Attitude Adjustment (By Way of a Can Opener)

 You know those days when everything, and I do mean everything, gets on your nerves?

 

I was having one of those today.

 

Logically, I know the main reason for it:  I TAKE ON TOO MUCH.  It is overwhelming.  I can’t do it all, can’t keep it straight.  Things fall through the cracks.  And I “fail”.  At least in my view I fail.

 

Logically, oh that good ol’ logic again, logically I know that it is not failure.  I am simply overwhelmed, have bit off more (far more) than I can chew.  No one could keep up the pace and not drop some balls.

 

Logically.

 

And yet I keep trying.  Keep adding to the to do list (then losing the list).

 

So today was one of those days.

 

What was bothering me was the PANTRY.  It is really busy right now, and each time I went out to check it I would find something annoying.

 

First – expired stuff.  Like – fruit bars that expired in 2024.  You don’t want to eat ‘em??  Neither do the people coming to the pantry.

 

Next – dog COOKIES.  Yes, a pack of cookies that looked just like “human cookies” but in the fine print were for dogs.  In a pantry that serves everyone – people who do not read or speak English, children, people who cannot read at all.  DOG TREATS.  No.  I don’t want a guest eating a whole pack of dog treats.

 

Then – a POT and a PAN.  No matter how many times I explain in various social media groups that we do not, that we cannot, accept things other than food and toiletries, people persist.  They put things in the pantry that they think would be helpful to others – bags, plastic silverware, books, a pen yesterday, empty take-out serving containers, plates, bowls, clothes, shoes…  Often it is things that they do not want to throw away, so they put them in the pantry or on the little shelf underneath it that is meant to hold the basket while we fill up the shelves.  And we just can’t handle it.  I don’t know how to explain that it is not our mission.  We can’t be the one-stop-shop.  And we most certainly are not Goodwill.  So don’t leave various stuff here (I always insert a “please” after this rant…).

 

So, steaming mad, I marched out to pick up the pot and pan that someone had left.  And I was confronted with…

 

BROKEN GLASS.

 

Big chunks of thick broken glass, and many, many tiny shards of it, on our sidewalk and in our lawn.  It looked like maybe the person who left the pot and pan also tried to leave a measuring cup or a drinking cup and it shattered on the sidewalk.

 

The same sidewalk that, in just a couple more hours, school kids would be walking down and riding their bikes on. 

 

So, instead of eating lunch on my short break from work, I swept up glass.  And I did it with a very bad attitude, cursing under my breath. 

 

I stomped back in the house, knowing that I had to get back to work.

 

Then the doorbell rang.

 

I opened the door to find someone I hadn’t met before.

 

“Is David here?” they asked with an accent.

 

And instantly, I knew.  I am not sure how I knew, but I knew.  This was the pantry guest that David told me about a couple of weeks ago.  David explained his country of origin and that he lives in his car.

 

“No, David isn’t here, can I help you?” I asked.

 

“Oh, umm, I was just wondering…  If you had any food??” they asked sweetly.

 

“You are _____, aren’t you?” I asked.  HOW I remembered their name I have no idea.  I can barely remember anyone’s name, and somehow this person, someone I had never met and only heard a brief story about 2 or 3 weeks ago, THEIR NAME I knew.

 

They smiled.  “Yes, yes I am.”

 

“David told me about you!  Let me go get you some food.”

 

I filled a bag with things that I knew could be eaten without cooking, plus some snacks, treats, and drinks.  And I put in one of my very favorite special items to hand out.

 

I presented them the bag and pulled the special thing out.  “See this?  I love these.  They are really good!” I explained as I held up a summer sausage. 

 

“Oh yes!  You cut and eat, right??” they clarified. 

 

Yup.  Cut, eat, and yum. 

 

I was rushed to get back to work, but really wished I had more time to talk.  “Hey, do you have a can opener??” I asked, knowing that some of the cans I had given them were not flip top.

 

“No…  No.  But I will use a knife,” they explained.

 

“No!  No.  Seriously, we have can openers!  Let me go grab you one!”.

 

They were so kind, so sensitive.  They didn’t want to take a can opener.  “Leave it for others,” they said gently, wanting to be respectful.

