Kindness - in Happy Times and in Grief

It’s time for another update on how money raised at the Summer Kindness Pop Up is being used to spread kindness in the world! 

I am part of a very active Facebook group in my community called Buy Nothing (BN). BN groups are hyper local and exist so that neighbors can trade crap for free! I am sure that is not how their mission statement is written, but it is in reality what happens 😊 . If, for example, I have a perfectly good vacuum that I no longer use, I take a photo of it and post it in BN. Then a neighbor who NEEDS a vacuum sees the post, replies that they would like it, and comes and picks it up from my porch. Conversely, if I, say, have one more holiday gift to wrap and have run out of wrapping paper, I can post “Help! Does anyone have enough wrapping paper left to wrap a shirt box??”. A neighbor will see that and reply that they have some, and I will pop over to their house and pick it up for free. The system is brilliant! It not only keeps things out of the landfill, but it has been a terrific source of friendships for the members of my local BN! I highly recommend you find the one in your area and join! 

Anyway, that background on BN is so that you will understand this first use of Kindness Activist funds. I noticed in my BN group that WATER TABLES for kids were a hot commodity. Whenever anyone listed one, many people commented that they wanted it. I saw that as a supply issue – there were simply not enough water tables in my neighborhood!!! 

So, I posted this in the group: “We do not have kids, and WATER TABLES were not a thing was I was little. However, I see they are in demand here, and I would like to gift someone with one that I will purchase with Kindness Yard Sale funds. This is the one that looks good to me (good reviews and pretty colors!): (link to water table) I will not necessarily be giving to the first person who responds. Will choose by the evening of July 4th and order it to be delivered directly to the recipient. #BuyNothingRocks #ItTakesAVillage #WaterTablesLookFun “ 

Lots of people replied – some to say water tables are great, and some to put their name in the hat to get one. I ended up choosing 2 families and getting 2 tables. I love that it was all done thru BN, because I know that when the children they were purchased for outgrow them, they will be listed in the group and find their way to a new home. One of the mom’s who got a water table said this, “I told my oldest one all about you and the kindness process you have going on. He was very, very grateful! He said he will keep you in his prayers and also thanked God for this and all the people that contributed.” Isn’t that so sweet?? 

Playing with their new water table

TOTAL SPENT: $170 

If you have ever lost a loved one and been responsible for any of the post-death arrangements, you will understand this story. 

When someone dies, arrangements continue long after picking out the casket, choosing the writing on the headstone, and the memorial service. There are cell phones to be cancelled. Cable tv to be turned off. Insurance agents to contact. The list is long, depressing, and very daunting. 

So, the other day when we were in the DMV to transfer the title of a vehicle, when I heard the young woman at the window next to us, I knew Kindness Activist money would need to be used. The woman was at the DMV to get a title for a trailer that her father, now deceased, owned. 

He must have had many vehicles and been a frequent customer at the DMV, because the employees there knew him. The young woman explained that he had died, and the employee working with her said, “I am sorry to hear that” or something similar. But after that quick acknowledgement of his passing, it was business as usual. “Do you have this form? Please sign here. We need to photocopy that…” etc. 

We had to run to the bank to get cash to finish our transaction but before we ducked out, I asked if the young woman would have to pay anything for what she was getting done. The DMV employee said that yes, unfortunately she would. “Please add that to our total,” I said. 

The young woman looked at me with tears in her eyes. I explained that I, too, had lost my father. That I understood how hard it was to keep it all together and tie up the loose ends. We looked one another in the eyes – hers watery and sad- and understood the grief that only daughters who have lost their fathers know. I wished I could hug her, she needed a hug, but Covid prevented that. But she knew she was not alone. 

TOTAL SPENT: $125.25 

A woman in our Buy Nothing group posted this simple message: 

"In search of some sort of giant tarp or plastic sheet that could be used for a water slide! Or if anyone has any unused water balloons We are doing a young adult water games day for our church so I’m trying to collect supplies. Thank you so much!!"

