Feliz Navidad Indeed

People often reach out to us at Kindness Activist to see if we can use something they have in our efforts to spread kindness.  This happens especially frequently this time of year – the holiday season.

Well, we recently got an offer that we couldn’t refuse.  One that helped put the JOY into the holiday for one family.

A very kind neighbor who shares a name with me, Susan, reached out saying that she had won a certificate for a free Christmas tree!  Instead of using it to get a tree for her home, she asked if we would like it so that we could find a family in need who might enjoy it.

Challenge accepted.

 

We first offered it to a family we know that is going through a very difficult period.  They were not up for the challenge of setting up and decorating a tree this year (which I understand totally). 

 

We watched visitors coming to the Little Yellow Free Pantry, trying to identify someone there who might benefit from it.  The problem is they would need a vehicle to transport it and a large space to put it up.  Those are things that many of our guests do not have.

 

We are very, very busy right now with the Santa Project (an annual event we host where children write letters to Santa).  Between organizing gifts and writing return letters from Santa for over 200 children, there are many days in December where I don’t leave the house except to fill the pantry, set out the daily poll on the corner, and chat with guests coming to get treats from the countdown calendar on our porch (it is day 17 today, and the treats are goodies!!)

 

But we had the certificate in hand and we needed to find a family for it before the live trees were all sold out, so off we went to the Optimist Club tree lot one sunny Sunday afternoon.  It was a great excuse to get out of the house actually.

 

Shhh - we have a certificate for an amazing free Christmas tree!!!

Only, it turned out the tree lot was in a wealthy part of town.  The trees were gorgeous, but very expensive, and the people coming to buy them there were able to afford them without any problem. 

 

One thing about Kindness Activist is that we are an organization is that it is not needs based.  We believe that every human being can benefit from kindness.  That’s why we often surprise people by doing things like paying for their groceries – we know they have the money to cover them or they wouldn’t be checking out, but they are inspired and delighted to receive kindness. 

 

But this particular act of kindness – surprising someone with a free Christmas tree – this one felt as if it should go to a family in need.  And it didn’t look like we were going to find such a family at the Optimist Club tree lot.  We talked it over and decided to head to the closest Home Depot and see if we might be able to make the magic work there.

 

And it certainly did work.

 

It didn’t take long to find a sweet family looking at trees.  We watched them a bit to make sure they were in the market for a BIG one (the certificate was good for a 7-foot tree!!).  And then we approached…

 

Sometimes offering a kindness such as this is delicate.  We do not want the receiver to feel that we are looking down on them, that we are pitying them.  After all, they do not know who we are and that we like to spread kindness wherever we go.  To them we are just 2 random people approaching them smiling.

 

We did not share a common language, but one of the children was able to interpret (and from the look of things it seemed like they often functioned in that role).  We asked if they were shopping for a tree and explained that we would like to give them this certificate that would allow them to get a free tree.  “Not here,” we told them, “You would need to drive about 10 minutes.  The address is here on the paper,” we showed them.

 

The child interpreted, smiles in her eyes, as the parents looked over the certificate.  They nodded.  “Yes!  Yes!” they said.

 

“Feliz Navidad!  Merry Christmas!” we told them as we left to come back home.

 

I turned back to see them standing amidst the Christmas trees.  They looked a bit stunned, but happy.  I am guessing they followed us to the parking lot very quickly and made their way to the other tree lot.

 

I hope they ended up with the most beautiful Christmas tree ever and that their holiday season is filled with even more wonder and magic.

 

Feliz Navidad everyone. 

 

Feliz Navidad.

Counting Down to Kindness

When you do a kind act, you have no idea the effect it has on others.

And it can be something so simple, so quick, so inexpensive.  Helping someone get something off a high shelf at the grocery store.  Complimenting someone's winter hat.  Pitching in $5 to help someone who doesn't have quite enough to pay for their purchase.

Since beginning Kindness Activist years ago, spreading kindness has become so ingrained in my life that sometimes I forget to pause and take note of it.  It is just part of everyday life around here.  And that's when I am thankful that something happens to remind me: stop.  Breathe.  Look.  FEEL.  Feel the effect that putting kindness into the world has.  Let that warmth resonate.  Let it give you energy to keep going.