 

“Well, just know that we have more than food.  So if you need ANYTHING, come here and ask, ok?  Clothes.  A coat or hat for winter.  Boots, shoes.  If you have a need, we might be able to get it, so come ask,” I explained as they smiled.

 

They asked about a computer to use to help with a job search.  I pointed out the library just down the street and explained I think anyone can walk in and use a computer.

 

“You can leave that heavy bag of food here if you like.  Go down to the library, use the computer, and come back and pick it up,” I offered.

 

“Oh no, no.  I have the car,” they reminded me.

 

Ahhh yes.  They live in their car… 

 

“Oh that’s right – you have a car.”

 

“Yes ma’am, my car is running on hopes and dreams,” they said.

 

Hopes and dreams.

 

Those fuel their vehicle.

 

Heck, hopes and dreams fuel the world, don’t they?

 

The guest left.

 

I closed the door and turned to go back to work.

 

Tears in my eyes.

 

Hopes and dreams in my heart.

 

And a renewed sense of purpose.

 

 

 .

A Heart Full of Pumpkins

My heart is full, and autumn has officially begun in my world.

Kindness Activist held a PUMPKIN CELEBRATION today, and it was, in a word, glorious.

Did it solve any “real” problems?  No.

Did it end world hunger?  Again, no.

But it DID bring together a community in a unique way.  It gave folks an opportunity to celebrate the season.  It gave new volunteers a chance to help out and spread kindness. 

And pumpkins were the stars of the show.

Hard to choose which little pumpkin you want...

Ohhhhh pumpkins.  I have picked up, transported, and carried pumpkins so many times in the last 24 hours that I may well turn into a pumpkin!  With events like this, it is always impossible to know how many people will show up, which makes it hard to purchase needed supplies.  But we did a bit of math and calculated that we needed 100 small pumpkins/gourds, and 50 bigger ones.  For the bigger pumpkins, we divided the 50 into some BIG ones (more expensive), some FANCY ones (also pricier), and some “regular” old traditional pumpkins (on sale!).  The plan was to give each family one big pumpkin, and each kid age 13 and under could also take one small one. 

Sweet neighbor

We had lots going on!  We had:

-         Pumpkins to choose from

-         Snacks, including homemade cookies from the delightful Duffy, a neighbor who bakes for the Little Yellow Free Pantry and offered to make a special batch for this event.

-         Halloween/Autumn/pumpkin themed books to read aloud

-         The “Penrose Aldi” – a miniature play version of an Aldi’s check-out stand and lots of pretend groceries to purchase.  The check out stand has a belt that MOVES (when the cashier spins a handle) and a scanner that lights up and beeps.  This is fancy, people.

-         Hot cocoa, hot apple cider, and hot coffee

-         Candy and other snacks

-         A raffle with 5 prizes

-         Sidewalk chalk

-         Teeter totter

-     Tattoos (don't worry, the fake kind)

-         On-going 30 second dance parties (every time someone hits the button, loud techno music blasts for 30 seconds)

-         And a super cool craft: guests could paint or color a paper pumpkin or leaf.  The talented Jessica cut out lots of those shapes for the event using her Cricut.

Young artist at work :) 

Like I said, it is hard to know how many people will show up.  I always try to steel myself to be ok if it is just a handful, but this time people came!  Like, we were CROWDED!

Because of a threat of rain, we sat up the Aldis and food on our covered porch.  We had the craft table in the yard, but a back-up craft table was ready on the porch in case it started to pour.  The day was gray, but we only got a tiny bit of drizzle once during the whole 5-hour event. 

Penrose Aldi is OPEN for business!

It was so fun to chat with neighbors!  We caught up with old friends and met new people.  I was delighted to have a couple of kids be brave enough to read stories aloud to younger visitors (and was so glad that I had time to sit on the steps and read some books aloud myself).  Whatever you do – do NOT push that button…  That was one of my favorite stories of the day.

Stories on the steps - I loved hearing these

The artwork people made was amazing!!!  We laminated most of the pumpkins and leaves and tied them to our fence (a few kids wanted to take theirs home).  They look so cute on the fence!  And it is fun to know that the young artists will likely walk or drive past our house and be proud to see their pieces on display. 

