Hey, I want one, too!” and we all laughed.

Then I told him the news that someone else had already paid for him.  He was stunned!  I explained that the auction was raising money to be used to spread kindness, and someone had given him an act of kindness by covering his cost.  He couldn’t believe it and was so thankful.

We talked a bit.  He showed us photos of his beautiful fiancé, who he will bring to America from Ethiopia this November. 

And before he left to start work for the day, he said, “May I still donate the $20??”.  I told him he did not need to, that his purchase was paid for already.  But he wanted to.  He wanted to help spread kindness, too!

So, this sweet man, this man who works very hard for a living driving and hauling heavy boxes, this man who is probably saving money to pay for his fiancé’s airline ticket and wedding expenses, reached into his pocket and donated $20.

And if that isn’t kind, I don’t know what is.

Salmon and Honey

When people stop to peruse the Little Yellow Free Pantry, because of the way it is situated, often I can only see their legs and feet.  Some legs and feet I recognize, others I do not.  So, today when I saw some unknown legs and feet, I popped outside to see who was there.

It turned out to be someone who hadn’t been to the pantry before.  I kept my distance so as not to frighten her and said, “Hello!” cheerfully.  She stepped to the side of the box and we could see one another.  She was a young-ish woman, very thin, who looked a bit scared and confused.

I approached with a smile and welcomed her.  She had a bag of chips in her hand that she had found in the pantry.  I asked her if there was other food she would like and explained that I would run inside and get it for her if there was.

She was shy and a bit overwhelmed I think.  “No, no, this is ok,” she said, showing me her tiny bag of chips. 

Then she asked what she must have been wondering, “WHAT IS THIS?  Why?  And why so GENEROUS?”.  Her English had a tell-tell accent that let me know this was not her first language, and that made it clear that culturally she had never seen a sight like the Little Yellow Free Pantry.

Her questions were not easy to answer, really.  Not to a skeptical soul.  But I tried.  “Because in this neighborhood, we believe that EVERYONE belongs, and that we all should have good food,” I tried.  Her eyes showed the trust had still not been gained.  “This food is not from ME,” I explained, “It is from EVERYONE,” (I gestured largely, though could never gesture large enough to explain to her that food arrives from strangers around the entire country who support this massive project).  “Everyone together gives.  Many people here do not have food to eat.”

This fact seemed to surprise her.  I could see the wheels spinning in her head and the lightbulb go off – YOU MEAN I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE?

“People visit all day, every day.  In the night, too!  If you come at night, the light will turn on so you can see the food,” I told her.  “Really???  But WHY?” she asked, her head still swirling with this strange concept.

Her “why” was not a question of “why do people need food”, but WHY DID THEY FIND IT IN THIS STRANGE YELLOW BOX ON A BUSY CORNER??

I smiled.  “Because.  Because here, in this community, we work together.  If we have food, we share.  If we do not have food, we come here to get some.  We work together.”

Eventually we built up enough trust that she was willing to tell me that she needed some canned fish.  I ran inside and returned with a basket full of items for her to choose from – an American mistake…  The trust that had been delicately built cracked when I handed her a bag and explained that she could put the items inside it to carry.

“No, no no!!!  Too much!!” she quickly objected.

Damn, why hadn’t i just gotten a couple cans of fish and started out slowly?  Sigh. 

I held up the can of salmon.  She smiled and let out a quiet “yes”.  Tuna?  Smile.  “Enough!  Enough!” she exclaimed. 

I quietly raised the bottle of honey.  “Honey??” I offered.  “Well, I do like honey…” she said quietly as a bit more of her guard dropped.

In the end she let me put a few items in the bag, including a can opener that she needed.  She said that she wanted to help me – what help could she offer?  She explained that she and her son are living in a hotel room but she is hunting for an apartment.  That hunt is proving difficult though, because the places she has checked will not let the two of them share a studio, which is what her budget would allow.  And in the meantime, the hotel is eating away at their funds.

I hope to see her again.  I am bad with names, so I have jotted hers down to try and remember it.  I told her I would love her help and that next time I see her walk by I may have a task for her to do.

In the meantime, she and her son will have fish tonight.  And honey.  And perhaps a bit more trust in this strange new world they are calling home.

 

If you would like to help keep the Little Yellow Free Pantry stocked, we would be grateful and honored.  Donations of shelf-stable, unopened, unexpired food are always welcome, as are full-sized toiletries (no medicines).  We are currently very low on:

-         Peanut butter (any kind)

-         Honey

-         Toothpaste (full sized tubes)

-         Jelly (any flavor)

-         Pop-Tarts (any flavor)

-         Ketchup

-         Soy sauce

-         Mustard

-         Relish

-         Mayonnaise

-         Cans of salmon

-         Spaghetti-Os

-         Cake mix

-         Jars of pickles (any kind)

-     Boxes of Jell-O (any flavor)

If you are local to the DC metro area, donations for the LYFP can be left in the tan and green plastic bin on our front porch near the front door.  If you are not local and would like to order via Amazon, please check out our wishlist here: LYFP Wishlist  . Anything ordered there will ship directly to our home and be put in the pantry storage area, then moved to the LYFP as needed. 

 

 

 

Tiny Dancer, Phone Bill, Groceries, and More

It has been a while since I wrote about how Kindness Activist funds are being used, so this seems like a good time to do an update! 

A neighbor recently told me that she got accepted to LAW SCHOOL.  This is a big deal, and I am so excited for her!  She is a single mamma of an adorable little girl. 

