Heartfelt Kindness

Kindness Activists of any age inspire me – seeing the kindness other people put out into the world really makes me motivated to be more kind myself.  But when it is KIDS doing the kindness, CHILD KINDNESS ACTIVISTS, it inspires me in a special way.  I guess you could say that knowing these kind kids will grow into kind adults makes me believe that our world is in good hands. 

One of these inspirational, kind kids is Madelene Kleinhans.  She is 14 years old and has a heart of gold and a game plan to spread kindness all over the country.  And she doesn’t just sit around dreaming of how to do it, she rolls up her sleeves and gets it done! 

Here's Madelene!

Madelene created Heartfelt Hugs (by Madelene Cares) when she was only 12 years old.  She saw a definite need and jumped in to fill it.  Here’s the story: 

  

When Madelene was 8, her little brother Addison (age 5) was diagnosed with leukemia. He had 38 straight months of treatment and (now age 12) is now in remission.  But during the time he was in treatment, Madelene (who remember, was also quite young) noticed something:  practically every ounce of time, attention, and support that came her family’s way was directed at Addison.  Of course, that makes perfect sense:  he was critically ill and needed attention.  It was wonderfully kind of people to shower him with love, gifts, and support.  But, secretly in the background, Madelene needed all of those things, too, and so do siblings of other sick kids.  I spoke to her on the phone and you can believe me when I tell you that she is not a selfish person.  She is generous, smart, and giving.  But she is also HONEST, and when she told me that sometimes when her brother got so much attention, she sort of wished that she was sick. “I did not get it, I did not understand what he was going through.  People brought balloons every day.  Gift baskets.  People would come to the house to see him.  And I felt like I would get ‘wished away’.  Even on my birthday he got most of the attention.  I know it sounds kind of selfish, but I did not get as much attention even on my birthday.  I never wished for anything bad to happen to my brother, I just wished people would give me a little bit more attention…”.  It is sad to hear her express that, and obviously her brother’s well wishers did not mean to hurt her feelings, but it is understandable: her brother got all of the attention, and she is human so therefore felt left out. 

Addison in a recent photo - in remission and looking great!

Madelene went to a three day camp for children whose siblings were critically ill run by the American Cancer Society.  She really liked it, but it was shut down due to lack of funding.  She remembered what a difference the camp had made for her, and she came up with an idea to help other kids whose brothers and sisters had critical illnesses.  She said, “I decided instead of sitting around and just complaining about it I should start something to help kids like me get through it!”.  She wanted other siblings to know they are not alone. 

And that is when Heartfelt Hugs (by Madelene Cares) was born.  Madelene found a way to help other kids who were thinking and experiencing the same things she had gone through to have an outlet for their feelings.  The group meets every two months and hosts events like movies, roller skating, games, etc.  It is a chance for the siblings of the sick children to get together, do a fun activity, and feel special.  Kids whose siblings are in remission are also invited to come along.  The outings give kids and their parents a chance to get together and have fun and talk.  Sometimes the sick kids join in as well.  Her brother is really supportive of the non-profit and helps make goodie bags, flyers, etc.  He sometimes goes to the events, too.  The next event in the works is an ice skating outing in January, 2017.

A super fun Heartfelt Hugs event

When I spoke with her one thing was very obvious: Madelene is one MATURE kid.  I asked how her non-profit funds all of these outings for the kids (who do not have to pay to attend).  She quickly told me, “OH!  I ask for donations!  I let people know that we are out there.  If we are doing an event and need food, I call restaurants and tell them all about Heartfelt Hugs.  I explain we give tax donation forms and see if they want to donate or not.  If not that is totally fine, we understand!  And for individuals who give donations – that is amazingly kind.”  I asked Madelene how you, readers of the Kindness Activist project, can help out.  She said you can find them on Facebook (Heartfelt Hugs by Madelene Cares) or go to their website (http://heartfelthugs2015.weebly.com/) .  She explained that they give out goodie bags at events so if you have anything that could be included in those (appropriate for ages 8 – 16) those would be great.  If you have a business that could do something to support one of the outings (pizza vouchers, movie tickets, anything fun!) that would rock.  And of course, I would encourage anyone who can to give a cash donation to do so. You can trust that it will be put to very good use.

