Kindness Yard Sale - Money Raised, NOW WHAT?

Whew, the Kindness Yard Sale is finally almoooost over!  It actually happened a couple of weeks ago (June 8^th), but we have still been picking up from it, giving items away to neighbors, and donating left-overs to Goodwill.  I just came back from mailing an astronaut suit that was donated for the sale to be used as dress up clothes by 3 super cute little brothers, and the beautiful bracelet that a friend bought in the pre-sale online auction to her.  Tying up all of the loose ends of the sale.

Which leads up to – WHAT TO DO WITH THE $1552.76 RAISED TO SPEND ON KINDNESS???

I didn’t imagine that it would be so difficult to dream up fun, creative, and meaningful ways to use the funds collected, but it is!!  Here is a tally on what the funds have been used for so far:

·         $20 (and a welcome card) was tucked into a donation of clothes going to a family that just immigrated to the US from Albania.  A kind neighbor is helping them settle in and had come to pick up clothes for them.  $20 is not much when you are starting over in a new country, but I hope it helped them feel WELCOME and at home in America.

·         $6.99 was used to purchase a dozen roses at Trader Joe’s and hand them out to patients at a cancer center.  My sister is undergoing treatment for glioblastoma (brain cancer), so we are often at the center for her scans, bloodwork, and appointments.  While she was in getting an MRI last week, my other sister and I walked around and gave patients roses with encouraging notes attached.  It was touching – I would like to do some more of these visits and handouts.  One woman was sitting with a friend/relative in the radiation waiting room.  She was bald from treatment and had a b-i-g 3 ring binder next to her that said “breast cancer” on the top (and “&*$% cancer” on the spine).  When we handed her a rose, she smiled and teared up.  I really think little actions like that can give a person a boost of energy to get through the day.

 ·         $25 was left tucked in an envelope at the place where we get our haircut.  It was addressed to “Client of Gilbert”, and we asked our fabulous stylist (Gilbert) to give it to whoever he sees next.  This note was included: 

"Dear Client of Gilbert –

SURPRISE!  We want to help you pay for your haircut!!  Here is $25 to put toward your services today.  We love Gilbert and how he does our hair, and you must, too, or you wouldn’t be here!!

Have a great day.

P.S. – Give Gilbert a good tip please!  He deserves it."

 ·         $20 was left in the produce section at Trader Joe’s in an envelope addressed: TO YOU, TRADER JOE’S SHOPPER with this note: 

“Dear Person Buying Produce at Trader Joe’s –

SURPRISE!  We want to help pay for your groceries today!!  Eating healthy can be expensive, and you deserve the best.  So here is $20 to help when you check out.

Have a terrific day!!”.

At first we left it under some containers of mushrooms, but we watched a while and no one spotted it!  We left the store and came back about 2 hours later and STILL no one had found it!  So, we moved it to the English cucumber section, really out in the open.  Then we hid and watched and person after person walked by it and didn’t see it.  Remarkable!  How much must we all walk by in life everyday and MISS??  Finally, a shopper saw it and opened it.  The cool thing was that she was in a wheelchair, so the envelope was at EYE LEVEL for her.  I hope she liked it and used the money when she checked out!

So, $71.99 has been used for Kindness so far , and there is a lot left!  I can’t wait! 

Pssst - if you are in the Arlington, Virginia area and driving down Walter Reed/Fillmore, be sure to stop at the LINE before the corner of 2^nd and Fillmore…  Just a little hint, some kindness might come to a few drivers tonight or Friday who actually stop at the line and don’t block the buses trying to make the corner…  😊

Kindness Yard Sale - THE TOTAL IS IN!

We did it!

The Kindness Yard Sale is complete.  It was a full day, that’s for sure!  David and I started putting items out at 7:00 am, and we had not ever really finished that task when we finally closed up shop at 6:15 pm!   There were just SO.  MANY.  DONATIONS!  It was amazing!

Many neighbors stopped to chat and shop.  It was lovely!  I met some people that I had only known online (nice to put a face with a name) and saw people I hadn’t seen in a while.  I foolishly thought that once we got everything set up in the morning, I would spend the rest of the afternoon chatting, “ringing people up”, and serving lemonade.  Wrong, wrong, wrong!  When there weren’t customers, we would pop back inside to bring out more goods! 