I got one last night - a gentle reminder.  I didn't realize it, but I needed it.  Here's what happened.

Kindness Activist purchased 17 advent calendars at Trader Joe's when they first came out late October.  I like advent calendars - I don't remember doing them growing up, but as an adult, I like the repetition and certainty of them.  Counting down, one by one.  Calming.  And also exciting - getting closer and closer to the anticipated date.

If you shop at Trader Joe's, you know these calendars are not expensive.  They are a loss-leader for the store to get people in (like me!) who will pile many more items in their cart before they check-out.  

Yesterday was December 1st - the beginning of advent calendar season.  We had a super busy day and honestly, had forgotten to bring the box of calendars back to our home from storage.  Late in the afternoon we remembered, and David ran over to pick them up.

I posted in the neighborhood group - 17 advent calendars up for grabs!  Come get them - one per child per household.  Must come tonight.

People commented immediately, very excited to score the treats.  One comment stood out.  Someone wrote:  "We have two kids - this would make their month/year.  Can pick up right away since I'm just down the street".  I replied that I would hold 2 for them, and before long the father knocked on our door.  

I showed him the calendars and had him choose which 2 were best for his kids.  He took them with such care and made eye contact with me.  "Thank you.  Thank you so much.  My kids will be so happy.  I lost my job a few months ago...  We've already told the kids that Christmas will be lean this year.  So, you can't understand how thankful I am for these calendars."

Such a simple gesture - pick up cheap advent calendars and share the joy.

But it is impossible to predict what an effect it would have.  

To me - it was an advent calendar.  To that family - it was a small piece of normalcy.  A glimmer of hope.  An unexpected bit of magic.

Thank you for the reminder, sir.  It gave me the fuel I need to get through this week.  

I will continue the mission - I will spread kindness.  And I will hold your family in my heart and do all I can to make your holiday season a happy one.

Kindness Activist funds spent - $23.25 ($1.37 per calendar)

Reminder of the importance of spreading kindness - priceless

Giving Thanks

Holidays are sometimes hard for me.

I feel melancholy, not social.  Holidays make me think a lot.  I have a strong desire to make them special, yet I have an innate understanding that the specialness will not occur.  Dichotomy. 

Hence, melancholy.

But today…  Today is Thanksgiving, and we made a new friend.  A friend who represents the spirit of the holiday.  The magic of the season.

His name is Javier.

I looked out the window and saw a vehicle pulled into the last spot of the street with trunk open.  This usually indicates INCOMING.  Normally, incoming donation for the Little Yellow Food Pantry.  Sometimes, incoming warm coats for Project Warmth.  Sometimes, incoming gifts of delicious cookies.

But today, I was not sure…  Instead of bringing the bags that he pulled out of the car to the porch for donation, he was going straight to the pantry.  I reassessed – maybe this was someone who needed food, not someone giving food.

I went out to say hello and was greeted with the biggest smile.

“This is your box??” he asked, pointing to the Little Yellow Free Pantry.

 

“Yes!  Do you need food?” I asked.  The smile returned.  “NO!  No.  I do not need food.  I GIVE FOOD.”

And that was the start of an hour-long conversation, and the beginning of a new friendship.

Javier is an immigrant.  He came to the USA from Honduras, alone, 18 months ago.  And for the first 6 of those months, his food came from a Little Free Pantry, one that was located outside the Central Library in Arlington, Virginia.

As Javier told us his story, he expressed his gratitude over and over.  Gratitude for the country.  For the food.  For the people.

When he first arrived and got a job, he kept $1 of his earnings.  “One dollar,” he said, “One dollar.  In America.  What food can be gotten with one dollar?”.  The rest of the money he sent home to his wife and children, his mother, and used to pay part of the rent for a tiny space he was sharing with another immigrant.

But, like so many who make their way to this country, he was resourceful.  And strong.  And determined.

He got a bicycle.  He got more work.  He got his driver’s license.  He saved and got a car.  And he got more jobs.

He went to university back home.  He had a very good job in his country.  But now here, here in the land of the free, he wakes up at 3:30 am to begin his days.  He studies English on an app.  He reads a book.  He eats his meal.  Then he begins one of four jobs.

