I’ve long
believed in the concept of SHARING things that I no longer want/need. You know, what used to be called
“hand-me-downs”. Giving your little
sister or younger cousin the sweaters that no longer fit – that sort of thing.
But in the
last few years, that concept has broadened to beyond outgrown clothes shared
within your family to still good but no longer needed items shared in your
COMMUNITY. I love it! I often give things away on our sidewalk (we
live on a busy intersection). I used to
post things often to give away in a group called Freecycle (check it out –
there is probably one in your neck of the woods). And this year, I found “Buy Nothing”, a super
local group that is organized on Facebook (my branch is “Buy Nothing Columbia
Pike”, but perhaps there is a Buy Nothing by you that you can join!).
The idea of
Freecycle and Buy Nothing is this: just
because you no longer need or want something doesn’t mean you should throw it
away. Instead, you should GIVE IT to a
neighbor! Did you get an extra set of
measuring spoons for your birthday and don’t want two sets? Why, GIVE that old set to a neighbor! Replaced your black purse with a brown one
and don’t want to store the old one?? I
bet a neighbor could use it! Or, your
baby outgrew those adorable Nike tiny tennis shoes??? Some other mother is going to be thrilled to
get them! Instead of throwing things
away or giving them to a thrift store, you are giving them to someone who lives
in your area. It is fabulous! Once someone replies and says they want the
item, you tell them your address and agree on how it will be picked up (I
normally put things I am giving away on our front porch swing, the takers can
show up and get them anytime).
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| This fan is being given away today on Buy Nothing |
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| These kids shoes are on offer by another neighbor |
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| And this toy recently found a new home on Buy Nothing |
Full
disclosure here – I have been using the hashtag #TeamPantsuit for months. I am fully with her. :) So when a “secret Facebook group” (which now
has millions of amazing members!) came about called Pantsuit Nation, I was
thrilled to become a member. And when
election day came around, I went through my closet to find the perfect pantsuit
to wear to the polls. :)
Only, what I
found in my closet that night before the election were several pantsuits that were, ummm, a bit too “snug” for
me. I mean, I had size 2 Petite
pantsuits and even a 0 Petite!!! Lord
knows when I was tiny enough to wear THAT one…
So I took those tiny pantsuits, took photos of them, and posted them in
my Buy Nothing group. I put funny blurbs
to accompany them (I thought they were funny anyway…). Several members “liked” and “loved” the
posts, but no one said, “Oh yes, I need a teeny tiny pantsuit!”.
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| Size O Petite Purple Pantsuit :) |
No one wanted the purple pantsuit, that is, until Sarah, the newest Kindness
Activist. Yes, Sarah commented on the posting that she
would love the purple pantsuit, the SIZE 0 PETITE. Seriously, she is a mother of 2 and wears a 0
Petite… But all jealousy aside, I was
thrilled someone could use the pantsuit!!
So we exchanged pick-up information and I hung the pantsuit (covered
with a bag to keep it clean) on our front door for her to pick up the next day.
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| This is the pantsuit I ended up wearing on election day. We vote with paper ballots, then scan them. This is me right after scanning. Let's just say it was lucky I was smart enough not to wear mascara that day. |
Well, for members of Pantsuit Nation (and for a little
over half of the country it turns out…), the next day, November 9th, was a
depressing and confusing one. Many of us
were walking around in a stupor after staying up until all hours of the morning
watching the election results roll in. When
I left the house for a work assignment that day the pantsuit was still hanging on my front
door. But when I came back, the pantsuit
had been replaced by this:
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| Bright beautiful flowers where the pantsuit had hung |
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| And this lovely note |
Sarah left me FLOWERS and a beautiful note. I couldn’t believe it. She is a complete stranger, and she took the
time to be so kind. She didn’t need to
do that – no “payment” or thank you is expected or required in the “gift
economy” systems of Freecycle and Buy Nothing.
In fact, no one has ever left me a thank you (that I can remember) in
all the times I have given things away.
Needless to say, when I saw the flowers I cried. They were exactly what I needed that
afternoon. And I contacted Sarah via email to ask her a few questions for this
story. Here is what I learned:
Me: How did you think of delivering flowers to a
stranger? What made you do it?
Sarah: “Honestly, I don't know
what made me think of this. I just had on my list that I needed to pick up the
pant suit -- it was almost surreal for me to see that on my to-do list on
Wednesday morning, since, on
Tuesday night, when we had arranged for me to take it, I was in such a
happy, hopeful place. A mere twelve hours later, it felt like a lifetime
ago. I guess I just wanted to reach out and do something to brighten your day,
and I had a bouquet of flowers on my table that my husband had brought me when
I was sick last week, so I plucked the most brightly colored ones out to
counteract the darkness of the day (both literal -- it was so gloomy yesterday
-- and figurative). “
Isn’t that perfect??? I love that the flowers originally came from
someone who was kind to HER when she needed it, her husband, and she managed to
share that kindness with ME. Such a
seemingly small gesture, but trust me it meant SO MUCH to me.
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| Sarah, who has a heart filled with kindness |
I think people like Sarah who are so kind
usually have some inherent reason, something that influenced them. And in Sarah’s case, one of those influences
was the shooting at the school in Newtown, Connecticut, where she is originally
from. She told me, “I try to be as kind
as possible in general, but I feel like the call to kindness is louder and more
urgent when the world is hurting. I grew up in Newtown, Connecticut, and I
(like so many others) was so devastated by the shooting there in 2012. The
town's reaction and unwavering belief that "love wins" was so moving
to me, and "love wins" has become something of a mantra for me. (Some
days it's easier to believe than others, but I do believe it's true.) In fact,
there's a "26 Days of Kindness" campaign that people in my hometown
do -- for the 26 days leading up to the anniversary of the shooting,
individuals perform random, anonymous acts of kindness, each one in honor of a
shooting victim. I did that the first year, and I found it helpful in coping
with the tragedy -- though I generally prefer for acts of kindness to be more
spontaneous and unstructured, I know a lot of people find comfort in the 26
Days ritual.”
I told Sarah that, as the recipient, the
flowers felt to me like a warm hug (on a freezing cold day). She agreed that was an apt description, then
added something that I agree with 100% - “I guess (giving the flowers) also felt
empowering, like maybe I could do something good for the world in the face of a
devastating loss.” That is something I have
noticed about kindness: you don’t set
out to do a kind act to make YOURSELF feel better, but that is often an
unintended consequence. There is a line
in a song from the Broadway Show “Avenue Q” that I like, “When you help others,
you can’t help helping yourself”. It’s
true. Acts of kindness help the
recipient, but they also do something to boost the spirit of the giver.
Sarah, THANK YOU for your kindness.
You lifted my spirits on a day that I need that very much. And, as you said, LOVE WINS.
Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go pick up some brand new tights that a neighbor is giving away.
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