We had incredible support from generous shoppers, much more generous that I could have imagined.  A couple of people even gave donations and didn’t buy anything!!  But counting the money is the easy part.  I think at this point it is more important to think about the day – the experience – and what it meant.

Talking with neighbors all day reminded me of the importance of COMMUNITY.  People rode up on their bikes, walked, pushed strollers…  And what a SEA of people – every age, different languages being spoken, different beliefs I am sure.  And yet here we were – most of us strangers, but still a COMMUNITY.

I had several favorite moments of the day.  One was when 3 girls dressed in PRIDE gear were on the lawn trying to figure out how to open a suitcase David had donated.  It used to be his favorite bag and he had a bit of a difficult time deciding to let it go.  He rushed down to show them how the lock worked and they were so excited!  They ended up buying the suitcase and a couple of other things so came up on the porch to check out.  As we talked they told us they are not official neighbors, but they are interns here for the summer.  One girl said she teared up when she read the sign on the gate saying the money raised was being used for kindness.  I told them about my Kindness Activist project and gave them each a Kindness Activist button, which made her cry again!  They were so sweet.  When I asked how much they would like to donate for their items, they, like many shoppers today, hemmed and hawed a bit.  It is HARD to price your own items!  So someone (I think it was David) suggested maybe $15 for everything they were getting.  They smiled and said, “Well, we were going to give you $20 just for the SUITCASE, so how about $25 for everything…”.  ISN’T THAT BEAUTIFUL?

Another favorite moment was when an early teen child came up to me and asked a bit awkwardly, “Are you having a yard sale?”.  Ummm, no kid, I just like having my grass and porch filled with stuff and walking around wearing a fanny pack…  😊  Once he was assured it was indeed a yard sale, he set about exploring.  He was meticulous in his shopping, but once he heard me mention LEGOS to a little boy his behavior changed a bit.  I brought out a big tub of Lego, and those boys, 1 probably 5 years old and one around 15, sat side by side for what was probably half an hour.  They quietly looked at piece after piece, each boy sharing so nicely and being so respectful.   

One older Hispanic woman and I found a common language even though neither of us were fluent in the other's native tongue.  I offered her a SANGRIA ICE CUBE on a hot afternoon, and her eyes lit up.  A quick nod of the head made it clear we understood one another.  :) 

It was fun to see our State Delegate (Alfonso Lopez) take a break from campaigning (the election is THIS TUESDAY) to stop by and say hi (and shop!).  Alfonso is a terrific guy – very down-to-earth and relate-able.  Don’t worry Alfonso, your sign is going back up on our fence (I had replaced it for a yard sign sale and about 15 hours after I took it down a couple days ago he showed up with a replacement sign and pronounced our corner to be the best one to post political signage). 

It made my heart happy that a neighbor decided she would tell me about a beautiful kind act she had done in secret and not told anyone else.  

I was so happy to meet a man who told me he drives by our house everyday - going to and coming from work.  He smiled and said, "You have coats in winter, yes?".  He then explained that twice he had stopped and picked up coats from our front gate in my "Project Warmth" coat giveaways!  It was an honor to meet him and know where some of the coats went and that he sincerely appreciated them. That is good motivation to continue that project when winter returns.  

And finally, a wonderful moment was when a FLOAT heading to the big Pride Parade in DC stopped right in front of our house!  It was decorated in trans flag colors and it looked magnificent!!  We couldn’t go to Pride this year because of the sale, so it felt like Pride came to us!!!  I cheered and the people in the truck pulling the float rolled down the windows and celebrated with us!  Happy Pride!

Ok, enough chatting.  Let’s get to the part we have all been waiting for:  the donations!  How much did we take it, which equals how much KINDNESS WE CAN PUT OUT? 

One moment while we unload our official yard sale fanny packs and do the math…

The Kindness Yard Sale raised $1005.46!!!!!  Over $1000 in one day!  Isn’t that remarkable!  I am so excited to see how many kind acts we can do with that money!  I never expected this to raise nearly that much.  And if I add in the money from online auctions of 2 items I did leading up to the sale and the friends who donated to give us a cushion (in case the yard sale was a flop…) – we raised a total of $1205.46 FOR KINDNESS!!!!!! 