They are jobs that some would say are “beneath him”, but he works hard.  He saves.  He sends money home, even to support a cancer charity because his mother has breast cancer. 

And he is thriving here. 

Javier spent every dime he had made today to buy food for others, strangers.  He didn’t know where he would donate it – the pantry he used to frequent has been moved to a new location and he didn’t know where it was.  He searched online and found us – the Little Yellow Free Pantry.  So, without ever meeting us, without having benefited from our services, he came to give back.  Give back to the country and the people who are giving him a new life.

We talked for quite a while outside but it was cold, so David invited him in.  We sat at our messy kitchen table and learned more about his life.  His 3 sons.  His wife.  We got to meet his wife when he video chatted her to introduce us.  I couldn’t help but notice “mi amor” was written across the screen as her ID in his phone. 

We met his mother.  He video chatted her and interpreted for us.  I told him to please explain to her how grateful we were for his donations, and that she raised a very kind man.

Someone had donated pumpkin pies, and we had one left in the fridge.  I offered it to him even before I heard his story and he had accepted with a smile.  As we talked, he said that last year was his first Thanksgiving in his new country.  He had eaten pumpkin pie and remembered it fondly.  But this year, he had told his wife earlier today, no pumpkin pie.  And then magically – PUMPKIN PIE.  Ahhh, this explained the shine in his eyes when he took the dessert from my hands.

If you ever doubt that immigrants are what make this country amazing, please let me introduce you to Javier.  Listen to his story.  Hear how hard he works.  Feel the hope in his heart that he will be able to bring his beautiful wife and children to America.

That is thankful.

This is what deserves Thanksgiving.

 

 P.S. – a text just popped in from Javier.  It says, “This day has been incredible for my life.  I wanted to give, and in the end I received so much more by meeting you and sharing with you.  I hope to see you soon.  It was incredible – the moments by your side.”  We WILL see you soon, new friend.  Thank you for making this holiday not melancholy, but truly special.  Thank you for reminding me what true Thanksgiving is.

 

 

 

World Kindness Day - Kindness Activist Funds Accounting

Happy World Kindness Day!!

The official date was November 13^th, but I am only now taking time to sit down and tell you about it.

A few days before the holiday I put out an ask for help – WHAT SHOULD KINDNESS ACTIVIST DO FOR WORLD KINDNESS DAY?  There were a few parameters.  The suggestions had to be: in the evening since I had to work all day, could have a budget but not a huuuuge budget, and should spread kindness to multiple people.

There were lots of ideas generated!  It was hard to choose just one, and I am sure that we will use some of the other ideas as the months go on.  But one suggestion stood out.  The writer said: “You should go to a cheap gas station and watch for people who were paying with cash.  Then you should use Kindness money to help them get more gas”. 

PERFECT!  It fit all of the criteria – could happen after work, needed funds but not a huge amount of money, and would spread kindness to multiple people.  Love it!

The suggester told me that they had been in the situation of not having enough money to fill their tank before.  They explained that it was humiliating to only be able to put a few bucks of gas in when everyone around you was filling up.  They said if they ever had someone offer extra cash to them to fill their tank they would’ve been delighted.

So once work was over – off we went!

We had printed flyers with beautiful drawings explaining it was World Kindness Day (one side English, one side Spanish).  We drove to our favorite gas station, parked, and waited.

It was actually fun to wait!  We watched people get out of their cars and tried to guess – are they paying cash or credit?  When they walked into the gas station before putting in gas, we assumed they were paying cash.  But sometimes we got tricked – they were going in to get food or coffee or play the lottery games.

So, we waited more.

And finally… we found someone! 

A man parked at the pump but didn’t get out of his vehicle.  We watched as he moved around a bit and I realized – he is looking for bills and counting the cash getting ready to go pay.  And sure enough, when I followed him into the station, he was paying with one and five dollar bills.  He asked for $20 worth of gas (which we all know does not go that far these day…).  I put 2 $20s on the counter, handed him the World Kindness Day flyer, and asked if we could double his gas. 

He was a bit confused.  A bit shocked.  And very surprised. 

