Dear Mrs. Susan

Sometimes Kindness Activist funds are used in pretty simple, straightforward ways.  Purchasing groceries for neighbors in need.  Buying thank you presents for local teachers.  Surprising strangers with a gift.

But other times the money finds its way out into the world to try and right a wrong.  Repair a wound.  Or make a very painful situation just a little bit better.

That’s what happened recently when a young friend reached out with this message,

“Dear Mrs. Susan, 

One of my friend’s dad has brain cancer and today the doctor said that he might only be able to live for a few more weeks. I was wondering if you had any ideas of ways that I could make my friend feel better and not as sad. Thank you so much for your help.”

My heart ached. 

I knew the dad that she was talking about.  He was our neighbor, a very cool man who had the exact same diagnosis that my sister had a few years ago.  When I had read that he had glioblastoma (GBM) and that his wife was asking for help, David and I pitched in.  They needed rides for him to get him to and from the seemingly endless appointments that come with a GBM diagnosis – doctor visits, radiation, nutritionist…  We signed up for some shifts of transportation, and Kindness Activist donated $100 to the GoFundMe for the family.

And now my young friend was reaching out asking for ideas of how to help her friend, the man’s child, “feel better and not so sad”.  Oh, it is all so hard.

I replied to the email: “I know your friend’s dad, too.  It makes me very sad that the dr said the tumors have spread.  You probably don't know this, but my big sister Annette died of the same kind of cancer.  When your friend’s dad was first diagnosed, Mr. David and I drove him to some doctor visits for appointments.  Kindness Activist also donated to the Go Fund Me.  I like your idea of finding a way to help your friend feel better and not so sad.  Do you have any ideas what we could do for them?  

I mean, we could do something like take them out for ice cream and a movie...  Or to a play (I think they love plays, right?).  But honestly, in my experience with my sister, they might not want to be away from their dad much right now.  Knowing that there is not much time left makes you want to be sure to be there for every moment you can (in some people - maybe your friend is not like that, obviously everyone is different).  Do they like to read?  I know their mom does.

Let me know if you have some ideas, ok?  You are so smart and caring and kind.  I know the MOST important thing now is for you to be their FRIEND.  They are likely very scared and sad.  Please write me back and let me know if you have some ideas.”

We went back and forth via email for a bit and settled on a gift basket.  I would take my friend to Target, and she would choose items that she knew her friend liked.  It seemed like a solid plan. 

Until he died before we could get the gift basket together.

It was so sad.  I suspected that my young friend had not experience a lot of death or grief – not many children have.  And I imagined how frightened she must be.  I mean, if your friend’s dad can die, doesn’t that point out the vulnerability of your own father? 

She emailed again – she had seen the news about his death.  I think we both felt awful that we had not been able to make time to get the basket together, but we set a date to go shopping and her mom came along.

This child was so THOUGHTFUL.  I mean, I know that she is kind and caring, but she was so careful in choosing what to buy.  She looked over all of the candy before making selections.  She carefully debated which type of popcorn would be best, which drink (“I know she loves tea!”).  She chose a nice journal, then we debated which pens would be best and examined all of the choices.  She chose a perfect basket to put everything in.  And to finish it off – a gift card for Fortnite, which she knew her friend loved.

We checked out, they dropped me back at home.  She added a note she had written for her friend and they went to deliver the basket.  She had a plan: put the basket in front of the door, get back in her car, and text the family to let them know it was there. 

It wasn’t long before I got another email,

“Dear Mrs. Susan,

When we dropped of the gift basket I put it on their step, knocked and then ran to my car. Their sister answered the door gave two thumbs ups and a heart. After my friend messaged me and said “omg thank you!!” And sent some emojis I said “I hope you like it” and they said “I do!” I think that they really appreciated it. Thank you again for letting us use kindness money.”

Will some candy, snacks, a journal, and Fortnite make the pain go away?

No. 

But maybe it will be a reminder that the child is not alone.  That their friends are there for them, ready to listen when they want to talk. 

Because that is what friends are for.

Heart emoji.

Kindness Activist funds used:  $74.89

Worth every penny.

Kind Kids Market - May I Interest You in a Bracelet?

Whew – the first Kind Kids Market is done!  It was a scorcher of a day, and we had 2 small rain storms to deal with, but we not only survived, we THRIVED!

I know, I know, you are all curious how much money the kind kids raised.  But honestly, that is the least important part of the day, so we will get to that reveal in a bit 😊 .