Thank you all SO MUCH.  The smiles, the donations, the whole experience has been really heart warming.  I promise to spend every penny on KINDNESS and to report back what it was used for.

Special thanks to all of the generous people who donated items to sell.  Many of those things found new homes today!  And those that didn’t get sold today will get donated (be on the look out for tons of posts from me Buy Nothing Friends…).

Also, thanks to:

·         Kendra for the loan of the big cooler for lemonade – it was really needed

·         Marta for the hard work on translating the signage into SPANISH.  Translation is not an easy task, nor is explaining the concept of this type of sale to someone that you do not share a common language with!  Marta, we had a few copies printed of your translations and used them A LOT!

·         Amy and Michael for helping us (the earring is still elusive Amy but WILL be found)

·         Ixi for bringing us some tasty donuts from Mac’s truck!  (We hadn’t eaten anything all day yet so they were great fuel to keep up going)

·         Jay for donating so many Lego – apparently Lego unites generations (and I kind of understand more now why parents complain about Lego, I am finding bits of them in the yard and on the porch…)

·         The Buy Nothing administrator for VERY politely reminding me that I shouldn’t be talking about selling stuff on BUY nothing 😊

·         A little neighbor girl, 2 year old Ellie, who decided to give her $2 of change back as a donation.  I think she is a Kindness Activist in training.

·         Janet for the Gatorade –shoppers were delighted with it after we got it ice cold

·         And the amazing Penrose community

·         And anyone else I forgot to thank (sorry!  It is 2:00 am and I am sleeeeepy)

P.S. – Shout out to the trickster that donated an “unrated” movie (”Eurotrip”) that looks a bit “soft pornish” on the cover, AHHHHH!  Neighbors I had never met probably think I am a complete weirdo now – in putting books and DVDs out quickly, I failed to notice that this movie miiiight not be 100% appropriate.  So, I did as any good retailer would do, I DISPLAYED IT WITH ALL OF THE OVER DVDS, meaning “Eurotrip Unrated” was next to some Disney Princess movie for hours and hours until I noticed it!

P.P.S. – Does anyone want to buy a copy of “Eurotrip Unrated” on DVD?

P.P.P.S – there WILL be a video of David get pied from the Pie in the Face game thanks to friends who donated before the sale!  We need a bit of rest, and to buy some whipped cream, and then BLAMO!! 

Freezer Kindness

It seems like the whole of the US has been having bad storms lately – tornadoes, thunderstorms, floods.  My area (metro Washington DC) has been no exception.  A big storm hit recently that caused lots of trees and branches to fall and electrical wires to be ripped down.  This, of course, meant loads of people (including us) lost power. 

When that happens, one tends to think of the “obvious” – things like, “It is super hot out, and now we have no AC…” or “The traffic lights are out, I hope there are no accidents,” or maybe the 1^st world issue, “No power??  How will I watch television?”.

But one thing I have never thought of when the power went out was, “OH NO, how will I ensure that all of this milk I pumped for my baby does not spoil??”.  I have never breastfed, so have never had to trouble shoot that problem.  But a neighbor, Jessica, ran into just that issue in the recent power outage.  I saw her post this message to the neighborhood Facebook group:

“To anyone who still has power, would you be willing to share some of your freezer space if the power isn’t back on by tomorrow? I have a sizable amount of frozen breastmilk for my newborn, and I’m worried about it thawing in the next 24 hours. Please let me know!”

At first, I was worried for her, but the replies started being posted very shortly after her plea, and it made my heart sing.  Neighbors were reaching out to HELP!!  Comments quickly popped up like, “If my power comes on first I will post here.  I have a deep freezer that I never use”.  And “I have power and can make some room, too”.  The coming together of community gave me goosebumps. 

I contacted Jessica and asked if it would be alright to share her story.  She said yes, and even told me a bit more about it.  Her baby was only 5 weeks old the afternoon they lost power, and look at what a cutie!!