Tiny dancer (photo shared with Mom's permission)

Now, being a solo parent means managing a lot – work, kid’s school, sporting events, play dates…  And adding PARENT’S SCHOOL into the mix makes it even harder to balance.  So, when I saw the mom post that she was looking for someone to give rides to her daughter one night a week from dance class to home, I knew Kindness Activist could help out.  While we can’t commit to actually doing the DRIVING at this time, we COULD donate some funds to help pay for the drivers! 

This donation will help ensure a cutie patootie gets from dance class to home safely, and that mamma can fully focus on class and get a great start on law school.

Kindness Activist funds used:  $100

 

The Little Yellow Free Pantry is a food pantry that Kindness Activist runs in South Arlington, Virginia.  In addition to taking food right out of the pantry, guests have the option of leaving a note explaining what they need and their contact information.  We then arrange to get the items, contact the requester, and either ask them to pick up or we deliver. 

Some notes that were recently left in the Little Yellow Free Pantry

Recently a woman left a note saying that she needed cereal and food for lunches for her children.  This is a common need in the summer – some kids who get free breakfast and lunch during the school year no longer have that resource when school is out.  So, I contacted the requester to get an idea what types of food the children like.  She said, “We are not picky, just thankful”. 

Usually, we pack up items that we have on hand in the pantry storage area for requesters, but this time I ordered online and had everything shipped directly to the family.  They received lots of cereal, juices, mac and cheese, fruit cups, peanut butter, ranch dressing (why do so many kids love ranch??), and pickles 😊.  Those items, supplemented with things they get in the Little Yellow Free Pantry, will help to keep the children fed.

Kindness Activist funds used:  $67.58

 

Some expenditures are very small, but the outcome of them can be LARGE.

One of those is lottery tickets.

Lottery tickets are wishes, dreams, hopes, all squeezed onto a tiny sheet of paper.  They are keys that open the imagination:  IF I WIN, what will I do…  They allow the holder to suspend belief in reality for a few minutes – to instead think “what if….”.  And that, in my opinion, is why lotteries are so popular.  People must know that the chances of them actually winning is very, very, very slim.  But everyone with a ticket gets the chance to fantasize and dream.

So, the other day when the lottery jackpot got really, really high, I bought a ticket for me and a ticket for my partner David when I was at the grocery store.  Did I actually think we would win??  Well, I hoped we would, but I didn’t logically think we would… 

Spoiler alert - David and I did not win

I used the self-check a bit later with my groceries and noticed that the store employee working in that area seemed tired and a bit sad.  Seeing that got me dreaming about her – what if she won millions of dollars!!  What would she do???

I popped back over to customer service and bought another ticket.  I handed it to the self-check employee.  “This is for you.  Good luck!” I said and quickly walked away. 

Did I think she would really WIN the big prize??  I guess not.  But I hoped that the ticket gave her license to dream a bit.  And I hope that she won something.  I doubt I will ever know.

Kindness Activist funds used:  $2

 

Sometimes we get mail delivered to our house that is not addressed to us.  Usually it is for a neighbor, and I just walk to their house and redeliver it.  But recently, we got mail for someone whose name I didn’t recognize.  I had opened it before looking at the name, assuming it was ours, but it turned out to be a stranger’s cell phone bill. 

I looked for the name online and found a Facebook account.  I sent a message to the person, but since we are not Facebook friends they did not see my note.  The bill showed that the customer was not set up to auto-pay their account.

Now, I could have driven or walked to the address on the bill and handed it over…  But I decided that paying it would be a fun act of kindness!  I added an additional message on Facebook explaining about Kindness Activist and letting them know that their bill was taken care of for the month, but again, the message went undelivered.

I wonder what they thought when they got their statement the next month and saw a payment… 

Kindness Activist funds used:  $73.30

 

We were at WalMart recently getting groceries.  As we were finishing up, I noticed a man at the self-check who was struggling to use the system.  I love ringing up groceries, so I asked if I could assist him.  He explained that he didn’t know how to ring up his jalapenos (they didn’t have a SKU to scan, he needed to pull up the produce screen and find them).  I showed him how to do it and he smiled and thanked me.

Then I explained that I (Kindness Activist) would like to pay for his groceries.  He was stunned.  He asked me a couple of times if I was sure, and I returned the smile and assured him that yes, I was sure.

His bags were full of meats and canned vegetables and salsa.  It looked like he was finishing a hard day of work and stopping to get food for his family.  I paid, and he thanked me repeatedly.  He wore a cross necklace, and as we all walked into the parking lot, he said, “God bless you”.

What he didn’t know is that the interaction with him had “blessed” me.  You see, he reminded me of Hector, one of my dad’s roofers.  I am not sure if I ever met Hector in person, but I remember my dad talking about what a great guy he was, such a hard worker.  My dad died in 2018, and Hector died tragically this summer (2023).  They suspect that his metal ladder hit an electric line and he was killed. 

So, this act of kindness made me think of Hector and my dad.  Dad was a shining example of kindness in my life.  He would give you the shirt off his back (and I am sure that Hector benefitted from Dad’s generosity and kindness many times). 

My dad - surrounded by his daughters

Like so many acts of kindness in life, the giver sometimes gets as much (maybe more?) than the receiver.  The stranger got a cart full of groceries, and I got memories of my dad.  And you can’t put a price tag on those.

Kindness Activist funds used:  $151.49