Most of (but not all) of the Kind Kids who worked at the market

First – the kids.  Oh my goodness, they were fabulous!!  We had 13 participants who displayed a wide variety of products.  We had: handmade beaded bracelets with tiny beads, handmade beaded bracelets with pony beads, handmade bracelets made with rubberbands, handmade rings made with rubberbands, painted art, stamped art, fancy pretzels, cookies, muffins, banana bread, mango lassi, 2 flavors of Kool-Aid, painted rocks, lemonade, handmade crocheted hearts that could be keychains or pins depending on the buyer’s preference, handmade fidgets, and temporary tattoos – all served up with big smiles and lots of enthusiasm!!  (I hope I captured all of the booths here, if I missed one I apologize.)

Of course, I purchased quite a few items.  I mean, how could I not??  I bought a painted rock, some Kool Aid, a glass of lemonade, 2 bracelets, a ring, a fidget, a heart, and some painted/stamped artwork!  Oh, and a mango lassi!  I was a shopping fool I tell you! 

Some moments definitely stood out for me.  One was when a remarkable stranger walked past.  He had no idea this delightful market was happening, but he walked right in and approached a kind kid.  He asked lots of genuine questions and was so supportive of the artists and they were proud to tell him about their work.  Another favorite moment for me was when the oldest kid involved, a teen, ended up being the center of attention.  I don’t know that person very well, but from what I gather, they are a bit shy and reserved.  I wasn’t sure they would want to participate in the event but they DID, and I am so happy about that!  Because during a slow time of the market, this teen had several little artists crunched up around them.  The teen had pulled out their extra stash of beads and elastic and was teaching the little kids how to make things!!  And they all were loving it.  In fact, David overheard one little boy tell the teen, “You are a really good teacher”.  Heart.  Melt.  A child came up to me at one point and said, “You are doing a good job!”.  I suspect it was the same boy 😊.  I also was so delighted that a child from a family that Kindness Activist has helped in the past participated.  They were so excited to get involved, and the parent’s pride in being able to help and really give back was palpable.  I loved that many of the booths allowed customers to place custom orders and they made the items on the spot!  That is something that doesn’t happen at many markets!  I got a few custom pieces, of course.  And the other thing that really stood out to me was the parents being so very supportive of their kind kids.  It was lovely.

Events like this may appear simple.  I mean, it is just setting up a few tables, inviting some kids, and taking a few hours out of your Sunday, right?  But to make them come off well, to make it all look easy, a lot of pre-work is involved.  And a lot of day of work, too!  For this ONE EVENT to happen, this tiny 3-hour market, a total of over 86 volunteer hours were put in by 26 people.  Isn’t it remarkable to me to see it broken down like that?  Over 86 hours!  And that does not even count the hours that the kind kids spent making their things to sell!!  I do not take for granted the wonderful people willing to volunteer their time to support Kindness Activist.  Without the community, events like this could not be a success.

Ok, it is time to get to the big reveal of how much money was raised and how it will be split.  The agreement with the kind kids is that we would total all money raised and divide that in 2.  Half of the funds would go to Kindness Activist to support our mission of spreading kindness, and the other half would be split evenly among the kids who participated. 

I am proud to announce…

That the Kind Kid Market raised $573!!!

Kindness Activist will receive half, and the kind kids who worked at the event (13 kids) will split the other half.  That means that each kind kid will get $22!! 

The first participant rang the doorbell this evening to deliver the bracelet she made for me after the event (custom, of course!) and I had the honor of presenting her an envelope with her $22.  Her eyes lit up.  “That’s a LOT!” she said.  “That’s more than a whole MONTH of allowance!!”.  So sweet.

I am not sure what most of the kids will do with the money they earned, but I DO know what one sweet little girl has planned.  Daisy is going to use the money she earned to buy food for the Little Free Pantry at her school. 

Kids get it. 

Kids are kind.

They give me hope for the future.

Thanks to everyone who supported the event by volunteering, being a vendor, and shopping.  And thanks to David who was, as he always is, a great sport and hard worker.  He even agreed to wear his romper for the day. 

Happy Kind Kids Market everyone!  May your bracelets be stretchy and your cookies taste yummy.

Coffee, Stars, and Just a Touch of Magic

I got to chat with a new pantry guest early this morning.

Well, they are not a “new” guest I guess.  I mean, I have seen them before. But this is the first time they were willing to engage with me.

The interaction started like the previous attempt I made had.  Today I saw them at the pantry, and it was when I had just woken up so I had not been out to fill it yet.  Usually it is almost empty the first thing every morning, so I assumed they didn’t find much in it.

I saw them walk to the corner and stand, waiting for the light to change.  “Good morning!” I said loudly from the porch.  “Was there any food in there??”.