I asked the mom of a newborn how long the power was out before she started to worry about the milk, and she said, “Frankly, I was concerned the minute it went out! Conventional wisdom says it should be fine for 24 hours if you don’t open the freezer, but as any mom who as breastfed can attest, every drop is so important. After about 6 hours with no power, I started to really worry”.

One of her co-workers offered to drop off ice that he’d picked up for his wife and their baby, but with no idea how long the power would be out, it wasn’t clear that solution would work, and Jessica didn’t want to drive to her friend’s house at 10 pm, so that’s when she turned to the neighborhood Facebook group.  She said, “I think I had responses within 5 minutes. At least 3 people offered up their freezers”.  Isn’t that terrific??

A sweet neighbor named Jesse stored the milk.  The power luckily our power came back on in the middle of the night, so the next day Jessica picked up the frozen milk and brought it back home. 

Jessica told me, “I feel a strong sense of community here and am very fortunate to live in a neighborhood where strangers help strangers!  I am so grateful to the people who responded, and it makes me even more likely to help out my neighbors any time I can. I was so stressed about the whole situation, and luckily that only lasted for a couple of hours thanks to the generosity of others.”

Kindness.  It doesn’t need to be elaborate.  It doesn’t need to be expensive.  It just needs to be heartfelt and genuine.  A little kindness can lighten the load of a neighbor, a friend, or a stranger.  Keep your eyes open and look for places YOU can spread some kindness today.

Birthday Kindness

I have been feeling sad and stressed lately.  Often when that is the case, if I stop and examine things, I realize that I have taken my focus off kindness.  If I can re-focus – put kindness front and center again – the hustle bustle of the world slows down, and life seems more manageable.

And that is what happened today.

My sweetheart and I had a day FULL of plans – in fact we had so many events we wanted to attend today that before bed last night we had to eliminate one thing off our list.  We planned to wake up early, drive an hour to an event we both really wanted to go to, drive back and attend ANOTHER event we both were happy to go to, then go to a 3^rd event…  In one day…  And I wonder where the stress was coming from…

Anyway, it was not to be.  The alarm went off this morning and I said, “One more snooze…” several times until we just gave up and admitted we would rather sleep.

Fast forward to 12:30 pm when I finally woke up.  Oops.  First planned event down the drain…

After a very nice breakfast we headed to the annual Flower Mart at the Washington DC National Cathedral.  We went last year for the first time and really liked it – there are booths of art work, clothing, food, and plants set up all around the green lawn of the Cathedral, and also singing and dancing for entertainment.  Moseying around the event is a nice way to spend a springtime day.

I was looking for a birthday gift for my sister (shhh, I got one!).  I also found a great t-shirt with a message that I need:  the front says, “don’t wait” and the back says, “There is no right time.  Make it happen”.  I think those are great mottos to live by, don’t you?

don't wait

There is no right time.

As I looked around one booth I heard the shop owner talking to a girl, trying to help her decide which of two small hand painted bowls she should get.  The girl loved them both, and was finding it impossible to choose.  “Just pick one.  Get it.  Take it home, you will love it.  And after a while you will not even remember the other one”, said the shop keeper.  It wasn’t an attempt at pushing a sale, it was trying to teach a life lesson to a teenager.  The girl hemmed and hawed, then explained that she was trying to be more conscious in how she spent her money.  Respect, girl, respect!  I was impressed.  The woman at the stall asked when her birthday was, and she said, “Next week!”.  “Ahh, this would make a good birthday gift for yourself!”.

After much deliberation, the girl walked away.  I asked the shop keeper which bowl she had chosen, and she told me she had NOT.  The girl left without getting a bowl, but it was the green one that she really wanted.  I looked at it – it was beautiful.  “Wait a minute!” I hollered to the girl and the woman I presumed was her mother as they walked away.  I handed the green bowl to the woman working and asked her to ring it up.  “I would like to get this for you for your birthday,” I told the young girl.  She stared at me.  “What???  Oh, no…  You don’t have to do that…”.  “I know I don’t have to, and that is exactly what I want to,” I told her.  “I think you deserve this for your birthday.”  The woman with her was stunned.  She teared up.  She was not sure what to think.  Then the young girl introduced herself to me and gave me a big hug.  “Wait a minute!”, her adult friend said, “You don’t KNOW this woman???”.  We chuckled and explained that no, we had never met.  This made the older woman cry.  “This is my neighbor,” she said.  “She is turning 17 next week.  She and I have come to this market together for years.  We have never had anything like this happen to us!  We will pay it forward!!  I promise, we will pay it forward!”.

