The Giver Gets, Too

We often think that the receiver of an act of kindness gets the most out of it. 

But here is a little secret, shhhh.  Often, the giver of the act of kindness gets an equal (if not more) amount of wonderfulness out of the interaction.  Here is a hypothesis I would like you to consider:  in terms of joy and magic received, the act of GIVING kindness is equal to or greater than the act of RECEIVING kindness. 

Don’t believe me??  Try the theory out yourself.  It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture – just carry someone’s groceries for them.  Or tell a stranger how cool their necklace is. Or buy the person standing outside of McDonald’s asking for money a Big Mac.  Those simple acts of kindness will make you feel good – I guarantee it!  (And if they don’t, what the heck, I will give you your money back!!)

I was reminded of this concept this week when I saw a neighbor post about the neat trick-or-treat bags she just made for people.  You see, this neighbor experienced a traumatic loss a few months ago, and has been having a horrible time dealing with grief.  She spends her days working, and outside of that, crying.  She hasn’t been eating right.  She hasn’t been going out much.  She stopped doing the crafty things she always loved to do.  This woman has been drowning in a pool of grief.  Which is understandable - losing someone you love is horrible, and it takes a very long time to process.    

But then I saw her post in a local group that she wanted to make trick-or-treat bags for people…  I thought happily, “Ah, a hint of her old self!”.  Last night she sent me photos of the completed bags and they are adorable!  I know that the receivers will be so happy with them. 

And I also know that the maker, the GIVER of the act of kindness, felt a little bit better after giving them away.  Did that act of kindness make her grief disappear?  No, no.  The grief is still there and will be for a long time.  But did that act of kindness, the making of the bags, the reveal of how cute they are, the giving them away, did that bring a spark of shine to her life?  I bet my paycheck it did.  And maybe that experience of giving kindness will be like a little lifeline for her.  Maybe the next time she is feeling lonely and blue she will remember how giving kindness felt, and she will dig deep and do it again.  And little by little, perhaps kindness will help to build a little ladder that she can use to crawl out of the overwhelming sadness. 

Thanks for being a Kindness Activist, neighbor.  I have a Kind Is Cool shirt for you – may you wear it in good health.

 

Here’s an accounting update on how some Kindness Yard Sale funds have been used recently:

A neighbor was looking for headsets for her classroom.  She wrote: “I hate to ask but ….. headphones. We need them badly for our 3rd grade room. So many students cannot buy them, and I have a special student who is triggered by noise. He loses it every time we need to work on iPads and his seat mates don’t have headphones and need to have volume up to work on apps. This teacher is stressing!”.

These are the exact situations that Kindness Yard Sale money is perfect for!  A friend found a great deal on headsets and we ordered 12 for the classroom.  But I wasn’t the only one who heeded to call for help!  Other neighbors also pitched in!  This week the teacher who asked for the headphones shared a thank you: “Take a look, my dear community. This is you in action! This is kindness! This is consideration! This is thoughtfulness in action! When I asked for help with headphones I only asked for a few. I never thought I could ask for the class set I needed but nevertheless you came through. I was overwhelmed with your generosity over and above. From the Kindness fund to each and every neighbor who contributed or offered to help… I and my forty-five sweet 3rd graders want to send our deepest gratitude!”.

Isn’t that perfect??  And she has a great system for storing them, too.

Headsets for all!

I love helping out teachers.  They have such important jobs and are deserving of our respect (and a lot bigger paychecks than they receive).

 

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $139.80

 

Made another small purchase with Kindness Activist funds.  This one was for Depends, the adult size undergarments/diapers that some people need.  Someone wanted to see if they would be a good fit for their elderly mother, and there again, it seemed like a great use of the money raised at the yard sale.  So I ordered a pack and sent them directly to the household that needed them. 

Haven’t heard yet if they are a good solution for the situation, but I am thankful to have the Kindness money to help the family give them a try. 

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $12.88 (again proving that acts of kindness don’t need to be fancy or cost a lot, simple, small acts go a very long way) 

 

Who likes to have a tea party??  Everybody does, that’s who!!  Including a 3 year old neighbor boy.  Turns out, he has gotten into tea parties lately, so I hooked him up with a really cute tea set and some fancy schmancy cookies (macaroons) to go with it. 

Lucky for me, he came with his mom to pick it all up, so I got to try it out, too!!  Let me just tell you, tea tastes even BETTER when it is served in a fancy pot and fancy cups (even if the “tea” in question is water). 