He said SURE, and I wished him a happy World Kindness Day as I left and got back in our car.

He was texting as he walked out of the station to his vehicle, I am guessing telling someone, “You will never guess what just happened to me…”  It was so fun to watch him fill his tank.  He was happy.  He smiled and read, then re-read the flyer.  When he finished with the gas, he folded the flyer and put it in his pocket.  He saw us in our car, smiled and waved, and off he went.

We waited again and the next person paying with cash was a woman.  I followed her in, wished her a happy World Kindness Day, and explained we wanted to add $20 to her total.  She was so excited!!  She gave us a big thank you as she passed our car.

The station was closing so I asked the person who originally suggested the idea if they knew a good place to try next.  They told us about a gas station not too far away and off we went.

We parked and started the wait.  I told David, “I think the employee saw us park here, what if he calls the police on us?”.  We had a giggle imagining what we would say to explain to the police just what we were doing.

A gas customer pulled up and went inside.  I rushed in, flyers and cash in hand, and plopped $20 on the counter to add to his money.  He smiled and thanked me, but it was the cashier who was the most excited.  He seemed to have a hard time believing this was happening – a stranger paying for someone’s gas.

After the person filled their tank and left, the cashier came to the window and smiled really big.  He gave us a thumbs up – so sweet.

One more cash customer came before the station closed, and we added $20 to his tank, too.  Then the cashier started his close up routine and we made our decision – we wanted to give $20 to him, too.  I popped back inside, wished him a happy World Kindness Day, and gave him a flyer and cash.  Wow was he delighted.

We had a great evening.  We didn’t get to surprise as many people as we had hoped so we are planning to go out and do this kind act again another time (earlier in the day).

Amazing artwork by neighbors Bella and Joshua

We also had a big poster in front of our home that invited passersby to add a note saying how they would make the world a kinder place.  It was super fun to read what people wrote.

I will pose the same question we asked neighbors to YOU – what will YOU do to make the world a kinder place?

Happy World Kindness Day everybody!

Kindness Activist funds used:  $100

The Big Red Box of Cookies

It is such an honor to be entrusted with the Kindness Activist funds.  When we see a way to use some of them to spread kindness, well, it makes my heart sing.

Tonight we spied a golden opportunity.  We were at Trader Joe’s doing some grocery shopping.  As we were checking out, I spied a woman in line with a small hand-held basket of groceries.  She was managing that with one hand, while her other hand carried what I consider to be a holiday tradition – the big red tin of cookies.

If you shop at Trader Joe’s, you know the one.  It’s far too big for a family of 2 to get through, but we buy one every year.  I mean, they are tasty! 

I whispered to David, “Look, she is getting the cookies!  Let’s buy her groceries,”.  So, we stuck around a bit until she was called to an open register. 

I walked up and greeted her.  “Hi!  I see you are buying one of our favorite items, those cookies!”.  We exchanged a smile.  “I run an organization that spreads kindness.  We would like to pay for your groceries tonight if you don’t mind,” I said.

The look on her face!  A moment where she was most certainly thinking, “Did I hear what I think I just heard??” and then a quiet question, “But, why???”.  “Because!” I explained, “We like to spread kindness!”.

So, while the cashier rang up her order, we talked all things Trader Joe’s.  she was stocking up on the same frozen Indian meals I like to eat for lunches.  She had a bread we have never tried and explained which cheese I should get to put on it.

And when all was rung up, I put in the credit card.  She was so very thankful and grateful.  From the looks of what she was buying, I am guessing she lives alone.  She was a bit older than me – maybe in her late 60s.  All of her items fit snugly into one brown paper bag. 

She thanked me again, then off she went into the night, her smile never leaving her face.  I am hoping that she went home, ate some of the tasty bread with cheese, and will break open the gorgeous red tin of cookies before bed time.  Maybe she will eat cookies and drink tea… 

I know that when she does, she will smile again and remember how good the kindness of strangers feels.

Kindness Activist Funds spent:  $47.92

 

 

Now THAT'S A Partner!!

There are partnerships, and there are PARTNERSHIPS.

And CubeSmart® in Shirlington, VA + Kindness Activist = a PARTNERSHIP.