The shop keeper smiled and finished the transaction.  She wrapped the delicate little bowl in a brown bag and handed it to me.  I presented it to the stranger – the birthday girl.  “HAPPY BIRTHDAY.”

And just like that – my focus shifted.  My heart opened.  My breathing was slower and deeper.  The grass looked even more vibrantly green and the world seemed more manageable.

A little kindness goes a long way (both for the receiver and the giver).  Open your heart to kindness today.  Don’t wait.

Crepe Kindness

One of the good things about living in the Washington DC area is that there are several bus companies that drive the DC/NYC route, so you can easily score a cheap ride to New York.  When we have a weekend off, we like to do just that, and it’s even better when we have an “excuse” to go.  Recently we were invited to an anniversary party in NYC, so we jumped on a bus.

But not before hunting online for fun things to do while we were there and making a list!  This time the list included Chocolate By The Bald Man - Max Brenner – which looked amazing in online reviews!  Especially since my sweetheart is a huge chocolate fan!

We popped into the restaurant on a Saturday afternoon and were told we would have quite a long wait.  But then we spied 2 seats at the counter, which was 1^st come 1^st served.  And BEST SERVED, it turned out!

Our seats were directly in front of the CREPE MAKER.  This woman’s job was to make crepe after crepe after crepe.  She did not stop!  She had 2 crepe machines, and as soon as she would pour and circle the batter on machine 1, she would do the same on machine 2.  Then flip (repeat on machine 2).  Then take off (repeat on machine 2).  Then start again.  Crepe after crepe after crepe.  And they were all perfect!  I guess she has a lot of practice…  We felt like we had won the seat lottery since we got to watch her work.

The menu had loads of chocolatey goodness to choose from, but of COURSE we picked a crepe!!  We ordered a hazelnut, banana, chocolate crepe, then sat back and waited for it to be OUR TURN with the crepe maker!! 

She knew we were watching her – we exchanged several smiles.  And she knew when she got to OUR CREPE.  For that one she seemed to take EXTRA CARE – specially drying the plate it would be displayed on, drizzling the sauce…  We laughed and pointed and gave her lots of “thumbs up” on the production.  When she was finished, she tried to reach around the counter and hand it to us personally, but was intercepted by the man in charge of organizing all of the food before it went out.  Her eyes seemed to say to him, “But it is THEIRS – it is for my FRIENDS who have been cheering me on!  I want to personally deliver it please…” but he was having none of it.  In fact, as he took it away from us, he said it was for someone else.  I think the crepe lady felt bad, she had put extra care and love into that one, and it turned out it wasn’t even ours!

But wait – the boss man was wrong!!!  IT WAS OURS, and he had to eat a bit of crow as he handed it back to us.  We exchanged big smiles with our crepe friend and dug in.

Our amazing crepe, and in the background, our new friend the crepe maker!!!  

It was delicious!!!  All of the flavors blended perfectly and one crepe (and an amazing hot cocoa) was more than enough for us to share.  We were very happy! 

I wanted to tip the crepe lady.  It was HER who had done all the work, so carefully making crepe after delicate crepe.  She had treated us like special guests, and I wanted to treat her special in return.  So, we took a $10 bill and slipped it through a line in the glass that separated her from us.  I gave her a big smile, pointed to the tip, and pointed to HER, making sure she knew it was for her and her alone.   She gestured back, “ME????” and we nodded YES!!! 

She.  Was.  Thrilled.  It was obvious she was not used to being tipped – she didn’t know what to do!!!  The bill was suspended in the glass between us and her, and she kept eyeballing it and grinning from ear to ear as she cranked out more crepes.  Finally, she turned to the woman who was probably her supervisor and explained (in Spanish) that the tip was there.  The supervisor looked at it, then looked back and said, “FOR YOU????” and our friend giggled and said “Siiii!!”.  The supervisor smile at us, retrieved the money, and gave it to the crepe maker.