Well, that seemed like a Kindness Activist request if ever I have seen one! Because let’s face it, water days are FUN, and especially if you have the right supplies!! 

I jumped on Amazon and ordered a waterslide, water guns, water balloons, and bubble wands. That was a fun “shopping trip”. Everything was mailed directly to the woman planning the event. She was so excited (as was I!). 

The event was yesterday and went really well!! She posted some fun videos on Facebook of the young adults having a blast. Then she posted this thank you in the BN group: “Due to the kindness and generosity of the Kindness Yard Sale and Susan Thompson-Gaines, our young adult group at church was able to have an amazing water day event yesterday! Through this group, we were gifted a water slide, water guns, bubbles, and TONS of water balloons!!! 

The church group has been really important for young adults in the area during Covid in helping support one another mentally, spiritually, and psychologically as many young adults in the area were struggling with isolation and loneliness - especially since many are so far away from their families! The generosity and kindness shown from everyone on BuyNothing has been so encouraging, and it enabled us to have such an awesome time for young adults to connect with one another and just have fun! So blessed to be a part of this community and thankful for the Kindness Yard Sale and all the wonderful things that have come from it!

P.S. If there are any young adults who are in need of community, support, encouragement and friends, don’t hesitate to message me and I can help connect you to the young adults at Capital Life church 

“He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God.” 2 Corinthians 9:10-11” 

TOTAL SPENT - $149.05 

A neighbor’s refrigerator went out and her landlord was not replacing it. She found a used one (free or cheap, I can’t remember) and someone was kind enough to deliver it to her. 

But have you ever had your fridge go out and had to replace the contents? It is not cheap… So, money from the Kindness Activist fund was used to stock her up!! Doesn’t this cart of food look fabulous?? 

Of course she needed ICE CREAM - don't we all?

TOTAL SPENT - $79.91 

Another neighbor was running a bit low on groceries, so non-perishables were collected from the Little Yellow Free Pantry outside our home, and perishables were delivered to her. Having food – good food – is a critical part of life. And with so many people losing their jobs during Covid, getting food to fill your cupboards and refrigerator is a luxury for many. 

TOTAL SPENT - $58.66 

And finally, the last purchase for this update. 

We were at Target in the self-check out area. When we finished, I saw a woman with a baby in a front pack, the baby covered by a pink blanket. The woman was purchasing baby things – she had a swing in the cart she had already rung up and she was holding some outfits in her hands. 

I understood the “dance” she was doing – it was the “should I really get this?” dance. Sometimes that is a “This is more than I should spend…” dance, and sometimes it is a “Do I really need this??” dance. We stood quietly and waited as she made her decision (GOT THEM!) and prepared to pay. 

That’s when the fun part happened! I popped up next to her and told her I would like to treat her. She was so surprised!! And happy! It turned out her baby Chloe was turning one month old that day. Happy birthday little Chloe. 

Moments like that are so special. To be able to treat someone is an honor. 

TOTAL SPENT - $205.48 

One of the main ideas of Kindness Activist is that when we share stories of kindness – received, given, or witnessed – it inspires others to be kind. And I know for a fact it works! We saw Chloe and her mom walking out of Target and her mom was talking to a friend on the phone, telling them what had just happened. She saw us and asked how to find what we do – I told her about Kindness Activist on Facebook. And later that evening she followed the page. And we heard her tell her friend that she would like to give back. 

See?? It works! If we are not ashamed to talk openly about kindness, we can create ripples. Little kindness ripples. They can be big, or they can be tiny… But ripple after ripple after ripple will spread, and kindness will spread. 

Trust me, it works.