Ahhh, a little tea on the front porch.  Delicious!

His mom later reported that he tried a bit of actual tea at home, too.  Little friend – may your tea parties always be fancy and may simple joys continue to delight you as your grow up. 

You go kid!  Even a fancy tablecloth!  Now THAT'S a tea party!

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $45.84

And finally for this report – spices.  A family from Bolivia moved to our community to start over.  They came with practically nothing, so a kind neighbor put out a call for needed items.  One thing on the list was SPICES, so I chose that. 

I have learned from traveling to other countries and hosting international guests at our home that each culture has their own spices that they like to use.  Not every country is the same in the kitchen!   I asked what spices would be good, got them together, and the woman came and picked it all up to give to the family.

I hope that the spices help them cook food that feels comfortable to them, is tasty, and reminds them of home as they begin their new lives in America.

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $113.02

 

 

 

 

$625 Million Dollars Worth Of Kindness??

Just a short accounting and story today, mixed in with a bit of my personal philosophy on kindness. 

A common belief about kindness that I disagree with is this:  kindness is meant to be shared only with people in need.

I’ve seen people get upset about people in Starbucks drive-thru s “paying it forward” and paying for the car behind them.  The argument goes like this, “The people obviously have enough money to buy their own iced vente latte, or they wouldn’t be in line at Starbucks!”.

 

Yes, they do have enough funds to cover their coffee order.  But I would ask this:  does that fact make them any less deserving of kindness?  Couldn’t we ALL benefit from a bit of kindness thrown our way?

 

I always keep that in mind when deciding on Kindness Activist acts.  I get contacted a lot about need based kindness – a woman with children getting out of an abusive relationship needing clothing, a family just arriving in America with nothing but a suitcase, a child whose parents cannot afford a birthday cake.  And we often used Kindness Activist funds to help in those situations.

 

But, I also like to remember to spread kindness not just where it is needed.  Not where it is an emergency.  But just in normal, everyday circumstances to people who do not ask for help, don’t “need” help, but still delight in being surprised by kindness.

 

And that is exactly what I am doing today!  I bought 9 Powerball tickets and am handing them out in Hollywood Beach, Florida.  I am here for work, but I have a couple of hours before I start.  The news this morning announced that the Powerball jackpot is now up to $625 million dollars!  So, why not hand some tickets out to unsuspecting strangers and wish them luck??

 

It’s harder than you think…  First – who to choose??? 

 

I saw the first person I wanted to treat as I walked into the store to buy the tickets:  an old man eating his lunch sitting on a stoop in a parking lot.  He had found a bit of shade, but it still really hot out and he was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and pants.  His skin was rough and leathery – it has seen a lot of Florida sunshine.  He may not have housing, I am not sure.  But as I came out of the store he was carefully throwing his garbage in a can – thanks mister!  So many people just throw it on the ground!  I approached, smiled, told him this gift was for him and that it may be worth $625 million, told him not to lose it, and wished him luck.  He didn’t say a word to me, just took the ticket.  As I walked away, I could hear him shuffling along the sidewalk slowly – shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.  I peeked back just in time to see him tuck the lottery ticket into his back pocket. 

 

Then I had to hunt down people to give the other 8 tickets to!

 

One went to a sweet couple sitting at an outdoor table eating lunch.  I think they were visiting from another country (and I bet as I walked away there was talk in another language of, “Wow, AMERICANS!  Why is that woman giving these away???” 😊 ).  One ticket went to a man doing the gardening in the hot sun in front of a small hotel.  One went to a man who jumped off a truck to empty a trash can.  One went to a man who gives towels out to pool visitors at a hotel.  One went to a woman cleaning the bathroom at a hotel.  One went to a man painting the side of a building in an alley (he was the only one to question me, “Why are you not keeping this for yourself???”.  I think he suspected a scam of some sort.)  One went to a lifeguard who had to whistle for someone to not swim so far out in the ocean.  And I can’t remember who I gave another one to!! 

 

Sometimes you read stories about people whose lives were ruined when they won a big sum of money.  Friends and family hounded them for cash.  They spent it all on drugs.  They went bankrupt 5 years after winning.  Etc, etc, etc.

