kindness activist

kindness activist

Sunday, December 22, 2019

One Gift of Kindness


My sister Annette always told me about an annual Christmas event that she loved to help with.  It was a gift giveaway at the Sienna Francis House, a homeless shelter in Omaha, Nebraska.  Her friend Kristi works there and Annette had gone to help out at the Christmas event a few years.

Well, Annette died last week.  And at her Celebration of Life service, her friend Kristi mentioned that the shelter’s Christmas event was the next day.  “Sign me up,” I said.  I knew that the event was something I would be inspired by, and more than that, I felt a “duty” to take the volunteer spot left vacant by my sister’s passing.

When I got to the shelter I was assigned the job of NUMBER CALLER.  Each guest would come in, fill out a form listing their name and age, and if they had children under 12 years old, the kids’ names and ages.  Then each guest would be assigned a NUMBER.  I was in charge of sort of managing the traffic flow by hollering, “Numbers 1, 2, and 3 please!!”.  When those 3 guests came up, I would wish them a Merry Christmas and show them where to go to find cookies and someone to help them pick out a gift.  Then a few minutes later, “Numbers 4, 5, and 6 please!”. 

Then gifts were all donated and wrapped by a local church.  Members from the church were there to help the guests pick out a gift.  There was a big poster listing the possible gift choices.  For men, things like wallets, long underwear, sweatshirts, cologne, socks, pants, watches, etc.  For women the same types of things.  All gifts were wrapped and placed on tables by category and size, if necessary.  It was very well organized.

The guests ate dinner and were surprised by Santa and Mrs. Claus!  Mrs. Claus gave each person a Christmas ornament to bring over to the gift giveaway (the ornaments served as a type of ticket for entry).  So as soon as the first people finished dinner, our CHRISTMAS GUESTS BEGAN TO ARRIVE!

Women came first.   It was nice to see them arrive for this special event.  There was such a diverse group of women – old, young, African American, white, big, little…  And they all seemed very happy to have this special night.  One woman showed me the gift she had picked out for her 4 month old child – a very sweet little stuffed puppy toy. 

Then came the men.  Again, such a diverse group of people!!  There were several in wheelchairs or using walkers.  Young, old, clean, messy.  There were 3 or 4 Deaf guests and one in particular was very excited to have a volunteer who could communicate with him in ASL!  It was super fun to be able to chat with him and also be able to interpret and facilitate his communication in choosing the perfect gift!!

In this time of excess, this event really made me think.  Each guest received ONE GIFT.  One very practical gift, things they needed and could really use.  And that ONE GIFT made many of them smile so big.  They were surprised and delighted that this Christmas would bring them ANYTHING.  Many had a hard time choosing…  When you have to make a decision between a backpack or long underwear, that is a hard choice to make.  There was one table of little things that anyone could take, an extra small gift as it were.  The 2 people I watched go through both had their eyes light up when they saw little manicure sets – nail clippers, nail scissors, etc.  They were so excited to get those!!!  One man exclaimed, “I AM GOING TO TRIM MY BEARD!!”. 

So, this week, as you are fretting over whether you have bought enough gifts for your children or if the sweater and necklace for your mom will be enough, take time to pause and be grateful. 
There are people in this country who have NOTHING.  And then there are the lucky 278
guests at Sienna Francis House who now have their very own gift (and maybe even a nail
clipper) and are pleased as punch.



Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Tuesday, December 10, 2019

Roses, Botas, and MUCH MORE (Kindness Yard Sale Update)


I am pleased to report that more of the money raised at the Kindness Yard Sale has been used to spread kindness!!  Here is an update:

-          $7.99 was used to buy roses.  But not just ANY roses, special roses for a man in hospice to give his wife.  We know them just as the “puzzle couple”, because we always see them sitting at a table in the common room at the hospice putting puzzles together.  They saw us working on another project that I am going to use Kindness Yard Sale money for (I have not done it yet…) and asked what we were doing.  I explained it had to do with roses, and the woman smiled.  The man said that he didn’t want any flowers, thank you very much.  So, I said, “Well, what if I gave you a flower for you to give to your WIFE???”.  That idea seemed to make him happy!  His wife looked at me and deadpanned, “Well, if that happened, it would be the THIRD time in 51 years he gave me flowers!  The first time was when our first child was born.  I stayed in the hospital for 2 days and when he came to pick me up the flowers were dying.  He said they were a WASTE OF MONEY!  So, for the next baby, he bought me a PLANT.  He only gave me flowers one other time, for a Valentine’s Day”.  They are a very sweet couple and I knew it would make her happy to get flowers from her sweetheart one more time, so I picked up these roses.  I had him write her a note and tied it to the flowers.  He told me to leave them on the puzzle table where she would be sure to see them.  She was excited to be treated (and he seemed proud to be able to spoil her a bit, I am sure she is the one usually doing all of the caretaking since HE is the patient).

3rd time's a charm - 3rd time to give his wife flowers in 51 years

-          $42.09 was spent on boots, 2 hats, 1 pair of mittens and 1 pair of gloves.  This kind act was actually hard to pull off!!!  I am living in Omaha temporarily and it is very cold.  There has already been ice and snow.  I decided that I really wanted to use some of the kindness money to outfit a child for winter – coat, hat, snow pants, boots, whatever they needed!   With most of the other kind acts in this project, I have tried to not make them “need based” – because everyone loves to receive kindness, no matter if they NEED it or not!!  But for this particular one, I really hoped to find someone who NEEDED respite from the cold temperatures. 

      So, I headed to Walmart to try and find someone shopping for a coat.  But even though I strolled around and around that store for an hour, NO ONE was shopping for coats!  No one in the men’s, women’s, kid’s or baby sections!  I tried again another night at a different Walmart.  Then again at a Target.  Then a 3rd Walmart!  I told my sister that apparently EVERYONE in Omaha already has a coat, because no one seemed to be shopping for them!!  But one night I finally found two little someones one that needed warmth.  

      A man, woman, and two little girls were walking through Walmart.  They were speaking Spanish and I saw them looking at warm work gloves for the father.  I noticed that both little girls had on old, dirty coats, but no hats.  In fact, the smallest girl was BAREFOOT. 

It was a freezing cold night, and this little child had naked, dirty feet.  It made me so sad. But             those little girls were not sad!  Quite the opposite, they were having a very fun time out 
shopping with their parents.  They giggled and ran and played while their parents shopped.

I wasn’t quite sure how to ask if I could buy the kids hats.  It wasn’t only the linguistic barrier – I wanted to make sure the parents felt RESPECTED and not pitied.  I picked up a couple warm hats that I thought the little girls might like.  One came with a pair of gloves, and I grabbed a matching set of mittens to go with the other hat.  Then I found some courage and went over to the family.  I only have rudimentary Spanish, so I could not really ask them properly if it would be ok for me to buy them the hats and mittens.  But I asked in English and a bit of broken Spanish, then gestured a lot and showed them the items.  The little girls’ eyes lit up!  They look at their mother for permission, and she smiled at me and nodded “yes”.  I told them (gestured…) to stay where they were and I would go buy the items and bring them back to them.  Which is exactly what happened!  I bought them, found the girls, and sat down with them right there in that Walmart aisle to take all of the tags off of their new stuff!  They put those hats and mittens/gloves right on and gave me 2 very big smiles!  It was beautiful!!

Pretty PINK winter wear

But that left the more obvious problem to deal with – the tiny barefoot girl…  She needed boots for winter, but I didn’t want to make her parents feel bad for bringing her out in public with no shoes on.  But I decided I couldn’t ignore it, and gestured to her feet and asked, “Boots??  Yes??”.  The mother smiled again and nodded, and I gestured to the girls to FOLLOW ME!!  The 3 of us marched Pied Piper-like to the shoe department.  They were all smiles and big eyes.  I asked the mom which size and we narrowed down our search to that size.  I started with SHINY PINK ones, which the little girl seemed happy with.  But I didn’t want her to take the 1st pair I put in front of her – I wanted HER to pick her new boots!!  Eventually she spied these tan Ugg-style boots and pointed to them.  She and I sat down on the floor again and I put her dirty, naked little feet into those soft boots.  She smiled and modeled them.  Then we repeated the routine – they wait, I buy, I return.  I told the mom I knew the word “zapatas” for “shoes” in Spanish, but what was the word for “boots”?  “BOTAS!” the mom and girls gleefully told me!!!