Summer Kindness Pop-Up - LET THE KINDNESS SPREAD! Accounting #1

It seems like the Summer Kindness Pop-Up was just yesterday, but some of the money raised at the event and after ($4430.40 and counting!) has already made its way into the world to spread kindness!!  Here is an update:

• On our drive south recently, we stopped for gas in South Carolina.  I decided to spread a little kindness right there at the gas station by handing out Powerball tickets!  I gave 9 strangers the chance to become multi-millionaires!  Two worked at the Subway restaurant inside the gas station and the rest were customers.  One person looked particularly “down on her luck” – she was at a table with what looked like all of her belongings.  Of course, I will never see those people again, and I doubt any of them won the BIG PRIZE, but I sure hope that woman who seemed to be experiencing homelessness won a few bucks.  She deserves a treat.

Total spent:  $18

Fingers crossed someone won!

• A neighbor contacted me and explained that she was behind on her rent and really needed assistance.  I so respect people who are brave enough to speak out and ask for help.  So many of us suffer – needing help but afraid to ask.  Because of the Summer Kindness Pop-Up, I was able to help her make her rent for the month.

Total spent:  $150

• During a shopping trip to Trader Joe’s, we decided to treat a stranger to a colorful floral bouquet.  We checked out with our groceries and the flowers and asked our cashier to give the bouquet to their next customer.  We went out to our car and realized we forgot an item, so I had to run back in.  I saw our cashier and asked if he had given someone the surprise yet, and he said, “Right now!” as he pulled them out and gave them to a very stunned mother and her teenager.  I rushed off quickly so they wouldn’t see me, but the mom was easy to lipread, “REALLY?  FOR ME?  Who??  Wow!!”.  Later we watched as they walked thru the parking lot, flowers in hand, smiling broadly. 

Total spent:  $7.41

• My sister Annette died of GBM, glioblastoma (brain cancer) in 2019.  When she was sick and coming to visit me in Florida, I got a little silicone ice cube tray shaped liked brains.  I thought it would be funny to have brain shaped ice in our lemonade (that may sound gory, but we tried to approach the situation with as much levity as possible…).  I recently returned to our home in Florida after a 2-year absence and saw the ice cube tray.  Only this time, it was hard to see the humor in it – it made me sad.  So, I decided to give it away to someone else who might be able to enjoy it.  I listed it as a gift in a Facebook group for people who have GBM or are caretakers of someone with it.  Someone replied RIGHT AWAY and said they loved it and wanted it!  It made me happy to see it would get used and enjoyed.  Then another person wanted it!  And another…  End result – I used kindness funds to order 12 more brain ice cube trays!  They will be so appreciated by these patients and families!  I am waiting for them to arrive, then will mail them with personal notes of encouragement. 

Total spent:  $36.16

Would you like some BRAIN with that soda?

• I saw this post on a friend’s Facebook wall – “This summer my partner and I are serving as camp counselors for the non-profit Go Beyond.  We will be taking groups of teens to Wyoming for 10+ days on an amazing outdoor experience!  One of our kiddos is in need of some hiking appropriate clothes and other items for the trip.  We will be taking him shopping to get the things he needs for camp.  To share a little about this teen, this will be the first time he leaves the square block he lives on.  His parents are not currently involved in his life as they struggle with substance abuse and his grandma is his caretaker.  He is full of personality, has no fear and is excited for this amazing adventure!”  I love being able to support these kinds of needs!  Sure, we could donate to the non-profit “Go Beyond”, but because of this ask we were able to help a young man directly!!  He got a memory foam pillow and sheets for his cabin bed among other things.  Happy Camper!

Total spent:  $100

• Oh, this was a FUN ONE!  We were shopping at Home Depot and I had to urge to surprise someone with kindness.  We walked around the tool area until we found the perfect people – a couple that was looking at socket sets.  I noticed that they had been examining them for quite a long time.  I approached them and told them it was their lucky day – they had $100 of kindness money to spend in Home Depot!  The only catch was they needed to do it in 5 minutes.  Their eyes LIT UP!  “Really?  Are you joking???” they asked.  I assured them it was indeed real, and whispered to them to not just get one wrench as they turned back to the sockets they had been studying to decide.  Once they made their selection, they brought it to us and explained that they had been looking for a while because they didn’t really have the money to get what they wanted and needed.  They were going to make-do with a small set because it was what they could afford.  But because of kindness, they were able to get a really nice big set of sockets!  They were thrilled.