 

I would like to think that if one of these people win, their lives would be made better and not ruined.  I would like to think that, if they win, they will fondly remember the quiet woman who walked up to them on a sunny day and handed them a winning ticket, no strings attached.  And that they, too, would spread some kindness to unsuspecting strangers.  Not just because people need it, but because we all deserve a treat. 

 

Now if you will excuse me – I have one more ticket to give away!  I need to find another lucky person!

 

P.S. – I also bought myself a Powerball ticket (with my own money, not Kindness Activist money of course).  Fingers crossed!!!

P.P.S. - maybe the examples in this story did not clearly show my belief that kindness shouldn't only be given to people in need.  Sorry!  I guess I have just been pondering that notion today.  

 

Kindness Activist funds used:  $18

The Kindness of Mothers

It is always an honor and a privilege to have Kindness Activist funds to share with the world.  But today may have been the most special and heartwarming use of the money to date.

Today, October 20^th, is what is known to my family as Mary Day.  October 20, 2002 is the day my mom, Mary, died of colon cancer.  So, to mark the occasion and to reflect on her, I always spend Mary Day doing things that Mom loved.  Usually that means getting my nails done, perhaps playing a slot machine at a casino, doing some laundry, eating dessert first, drinking a glass of wine, shopping, and dining on good food.

I was feeling sad this Mary Day.  It is the 20^th anniversary of her death, and as the years go by, the memories fade a bit and that is depressing.  I don’t want the memories to go away – I want to remember the feelings, the smells, the sights.  But time slowly erases some of them.

 

I have gotten better at not “blurting” about death to strangers on Mary Day.  The first few years, oh my, those poor salesclerks.  You see, I have experienced quite a bit of death, and I talk about it openly.  But that is not true of most Americans, so when I “blurt” about my mom dying, unsuspecting clerks usually turn white and quiet.  It’s awkward.  Today I only blurted to the woman who helped me at Sephora (my annual pilgrimage to the make-up store to get new lipstick (as mom always wanted me to wear) and perfume). 

 

After an afternoon of shopping, I treated myself to a nice meal at True Food, a restaurant in the Mosaic District in Northern Virginia.  I ordered a fancy salad and cozied into my seat – taking in the ambiance of the space and texting with my sister. 

 

I noticed two women sitting side by side at a table near me.  I don’t think we consciously think about it, but when dining out with 2, typically the diners sit across from one another.  Yet here were these women, side by side.  I tried not to stare, but I did watch.  And what I witnessed was beautiful.

 

It became clear that this was a mother and daughter.  And that the traditional roles of mother and daughter had been reversed.  The daughter, perhaps a bit older than me, softly and gently cared for her mother.  She spoke to her.  Touched her lovingly.  Held up a glass with a straw for the mom to take a drink.

 

I didn’t notice the mother speak, she may be non-verbal.  And by the look in her eyes and the care she required, it appeared that she has dementia.  Her daughter treated her like a queen, and I felt honored to witness their quiet love. 

 

I decided that paying for their meal would be a wonderful use of Kindness funds, so I went to find my waiter and ask if the women had paid their bill yet.  Sadly, they had, so I could not treat them.  But then I had another idea – a gift certificate.  I asked the waiter to please bring them over a $50 gift certificate and just explain that someone wanted to gift it to them.

 

By the time the certificate was ready, the women were standing as the daughter was carefully putting her mother’s coat on and preparing her to go out into the fall air.  The server, his back to me, tried to hand the daughter the gift card and explain, but the woman looked confused and I was not sure that she was going to accept the offering.

 

So, I walked over to the table and explained that the gift certificate was from me.  We spoke and I confirmed that they were, in fact, mother and daughter.  I explained that my own mom died 20 years ago today, and it had been a joy for me to witness their love for one another. 

 

The daughter smiled a beautiful smile.  She was surprised that a complete stranger not only noticed them, but was now presenting them with a gift.  And she reached over and gave me a hug.  That’s when my tears flowed.  I asked if they come to the restaurant often and she explained that yes, they live in the area and frequent True Food.  “Perfect.  Please use this gift certificate next time you stop in,” I said through tears. 

 

I smiled at the mother.  I told her how beautiful her daughter was.  The daughter told me that her name was Susanna and asked if I might be interested in getting together for a cup of tea sometime.  I took her phone number and look forward to sitting with her and her mother, Patricia, some time.

 

As I left, the young hostess (who must have heard about the gift certificate when the server rang it up) stopped me and said, “That was very sweet of you to do.  My mother died, too, 6 years ago.  Thank you for remembering your mom and reminding me of mine,”. 