From the first contact back in Autumn 2021, CubeSmart® has been gracious and supportive of Kindness Activist, a grassroots South Arlington, Virginia based non-profit organization.  And the tremendous response from the nationwide storage company is fitting, really.

You see, Kindness Activist’s sole purpose is to SPREAD KINDNESS.  They spread kindness, then share the stories about it.  The belief is that by talking openly about kindness, “kindness ripples” are spread, each ripple inspiring readers to go out into the world and be kind.

But Kindness Activist is usually on the giving end of kindness.  So, when CubeSmart® was generous enough to donate a storage unit, well, that was amazing! 

The organization’s main source of income is the annual “Kindness Fundraising Yard Sale”, a huge event that many in the community look forward to.  How it works:  neighbors donate items, and anything and everything shows up: tools, puzzles, toys, children’s books, clothing, shoes, kitchen equipment of all types, linens, arts and craft supplies, sporting goods – you name it!  Shoppers find treasures at the Kindness Fundraiser Yard Sale!!

Then, on the sale scheduled days, shoppers descend.  People from all around the community – speaking many languages, of all ages and all abilities – come to shop!  Only, at this sale, shoppers are not here to score a bargain.  They are here to donate however much they decide to support kindness.  Because the money that they give for items all goes to the organization and is then used to spread kindness in the world.

But you see, the problem always lies between the COLLECTION DATES and the SALE DATES…  Susan Thompson-Gaines, the founder of Kindness Activist, resides in South Arlington, Virginia.  Over the years the sales got bigger, and her porch and basement got fuller…  I mean, there are only so many boxes that can be stored in a residential home and on a porch…

So, a volunteer reached out to CubeSmart® to see if they could help out.

And help out they did!!  Once they heard about the mission, CubeSmart® was 100% on-board.  They donated the use of a storage unit for Kindness Activist, and when that one was full, a month before the next scheduled fundraiser, they donated a 2^nd unit!

And let’s be clear here – those storage units have been life savers to Kindness Activist.  Instead of collecting donations in the week before the sales as had to be the case prior to CubeSmart’s offering, neighbors can now donate year-round.  This allows two things to happen:  more money flows into the organization with the yard sales, and more kindness is able to be spread.

Thompson-Gaines can’t say enough good things about CubeSmart’s storage facility.  “It is great!  It’s clean, safe, and welcoming.  The staff are incredible and supportive.  CubeSmart® has made a huge difference to Kindness Activist, and we are grateful!”.

If you ever want to see a perfectly packed storage unit, just ask Susan.  Volunteers sorted and boxed donations, then applied their master “Tetris” skills to fill the storage unit.  “You might be able to fit a couple of pieces of paper in there between the boxes, but that would be all,” Thompson-Gaines says with a smile.  “But just wait until September when the next Kindness Fundraiser Yard Sale happens!  Those boxes are full of amazing items, items shoppers will be excited to find.  Thank you, CubeSmart®.  Your partnership has allowed Kindness Activist to flourish.  I refer customers to you all the time, because I know you will treat them well and their things will be stored with peace of mind.”

To learn more about Kindness Activist, check out the website at www.TheKindnessActivist.org and follow us on Facebook (Kindness Activist).

It's Happened!

Oh.  My.  Goodness.

 

It’s happened.

 

Such a mix of feelings – elated, scared, relieved, excited… 

 

The IRS responded – KINDNESS ACTIVIST IS AN OFFICIAL 501C3!!

 

I have been doing Kindness Activist work since December 2015, close to a decade.  It started small – writing stories of kindness that I witnessed, did, or received.  As I often explain when I speak to groups about kindness – I was in a sad place in my life.  I looked for kindness as an experiment really.  I wondered if there was actually kindness out there, and if there was, did it make a difference in the world?

 

That social experiment has made a huge difference in my life.  It has given me a new lens through which to view the world.  It has made my life more fulfilled, happier, more full of joy.  It has introduced me to people I would never have met had I not gone on this mission.

 

And now it is “official”.

 

I’ve been wanting to make Kindness Activist a 501C3 for years but have put it off.  It seemed so daunting and scary.  But many people have nudged me and pushed, and I knew it was the right thing to do.  It just required taking a big leap to go for it.