Have any goodies you can donate?  Heartfelt Hugs will be sure to put them to great use!

Madelene is “only” 14 years old.  She is involved in SO MANY activities!  She home schools, is involved in plays, makes her own really cool photo cards using photos that she takes and sells (I See Photography by Madelene), plays softball, and is involved in Kleinhans Kicking Cancer (look for them on Facebook), another organization her family runs (she helps make jelly and jam and art work for sales for that group, too!).  But even though she already has all of that going on, she has a huge goal set for herself that I can totally see her achieving: “My goal for Heartfelt Hugs is for it to go NATIONWIDE.  I would like to have a representative in EACH STATE.  I want to help people not only in Colorado but people everywhere.  I would like to help as many siblings as I can.”

First Colorado - next - the whole United States!

I asked Madelene how she thought she became such a kind person.  She wasn’t sure, but said, “I guess my mom mostly…  We always try to help out other people, because other people deserve it.  Everyone deserves to be happy.  That is the way I think.”

I agree with you, Madelene.  Thanks for being such a ray of sunshine in the world.  Your honesty and your action is making things better for kids.

·         To view the main Heartfelt Hugs website, visit: Heartfelt Hugs by Madelene Cares

·         To follow the group on Facebook, make sure to “like” Heartfelt Hugs by Madelene Cares

·         To find out how YOU can help out the non-profit, click:  How YOU can help

·         To contact Madelene at Heartfelt Hugs, go to:  Contact Heartfelt Hugs

·         Watch a TV spot for Heartful Hugs here:  Madelene on TV

·         To see Madelene’s cool photo cards, like her FB page:  I See Photography by Madelene Kleinhans

 

Just one of Madelene's gorgeous images that you can buy on a photo card

Pork Roast Kindness

(HAPPY UPDATE AT THE END OF THIS STORY!)

Teresa is the type of person who would give you the shirt off her back.  Wait, that isn’t quite right…  Actually, Teresa is the type of person who would give you the PORK ROAST OUT OF HER FREEZER!  And that, my friends, is super kind!  And it is precisely why she is being named a Kindness Activist. 

Teresa with her sweetheart

I do not know Teresa very well, but when I saw this status on her Facebook wall, I knew I had to see what was going on.  She wrote: “Ok people, do you know someone that will be hurting to get a meal on the table for Christmas? I cannot provide sides, but I have a pork roast that will feed a family and their guest, too.  I would love to help them out.  If you know me personally and have my number, give me a call. Happy Holidays!!”

Here it is - the PORK ROAST!

Hmmm, giving away a pork roast??  This needed some research!  I contacted Teresa and got some details.  It turns out that she got this pork roast when she was doing ANOTHER kind thing – cooking up a storm for a big parking lot party that the South Omaha Bikers (affectionately known as the SOBs) throw every year.  It is a fund raiser to collect money to use to remove graffiti in their community, and over the past 8 years (not counting 2016) they raised $35,000 for this important cause!  They take pride in their neighborhood, and I know that Teresa takes pride in handling the massive amount of cooking for their big fund raiser!  Here is a bit of media on the SOBs:  SOBs in the news

So anyway, this pork roast ended up in Teresa’s freezer when it was leftover and not needed for the party.  She told me she was cleaning her freezer and went to move the huge roast and the first thing that popped into her head was, “I wonder if someone could use this…”.  And that is when she decided to put the call out on Facebook.  J 

Here she is - slaving away cooking for the fund raiser!

Like I said, I do not know her that well, but from what I DO know, Teresa works hard for her money.  I asked her about that, and why she wasn’t using this meat to put on her own table, and she said, “I am not rich, I struggle like most people.  I so could have used this for my family, but we are fortunate enough to come together and make every holiday special with our traditions.  I am hoping someone out there needs it more than we do.  It feels great to offer it to someone less fortunate.  I could give it to just about anyone, but I felt like offering it this way was the best choice.”  Isn’t that sweet??  And so, so kind! 