A steaming hot "hug mug" of Italian hot cocoa - ahhhhhhhhh.

This tiny gesture of kindness went such a long way.  The smile on the woman’s face would not go away, it was the sweetest thing.  And one by one she pulled co-workers aside, explained in Spanish what had just happened, and showed them the $10 bill in her pocket.   They all looked like they were very happy for her luck.

Sometimes small gestures yield BIG RESULTS.  We couldn’t give money to every homeless person we saw in NYC.  We couldn’t buy meals for everyone there going hungry.  But we could make one dedicated crepe maker feel as special as she is.  We could remind her that her work is appreciated.  And we could make her smile. 

Bonus NYC photo - the Statue of Liberty as seen from Battery Park on a warm(ish) Spring day!

Floating Kindness

I am not one for “woo woo” stuff.  I don’t normally get into things like crystals, healing lotions and potions, or Reiki.  Heck, I don’t even do yoga or meditate.

Let’s face it – I basically have 2 gears – HIGH and OFF.  It is either full-on-hell-bent-gettin’-shit-done-and-having-fun, or watching-tv-drinking-wine-then-going-to-bed.

So, when my friend Beth asked if she could get me a gift certificate for a FLOAT, I will admit that I was nervous.  A FLOAT??  What sounds more hippy dippy than floating around in a tank of salt water for an hour??  But Beth had done it and loved it, and I trust her opinion, plus it was something new and a gift, so YEAH, LET’S DO IT!

After I had received the gift but before I had DONE the float, I had lunch with another friend who had floated.  She.  Hated.  It.  Her story was hilarious – feeling trapped inside the “pod” floating in the water, feeling trapped, the sense that time was creeping as slowly as possible and the hour might never be over…  I was afraid my experience might be more like HERS than Beth’s. 

But still, in for a penny, in for a pound, right?  The gift certificate was given out of love and Beth knows everything I have gone through over the last year.  She really hoped it would help me feel better.  Plus, I say again, it was something NEW, so why not give it a go??

Here is my float tank

My appointment at Synergy (even the name sounds woo woo!) was today at noon.  The place is hidden away in a basement of a building in Alexandria, VA.  There is a buddha statue outside (of course) (but honestly, I liked him).  Inside there was a shelf of potions (CBD oil anyone??).  A sweet lady checked me in and showed me to my float tank.  BUT IT WASN’T A POD…  It looked like a HOT TUB.  I am sure the disappointment registered on my face.  I had imagined a space age POD!!!  Stars on the ceiling!  Being cocooned in a Jetson-like sculpture for an hour.  But instead, you were giving me, A HOT TUB???  What a rip!

When I expressed my disappointment, the lady told me the pod was booked already, but if I didn’t like this tank I could rebook for the pod another day, or I could wait until 3:30 and use it.  I had already Ubered over ($9 – we are a one car family right now and my partner used the car for work today).  I had other stuff to do this afternoon so I couldn’t sit around in their hippy lounge until 3:30.  Plus, I trekked over to Synergy wearing NO LOTION, no make-up, and NO DEODERANT (as the website had instructed me).  Did I really want to do that again another day, or should I just make the best of it and take the “hot tub” looking tank.  “This is fine, I will just do this one,” I said, probably a bit bleakly. 

Wait, it's like, a HOT TUB??

The woman explained how it would work – close and lock my private room, rinse off in the shower if I was wearing any lotion or deodorant (nope – I followed the rules!), put in the provided ear plugs, get in the tank, and after I stopped moving the motion detector lights would go off after 30 seconds.  There would be a small light in the tank and if I wanted to turn it off I could just push the big button.  And there was a spray bottle of fresh water just in case any of the super salty water got in my eye.

Piece of cake!!!  She left, I snapped a photo or two, then stripped down and went to get in.

Wheee - let's FLOAT!