Just a few of the painted leaves.  I was too busy to take a lot of photos, but I want to get one that shows the whole fence - it is so pretty!

We gave away the majority of the pumpkins and gourds but still have some left.  And that’s a good thing, because it has allowed us to surprise some people as we were cleaning up.  One man walked by and said hello.  We explained that we had a pumpkin party today, and he gladly accepted our offer to bring a pumpkin home with him.  Another couple pulled over and parked near the pantry.  That often means someone coming to get food, donate something, or perhaps pick up something that we have offered.

But this time it was different.  These people were going out of their way – pulling over and walking up to our house – to thank us.  They weren’t thanking us for today’s event - I don’t think they even knew we were hosting something today.  But they were thanking us for the work that we do in the world.  For spreading kindness.  For being a beacon of hope.  “I drive by your house often on my way to yoga,” the woman said.  “And I drive by all the time on my way to work,” the man chimed in.  They expressed how good it makes them feel to see what goes on here.  Then the woman held something out to me.  “Here, I would like to give you this.  Thank you,” she said.  I looked down at what she had handed me and saw it was money.  I didn’t look at how much it was but I thanked her for being so kind and pitching in.  She said that she appreciates the work that I do, and she hopes others in the community do, too.  We gave them a pumpkin (it was the theme of the day after all) and they were on their way. 

When I peeked at the denomination of the bill I realized:  this complete stranger just gave me $100…  Heart.  Melt.  It reminded me of another time that same exact thing happened when a new to me (at the time) neighbor pulled over a few years ago and did the same thing.  People are so kind.

We sat down to pull out the winning names for the raffle and ANOTHER car pulled over – this time right into our driveway.  David walked over to greet them and see what they needed.

I couldn’t hear the conversation, but the two of them were talking for a long time.  Eventually they walked over and I met the man.  He, too, drives by our house often.  He explained that he just “gets a vibe” from our home.  He asked a friend who lives near us just what this yellow house on the corner was.  “Oh!  That is FRIENDSHIP HOUSE!” they explained to him.

Isn’t that the sweetest?  We’ve heard our home called other things – Kindness House being the most common.  But I didn’t know that in some circles it is known as Friendship House.

He thought we were a business.  In fact, he asked David if we were open.  “Well, this is our house, not an office.  So yeah, we are always open,” David told him.  The man sat down on our steps and we chatted a long time.  He asked (as many people do) if this was all part of a religious organization. 

That’s a really common assumption, and I understand why people think it.  Churches, mosques, and synagogues are most often the groups that work to feed, clothe, and care for their communities.  I explained to the man that people of all faiths are welcome here and indeed, were present at the event today.  He asked some hard questions, like, “Why do you do what you do???”.  Those are tough ones to answer in the moment.  But I guess an honest answer is - because I couldn’t imagine not doing it.  Not talking to strangers.  Not laughing with children.  Not going out of my way to be kind.  It is just who I am.

If our legacy can do anything, I hope that we can demonstrate that one needn’t be a religious institution to spread kindness.  To have open arms.  To be welcoming and supportive.  You can be just ordinary people who have chosen an extraordinary path.  You can just be “Ms. Susan and Mr. David” and make a big impact. 

I honestly thought about cancelling today’s Pumpkin Celebration.  It was supposed to be a really rainy day, and we’ve been busy lately and I am tired.

But I am so glad we forged ahead.  Seeing the smiles, watching the painting, listening to stories being read and smelling hot cocoa…  It was worth the effort and time. 

Simple yard sign - speaks volumes

We aren’t making a huge difference in this world.  But today we did good.  We spread joy and kindness.  One pumpkin at a time.

The young man in blue made the sign hanging behind him.  He and his mamma worked hard on it, and he was SO PROUD when I complimented him on his art.  

Total Kindness Activist funds spent:  $465.47

When I asked a young volunteer to put this sign together, she had to report:
"Ms. Susan - we have a problem...  You do not have a letter "K"...".  In my haste, I suggested that a letter "C", though a bit unusual, might work.  Lucky for me that volunteer's mom (my friend) had the same letter set at home!  She loaned me a "K".  You would think an organization whose name starts with a "K" would have one...

What a pumpkin head

Just be kind.  Cuz, why be anything else?