I Almost Didn't Open the Door

I almost didn’t open the door.

Look, I am TIRED.  I am getting over a cold (still coughing, ear still congested).  Work has been hard. 

I am tired.

So when I saw a car parked right by the Little Yellow Free Pantry, I almost didn’t go outside.

I had already done the hard part.  I had gone out and assessed what the pantry was missing (which was almost everything, I think there were 3 random canned goods and one box of mac and cheese).  I had gone downstairs and collected things in a basket.  I had lugged the heavy basket up the stairs.

But then I looked out.

I didn’t recognize the car, but I just had a feeling…

“They are sitting there waiting for me to go out and fill the pantry….” I thought.  “And as soon as I fill it and go back inside, they are going to get out of their car, take everything, then drive off.”

It was not a kind thought.  But I wasn’t in a kind mood.

Having people park outside the pantry then “pounce” is something I have feared ever since the Little Free Pantry at a nearby library closed.  That was what happened there – people would hang out in their cars and wait for a donor to arrive to stock the pantry.  Then they would jump out and empty the shelves.

We have worked hard to not have that culture at the LYFP.  We have a sign that reminds people to take only what they need and leave some for others.  We have conversations with people explaining that many, many people use the pantry, so please be careful to leave food for others.  We also try to model the concept of “enough to go around” by keeping the pantry stocked.  If visitors can come to trust that there will be more food the next time they need it, they are less likely to take too much.

And we have been really successful!  Our guests are by and large very respectful of others and rarely take too much. I am proud of how respectful the community is.

But still, for some reason, I can’t seem to get rid of that nagging fear.

So today, I almost didn’t go out.

Then I made a compromise with myself.  It’s silly, I know, but I am being honest here.  I told myself, “You already lugged the heavy basket upstairs.  You don’t KNOW that car has anyone in it.  And even if it does, it could be an Uber driver or someone just reading their phone. You are being suspicious for no reason.  How about going outside and peeking in the pantry, which will allow you to see if the car is empty or not.  You don’t even have to carry the heavy basket!  Just take a walk in the sunshine and see if your fear is founded in reality or not.” 

That was the deal I made with myself.

So. I opened the front door.

And a stranger was standing right there on the porch, not even having had the time to knock or ring the bell yet.

“Oh, hi!” I said, a bit startled.  “Can I help you?”

A meek voice politely said, “Umm, yes.  I saw online, umm, is this, may I, is this the place where I can get some food?  I am staying in my car…”.

And just like that, my defenses went down. 

My heart was warmed.

My kindness returned.

And I was moved.

“Yes!  Yes.  This is the place.  There is a yellow box right around the corner with food,” I said, gesturing to the LYFP.  “Wait, actually, there is not much in it at the moment…  Usually there is.  Ummm, tell you what.  I will go down and get you some food.  You can choose what you would like.  Do you have anything in particular you want?  Any allergies?” I asked.

“Oh.  Anything really.  Any food.  No allergies.  But, ummm, I am in my car…” they reminded me sheepishly.

“No worries!  I get it.  Please wait here.  I will bring up some food that will work without cooking it.”

And off I went. 

I ignored the heavy basket I had already brought up and went down to make this new guest a basket of specially curated items.

Shelf stable almond milk.

Soup that doesn’t need water added.

Fruit.

Canned meat.

Granola bars.

A can opener.

Deodorant.

Toothpaste and toothbrush.

Pre-cooked pasta.

Pre-cooked seasoned rice.

Packets to make water taste like flavors.

Some drinks.

Heat and eat meals (Compleats).

Ramin in a cup (just add hot water).

A cup of cereal.

Pop-Tarts.

Graham crackers.

Peanut butter mixed with chocolate.

Garlic.

Apple sauce.

Mango cup.

Pepper.

And more.

I grabbed a large canvas tote and climbed the stairs with the haul.

When I went back on the porch I explained, “OK.  These are your choices!  If you want something, you put it in this bag.  If not, it will be for someone else.”

And I started pulling items out.

At first, they were hesitant to take much.  They accepted one or two things, then started saying no.

“Hey, this is all for you.  It is your first time here!  Usually, we won’t be able to give you this much.  But today – anything you want from here is yours.”

“Oh, ummm, ok….”  they said quietly, then started saying yes. 

There was a no to something, I forgot what, then the explanation, “I have diabetes”.  Oh my –diabetes is a hard illness to navigate under traditional circumstances.  I can’t imagine trying to keep blood sugar under control while living in a car.

I was more careful in what I offered after that.  “Here is applesauce, but I am sure it has sugar…”.

“That’s ok, a little bit is alright.”

Item by item, we moved things from the basket to the bag.  Some things stayed behind for others – toothpaste and toothpaste they had, they didn’t want to take too much soup (again, I think not wanting to be selfish).