WAIT – before I tell you about the experience floating, I should confess my biggest fears about it:

1.       I was MOST afraid that I would be COLD, and that would make me miserable for an hour.  I am often cold, and I had been told that the water was “body temperature” not WARM or HOT.  That was the scariest part for me – the idea of floating miserably for an hour shivering.

2.      I was also scared of MY EMOTIONS.  Like I said, I don’t meditate.  And I have been through some awful stuff this last 8 months.  What if, when I finally let my mind RELAX and stop spinning, I just FELL APART?  What if I cried and sobbed and snorted the whole hour??  Would I be able to handle that??

But even though I was hesitant, I went for it. 

My first reaction (when foot number one went in) was, “Hey!  It does not feel cold!  Not HOT, but not cold.  The temperature might work!”.  Then, as foot number one touched the bottom, I thought, “THIS THING IS SLIMY AS ALL GET-OUT!”.  Not dirty slimy, but the mix of salt and water must make it slippery.  So I was very careful getting in.

And then I laid back.  I was in about 11” of water, which doesn’t seem like much, does it?  But I totally floated.  I lie still, and sure enough the room lights went out.  That make it darker, but not DARK.  So I floated myself down to the button to turn off the “hot tub” light with my toe, and CLICK – PITCH.  BLACK.

I mean – DARK.  COMPLETE DARKNESS.

And I floated.*

The water was the same temperature as my body.  I played around a bit – would it be better with my arms HERE or HERE?  Was the tank big enough for me to stretch out both legs and arms?? 

And after a while, I relaxed.  I opened my eyes, I closed them, but it didn’t matter, the blackness remained.**

As I floated, I felt my body and could easily notice the points of tension.  When your body is weightless, the areas you are contracting stick out.  I focused on those spots and trying to release – trying to FLOAT with no tension.

I breathed. 

After a while, I could SEE THINGS.  Lights moving.  Patterns dancing.  I feared my eyes might get used to the darkness and start to be able to focus, but was glad they did not.  The darkness held much more interesting imaginary art than the light does.  One time, I thought I was nearing the top edge of the tank.  I could “see” a pattern that I “knew” was the edge.  I kept my eyes open, watching myself float closer and closer to the “edge”, until I had floated THROUGH it…  It was not a literal edge, it was a pattern my eyes (or my mind’s eye?) had projected. 

I do not do drugs, but I imagined that this feeling must be what a good trip feels like.  Nothingness, and everything, all together.  Floating and safe.

I know I slept some.  In fact, at one point I think a snore (my own) woke me up.  But most of the time I felt alert, relaxed, pleasant, and safe.  It was a comforting experience. 

Before I began the float the woman working there had explained at the end of 60 minutes some quiet chimes would go off and the light inside the tank would turn on.  If I did not notice that, some jets would start moving the water around.  I couldn’t believe it when I heard the chimes!  At first I thought they must be in another room (which is impossible because it felt very soundproof).  Then “ding”, I heard it again.  And the light went on inside the tank.  I sat up, but couldn’t believe I had been floating an hour, so stubbornly turned the light OFF again to keep floating in the dark 😊.  But sure enough, the jets turned on and my time was up.

There was a shower in the room so I washed up and got dressed.  As I showered I thought, “Oh, maybe this was a half hour float!  That’s why it went so quickly”.  But NOPE, the lady confirmed I had been in there for 60 minutes. 

The photo is blurry, but honestly I sorta felt blurry when I got out, a GOOD kind of blurry

I sat in the lounge and had some tea (of course, what else would hippies drink, right?).  It was a nice space and the hot tea tasted good.  I read, re-starting a David Sedaris book I began years ago and didn’t finish.  My mind felt more FOCUSED.  More calm.  And my body felt so relaxed. 

David picked me up and on our ride home I kept SIGHING out loud.  Just contented, peaceful (loud) SIGHS.

So yeah, I guess I like some woo woo things.  Cuz I could totally get into floating.

Since my friend gifted ME this float, I would like to gift someone else a float.  If you live in a city where there is a float center and would like to try it (first timers only please) – EMAIL ME at kindnessactivist@gmail.com .  Tell me your name and why you want to try floating.  I will read all emails and at 10:00 pm EST March 3rd I will choose someone to gift a float to.  (March 3^rd just happens to be Beth’s birthday, the friend who gave me my gift certificate!)