Total spent:  $95.37 (they did so well at maximizing their $100!)

Thanks for following along on this Kindness journey.  I consider it an honor to be the keeper of these funds.  Every penny will be used to spread kindness!

Kindness RECEIVED (and an attempt at giving...)

 

Some acts of kindness can blow a person away.  And that’s just what happened to me on April 1^st.

A little boy, Miles, and his grandpa, George, showed up at our front door.  Miles, age 3 ½, had something in his hand, something they wanted to give to me.  I showed him where the mail slot was and explained that’s where the mail carrier puts our deliveries.  I went back inside, closed the door, and waited for the envelope to plop through the mail slot.

Then I grabbed it and went back on the porch with them to open it. 

It was $100.

$100!  No strings attached.  $100 cash to do with what I pleased. 

It turned out George and Miles were on their first stop of a month of SPREADING KINDNESS!  George had made a plan to give $100 each day in April to someone.  To surprise them!  Well, he sure surprised me! 

Miles and his grandpa, George

He explained that I was the first recipient of his kindness.  He had heard about my Kindness Activist projects (like the Little Yellow Free Pantry) and thought I would be able to think of a creative and caring way to use the funds. 

I was taken aback!  It was as if the roles were reversed…  Usually I am on the giving side, not the receiving side…  And as George and I talked and brainstormed about other people/places he could surprise and treat during April, I grew more excited about the possibilities! 

I decided to hold onto the $100 until the end of the month because I wanted to see what George and Miles found to do with their envelopes.  Maybe one of their missions would inspire me in how I should use the money.  It felt like such a huge decision!!!  I wanted to make sure to use it in just the right manner to honor two kind people who had been so generous. 

Well, I got contacted yesterday that George and Miles were going to make a reappearance at our house.  They came the FIRST day of their project, and Miles had chosen me to get ANOTHER GIFT ON THE FINAL DAY!!  I was so excited this morning waiting and watching for them! 

Sure enough, at the appointed time they pulled up on Grandpa’s bike – Miles in his helmet and a special seat on the front.  (Later I would learn that Miles is in charge of ringing the bike bell if someone gets near the bike.  Big responsibility for a little guy!)  Just seeing the two of them made me smile so big!!  George gave Miles the envelope, and Miles scrambled up the stairs.  We repeated the game of putting it through the mail slot, and I was honored and delighted to find another “hunnit bucks” (as Miles says) inside!!  We talked a while and soon they were off to do another repeat surprise.

George shared the list of places he treated during his month-long adventure.  Here are some of them: 

-          Put money in 2 baby onesies at Goodwill

-          Slipped money under an ambulance’s windshield wiper

-          Taped money next to a sleeping homeless person

-          Put money in random bags of food being handed out at a giveaway

-          Donated to several very worthy organizations

-          Treated school lunch staff

-          And gave a great tip to a server!

That is just a few of the amazing ways they spread kindness.  You can see how careful and deliberate they were in their gifts, which is why I want to make sure I use what they gave me in just the right way.

And I really thought that I found the perfect opportunity to share the kindness this afternoon!  It was the same day as the gifters had returned, and I saw just the right opportunity (I thought).  It felt like kismet!

Through the kitchen window I could see a woman stopped at the Little Yellow Free Pantry.  The bags she carried made it appear that she may be homeless.  As I do whenever I see someone browsing in the pantry, I rushed out to greet her.  She looked about my age and was very sweet.  She said that because it is the end of the month, she was low on food.  Food stamps would come Monday. I explained that the food in the pantry is donated by caring neighbors and if she told me what she wanted I would go inside and make a bag.  She had seen a small container of chocolate milk in the pantry and said that was all she needed. 