As I finished my shopping I saw my new friends giggling in an aisle, new botas and all.

BOTAS!
 -  $5 was left on a bathroom wall!!  I met a friend for brunch at a hip Denver restaurant called “The Corner Office”.  After dining on delicious red velvet waffles, I excused myself to go to the restroom.  There I found this great wall full of colorful sticky notes, and extra sticky paper and pens to leave your own note!  Perfect!  So, I hung this:  I would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall when someone found it and seen what they decided to use it for.

FUN bathroom!


I wonder who found it...
   -  $51.04 was used to help make an immigrant’s Christmas more joyful.  My sister is living in a hospice house, and the cleaner there named Angelique is a sweet, elderly African woman.  She doesn’t speak much English, but always has a nice smile.  One day I figured out from the accent she has when she speaks English that perhaps FRENCH is her native tongue.  I called my sweetheart (who is fluent in French) and he played on-phone translator for me and Angelique!  She was so excited when he spoke French to her! 
She is from Congo and has no family here.  She told me, “You are my family”.  She does not interact much with the other staff or guests here that I see, and I imagine she may be quite lonely in America by herself.  So, I got a $50 gift card to Walmart and a nice card to surprise her!  Walmart is very near the hospice house and I bet she shops there sometimes.  I hope her holiday season is a little bit brighter because of this kindness.

A sweet gift for a sweet woman
- $5 was used to “help kids that don’t have moms and dads”.  My friend Tanya has two adorable little boys, and one of them, Sam, posted a plea video on Facebook. 


I mean, after seeing THAT, how could I NOT share some of the kindness money with him??  He was doing a super kind thing of HIS OWN!!!  Sam surpassed his monetary goal and is well on his way to being an amazingly kind human.    

-          $20 was donated to help a woman rebuild her café after everything for it was stolen.  Her name is Sandra Rivers and she is a CODA, child of Deaf adults.  She had a dream to build a café where Deaf people could socialize and there would not be linguistic barriers.  Her own parents have died, but she wanted to build “Deaf Delight” for other Deaf people.  Just 3 days before her insurance for the business started, she was robbed of everything.  She has not given up her dream, but she used her life savings to buy the equipment that was stolen, so is hoping to fundraise money to start over. 

-          $5 was used to purchase then donate a handmade bead that will be used in the “Beads of Courage” program.  I had never heard of the organization before but they had a booth set up at an art event that we went to and they sound amazing!  Participating hospitals give each child who has to undergo procedures (pokes and sticks) a handmade bead for each procedure!  Kids who have very serious illnesses have looong strings of beads!  The children can play with them, wear them, or just use them as a symbol of comfort and strength for all they have been through.   See more about this unique program here:  Beads of Courage website

-          And finally for this report, $41.07 was used to “Be a Santa to a Senior”.  A grocery store had a Christmas tree with paper ornaments adorning it.  Each ornament had a “wish list” from a senior citizen of what they would like for the holiday.  I looked the wishes over and decided to choose Paul.  His wants were very simple – a book and one white t-shirt.  

Tree of Senior wishes
      On the other ornaments people were hoping for things like iPads and DVD players, but Paul must be a simple man who enjoys simple pleasures.  I liked that!  And I figured, since he didn’t ask for much, I should spoil him a bit…  So instead of ONE white t-shirt, he got a whole pack.  Plus the book he wanted (which looks good by the way).  Plus a box of chocolates.  Plus 2 fancy candy canes.  HAPPY HOLIDAYS PAUL! 


Paul is a man who knows what he wants.
Another $10 donation came in (thanks!!!), bringing the total raised for Kindness from the yard sale and donations to $1565.76.  $24.26 of that remains to be used, and there is a bit that has already been used but not written about here yet!  If you would like to help this project continue, donations of any amount are appreciated.  You can PayPal them to:  thompsongaines@msn.com or contact me at kindnessactivist@gmail.com . 

I hope this project inspires YOU to go out into the world and spread kindness.  Because every little bit makes the world a better place.