I pulled out 2 Hormel Compleats meals.  I held them up and started to explain, “Now this is a whole meal, all you have to do is…” and they interrupted me with a big smile, “YES!  I KNOW THOSE.  YES!”.  Into the bag.

When we were finished, they looked at their haul and said quietly, “This is enough food for a whole month.”

They looked around our porch which has quite a few things on it.  “Do you take books?” they asked quietly.  I replied with my usual line – “No, no we don’t take books.  We only accept food and toiletries.”

I smiled.

“You are always welcome back.  Let me show you where the Pantry is for next time.”

I took them around the corner.  “It usually has more food than this.  I need to fill it.  Next time, you come here.  If it is dark, when you open the door, the lights will come on so you can see what we have.”

I told them my name and asked theirs.  We shook hands.  I noticed the license plates were from another state.  They explained they had just moved here, hoping to find work.  They had been looking for a year in their old state, and they thought maybe there were more opportunities in the DC area.

They are looking to rent a room.  I wished I had resources to recommend, but I didn’t.

“You don’t take books?” they asked again, very sincerely.

And then I understood.

They didn’t want to just receive.  They wanted to give.  Giving allows you to keep your dignity.  Giving shows your gratefulness. 

It was not just a book.  It was a gift.

“Oh, do you have a book??” I asked.

“Yes!  Yes!  A very good book.  I just finished it.”

“We would love it.  In fact, I will read it right away,” I said.

 

“Oh.  Well, it is in Spanish…” they explained.

“That’s great!  I will give it to my friend!  She knows Spanish and loves to read!”.

They smiled and retrieved the book from the front seat.  I accepted the gift, happy to provide a way for them to retain dignity and be respected.

“Remind me your name?” they asked. 

We exchanged names again.

And before they left, I asked, “May I give you a hug?”.

The look of caring on their face.  A gentle nod.

We hugged, the stranger and I.  Right there on the sidewalk.  Cars passed.  I think a runner went by. 

We hugged longer than “appropriate” for strangers.

They held me tight.

I imagine it had been quite a long time since they had any human contact, and they were craving it.

I felt their back quiver.  The quivers that sneak out when you are holding in tears.

“I will see you next time.  I am glad I met you,” I said as I made my exit.

And before I could turn the corner, I heard a voice say quietly and sincerely, “Thank you, Susan.  THANK YOU.”

No new friend – thank YOU.

Thank you for reminding me why we do what we do here.

Thank you for melting the cold shell I had put up today.

Thank you for the hug.

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If you would like to donate food for the Little Yellow Free Pantry, the Amazon wish list can be found here:  Little Yellow Free Pantry wish list

You Reap What You Sow

This is a story about an act of kindness that floored me.  One that was actually jaw dropping to me.

It is not an act of kindness we performed. 

Instead, it is one we received.

We have been working on upgrading our bathroom.  What started as a simple project – replace a wonky faucet – quickly snowballed into much more: getting a new vanity, counter, sink, medicine cabinet, light fixture, painting the walls, replacing an outlet…  Oh, and yeah, a new faucet.  That’s how things always go, isn’t it?  Home repair projects start small, then grow exponentially and drag on forever.

 

Anyway, this work is being done in our beach house.  We escape here when we can to take in the sunshine and sand and recharge.  When we are not here, we rent it to vacationers (which gives us the income to keep it all going).  Because we “share” it with strangers, we need to keep it up and have it look nice.  (I say this to point out that our “real house”, the one we live in the majority of the time, needs MAJOR BATHROOM WORK and has for, well, years!  But have we tackled it?  No, no we have not…)

 

And because it is a second home, we do not have all of the bits and bobs here that we do at our main home.  We have limited storage space here, plus, we just live a “pared down” existence here, which is good for our souls.  The garage is small, and it has to house important things like beach toys and lawn chair cushions and bikes and our teeny tiny Fiat Pop car.  All of that does not leave much room for tools. 

 

At home, we have loads of tools and usually can find whatever we need to get a job done.  But at the beach house, we sometimes knock on neighbors’ doors and ask to borrow this or that.  We used to have a great next-door neighbor here who was thrilled to share his tools with us.  Sadly, he has long since moved away.

 

So, the other day when we realized that to make the new vanity fit, we would need to cut a piece of TILE, we were stumped.  David had brought his Dremel tool on this trip with him for a craft project I plan to do, but he didn’t bring the right blade for it to do something as major as cutting tile.  No neighbors had what was needed.  An Amazon search brought up an expensive Dremel brand single disc, or 6 off-brand cheap discs…  But going that route meant waiting 2 days (overnight delivery is not a thing here like it is at home), and we were trying to get the vanity IN.  So, we did what we do soooo often – we headed to the hardware store (the hardware store is David’s very favorite place to shop)!

 

We found the Dremel section and located what we thought was the right bit, but there are so many pieces to Dremels, and we needed the second piece that would hold the disc on.  We decided we needed assistance so hunted down an employee.