And that is when she began teaching me the lesson – but I didn’t sense it yet. 

All of my, “No, really, there is a lot of food in the house, just tell me what you would like and I will bring it out for you!” utterances were met with her assurance that the small chocolate milk was all she wanted.

We continued our conversation – talking about how great the weather is, how nice the neighborhood is, etc.  I encouraged her to smell a rose on our bush – they are the sweetest smelling roses ever.  She talked about healthcare, yoga, meditation…  We talked about diet and what food means to people.  After a while my sweetheart David came out and joined us.  It was nice, the 3 of us standing and chatting.  It sort of felt like the “old days” pre-Covid. 

At one point she told us she “lives outdoors”.  I loved that expression.  It held dignity in a way that “homeless” does not.  It made me think she was not “less” a home, she was “more” an outdoor space.  As she let us into her world it was clear that there may be some mental illness involved.  Sometimes her reality and “normal” reality (“normal” was her word, not mine) did not seem to mesh.  I was so honored that she felt comfortable talking with us.  She eventually talked about being homeless – how it is different in each city she has lived in, and how in DC it is particularly dangerous.  I asked if she wanted to live outdoors, or if she would prefer to be housed.  She smiled and told us that if we had asked her that in the cold winter, she would have said housed, at least for a night.  But now that warm weather is here she is happy being in the open air.

As we talked, I thought of the money given to me this morning.  I felt THIS WOMAN was the right recipient.  Imagine what $100 could do for her!  A hotel for the night if she wanted – soft bed, warm shower…  A nice, warm meal.  Vitamins for her health.  A better bag to carry her things.  So many options.

I told her I had a couple of things for her and ran into the house to get scissors, a clothes pin, and $100.  I told her I was going to give her the rose we smelled, and she resisted the gift.  She said to leave it on the bush for other people to smell as they went by.  But I insisted, and cut it off and presented it to her with the clothespin so she could pin it wherever she wanted.

Then I pulled out the envelope with the money.  I explained that I had been gifted this just this morning to spread kindness, and I chose her to receive it.

Her gentle eyes looked at me.  She smiled.  And she said no thank you.

“I have a rule, a personal rule, not to take money from people,” she explained.

And all of my, “But it is for YOU!” and, “Here, I put it in the pantry, now you are taking it from there and not from me…” did not work.  She would not take it.

She explained that she did not need the money.  She was good.  And I think she was right - she looked content. 

I told her I would hold it for her.  I have written her name on the envelope and hung it on the refrigerator.  I suspect she will come back to talk.  I told her she can ring the doorbell anytime and ask for her money – if she doesn’t want all of it, maybe $20 or $5.  She smiled.  She knows it is there for her. 

I hope that the bad people in her mind quiet down.  I hope that she meditates as she walks, like she learned to do in another city.  I hope that she stays safe.  I hope she gets vaccinated.  I hope that she finds a quiet, warm place to sleep tonight.

And I thank her for the lesson.  Sometimes, even when it seems like you have almost nothing at all, you have absolutely everything you could want.

Little Free Yellow Pantry - Day 20

Here is a quick update on the Little Yellow Free Pantry!

SOOOO many kind people have donated!  Oh my goodness, the first few days after the pantry opened we were overwhelmed with donations!  It seemed that each time I emptied the big plastic bin for donations on the front porch, it would fill up again!  I have set up a big pantry in the basement and sorted items by type – canned vegetables, canned fruits, breakfast items, pasta, etc.  It feels a bit like a little grocery store down there!

And other kind souls donated cash for the project - $510 to be precise!!  Isn’t that amazing?? 

So here is how it is going:

It was slow at first…  We set the pantry up on the quieter side of our home (though both sides are busy, the location where we installed the pantry has less car traffic).  We thought having it on the quieter side would mean more privacy for visitors.  We felt people would feel more comfortable stopping and shopping if it was not too exposed.  And I think that assumption was right.