They turned to look at me.  But no reply.

“Did you find any food in the pantry?  Do you need something?” I tried again.

They raised their hands and gestured to me.  “Ahhh yes!” I remembered.  “This happened the last time I tried to talk with them…  Maybe they are Deaf…”.

I gestured back.  Hungry?  Food?  Drink?

They gestured something I did not understand – it looked like a number 3, then a “w” drawn in the air.

Hmmm.

I signed, “Deaf??”.

They stared.

And then they spoke. 

But they spoke very quietly.  On a busy street corner.  When I was standing on the porch – not near them.

“What?” I asked, hoping for more volume.

Again, WORDS, but what?

I hurried down the stairs, hoping if I was close and could hear, we might share a common language.

“Are you hungry?  Would you like some food?  Comida?”  I asked, adding in a couple of gestures for good measure.

“What?  Me?  Eat?” was the very quiet reply.

I tried again, and they whispered another answer.

“We have food.  Do you want some?” I tried.

“You have fruit??” I thought I heard.

“Yes, we have fruit!  Banana??   How about a cup of hot coffee?” I offered.

“Coffee??  Are you ok with that??” they timidly replied.

“Yes!  Yes!!  Coffee!  Please wait here.  If you want, sit here,” I pointed to our front steps.

“Sit?  Are you ok with that??” they asked politely.

“Yes, yes.  Sit if you like.  Coffee – milk and sugar??”.

“Yes.  Milk.  And sugar.”

I rushed in to make a coffee and gather some food that might work for them.  From their clothing and bags, they appeared to not have housing, so I chose things that could be eaten without heating if necessary, and threw in a can opener in case they needed one.  I also picked up a backpack in case their current bags were too full to hold the food.

When I came back outside they had indeed accepted the offer to sit on the steps.  And they had turned on their phone to listen to music while resting in the sun.

“Coffee!” I said as I presented the steaming hot cup and sat the basket full of food choices down.

“I have everything…  But do not have my passport…” they nervously explained.

Ahhhh, maybe that was the confusion!  Perhaps they thought they needed to register or qualify for help here.

“Oh no!  No passport needed.  No papers.  This is not the government.  Not the state or the county.  This is just us.”

I am not sure that was clear them, but they accepted the coffee and I sat down with them.

We chatted as they very carefully added the sugar and cream to their coffee.  I learned that they have two children.  I learned what country they came here from.  I learned that they are working with a great local agency to get support, but do not quite understand how it all works.

“Do you have employment??” they asked.

“No, sorry.  We do not have any jobs here.  But your case manager will help you with that.”

It was clear that they really want to work.  They were so gentle and sweet.

“I don’t want to go to jail.  When you sit, the people, the people with uniforms, they come to talk.  Mostly the police.  I do not want to go to jail.”

It’s so sad.  Horrible to have to have that constant fear of getting into trouble.

There was some confusion over how things work.  “I have SNAP.  But the card…  The card does not work…”.

I tried to figure out what the problem was, and explained if they walked to the county building just a few blocks from our home, they could get help with their SNAP card.

“No, I go there, but you have to go 5 times.  Always new people.”

And somehow, somewhere, they had learned this "fact" that they thought was true (and I guess might explain in their mind why their SNAP card is failing...):  if you find a penny and pick it up, your SNAP stops working.

“Well, this is not SNAP.  This food is FREE.  No papers.  No SNAP.  Just free,” I explained as I offered them the basked again.

As we chatted, another sweet pantry guest approached.  I made sure to offer our new friend first dibs on everything I had chosen specially for them.  They really only wanted a water, Gatorade, and the coffee.  The second guest then looked thru the loot (I had brought up really special items – a summer sausage, box of Girl Scout cookies, and more).  That person was so happy!  When looking at the cookies, they said, “Ninos!” and I smiled and said, “Si, ninos!”.  Those kids are going to be happy when they come home from school.

I needed to get back inside to start my work day so had to excuse myself.  But not before my new friend told me that I was very nice, and that they really like our “Just Be Kind” sign.

“You see the stars??” they said, pointing at the sky.

“Oh yes!  Every night.  I love to look at the stars.”

“And the moon,” they added.

Ah yes.  The stars and moon.

No matter where we live.  Whatever country.  Whatever house or apartment or street corner we call home.

We can all look up at the stars and the moon.

Before I came back inside the guest taught me a trick.  I will share it here with you.  They tell me it works even better with bigger paper, but sugar packets is what we had on hand.

I love that they shared this magic with me.  Sharing coffee is easy.  Sharing conversation is fun. 

But sharing magic??  Well, that is something very special indeed.