There are a million things one could reasonably say I “should” be doing right now.

But I shall cast those “should”s aside, and instead sit down and write a short story of something magical that happened this week.

May 15^th is my sister Annette’s birthday. 

Actually, some might find it is awkward to say “is”, because most people would say  “was”.  You see, my sister died of glioblastoma (GBM) in December 2019 at the age of 58.  But I say – I am the mourning sister, I can chose to use language in whatever form I see fit. 

So, May 15^th is my sister Annette’s birthday. 

And I chose to celebrate the day by thinking of her and doing things that she enjoyed.

I hit up a local thrift store that was new to me – she LOVED thrift shopping!  And not only did she enjoy it, she was good at it.  There is an art to real thrift shopping, and she was an artist in the highest degree.  And she didn’t shop just “normal” thrift stores, oh no, she shopped at what we call the “junky Goodwill”!!  That’s a store where instead of paying per ITEM, you pay per POUND.  “Treasures” are wheeled out every 30 minutes or so in huge bins, and shoppers go at them like hungry vultures.

Find a Scrabble game missing the board?  She could find it in another bin.

Find a baby toy with 4 out of 5 pieces??  Not to worry – Annette would scour the store until the game was complete.

And find A SHOE – not a pair of shoes, but A SHOE??  You can bet that my sister would find the mate.  (She might even stare down another shopper who was on the same mission and had the mate in THEIR cart…)

I tell you this to say – when I was at the thrift shop and found a single shoe, a shoe that I DID NOT WANT, mind you, but was ON IT’S OWN (and was strangely interesting…) – I STARTED MY HUNT.  I knew the mate was around there somewhere!  I mean, who would’ve bought only ONE SHOE???

I even enlisted the aid of a fellow shopper.  “Ma’am, you see this shoe??  I am looking for the mate!  Can you help me?” I asked.  “Oh honey, those shoes are so YOU!” she said, not knowing that my motive was not to buy the shoes, but simply to succeed in the mission of finding the other one.  Since the shoes had rocks embedded all throughout the sole, I told my assistant to please holler “ROCK!!!” if she spied the mate.

As I looked, I smiled and thought of Annette.  It wouldn’t have taken her nearly as long as it did me to think of hunting in the men’s shoe section.  And when she found it (as I eventually did, then ran with it to yell “roooock!!” at the shopper who was helping me hunt) – when SHE found it, she would’ve bought the shoes.  But since they were much too big for me, and since they looked like actual torture devices, I left them in the store (all matched up neatly now).

But that is not the story I came here to tell. 

I want to share about another part of May 15^th, the part where I went into a nail salon as Kindness Activist to pay for a stranger’s nails.

You see, Annette went to nail school and for a while she did manicures and pedicures.  And decades before that, during my senior year of high school she used toothpicks to paint intricate designs on my long nails many, many times.  So as part of my celebration honoring her birthday, I knew that paying for someone’s nails was on the agenda.

I peeked into the big window of the nail salon near our home.  I felt a sense of panic when there appeared to be NO customers.  This was the one thing I knew I wanted to do on May 15^th.  It was a perfect blend of Annette and me – her nails and my Kindness Activist work.  I walked around a bit and peeked in another window, craning my neck to see the spa chairs. 

And there she was!!!!  A woman with her feet in the water, about to get a pedicure! 

I was so excited.  I had written a little note on the back of a Kindness Activist card that I thought I would give to the recipient as I paid and ask her to give it to the client.  The note said something about how this gift was in honor of my sister who did nails. 

I went to the cash register and explained that I wanted to pay for the woman’s nails.  “What woman?” the clerk asked. 

I thought, ummm, the only woman in here right now???

 

But she insisted that I identify what woman, and so I followed her back to the nail area, expecting to see the woman I had spied through the window.  But, surprise, there were 2 women getting treatments!  Oops!! 

I pointed to the woman I had seen through the window and clarified, “THAT WOMAN!”.

Then I approached her, with her feet in the warm water resting.  I quietly explained that I wanted to pay for her nails today, and that it was in honor of my sister.  “I will pay for the nails, but you leave a good tip, ok??”.  She happily agreed to that arrangement and looked at me a bit in shock.