One thing I have noticed about Kindness Activists is that they almost always have a kindness model – a “mentor” if you will – someone who taught them what kindness is all about.  Teresa told me her kindness inspirations are her parents; “My mom is kind and strong, she would help just about anyone.  She has ALWAYS been my inspiration.  My dad, well he would feed every person who walked through the door if they were hungry.  He had a huge heart!  I hope I have inherited both of their traits.  I love them both to pieces!  And I would like to pass these traits along to my children and grandchildren.  My life has not been easy, but I have been blessed to have a family that I am very proud of.  It’s time to pay it forward.”

Two beautiful, kind women - Teresa and her mother

Teresa, I think your parents raised you well and I bet they are super proud of the woman you have become.   As for the roast?  Last I heard it was still in the freezer, waiting for the post or phone call that melt’s our Kindness Activist’s heart. 

Teresa surrounded by LOVE - her family, who she hopes to inspire to be kind just like her parents inspired her

I think a perfect ending to this story of kindness is what Teresa told me: “No one should be hungry during the holidays.  Or ever.”

I totally agree with that.  If you have food you can share with someone less fortunate, or could pick some food or a gift card up at the grocery store, please follow Teresa’s example.  Let’s share what we have and make the holidays a special time for everyone.

UPDATE:  

Teresa found a great home for the pork roast!!!  She delivered "the baby" (a nickname for this big roast!) to Diane, who recently lost her job.  Diane will use it to make a traditional Mexican holiday meal for her family (including tamales, posole, and pork chili - yummy!!!).  What a happy ending to a super kind story. 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!  

The pork roast found a perfect home

No Show Kindness

I met Andria Alefhi a couple of months ago when we teamed an interpreting assignment.  She seemed like a cool person, we functioned well as a team, and we got along swimmingly, so we became Facebook friends. 

The newest Kindness Activist - ANDRIA!

Yesterday morning she posted this thought provoking and motivating status: 

“Interpreters: in the spirit of giving, for the month of December, I'm creating a No Show Donation Challenge. I just came up with it now. For every client that's a no show or is late, take 5 minutes of that wait time to find a new organization to donate to. If that organization doesn't directly serve the Deaf community, a donation is a great time to add a question or message about making sure they know how to obtain an ASL interpreter (if it's a service organization). If you like this idea, share the organization you find with me so I can check it out too. I just donated to The Bronx Freedom Fund, check it out.“

Isn’t that a GREAT idea?  Maybe I need to explain a bit.  Interpreting, like other professions, sometimes has more “down time” than expected.  For example - you are booked to interpret a doctor appointment, but the patient doesn’t show up and so your work cancels.  Andria’s challenge to her cohorts is to USE that time that you suddenly have available to the world’s advantage!  Take just five minutes of the time you just got back to GIVE BACK to someone and make a donation to an organization/charity that you have never supported before!  Google makes it super easy to find a worthy cause to support.

I asked Andria how she came up with this swell idea and she told me, “I am not sure why I thought of this today! Donations for the recent fire in the Oakland art and music space were on my mind, and today I was sitting in the lobby waiting for a client, and the idea to use my time doing something productive for someone else came to mind.”

I would like to add, the NO SHOW DONATION CHALLENGE can apply to many, many professions!  How many of you have NO SHOWS/CANCELLATIONS as part of your professional life?  I can think of several right off the top of my head:  hair stylists, dentists, therapists, flight attendants/pilots, manicurists, doctors, fortune tellers…  ANYONE who works by appointment has cancellations!   Andria says, “I targeted the challenge to interpreters, and I'm calling it the No Show Donation Challenge, because, when we find out an assignment is a no show or has been cancelled, interpreters are often fortunate enough to be able to bill for that and leave, ending up with free time and 'bonus pay' if you will.  There are some fields of work where no client equals no billing.”  So, if you are in a field where “no show” does not equal “no income” for you, please follow Andria’s advice and USE your new found free time to find an organization and make a donation!  And if you are an interpreter, heed this gentle reminder from our Kindness Activist, “As ASL interpreters, we have an obligation to give back to the Deaf community, so consider donating to all kinds of service organizations; your money, or your time, or education and outreach.”