View inside the pantry this evening

What was NOT right, and in hindsight I now realize, is WHEN we opened up.  I was so excited when the building of the structure was done that I wanted to fill it and open it immediately!  But, because of my privilege, I had not stopped to consider that the beginning of each month is actually the time when most households have groceries!  So here we were – so eager to share – but cupboards were full.  It was a good lesson to learn, and a reminder I need to try and look at life through other peoples’ lenses and not just my own.

What neighbors have donated is incredible.  Because our community is so diverse, the donations are diverse!!  I love it!!  There are Japanese foods, Hispanic food, organic foods, junk food, Korean foods, you name it!!!  And there are items from every possible store – WalMart, Trader Joe’s, Wegmans, Grand Mart, you name it!  It is so fun!

A neighbor knew EXACTLY what to donate!  She gave a box full
of this - people use it to make tortillas and are always excited when they see it!

Vietnamese Noodles!

A woman not only donated pasta and sauce - she donated the
POT TO COOK IT IN!  

I made some more signs and we hung them around the neighborhood.  And I think word is getting out!!  We have visitors daily now.  I love it!  The BEST is when I see someone at the pantry looking.  I grab a mask and go out to talk!  I explain that if they tell me what they want, I will go downstairs and make up bags for them.  They are usually so sweet and humble that they are afraid to tell me what to pack for them.  But I don’t want to give someone who hates spicy food hot sauce, or someone who is diabetic sugary cereal, so I usually ask some probing questions and get a general idea before I rush down to get their items.  It is fun!

And, because of the cash donations, we have been able to do personalized grocery trips for 4 families so far!!  Many people are still laid off from the pandemic, or are full time students (you know how expensive that is!), or just need a little more food for the table.  So, I ask them to give me a list and we hit up the grocery store.  David and I love to grocery shop, so it is perfect!  We also bought some MEAT this afternoon to give away and put a sign on the pantry to ring the doorbell if you would like meat.  We have spent $234.59 on fulfilling grocery lists (leaving $255.61 of the cash donations for the project to spend on more personalized lists). 

Today one visitor was happy to share with us that he has gotten 4 coats from Project Warmth at our house.  One he kept and wears, the others he sent to his family in Guatemala.  He is going to come back and show us photos of the family members who got the coats in his country.  He was beaming with pride that he could provide for his family.  It was beautiful.

Before I close, I want to tell you about one daily visitor.  He appears to be experiencing homelessness.  The first time he came his speech was quite confused and he was agitated.  I spoke with him but he would not take anything.  The next day he came, he was more coherent and I brought him out two cold juice boxes, which he liked.  The next time, more juice.  Yesterday when I saw him, he had already arrived at the pantry before I noticed him walking up the sidewalk.  He had found a Gatorade inside and opened it.  As I grabbed a mask to go outside and talk with him, he poured half of the Gatorade on the sidewalk…  Then he grabbed a little cup of mandarin oranges and opened it.  He poured the oranges into his Gatorade!  Isn’t that a great idea!  (Well, it was a messy idea, because half of the oranges landed on the sidewalk, but still, juice and fruit together!  Good combo!)  So TODAY, oh today was brilliant!!  We were outside enjoying the sunshine and I saw him coming.  “Talk with him, I am going to run in and make his order!!” I told David.  So, he and David had a conversation as I rushed downstairs.  When I popped out on the back porch I asked, “Fruit INSIDE the Gatorade again today, sir??” and he gave me a nod.  I carefully put the mandarin oranges in so he could get every last one.  I went out and gave him his treat and he thanked us, smiled, opened the bottle, and walked away drinking it.  Made me so happy!!  I love that the pantry seems to be becoming something of an anchor in his community.