 

“May I hug you??” she asked.

 

It is rare that I would say no to a hug, so I bent down and we gave each other a big squeeze.  “This is the kind of thing that happens on TV,” she said, “I never ever expected it to happen to me,”.

I paid for her manicure and pedicure, and as I walked out of the salon I cried. 

I didn’t know it at the time, but the woman getting her nails done also cried.

And how do I know that??   Well, I found out 3 days later.

You see, Thursday night I walked out onto the front porch to do some work for the Little Yellow Free Pantry, and a woman walked up.  She smiled a very big smile and said, very thoughtfully, “Thank you”.

Now, you should know that strangers passing our home saying “Thank you” is not unusual.  People holler it from their cars.  People shout it out from their bicycles.  And pedestrians stop and chat and say thanks.

So, at first, I thought this was an “overall thank you”.  You know, thank you for the work you do for the community.  Thank you for spreading kindness. 

But this particular thank you seemed so heartfelt, so personal…. 

I looked the woman in the eye, returned her smile, and said, “You are welcome”.

And that’s when she held up her hands to show me her pink fingernails.

“It was me.  You paid for my nails.  Thank you.”

I never thought I would see her again!  Most of the Kindness Activist actions do not get the closure that this one did.  The woman explained that she and the friend who was with her walk by our home about four days a week.  She knew our house – the “Just Be Kind” sign, the whole vibe of the place.  And she had taken time to look at the Kindness Activist website after I gave her the card with the note on it, so she understood the depth of the work.

She told me that she had tried to write to me several times since May 15^th, but she teared up each time and couldn’t finish.  I told her that part of my belief as a Kindness Activist is that we all deserve kindness.  “I knew you had enough money to pay for your services that day,” I told her.  “If you didn’t you wouldn’t have been there.  But it isn’t about ‘need’, it is about KINDNESS.”

She looked at me intently and explained that the kindness had come at the perfect time.  She had taken herself to the salon that day to try and treat herself – to cheer herself up.  She is going through a rough patch, and she needed to do something special for herself.  And that is when the kindness just magically appeared.

Isn’t that the sweetest?  That it all just happened so perfectly – she was where she needed to be, and I was where I needed to be.  And our interaction brought a bit of healing to BOTH of us that day.  “I never thought anything like that would happen to me,” she said. 

It is not the big things, friends.  It’s not surprising people with new cars or sending them on a week-long vacation.

It is the tiny things.  Smiling at the stranger.  Letting the person ahead of you in traffic.  Complimenting the cashier on their necklace.  Giving a tired mom with a cranky toddler a look of, “This is hard, but you are a good mother”.  BEING KIND.

I hope that after I die, when my birth date is a “was” and not an “is”, people who knew me take time on June 16^th to honor my memory by going out and doing something kind.  Anything!  Just something.

Wait…  Why wait until I am dead???  Maybe NOW, this year, on June 16^th, you can all do something kind for someone…  And you can email me and tell me what you did (with photos or drawings please!!) and I can put your stories of kindness together and share them here!!!  Oh that would be such a wonderful birthday present – I would LOVE it. 

So, if you would be so kind, please go out into the world on June 16, 2023 and SPREAD SOME KINDNESS.  Be a Kindness Activist.  Then email me the story of what you did at:  kindnessactivist@gmail.com .  Pretty please!

 

P.S. – the woman who was treated to a free mani/pedi told me, “I have wanted to come to your house and talk to you, but I didn’t want to seem like a weirdo or something”.  Friends – I talk to people that I have never met before all day!  I love chatting with new people!  So never ever think you are a “weirdo” for approaching a stranger to talk.  The worst they can do is ignore you, and if they do, no harm no foul!

P.P.S. - Here are the thrift store shoes!!  

Before the hunt

AFTER!!!  Found both!  And ouchie wawa they look painful.
I know, I know, they are chakra/massage/special/something-or-other,
but they also look painful and weighed about 5 lbs each :)