 

Here’s to the daughters.  Those of us whose mothers have left us.  Those of us taking on the difficult task of caretaking.  Those of us whose mothers live nearby, and those who mom’s live across the world. 

 

May we be the women they raised us to be. 

 

And may we celebrate the women they were/are.

 

Kindness Activist funds used:  $50

My mom and I, Easter 1967

2022 Kindness Yard Sale TOTAL!!

There are fund raisers, and there are FUND RAISERS.

And the 2022 Kindness Yard Sale was a FUND RAISER!

And now that the chaos of the sale is (mostly) over, we took tonight to celebrate. We thanked many of the amazing people who have helped out with Kindness Activist projects – not only the yard sale, but many other things, too.  We held a thank you party at Acme, our local pie shop run by the very sweet Sol Schott.  The restaurant was closed so it was just US – eating pie, chatting, laughing, playing pinball, writing down ideas on how to spread kindness using the funds we just raised, and getting “gifts” of leftover items from the yard sale (anyone need a car cell phone charger from 1992???). 

We also had the big reveal – the announcement of how much was raised at the Kindness Yard Sale, including the online auction and the in-person auction.  So many people have been asking, “How much did we raise???”, and it seemed fitting to announce it at a gathering of so many people who rolled up their sleeves and made the work successful.

I am pleased and proud to announce that the 2022 Kindness Yard Sale (and auctions) raised a total of $27,871!!!!!  That is so, so much more than I could’ve ever imagined – we more than doubled the total from 2021!

The assistants help out with the BIG REVEAL!

That money will go such a very long way in spreading kindness!  I have many, many ideas swirling around in my head on how we can start kindness ripples, and I can’t wait to read the ideas people at the event wrote down tonight.  

A few more photos from the thank you party:

                                                     

Here is how we have already begun spreading kindness with this year’s funds:

We actually started using the 2022 funds before the sale was even over!!  A group of high school students in Wakefield t-shirts were looking around the sale.  They chose some items, and when they came up to purchase them, I asked, “Hey, aren’t you supposed to be out fund raising for your music program today??? (someone had told me that was their day to ask the community to donate)”.  OOPS – they got caught shopping!  But all was well – we rang the cowbell, turned on the gold microphone, people cheered, and Kindness Activist made a $25 donation to the Wakefield Music Program! 

Total spent:  $25 

Another related to the Kindness Yard Sale; my friend Whitney was volunteering in the in-person auction area at the sale.  One of the items up for auction was a tv that had been donated.  It was nice – had a large screen – but was not a “smart” tv.  Some people signed up to bid on it, including a man that Whitney told me was really nice.  She had talked to him and his family and she said they were super sweet and seemed very deserving of a television (they currently didn’t have one).  Well, he didn’t win the tv in the auction.  But that was a-ok, because we used Kindness Activist funds to get him a brand new smart tv!!  He was very surprised and thankful when he came over to pick it up.

 

A brand new smart TV!

Total spent:  $321.59

We were at Trader Joe’s at closing time recently and decided to treat someone in line to their groceries.  I bought a $50 gift card and then perused the line to pick a lucky person to give it to.  As I was wondering who to choose, a woman in line spoke to me about something I was purchasing.  She was chatty and nice, and that made it easy to know who to surprise with the gift card!!  It was also fun that the groceries she had in her cart looked like they would total right around $50.  She couldn’t believe what had happened to her!  As we left I saw her telling an employee about her good fortune 😊 .

A gift card for one lucky shopper!

Total spent:  $50

And finally for this report, FLOWERS.  A neighbor has been studying to be a nurse and it came time for her to take the big exam.  She was understandably nervous for the test and studied a lot the month before.  So, we used $80 of Kindness Activist funds to get her a huge bouquet of gorgeous flowers to wish her well. 