 

The employee was so nice!  When asked what Dremel bit was good for our project, he said, “Oh, I don’t ever use Dremels…  I use a GRINDER!  And look – I still have all 10 fingers!” he said as he smiled and showed us both hands.

 

“Ah yes!” David said jokingly.  “Wanna loan it to us?”

 

“Sure!  For a 6 pack of beer!” the employee joked back and we all laughed.

 

I remembered a tool I had given David for Christmas a few years ago and asked if THAT would work in this situation.  It turns out that yes, if we had that here at this house, that would be a good tool for this job.

 

“Well, since the Dremel pieces are going to be so expensive anyway, maybe we should invest in one of those tools for this place??” I said.

 

And that is when the 3 of us started the hunt for a Dewalt Multi-Tool.

 

Now people, if you have never strolled the tool aisles of a large hardware store, you do not know this.  But there are a surprisingly overwhelming number of electric tools…  There seem to be specialized tools for each and every job.  And not only that, but each BRAND makes at least 1 or 2 versions of each type of tool.  And the batteries from brand A do not work with brand B, so if you have brand A batteries for something else and want to share them with your new toy, you want to buy brand A again.  This makes it very confusing, and very hard to find the exact make and model you are in need of.

 

Anyway, the employee was really dedicated to helping us find what we needed.  He looked it up on his computer and took us to where it was.  Or I should say, where it was supposed to be.  Only, it wasn’t there.

 

We hunted up aisles.  We hunted down aisles.  We looked on end-caps.  We looked on special tables.  But that one specific tool was no where to be found. 

 

He was a bit embarrassed I think, and felt he was wasting our time.  Plus, he probably kind of felt that he had “failed” us (though it was no fault of his, and it was not for lack of trying!).  Eventually, he said, “Ya know…  I think I have my grinder in my truck.  Do you wanna just borrow it??”.

 

And this time, he was not joking.

 

He was serious!

 

“Uh – YES PLEASE!” was our enthusiastic reply.

 

“Wait here, I will be back…” he instructed.

 

As we waited, he popped out to his truck and set the grinder outside of his toolbox to make it easy to find.  He came back and told David the make and model of his truck and where it was parked.  “Just use mine,” he said.  “But wear eye protection and gloves!!” he added.

 

I was shocked.

 

A complete stranger was going to loan us an expensive tool, no questions asked.  He didn’t even ask for our NAMES or PHONE NUMBER!!

 

We got his name, and figured out a plan to return the tool when we were done with it.  I asked for his number before we left so that we could contact him and tell him when we were bringing it back.  We checked out with our other items, and off we went to hunt down his truck.

 

It was just so TRUSTWORTHY of him!  I mean, when we opened his big, beautiful, new truck (which he had left unlocked so we could get in!!), there were lots of tools in there.  We could have easily cleaned them out, loaded them into our car, and took off.  He didn’t know us from Adam.  But he trusted us, and he was kind.

 

We took the grinder, replaced it with a $20 bill, and headed home. 

 

The next day, David used the borrowed tool and successfully cut the tile.  The vanity fit right into place and it looks beautiful.  I sent the kind guy a few texts with photos so he could see the project that he had helped us with. 

 

Eye protection, gloves, and a fancy grinder tool!

David is getting ready to take the tool back to him today, along with some fresh peaches from our tree.  We will look for him, I am sure, each time we shop at that store. 

 

I won’t forget this act of kindness. 

 

It meant so much more than saving us a few bucks. 

 

It reminded me that there are good people in the world.  People who trust others, who believe in strangers. 

 

People who are KIND.

 

Now that I tell it, it sounds like such a simple story.  I mean, why did it surprise me so much?  And honestly, when I think about it in reverse, it is very much something I would do…  When you see someone who needs something and that thing is something you have, why not share it??

 

But most people don’t roll that way.  Most people can’t put down their guard.  Maybe they have been burned before, or maybe they were taught to not talk to strangers.  Or maybe they see the world in a more practical light and think doing something like this is ridiculous or risky.

 

When I recounted this story to a friend, she said, “Kindness begets kindness.  You reap what you sow, Susan”.

 

What a sweet reminder. 

 

That amazed feeling I got, that jaw dropping sensation when I reviewed in my mind what had just happened, I have been honored to provide that same feeling to many, many people via acts of kindness.  I bet after we pay for a stranger’s Christmas tree, or put quarters in people’s laundromat washing machines, or pick up the tab on someone’s groceries, or buy a gift off a stranger’s online wedding registry…  I bet those people feel the same way I felt when the employee said, “I think I have my grinder in my truck.  Want to just borrow it??”.

 

It was fun being on the receiving end of a big act of kindness. 

 

Thanks, new friend.  Your generosity, trust, and kindness meant more than you know.