 

There are so many people to thank.  The people who kept at me – reminding me it was not only necessary but it was possible.  The amazing lawyers who assisted me pro-bono to get the corporation established (required before filing for non-profit).  The people who accepted offers to join the board.  The people who cheered and hugged along the way.  The people who show up to volunteer to unload trucks and wrap gifts and decorate trees and tie ribbons to our fence...

 

And the most amazing, supportive partner on the planet, David Gaines. 

 

When I started writing stories of kindness, I had no idea how much our lives would change.  I didn’t know our basement would turn into a de facto grocery store to supply the Little Yellow Free Pantry.  I didn’t know that traveling in November and December would become almost impossible due to the Santa Project.  I didn’t fathom that our basement apartment would be filled with coats and sweaters to hand out all winter in Project Warmth.  I could never have imagined that strangers would knock on our front door or honk and wave as they drove by.  I never pictured a neon green Just Be Kind sign on the Big Yellow House.

 

But David, you have stood by my side through all of it (and more).  You have held me when I cried, rubbed my back when I was exhausted, and laughed with me in the rain.  You put in soooo many hours on that dang IRS form 1023.  My dream of kindness has changed both of our lives, and I thank you for riding the wave with me and being the very best “husband for scale” this human could ever have asked for.

 

The official letter came today.  We only filed 13 days ago, and the instructions say it can take up to 180 days to get a response.  I was hoping to hear quickly but never imaged it would be in under 2 weeks.

 

Have not had time to process it all yet, so I am unsure of how/what changes now.  I promise to keep you updated and to keep the kindness rolling.  I promise to keep sharing the stories of kindness. 

 

But for now I need to take a breath.  Pause a moment.  Take it all in.  Drink a bit of bubbly. 

 

And shed a few more tears of happiness. 

 

Cuz it happened, it really happened!

Jumping Blooper

To Be Known

Met someone new tonight.

We were sitting outside on the porch steps sorting items for our big sale.  A person pushing a baby stroller, sans baby, rounded the corner.  We smiled and said hello and instead of walking by, they came up to us.

 

“Just got out of the hospital,” they told us.  It wasn’t until half an hour later that they showed us the still clean hospital band.  But when they said “just got out”, I think they meant JUST got out.

 

We had a nice chat.  Well, mostly we listened.  The stories were a bit confused but if we paid attention we could follow.  The most pressing issue seemed to be diabetes.  In the beginning of the story, we thought they had recently been diagnosed with diabetes, so expressed our sadness at that.  But then the tale turned, and they DIDN’T have diabetes after all.  We expressed our relief.  Only, then they announced that they were going to sue the hospital for giving them an illegal shot of insulin that “gave them” diabetes.  Ahhh, back to expressing regret.

 

I asked if they were hungry and they said yes.  “What would you like?” I asked.  “Oh, anything you’ve got!!” they told me.  We had already talked about them not having housing, so I figured something warm would be a treat.

 

I was ready to leave David to chat while I went down to make the guest dinner.  I told them it would take about 5 minutes and they said, “No worries!  I will look at my “Little House on the Prairie” book.  They held up a special edition magazine featuring the actors from the TV show “Little House on the Prairie”.  Flashbacks to watching Laura and Nellie and Ma and Pa.  But a total surprise as reading material for this guest.

 

I popped inside to make dinner.  Hormel Completes are excellent in these situations – all you have to do is microwave them for 60 seconds and they are ready to go.  I chose a meatloaf and mashed potatoes meal and put it in to heat.  I also started to brew a cup of coffee, the requested drink.

 

And I set about looking on the pantry shelves to find food suitable for this guest.  A guest who had everything they owned in a baby stroller, and who may (or may not…) have diabetes.

 

I filled a bag with: crackers, meat stick, jerky, toothpaste, toothbrush, canned mangoes, can of ham, Spam, can of sardines, nail clippers, jar of instant coffee, Sun Chips, and a can opener.

 

I balanced all the items and went out to present the meal.  They were very happy with the choice and I joked about what a “good cook” I am.  I explained that I had collected some things they might want, and they could say yes or no for each item.