 

Total spent:  $80

I owe a huge, huge thank you to so many people.  Thank you to all of you who:

Donated items

Sorted items

Hung clothing

Organized storage units

Hauled from storage to sale

Got us a free storage unit

Put up a whole auction website

Made signs

Set up sale

Sold lemonade

Worked at sale

Shopped at sale

Tore down sale

Sorted empty hangers

Broke down boxes

Hauled trash

Fed us

Supported us – kept me from pulling all of my hair out

Took great photos

Donated food for the Little Yellow Free Pantry

Organized storage for the Little Yellow Free Pantry

Filled the pantry when we were out of town

Grew plants

Sold plants

Suggested ideas for kindness

Brought us wine

Supported me when internet bullies were being mean

Entertained with jokes and magic tricks

Sent encouraging messages

Wrapped tons of Christmas gifts

Cleaned our porches

Hauled things to Goodwill, Little Free Libraries, and other places

Interpreted

Made phone calls for me to people who I couldn’t communicate with

Did grocery runs for special requests that came into the pantry

Helped decide the value of items (thanks to Google)

Came to vigils

Danced on corners

Voted in the daily polls

Helped Kindness Activist get more media attention

Suggested great ideas

And I am sorry to anyone who worked long and hard volunteering but got missed on the invite list for the thank you party tonight.  The pie shop is small – we might need a bigger venue for the 2023 thank you event!

The Humanity of Kindness

I hope you will indulge me in sharing some more Kindness Yard Sale stories.  I feel so lucky that I get to experience all of the magic, and I really like to share it with others.

 

People not familiar with the concept of the Kindness Yard Sale are often stunned that the philosophy actually works – I mean, if shoppers “pay what they wish”, it will be impossible to fundraise, right?  But the concept of “pay what you wish” works really well in this setting!  It is hard to explain, but once shoppers “get it” they GET IT! 

 

And yes, some shoppers pay far less than something would sell for at a “normal” yard sale.  But there are also shoppers who pay far MORE than the value of their purchase – understanding that they are not really “paying for the items” but are donating to a CAUSE.

 

And sometimes, well sometimes people are magnificent.

 

Story 1 - Take the neighbor who hadn’t had any time to visit the sale.  This neighbor has a difficult life – many people living in one house, trouble finding work, health issues…  I know that they do not have much in terms of money.  But this woman is sweet as can be and supportive of all of the work that I do.  So, as she walked by last evening, she said, “I don’t want to shop at the sale, but I want to make a donation,” and handed me a $5 bill.

 

That $5 bill was a LOT.  It could’ve been used to buy milk and eggs.  It could’ve put a bit of gas in the car.  But instead of using it for those necessary things, she chose to donate it.  She has been the recipient of acts of kindness from Kindness Activist, and now she was giving back. 

 

I encouraged her to come shop, and once she finished making and eating dinner she did return and get some clothing.  It made me happy that she was able to participate.

 

There are others who donate without shopping – sending Venmo or giving cash.  I see those sliding into my apps, friends, THANK YOU!  It is beautiful to see the kindness in action.  I appreciate it so much!

 

Story 2 - Our neighbor Danyae, the artist I have written about before, is a staunch supporter of my Kindness Activist work.  She is a refugee from China and has had such a hard life.  Her immigration status finally changed a couple of months ago and she now has permanent residence in the country that she loves so much – the United States of America.  This change in status also means that she now qualifies to get an EBT card so she can go to the grocery store and shop.  Danyae survived solely on food from the Little Yellow Pantry for 7 or 8 months.  Not only did she not have funds to buy food, but she believes that food and water are often “poisoned by the government” so not safe to eat.  I convinced her that the pantry food was safe, and she found a home in this community of kindness.

 

And now Danyae is giving back.  She has probably volunteered helping with the yard sale around 100 hours!  She is such a hard worker!  If I find a good task and set her up doing it, she is very successful and gets the jobs done. 

 

But, of course, she also needs things.  She is an artist, so needs paint and brushes.  She needs comfortable shoes (she walks and uses the bus system).  She needs clothes for the changing of the seasons.

 

I know her story and I know that she has literally nothing in terms of finances.  The government houses her and now pays for her food.  Her social worker is trying to find her employment (which is difficult given her mental issues).  She will have to move to a new apartment soon and I am advocating that be not too far from our home so she will have some friendly support. 

 

But given all of those factors, Danyae still insists on paying for her Kindness Yard Sale purchases.  I try not to take her money, boy do I try.  I explain she has “paid” by helping so much.  I explain that the yard sale is over, so today she can take what she wants for free.  But NO.  She insists that she pay.  (She wanted to pay $100 for some beautiful paintbrushes that she explained are very, very expensive and hard to find, I talked her down to $10 😊 .)

 

Danyae was also very helpful with translation services a couple of times during the sale!  One man showed me two wooden treasures he had found on a shelf and asked if I knew what they were.  “Hmmm, I have no idea,” I replied, “…but let me find Danyae!  If this writing is in Chinese she will tell us what they are and what they say!”. 