Andria and her husband Jonathan

An added benefit of the challenge is that Andria has asked her friends who participate to comment on the post and tell her what new organizations they found to support.  This means she (and her friends who follow the post) will get to find out about other worthy organizations that they, too, might want to give to.   Andria has her next no show donation ready to roll, “Next on my list is the Nyle DiMarco Foundation. I'll probably donate to 50/50 Deaf and general organizations.”

I always ask Kindness Activists that I interview how doing their kind actions made them feel, and almost unanimously people say how terrific they felt while doing whatever it is they are being recognized here for.  Andria was no exception, “I felt great donating to The Bronx Freedom Fund today. I've been meaning to do it for a month now and just kept forgetting. They serve underrepresented and poor people who are arrested and cannot make bail and are pushed into pleading guilty to crimes they may not be guilty of in order to not go to jail, all because they cannot make bail. I don't know if they have ever had a Deaf client, so, I added a note to my donation.  So now they got my donation plus education and a useful contact.”

In the spirit of the holidays, Andria has a good reminder for us all, “Of course, people can donate every day, you don't have to wait for a No Show client.”

Thanks for the great challenge Andria!  CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

Isn't this a lovely photo of our Activist?  

Here is some fun bonus stuff I found out about Andria that you don’t want to miss (though with all of these things going on, I am surprised she doesn’t use her cancellation time to NAP!):

Andria has an Etsy shop where she sells custom built clocks made from found and recycled objects!  Don’t believe me?  See for yourself here: New York Clocks

Andria and her friends run a funky business called Speakeasy Karaoke, where you can “Make your next event extra VIP with a private karaoke party. Speakeasy Karaoke has everything including a live band and thousands of songs to choose from.”  Follow them on FB and go sing your heart out.

Andria even PERFORMS WEDDINGS!  Yup, she can marry you in English or ASL!  Find out more about that and her interpreting work at her website: http://www.andriaalefhi.com/

And here are links to organizations mentioned in this article:

Nyle DiMarco Foundation - https://nyledimarcofoundation.com/

The Bronx Freedom Fund - thebronxfreedomfund.org

Tea Light Kindness

A few nights after the recent presidential election, I saw that there was a peaceful candlelight vigil planned for outside the White House.  We live nearby and I have been feeling very upset and sad about the election results, so I decided that this vigil would be a good way to surround myself with like-minded people and focus on peace and love.

The White House the night of the candlelight vigil

As the event drew nearer, the organizers updated the Facebook invitation to clarify that no actual CANDLES would be allowed.  The Parks Department said they would drip wax all over, and the organizers would have to pay a fine for clean-up of the mess. Although it was disappointing to imagine a “candlelight vigil” with no candles, it made sense.  The invitation encouraged people to bring flashlights or glow sticks instead, but it really seemed like that wouldn't be the same, you know what I mean?

The night of the vigil we rushed around the house when it was time to go trying to find 2 working flashlights.  Why is it that every time you actually NEED a flashlight, the batteries don’t work anymore?  Happens every single time…  We finally found 2 lame flashlights and rushed to the vigil.  We settled in amongst the crowd in Lafayette Park (across from the White House) and waited for the event to begin.  There were quite a few people, and I soon realized that not only would real candles be MESSY, they would have been DANGEROUS, too.  With that many bodies close together, most wearing big coats and scarves, candles could have easily caused a fire.

As we were waiting, the sweetest, most kind thing happened:  a complete stranger was walking through the crowd handing out little battery operated TEA LIGHT candles.  He came up to us and offered them.  We had the lame flashlights, but his candles were SO PRETTY – they were delicate and perfect.  I asked if he was working for the vigil and he explained that he was not, he just bought a bunch of tea lights to hand out because he thought the vigil needed them.

