Attitude Adjustment (By Way of a Can Opener)

 You know those days when everything, and I do mean everything, gets on your nerves?

 

I was having one of those today.

 

Logically, I know the main reason for it:  I TAKE ON TOO MUCH.  It is overwhelming.  I can’t do it all, can’t keep it straight.  Things fall through the cracks.  And I “fail”.  At least in my view I fail.

 

Logically, oh that good ol’ logic again, logically I know that it is not failure.  I am simply overwhelmed, have bit off more (far more) than I can chew.  No one could keep up the pace and not drop some balls.

 

Logically.

 

And yet I keep trying.  Keep adding to the to do list (then losing the list).

 

So today was one of those days.

 

What was bothering me was the PANTRY.  It is really busy right now, and each time I went out to check it I would find something annoying.

 

First – expired stuff.  Like – fruit bars that expired in 2024.  You don’t want to eat ‘em??  Neither do the people coming to the pantry.

 

Next – dog COOKIES.  Yes, a pack of cookies that looked just like “human cookies” but in the fine print were for dogs.  In a pantry that serves everyone – people who do not read or speak English, children, people who cannot read at all.  DOG TREATS.  No.  I don’t want a guest eating a whole pack of dog treats.

 

Then – a POT and a PAN.  No matter how many times I explain in various social media groups that we do not, that we cannot, accept things other than food and toiletries, people persist.  They put things in the pantry that they think would be helpful to others – bags, plastic silverware, books, a pen yesterday, empty take-out serving containers, plates, bowls, clothes, shoes…  Often it is things that they do not want to throw away, so they put them in the pantry or on the little shelf underneath it that is meant to hold the basket while we fill up the shelves.  And we just can’t handle it.  I don’t know how to explain that it is not our mission.  We can’t be the one-stop-shop.  And we most certainly are not Goodwill.  So don’t leave various stuff here (I always insert a “please” after this rant…).

 

So, steaming mad, I marched out to pick up the pot and pan that someone had left.  And I was confronted with…

 

BROKEN GLASS.

 

Big chunks of thick broken glass, and many, many tiny shards of it, on our sidewalk and in our lawn.  It looked like maybe the person who left the pot and pan also tried to leave a measuring cup or a drinking cup and it shattered on the sidewalk.

 

The same sidewalk that, in just a couple more hours, school kids would be walking down and riding their bikes on. 

 

So, instead of eating lunch on my short break from work, I swept up glass.  And I did it with a very bad attitude, cursing under my breath. 

 

I stomped back in the house, knowing that I had to get back to work.

 

Then the doorbell rang.

 

I opened the door to find someone I hadn’t met before.

 

“Is David here?” they asked with an accent.

 

And instantly, I knew.  I am not sure how I knew, but I knew.  This was the pantry guest that David told me about a couple of weeks ago.  David explained his country of origin and that he lives in his car.

 

“No, David isn’t here, can I help you?” I asked.

 

“Oh, umm, I was just wondering…  If you had any food??” they asked sweetly.

 

“You are _____, aren’t you?” I asked.  HOW I remembered their name I have no idea.  I can barely remember anyone’s name, and somehow this person, someone I had never met and only heard a brief story about 2 or 3 weeks ago, THEIR NAME I knew.

 

They smiled.  “Yes, yes I am.”

 

“David told me about you!  Let me go get you some food.”

 

I filled a bag with things that I knew could be eaten without cooking, plus some snacks, treats, and drinks.  And I put in one of my very favorite special items to hand out.

 

I presented them the bag and pulled the special thing out.  “See this?  I love these.  They are really good!” I explained as I held up a summer sausage. 

 

“Oh yes!  You cut and eat, right??” they clarified. 

 

Yup.  Cut, eat, and yum. 

 

I was rushed to get back to work, but really wished I had more time to talk.  “Hey, do you have a can opener??” I asked, knowing that some of the cans I had given them were not flip top.

 

“No…  No.  But I will use a knife,” they explained.

 

“No!  No.  Seriously, we have can openers!  Let me go grab you one!”.

 

They were so kind, so sensitive.  They didn’t want to take a can opener.  “Leave it for others,” they said gently, wanting to be respectful.

 

“Well, just know that we have more than food.  So if you need ANYTHING, come here and ask, ok?  Clothes.  A coat or hat for winter.  Boots, shoes.  If you have a need, we might be able to get it, so come ask,” I explained as they smiled.

 

They asked about a computer to use to help with a job search.  I pointed out the library just down the street and explained I think anyone can walk in and use a computer.

 

“You can leave that heavy bag of food here if you like.  Go down to the library, use the computer, and come back and pick it up,” I offered.

 

“Oh no, no.  I have the car,” they reminded me.

 

Ahhh yes.  They live in their car… 

 

“Oh that’s right – you have a car.”

 

“Yes ma’am, my car is running on hopes and dreams,” they said.

 

Hopes and dreams.

 

Those fuel their vehicle.

 

Heck, hopes and dreams fuel the world, don’t they?

 

The guest left.

 

I closed the door and turned to go back to work.

 

Tears in my eyes.

 

Hopes and dreams in my heart.

 

And a renewed sense of purpose.

 

 

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