Happy floating, friends.

Footnotes:

* It was like floating in the Dead Sea in Israel, only no other people in there with me :) 

**I have only ever experienced the kind of pitch blackness I had today twice in my life:  once at a restaurant in Paris called “Dans Le Noir” which is run by blind people.  It was totally dark and blind waiters served us, I loved it!  then once more in Sweden at a museum about blindness (which, sadly, might be closed now).

Butterfly Kindness

I haven’t written here for quite a long time, and I am sorry.  There has been much sadness in my world over the last 8 months, and that sadness has consumed my time, my energy, and my creativity.  I am not going to write about that today, but I promise to do so at some point.

For now, I want to tell you a little bit about my friend Carol.  The story about her is also a sad one, but I am on a plane and was looking through old photos and found one of her that made me smile, so I wanted to share the story with you.

My friend Carol

Carol was our next-door neighbor in Ormond Beach, Florida.  She and I were quite different people; she was a country girl (Kentucky), I fancy myself a city girl (DC).  She never went down to the beach (a block and a half from our homes), I live for walks on the sand.  Politically, we were polar opposites.  We were different ages.  And yet – we CLICKED.  We had fun together and every time we went to Florida I looked forward to seeing her and laughing together.   

Carol had been sick for years – she was on oxygen (though she didn’t really keep it on as much as she was supposed to…) for bad lungs.  She had other ailments, too, like shingles and pneumonia.  But it was her lungs that failed.  They were already compromised from COPD, then cancer hit.  She and the doctors did all they could, but it wasn’t too long before she and everyone around knew her days were numbered. 

Carol's flowers after a Florida rain

I was worried that I would not get to see her and say goodbye, but we arrived in Florida before she died.  Her family had moved her into a hospital bed in the “Florida room” of the house (a Florida room is a room that used to be a porch but has been closed in).  By the time we got there she was pretty much confined to the bed.  She talked to us.  We laughed.  I read her greeting cards that people sent.  I asked a rock painting group if they would make her some rocks and they did – painted beautiful, elaborate rocks for a complete stranger!  She and I liked to look at those. 

As she got worse, I would just sit by her bed and hold her hand.  I would read to her from her Bible.  And I would sing hymns to her that I could remember from my childhood.  She was very religious, and at times when she was more alert she would join in with me on the songs.  I loved those moments when she joined in with her weak, tired voice.  I can’t say the 2 of us were the prettiest sounding duet ever heard, but we “got the job done”, as Carol might have said.

Sweet friend

She fought, and she fought hard.  Hospice nurses were amazed at her tenacity and will to live.  They kept warning that she would pass “any time”, but Carol kept defying their orders and lying in that bed, raising her leg, kicking off her covers, and every once in a while giving her family and friends a slight little smile.

Before she was really sick Carol told me that she had decided she was a BUTTERLY LADY.  She explained that meant that after she died, she would come back to visit all of us as a BUTTERFLY.  She told me to know that anytime a butterfly fluttered around me, it was her popping in to say hello. 

One day I had an idea.  I would make Carol’s room a BUTTERFLY room – make what would be her death bed a place of peace and comfort.  So, I bought a bunch of little butterflies at the craft store and put them on small magnets.  The ceiling over Carol’s hospital bed was made of metal, so I stuck those butterflies allllll above her.  If she opened her weary eyes, I wanted her to know that they were there for her – Carol the Butterfly Lady.

The ceiling above Carol's bed

Carol died the next evening.  Her husband was with her, and right after she passed he came to get us.  We sat with him and cried, saying goodbye to our sweet friend.

Nothing I did for my friend was extravagant.  I simply gave her the gift of time together, of holding hands, of reading aloud, singing, and BUTTERFLIES.  I like to believe that those simple kind acts made her last days easier to bear.  I like to think she knew those butterflies were up there above her.  And I believe what she told me – that she is now a BUTTERFLY LADY. 

Sweetly, almost every day we are in Florida, at least one butterfly flutters through our yard.  And every time I see them, I smile, and say, “Hi Carol!”.

 

Hi Carol