Mystery kind man - passing through the crowd with LOVE

CAN YOU SAY KINDNESS ACTIVIST??  I snapped a photo of him, hoping to be able to do some P.I. work when I got home and figure out who he was, then interview him for this blog.  As luck would have it, another vigil attendee in the Facebook group saw my message that I was hunting for him and helped me discover his identity!  Meet JORDAN FIGUEIREDO – the kind man behind the tea lights.

Our Kindness Activist in action!

It turns out he is not even a LOCAL – he lives in the San Francisco, CA area!  He was in DC for work at just the right time for the vigil.  He told me, “I signed up on Facebook to attend the event and was reading some of the posts and noticed the Parks department said no candles because of the wax. I thought this vigil would send a much nicer message with candles so I found the battery-operated LED tealights at Bed Bath and Beyond. I ended up buying about 200 of the tealights for about $143.”  You read that right – this man spent almost $150 to hand out candles to complete strangers.  It was so wonderful!!!  I saw loads of people holding the beautiful little tea lights that he so generously shared.

A little girl on her dad's shoulders holding a tea light that Jordan handed out

I knew how happy I was when he gave us candles, but I wanted to know how other people reacted to his gift of a candle.  “It was so great to see people's reactions and hear their thank you s. Some people did look at me like I was selling something at first, but I understand that from other events and people with bags of things to sell. Mostly people were surprised and thankful and seemingly touched when they noticed the "LOVE" message on them.

Yes, Jordan had taken time to write LOVE on each of the little candles.  It made them so special!  They were beautiful.

My family - glowing with the kindness and love that Jordan shared

An unexpected side effect of doing kind things that many people don’t realize is how good doing them makes YOU feel when you do them.  Jordan said, “It felt so much better than I thought it would. I though the event just needed them and it would be nice to spread the love with the lights. It was so great to "light" the candle and physically hand it to people. I would totally do it again at another important event. I've never actually done anything like this before. I do volunteer my time and spend 20-30 hours a week (99% for free) raising awareness for food waste and ugly produce” (check out www.EndFoodWaste.org and click “press/about” to learn more about Jordan’s passion). 

Jordan told me that the tea light is a good reminder for people to bring home with them, and I know in my case that is totally true - mine is now on our fireplace mantle and it makes me smile when I see it there.  He said that writing “LOVE” on each tealight, can, “…hopefully send a ripple of hope and love with each person that receives one. It's a tough time for  love and hope in the U.S. right now but most of us value civil liberties, freedom, and our beautifully diverse and usually welcoming nation. We just need to never forget these things and  #LoveWillWin .”

Kindness and love

THANK YOU Jordan.  Thanks for the candle, and more importantly, thank you for the MESSAGE and the kindness.  Yes, let’s all work together and LOVE WILL WIN.

#UglyReallyIsBeautiful (in reference to the CARROTS, not to Jordan!!  He is LOVELY inside and out)

Be sure to “like” Kindness Activist on Facebook and follow @KindActivist on Twitter to see more inspiring stories of kindness.  The world can certainly use more KINDNESS.

Louisiana Kindness

Most of us look at federal holidays as a DAY OFF WORK.  Holidays are a day to sleep in, maybe go skiing, hit the mall, etc.

But Stephanie isn’t “most of us”.  No, Stephanie heard “holiday” and she thought something like, “Time to organize some friends, hit the road, and HELP OUT”.  Yes, it’s people like Stephanie that jump in and get things done, KIND THINGS, when they need doing.  But here’s the thing, she doesn’t want to brag about it…  She isn’t in it for the attention.  She told me, “My father taught me and my sister the importance of random acts of kindness as a daily task, a way of life - even if it’s just smiling at a stranger. It’s just so natural to me to want to get involved and do what I can that it makes me feel a tad silly that it’s considered “special” somehow, you know?”  Oh, I KNOW what you mean, girl, but I truly believe that if other people hear about your kindness, they will be inspired to get out there and spread some kindness around themselves!  So, as awkward as it felt, she agreed to let me share her story.  Here’s the scoop:

In 2005 Hurricane Katrina wrought devastation on Louisiana.  Stephanie, a Texan and single mom of 3 year old Grace, was supposed to go on a vacation that Labor Day weekend, the first one she had been able to afford in quite a while.  Only, instead of going on vacation, she took Grace with her and they volunteered at a grassroots relief organization in South Austin.  How is THAT for a model of kindness and compassion for a child?  They helped the organization work on transportation, relocation of victims, and other things that the big organizations were ill equipped to handle. 