 

And sure enough, Danyae knew exactly what those treasures were.  They were pieces of wood that aristocrat artists, the elite, in China use to hold the edges of scroll paper down so that they can paint or write on it!  And she told us what the Chinese characters meant.  She did the same for a beautiful Chinese basket that was at the sale – translated the characters on the coins attached to the basket.  It is fun to see her eyes light up when she sees her language and can be of service by interpreting it.

 

And transversely, hearing some of the stories of her past are heartbreaking.  Today she was assisting me as we tried to sort the leftover clothing from the sale before the rain came.  We have many, many jeans, and I know that they are good to wear in the fall and winter.  I asked Danyae if she ever wears jeans (I had never seen her in them), thinking we would pull out a couple of pairs for her.  She told me, “No!  No.  I do not wear jeans.”  The strong delivery of such a simple statement made me wonder if there was more to the story, so I asked why not.  “My mother wore jeans,” she explained.  “They threw rocks at her.  The people in the village threw rocks.”  Sometimes I wish I was not so curious and didn’t ask about the story behind the stories, as they can be heartbreaking.

 

I will be hosting an evening art showing of Danyae’s work sometime soon.  I hope that the community will rally behind her and show her the love she so freely gives to me and others.

  

Story 3 - I learned a good lesson/had a good reminder of diversity at this year’s sale.  We go through loads and loads of bags as we check people out and give them their purchases.  Neighbors donate many cloth and plastic shopping bags for us to use.  Last evening, I was bagging some items that a mother and daughter purchased.  I reached down for a bag and found a really good one – Halloween!  It was orange and black and had a big, cute spider drawn on it.  It even had a little flashlight attached to it to use while trick-or-treating.  I showed it to the little girl and I oohhed and ahhhhed over the bag as I starting filling it with their items.  Then the mom quietly but confidently said, “May we have a different bag please?  We do not celebrate Halloween”.

 

Ahhhh – foot.  In.  Mouth.  I apologized as I grabbed a different bag and asked the mother to take the flashlight off the first bag so that her daughter could take that home with them. 

 

I was also reminded of the importance of pronouns.  As I sat and talked with a neighbor on the steps while their teenage child shopped and shopped, I referred to the child as “she”.  The mother quickly but gently said, “they”.  It was another reminder that I needed.  Pronouns, names, IDENTITY in general is so important. 

 

In the end all was well, no hurt feelings.  But those were good reminders for me that this community is diverse not only in nationality, race, language, gender expression, size, shape, and color – but also in religion.  I will be more mindful of that now that those women so kindly but confidently brought that to my attention. 

 

 And finally, story 4.  Now that the sale is over I have the big task of figuring out what to do with the leftover items.  I will donate some clothing to the women’s shelter, some to the general shelter, some to schools, and give some away in the local Buy Nothing group.  But other items – what to do with it all???  I knew there is an upcoming Halloween costume exchange – all costumes go there.  I know teachers often need books for their classrooms, so I put out an ask that people come pick out any books that they want (we will place the rest in Little Free Libraries around town).  A neighbor came and got craft supplies to make homecoming signs for high schoolers.  And I knew a local teacher was looking for stuffed animals for a big event coming up – animals go there.

 

The teacher needing animals came right away when I messaged her today.  She and I dug through the piles of animals that didn’t find homes during the sale.  We found EVERYTHING – bears, dogs, bunnies, turtles, stingray, whales, parrots, snakes, cats, fish – even COWS and PIGS!  In the end, we found over 3 garbage bags FULL of stuffed animals for the school event (and we still have all of the other stuffies that are not animal shaped!)

 

Car full of stuffed animals!pronou

So once again I am reminded that the Kindness Yard Sale is not only a place to raise money.  It is not only a place to find treasures.  But it is also a place to learn, to find community, and to be reminded of the beauty of the human experience.

Tea and Fruity Beer

This is the story of how we ended up drinking tea and fruity beer in the dark on a chilly night with recent arrivals to America from Bolivia…

 

But first, I should share a few more stories.

 

Today was the last day of the 2022 Kindness Yard Sale.  We had hoped it would just be last weekend, but the community was so generous with their donations that we didn’t even have enough space to display everything the first 2 days, so we extended one more day – today.