 

Well, every single thing I took out of that bag was met with a smile and a big YES.  And I realized – ahhhh.  They have been in the hospital.  I bet they lost everything they had during that experience and now are having to collect it all again.  Hard.

 

They stayed and chatted for quite a long time.  They are a veteran – Marines.  Had been stationed in Germany.  Don’t like to be in large groups because loud noises disturb them.  From the south.  Lost a brother to drugs. 

 

I think really, they just wanted someone to listen.  To sit in the sunshine with cars passing by and listen, without judging.  Without advising. 

 

And isn’t that what we ALL want?  One of our favorite singers, Carsie Blanton, has a hauntingly beautiful song called, “Isn’t It All You’ve Ever Wanted”.  The lyrics are:

 

TO BE KNOWN

all the melancholy on the wind
low as a prayer spoken
you feel it blowing through you
everywhere your heart is broken
haunts you like a shadow when
you’re walking through the city on you own

all the ghosts who holler in the night
will try to make you lonely
and when in desperation
someone says that you’re the only one they want
you’ll go to sleep beside them
but you’ll wake up all alone

isn’t it all you ever wanted to be known?

remember when you thought
somebody else was waiting for you
and all the emptiness would end if only they’d adore you
how you had a child’s way of dreaming
don’t you miss it now you’ve grown

and isn’t it all you ever wanted to be known?

all the melancholy on the wind
you feel it shuffle through ya
how it breaks you open
til you’re singing hallelujah
never know the gravity of grace
until it hits you like a stone

isn’t it all you ever wanted to be known?

 

 

When it was time to make their exit, our new friend told us we were “family” now.  They packed up their new treats carefully and told us about a great spot they had found to score free stuff.  They had seen the sign for the upcoming sale and said they would see us there.  They invited us to attend an event this month about overdosing where they would be giving out $50 gift cards.  They told us they were going at 3:00 pm to get in line (several hours before the event) to make sure they were one of the first 100 people and get a gift card. 

 

We took the empty coffee cup and dinner plate back and said goodbye.

 

I think we will see them again. I hope they come back. 

 

I mean, we are family now, right?

 

To hear Carsie singing “To Be Known”, click here:  Carsie Blanton To Be Known

 

Special thank you to the donors who graciously give food so that we can have the honor of handing it out. 

Dreams of Mangoes

I am sorry I got frustrated by you before I even met you.

I apologize.

Thursday, September 5^th.  Having a busy day – filling up the pantry first thing in the morning and while on short breaks from work – but I can’t seem to keep up.  Like, every time I fill it, as soon as I come back inside, I see another pair of legs and feet in front of the open pantry (legs and feet are all we can see from inside the house).

So, when I filled the pantry and someone came to get food immediately after I came back inside, then when YOU came not 2 minutes after that, I was a bit frustrated.

I am sorry.

But instead of stewing, I took a deep breath and went outside into the sunshine. 

“Hello!” I said loudly as I crossed the yard to the pantry, so as to warn you that I was on the way and not startle you.

You were a stranger.  You looked gentle.  And the large bag on your back, coupled with the knit stocking cap on this warm autumn-ish day made me think, “Hmmm, I am guessing this person is unhoused.”

I asked if there was anything you didn’t see in the pantry that you needed.  You stared at me a bit blankly, so I gave some examples.  “You know, like canned meat, vegetables, fruit, drinks, meals you can just heat up…  Or toiletries,” I explained.

“Toiletries?  What do you mean by toiletries?” you asked genuinely.

“Oh, like toothpaste.  Or deodorant,” I told you.

You didn’t start giving me a list of what you would like.  Instead, you looked at me with gentle eyes and we stood a bit in silence (well, as silent as a busy corner can be with cars and buses whizzing by).

“I want to explain…” you started.  You didn’t sound embarrassed, but it felt like you needed to clarify.  “I don’t have FIRE yet.”

Fire. 

Ah, my suspicion of not having housing was correct.

“That’s ok!” I replied.  “Do you have access to a microwave?”

You shook your head no.  “I am not living on the street, but, you know, living…”.