Fast forward to 2016.  Louisiana is hit by another terrible flood.  Grace, the little girl who helped her mom work on flood relief in Louisiana from afar 11 years ago, is now 14 and has been joined by toddler sister Ilona.  Being a single mom of two, Stephanie couldn’t just write a check to help with the relief effort and call it a day (and something tells me that isn’t her style, anyway…) so she set about ORGANIZING.  Ilona would go spend Labor Day weekend with her father, and the “big girls” would head out of town to help out doing physical labor. 

Road Trip - but devastation on the side of the road

Stephanie started researching and found her friend Patty, who lives in New Orleans, was working on some of the hardest hit areas.  Well there you go – plan hatched!  Stephanie and her friend Cara (from North Texas) rounded up what she calls “10 phenomenal humans” from Texas (mostly Austin) to work on “mucking and gutting a house in Louisiana”.

Let me just reiterate here:  this was LABOR DAY WEEKEND.  The rest of us were roasting hot dogs and shopping mattress sales, and this amazing group was making an 11 hour drive to help strangers deal with an awful situation!

Wonderful people housed some of them (even people they had never met were welcome to stay), Patty housed others, and some others found their own accommodation.  Cara had organized a meeting with Hands On, a group that was, “bringing groups of people out to the hardest hit areas to remove damaged belongings and construction material from homes, provide some mold remediation and cleaning”. 

The team of amazing volunteers!  Brian, Xaviera, Scott, Patty, Ellen, Dotti, Cara Ross, Kristine,
Grace (Stephanie's daughter) and our Kindness Activist herself, Stephanie.  Aren't they beautiful??

The team was assigned to work with Mike and Pat on their place in Hammond, LA.  They needed physical help, and these Texans brought it in spades!  The flood had happened 2 – 3 weeks before they arrived on site, which meant that mold had already had time to become a big problem.  Never having been in a serious flood situation myself, I had never thought much about the after effects of mold.  Stephanie explained, “The fall out of a natural disaster is ongoing and usually long after people stop sending aid. People often don't think about how bad mold can be, and how it can cost you truly EVERYTHING (you can contaminate your new lodgings easily with mold - we had to clean everything that was salvageable several times, but honesty, most things went straight to the dump and were a total loss).  It's the mold that definitely makes things much worse. According to FEMA, mold starts forming within 48 hours (Link to FEMA fact sheet here) . Even the houses themselves have to undergo a rigorous detox process, repeatedly- one spore will just restart the process and new items and materials will be contaminated.”

So, the team of friends donned hazmat suits, respirators, masks, goggles, etc. and got to work.  The mobile home had flood saturated carpet, furniture, and appliances that all had to be dealt with.  I asked Stephanie how she thought the owners of the home felt to have so many people willing to volunteer to come and help them.  She said, “Mike and Pat won us over immediately. They were so lovely. We all took some time to sit with them and listen to their stories, their shared histories, their hopes for the future. I know they appreciated what we did and we all left wishing we could have done more.“

They weren't doing what most Americans were that holiday weekend -
they were most certainly MAKING A DIFFERENCE

What a glowing example of kindness for her teenage daughter.  Stephanie told me, “I’m sad that help was needed at all, but grateful to have a chance to work with my amazing friends, who all helped make a tough situation a little less awful. I’m glad that I was able to have the opportunity to give my Grace a chance to be involved and for all the discussions that led up to the trip and all the conversations we’ve had about life after the trip. She was amazing throughout the weekend and I’m glad we could experience it together.”

  

Not many people are willing to sacrifice, pitch in, and give up valuable time to help out strangers.  But Stephanie, Grace, and friends made a HUGE difference that weekend.  They not only helped a family see the light at the end of the tunnel, they showed that couple that they are valued and that someone – 10 someones – care about their plight.