 

I don’t know if you have ever hosted a yard sale, but it is a LOT of work…  Hanging clothing.  Begging to borrow tables.  Setting things up.  Covering things when there is a threat of rain at night….

 

Now multiply THAT by, oh, maybe 60…  And THAT is the Kindness Yard Sale! 

 

People from all around the community donate, and boy howdy, did they donate this year!!!  We had every item imaginable (and some that were not even imaginable – chair socks??  Who knew chairs needed socks???).  And we had a steady stream of shoppers all 3 days of the sale.

 

It’s hard to put into words some of the magical moments that I was privy to witness.  But, since I believe that sharing those moments with you may inspire YOU to go out and be kind, I will try to write down some of the magic here (even though my feet are t-i-r-e-d, it is 10:30 PM and I haven’t eaten dinner yet, and I am imagining crawling up in my soft bed…).

 

Here is some of the magic I witnessed today:

 

Story one:  A neighbor messaged me and asked what I do with unsold items, was there a charity I recommend that they could donate a bag of shoes to?  Only, because it was so busy all day, even though I had my phone in my sexy fanny pack I wasn’t READING it, so I missed her message.

 

So, I think it was around 4:00 pm when someone walked up to me with a bag of shoes.  Thinking they were BUYING them, I said, “Oh terrific!  You found some great shoes!”.  And she said, “Oh, no, I was wondering if I could donate these?”.

 

My guard went up immediately!  We had so many shoes still displayed in the yard and on the porch!  And the donation window closed like 2 weeks ago!  “NO!” I said, probably a bit too forcefully, “We can’t take any more shoes, sorry!”.

 

But then she explained…  Her husband had had a stroke.  He had bought these amazing shoes at thrift shops with the plan of reselling them online at a profit, but that task was proving too difficult right now after the stroke.  He was, understandably, sad about that.  He wanted them to go to someplace kind…

 

“YES!  WE WILL TAKE THOSE SHOES!” I heard myself say.  And as I looked through a few pairs of them I saw that he was an excellent shopper – he had scored great quality and brands.  The sweet woman displayed them for me as I went back to assisting other shoppers.

 

I checked out 2 customers and noted that they had purchased these very late donated shoes…  And very shortly after the shoes had arrived…

 

And then I spied a man with his dog.  The man was handsome and dressed nicely.  “Excuse me,” I blurted, “I think I have some shoes for you!”.  I explained that there were some shoes that had just arrived, and I had a feeling they would be good for him.  “They are BRIGHT ORANGE,” I told him, as I explained where he should go to find them.  “Orange is my favorite color!!!” he said as he hurried off to see them.

 

A bit later he approached the check-out table.  “Did they fit??  Do you like them???” I asked anxiously.  He said that he loved them, but they were a tiny bit snug.  “Simple!” I exclaimed as he tried one on to show me, “Take off your socks!”. 

 

Problem.  Solved.  He was so happy to get those shoes!  In fact, he was heading to a rave tonight and was going to pair them with his ALL ORANGE outfit!  Talk about completing a look!  Kindness Yard Sale magic.

 

Story 2:  this one I didn’t witness myself, but as I turned the corner, the woman who HAD witnessed it was beaming and said, “You just missed an amazing act of kindness!!!”.

 

She explained:  A couple was purchasing quite a few items.  They lugged them to the check-out table, David leafed through them, then asked how much they would like to donate.

 

As sometimes happens, what they offered was very, very low compared to the amount they were buying.  David suggested a bit higher price, and the people stood there in silence, probably wondering what to do.

 

Then the magic happened…  A young woman standing nearby pulled out a wad of cash and handed it to David.  She PAID FOR THE OTHER PEOPLE’S ITEMS (on top of the small amount they had offered).  “Oh my!  That is very kind!” my friend told her.  To which the young woman replied, “Well that’s the point of this sale, isn’t it???”.

 

Ahhhh magic.

 

And not only THAT.  When the young woman was ready to check out with her own purchases, my friend who was volunteering said, “It’s ok, you have already paid” (referring to the money she had given for the other people’s purchases).  But the woman insisted on paying for her items as well.

 

I think this young woman’s mom was here with her.  If you are reading this, please know that your daughter is amazing.  She is discreet, respectful, and KIND.  You raised her well.