“I understand, no problem at all,” I told you, hoping that you could sense that it really was not something I would judge you on.  “Would it be ok if I go inside and get a few things you might like?  I will bring them out and you can choose what you would like”.

You looked at me, very surprised and perhaps overwhelmed.  I smiled, told you to please wait 2 minutes and that I would return.

I rushed down to the pantry storage area and quickly looked for items that I thought would be good for you.  Canned meats.  Canned fruit.  Crackers.  Peanut butter.  Raisins.  Fruit cups.  Chapstick.  A can opener.  Drinks.  And I ran back outside, hoping you would still be there.

You were. 

“Here, I brought some things I thought you might like.  I will show them to you one by one.  Just say yes or no if you want them, I promise I won’t have my feelings hurt if you say no,” I explained before started the “show and tell”.

Can of chicken – yes.

Can of Spam – oh, you told me you hadn’t had Spam in a long time.  You debated it, but it went in the yes pile.

Can opener?

Ah, this is where you opened up.  This is where I got to know you.  Thank you.

You explained that you didn’t want the can opener.  You couldn’t quite put it into words, but I believe you were telling me that you don’t need excess.  You are a minimalist.  And later during our conversation you made such a brilliant point about how people get so attached to things that we miss the opportunities in front of us to interact with humans.  I so agree.

I think you wanted the interaction more than the food, really.  Sure, you took a few items, but honestly, not much.  When I showed you the small box of raisins, you asked if I knew anything that raisins were good for.  “Well, I think they might help you poop…” I said.  You grinned and put your hand out to accept the raisins.  (I hope I was right with that advice.  I am afraid to google it.  I might have had it backwards…  If they make you constipated, I apologize again…)

When I held up the Mint Girl Scout cookies you got that glimmer in your eye that so many of us do when we see the recognizable green box.  Only, you were not excited for you to have them, but rather, you knew a person who would really like those. 

“Take them to the person!” I encouraged.  “It can be a gift!!”.

You considered it, but declined.  You know, minimalist and all.  Plus, as you explained, “I don’t have any storage, no shelves”.  Yup – carrying your life in the big red pack.

You were concerned about me.  When you asked if other people came here for food, I said yes, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  You explained how some people who come here might have mental health issues – maybe PTSD.  You asked was I sure I wanted to have so many people around here?  I smiled.  “Yes, I am sure.  This pantry has been here for 3 ½ years.  I have met lots of people!  And yes, some people do have mental health issues.  That’s why I am careful to say ‘Hello!’ from waaaay over there,” I pointed, “So that I do not startle anyone.”

You want a job.  Are looking for work.  You told me about something you like to mention in job interviews:  I would like a job where they send me into outer space.

Ahhhh – outer space.  Peace.  Quiet.  Shining galaxies all around you.  Wrapped in infinity.

When I showed you the can of mangoes, you hesitated.  “Mangoes are delicious!” I encouraged. 

“Yes, I know.  I had mangoes recently.  But those would be a SPECIAL TREAT.”

 

Ahh, a “special treat”. 

I thought that meant that those were going in your red bag.  That you might sit down this evening, thinking of how you can build fire in this environment where you are having trouble finding wood to burn, and ponder life’s mysteries as you savored the fruit.

I was wrong.

The special treat would wait.  You didn’t take the mangoes. 

Maybe, like the human interaction vs. the food, the mangoes were not the real objective.

Maybe the IDEA of mangoes.  The DREAM of a special treat.

Maybe that is the goal.

May you have fire soon.  May the friend you seemed worried about reply to your email.  May you somehow fish your wish of going into orbit.

And may you dream of mangoes.

 

If you would like to support the Little Yellow Free Pantry, the Amazon wish list can be found here: Little Yellow Free Pantry Wish List .  Items most needed at the moment are canned fruit of any kind, peanut butter, and single serving packs of cereal.

If you live in the DC Metro and would like to drop things off, the wish list is a good indicator of what we can use.  Any brands are fine.  We cannot accept opened or expired items.  Please do not put anything directly in the pantry.  Instead, put it in the tan and green plastic bin on our front porch.  That system allows us to keep better track of what we have and to distribute it more evenly to guests.

Thank you.