Some of the aftermath - people's possessions ruined

Let’s let Stephanie tie this story up in her own words:  “Life is full of things that we have absolutely no control over. I’m very committed to finding concrete ways that I can help where I can, even if my contribution is very tiny- I know it adds up. As a single mom with two girls, I don’t always have the time or money to be able to do the things I want, to make the change I want to see in the world- but I’m determined to do what I can, as often as I can.

I try to raise my young ladies the way my father raised me and my sister; taking action every chance we get will make the world a better place. I've always been a big fan of this quote, “Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you’ve got a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies- ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’ ”  -Kurt Vonnegut”

You certainly nailed that one, Stephanie.  God damn it, YOU WERE KIND.

Pantsuit Kindness

I’ve long believed in the concept of SHARING things that I no longer want/need.  You know, what used to be called “hand-me-downs”.  Giving your little sister or younger cousin the sweaters that no longer fit – that sort of thing.

But in the last few years, that concept has broadened to beyond outgrown clothes shared within your family to still good but no longer needed items shared in your COMMUNITY.  I love it!  I often give things away on our sidewalk (we live on a busy intersection).  I used to post things often to give away in a group called Freecycle (check it out – there is probably one in your neck of the woods).  And this year, I found “Buy Nothing”, a super local group that is organized on Facebook (my branch is “Buy Nothing Columbia Pike”, but perhaps there is a Buy Nothing by you that you can join!).

The idea of Freecycle and Buy Nothing is this:  just because you no longer need or want something doesn’t mean you should throw it away.  Instead, you should GIVE IT to a neighbor!  Did you get an extra set of measuring spoons for your birthday and don’t want two sets?  Why, GIVE that old set to a neighbor!  Replaced your black purse with a brown one and don’t want to store the old one??  I bet a neighbor could use it!  Or, your baby outgrew those adorable Nike tiny tennis shoes???  Some other mother is going to be thrilled to get them!  Instead of throwing things away or giving them to a thrift store, you are giving them to someone who lives in your area.  It is fabulous!  Once someone replies and says they want the item, you tell them your address and agree on how it will be picked up (I normally put things I am giving away on our front porch swing, the takers can show up and get them anytime). 

This fan is being given away today on Buy Nothing

These kids shoes are on offer by another neighbor

And this toy recently found a new home on Buy Nothing

Full disclosure here – I have been using the hashtag #TeamPantsuit for months.  I am fully with her.  :) So when a “secret Facebook group” (which now has millions of amazing members!) came about called Pantsuit Nation, I was thrilled to become a member.  And when election day came around, I went through my closet to find the perfect pantsuit to wear to the polls.  :)

Only, what I found in my closet that night before the election were several pantsuits that were, ummm, a bit too “snug” for me.  I mean, I had size 2 Petite pantsuits and even a 0 Petite!!!  Lord knows when I was tiny enough to wear THAT one…  So I took those tiny pantsuits, took photos of them, and posted them in my Buy Nothing group.  I put funny blurbs to accompany them (I thought they were funny anyway…).  Several members “liked” and “loved” the posts, but no one said, “Oh yes, I need a teeny tiny pantsuit!”.

Size O Petite Purple Pantsuit :)

(Here is the blurb I posted with this pantsuit in the Buy Nothing group:  "Oh my goodness, Nasty Women, this is for the teeniest, tiniest among us. I know what you are thinking, "Susan, WHEN the heck were YOU a size zero??". Well zip it, cuz apparently at one point I was, and I have the pantsuit to prove it!!! This one is seriously a size 0 Petite (who makes that???) and it is from Petite Sophisticate. It is a gorgeous eggplant color, and if it fits you the rest of us are insanely jealous. As with the other pantsuits, preference given to anyone who IS WITH HER (bonus points if you are a member of the "secret" FB group Pantsuit Nation!)."