 

And finally…

 

Story three:   Yard sales are usually about getting the best bargain you can get, right?  Many shoppers have that mentality.  And yes, the Kindness Yard Sale is pay what you wish, will all donations going to Kindness Activist to spread kindness, but sometimes people offer ridiculously low amounts (like $4 for 3 garbage bags full of clothes (many of which are brand new and still have tags), handbags, and shoes…). 

 

So, on the 3^rd day of the sale, when the 200^th customer tries to pay almost nothing for items that are actually really valuable, it can get a bit tiring…

 

And that is what happened today.

 

Four adults, an infant, and a young girl shopped for maybe an hour or two.  They made huge, huge piles of items.  Furniture.  Clothing.  Shoes.  Toys.  And they kept adding and adding and adding to the piles. 

 

We had agreed on a price for the furniture, and I was trying to keep a little tally of a suggested donation for the other things as one pile became two became four became five…

 

But when it was time to check out with all of the loot, they offered far, far less than yard sale pricing.  They offered almost nothing for a VERY LOT of items. 

 

Luckily, a friend who is fluent in Spanish helped interpret as we spoke and I explained again that the money they donated would be used to help others, and could they offer a little bit more please, since what they were wanting was actually quite valuable.

 

Those moments are always awkward.  They don’t happen all that often (luckily), but when they do, they are not pleasant. 

 

The buyers added a bit more to the offer, we counter offered, etc.

 

We finally agreed on a donation (still far, far lower than the value of the items) and they started loading things into their car.

 

And loading.

 

And loading.

 

They had far too much to fit in their vehicle – let alone with 4 adults, 1 child, and an infant.

 

So, off the vehicle went with just the driver, to drop the things off at home, then come back for the rest and the people.

 

But home was not nearby…  And there was a lot to unload once they got home… 

 

So, they were gone for maybe 50 or 60 minutes.  During which time, the women sat, nursed a baby, and the little girl rode a scooter from the sale.

 

I admit, I was cranky.  They had paid their meager donation with a large bill and I had to make change – it just felt in “bad form”.  And then they sat around for an hour afterward…  I wasn’t feeling very kind.

 

The driver came back, loaded the car with the rest of their purchases, and, you guessed, no room for other riders again.  I told you they bought a lot!

 

Soooo, the women sat back down.  To wait.  Again. 

 

I knew that they had recently come to the US from Bolivia but didn’t know much else about them.  As it grew dark and became colder, I offered them blankets, which they gladly covered up with.

 

And then David, my sweetheart, flipped my kindness switch back on.  “I am going inside to make them some tea,” he said.

 

Yes.

 

Make tea.

 

Welcome these women.  These people who just arrived in our country. 

 

Out came the tea, and beautiful little plates he made of zucchini bread slices with strawberries in the middle. 

 

The women were delighted.  They sat and drank tea, and we joined them in the dark. 

 

We “broke bread”.  We learned about them – not a family (as I had assumed) but people who all just came to work at the Bolivian consulate.  Three had only been here one week, one for a month. 

 

We talked.  We laughed.  We struggled with language but got by.  One woman mentioned (in Spanish) that she wished she had a beer.  We know the Spanish word for beer, so David rushed in and served us all some beer. 

 

I gave them hints where to get groceries for cheap (Aldi), where to get small items at a low price (Dollar Tree).  They told us a bit about their country and their work and explained that what might cost one dollar at home costs $7 in America.

 

Our artist neighbor, Danyae, walked down and joined us, trying beer for the first time in her life!  “I always though alcohol would taste bad – this is much better than my expectation!” she delighted.  She is a Chinese refugee and she told our new Bolivian friends the importance of making friends in America and learned English.

 

The driver and vehicle finally returned.  But instead of rushing to pack up and go home, they stayed.  We talked and talked and talked.  “The museums here are free!” we explained.  “What is the name in English of this?” they asked about a bike helmet. 

 

They reminded me that being a stranger in a strange land is not easy.  That happening on a sale like the one they magically found today (they were heading for the zoo – how they ended up at our house is a mystery to me…) is kismet.

 

I gave them my card. 

 

We don’t know their names.  Not sure if they will ever contact us again.

 

But I hope they do.  They are welcome here.  Welcome in America, and welcome at the Big Yellow House. 

 

And THAT, my friends, is the magic of the Kindness Yard Sale.

 

(And THAT is the story of how we ended up drinking tea and fruity beer in the dark on a chilly night with recent arrivals to America from Bolivia…)

Selfie as the recent arrivals to America loaded up their vehicle the 3rd time :)