No one wanted the purple pantsuit, that is, until Sarah, the newest Kindness Activist.  Yes, Sarah commented on the posting that she would love the purple pantsuit, the SIZE 0 PETITE.  Seriously, she is a mother of 2 and wears a 0 Petite…  But all jealousy aside, I was thrilled someone could use the pantsuit!!  So we exchanged pick-up information and I hung the pantsuit (covered with a bag to keep it clean) on our front door for her to pick up the next day.

This is the pantsuit I ended up wearing on election day.  We vote with paper ballots, then scan them.  This is me
 right after scanning. Let's just say it was lucky I was smart enough not to wear mascara that day.

Well, for members of Pantsuit Nation (and for a little over half of the country it turns out…), the next day, November 9th, was a depressing and confusing one.  Many of us were walking around in a stupor after staying up until all hours of the morning watching the election results roll in.  When I left the house for a work assignment that day the pantsuit was still hanging on my front door.  But when I came back, the pantsuit had been replaced by this:

Bright beautiful flowers where the pantsuit had hung

And this lovely note

Sarah left me FLOWERS and a beautiful note.  I couldn’t believe it.  She is a complete stranger, and she took the time to be so kind.  She didn’t need to do that – no “payment” or thank you is expected or required in the “gift economy” systems of Freecycle and Buy Nothing.  In fact, no one has ever left me a thank you (that I can remember) in all the times I have given things away. 

Needless to say, when I saw the flowers I cried.  They were exactly what I needed that afternoon. And I contacted Sarah via email to ask her a few questions for this story.  Here is what I learned:

Me:  How did you think of delivering flowers to a stranger?  What made you do it?

Sarah:  “Honestly, I don't know what made me think of this. I just had on my list that I needed to pick up the pant suit -- it was almost surreal for me to see that on my to-do list on Wednesday morning, since, on Tuesday night, when we had arranged for me to take it, I was in such a happy, hopeful place. A mere twelve hours later, it felt like a lifetime ago. I guess I just wanted to reach out and do something to brighten your day, and I had a bouquet of flowers on my table that my husband had brought me when I was sick last week, so I plucked the most brightly colored ones out to counteract the darkness of the day (both literal -- it was so gloomy yesterday -- and figurative). “

Isn’t that perfect???  I love that the flowers originally came from someone who was kind to HER when she needed it, her husband, and she managed to share that kindness with ME.  Such a seemingly small gesture, but trust me it meant SO MUCH to me.

Sarah, who has a heart filled with kindness

I think people like Sarah who are so kind usually have some inherent reason, something that influenced them.  And in Sarah’s case, one of those influences was the shooting at the school in Newtown, Connecticut, where she is originally from.  She told me, “I try to be as kind as possible in general, but I feel like the call to kindness is louder and more urgent when the world is hurting. I grew up in Newtown, Connecticut, and I (like so many others) was so devastated by the shooting there in 2012. The town's reaction and unwavering belief that "love wins" was so moving to me, and "love wins" has become something of a mantra for me. (Some days it's easier to believe than others, but I do believe it's true.) In fact, there's a "26 Days of Kindness" campaign that people in my hometown do -- for the 26 days leading up to the anniversary of the shooting, individuals perform random, anonymous acts of kindness, each one in honor of a shooting victim. I did that the first year, and I found it helpful in coping with the tragedy -- though I generally prefer for acts of kindness to be more spontaneous and unstructured, I know a lot of people find comfort in the 26 Days ritual.”

I told Sarah that, as the recipient, the flowers felt to me like a warm hug (on a freezing cold day).  She agreed that was an apt description, then added something that I agree with 100% - “I guess (giving the flowers) also felt empowering, like maybe I could do something good for the world in the face of a devastating loss.”   That is something I have noticed about kindness:  you don’t set out to do a kind act to make YOURSELF feel better, but that is often an unintended consequence.  There is a line in a song from the Broadway Show “Avenue Q” that I like, “When you help others, you can’t help helping yourself”.  It’s true.  Acts of kindness help the recipient, but they also do something to boost the spirit of the giver.

Sarah, THANK YOU for your kindness.  You lifted my spirits on a day that I need that very much.  And, as you said, LOVE WINS.  

Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go pick up some brand new tights that a neighbor is giving away.