Mandarin oranges in Gatorade - perfect recipe

Many people have asked what donations are needed.  Here are some things we could use:

-          Gatorade (the medium sized bottles)

-          Pasta sauce

-          Canned vegetables

-          Cheese (I will keep it in the refrigerator and put it in bags when visitors come)

-          Butter (again, I will keep it in the refrigerator until someone needs it)

-          One case of bottled water

-          Cash (Venmo @susan-thompson-gaines or PayPal thompsongaines@msn.com ) to be able to do more personal shopping for people

-          Peanut butter

-          Sugar

-          Breakfast bars (granola like bars)

-          Fruit strips for kids

-          Cookies

-          Regular size boxes of cereal (not the tiny ones, we have plenty of those)

-          Baby formula

-          Laundry detergent pods

-          Deodorant

-          Hot sauce

-          Ground coffee

And for the moment we do NOT need:

-          Fruedels (they give them out with school lunches and we have too many Fruedels to count!)

-          Individual cups of fruit (we have a lot)

-          Pasta (we have a lot, just need sauce)

-          Dry beans (we have a lot)

THANK YOU for all of the support on this adventure.  It means a lot to me and to the community.  We all deserve food – GOOD FOOD.

Grieving Kindness

As this project has proven, kindness comes in all shapes and sizes.  It can be grand and flashy, or it can be quite and gentle.  The Kindness Activist this story is about is one who understood in her heart the importance of LISTENING.  Attending.  Making space for others to share.  And that is just what she did.

Staci is a member of a Facebook group that I am in.  It is one that not a single member wants to be in, yet we all find ourselves there.  It is a Sibling Grief Support Group.  Sadly, the group membership grows daily (it is over 9,500), as people find it and join to try and find people who might understand their grief after losing a sister or brother.  It is a supportive group.  One topic that is raised frequently is the feeling that, as siblings, our grief is not expected by others to be as difficult or long as, say, a parent or a spouse. 

Having lost her brother, Staci understands that.  And so, the other day, on one of her rare days off work, she posted this: “So, I’ve been reading more and more about people feeling that they can no longer talk about their siblings to others. I happen to have the entire day off today. So, tell me about them. What’s their name, what was their passion, their likes, what do you love most about them, what do you miss the most about them? Post it here or you can send me a DM. But I’d love to talk about your siblings with you.”

Think hard about the KINDNESS of that post.  Staci was willing to LISTEN.  Listen to difficult things.  Expressed by strangers.  Things that no doubt would bring up some triggers for her.  And not only was she going to hold space and listen, she REPLIED.  She commented on posts as they poured it.  It was beautiful.

Staci and Seth - her little brother and best friend

  

I asked her why she took the time to use her day off to do that, and Staci told me, “Over the past few weeks, and really since I joined the group, I’ve been seeing people post about how they feel they can’t talk about their siblings to others anymore. So, I wanted to create a spot for them to do that.”  How kind!!  It takes a huge heart to be willing to be there for strangers all around the globe.  

And her responses!  She showed in her responses that she paid close attention and empathized with the writers.  She said, “I made it a point to respond to every single person. I didn’t want anyone left out.”  And to put it in perspective, this was not just a few posts.  Last she checked there were 256 answers!!

When I asked Staci if I could share this story, she (like many Kindness Activists) said she did not do it to be recognized.  But she so deserves to be!  Members of the group expressed their heartfelt thanks, like this message that was posted, “Wow, Staci, what a gift you have given all of us!  Thank you so much for this.  I cried just reading your initial post – such a kind gesture.”  And this comment someone shared, “I love this post.  It seems like at first everyone wants to know about them and after a couple months it feels like a burden to continue to talk about them, when honestly it’s all I think about every day.”  And another member wrote this about Staci’s kind gesture, “This is such a kind and thoughtful post.  Thank you, Staci.  You’ve spent your day off letting others tell you about their wonderful siblings.” 

I asked Staci how the whole experience had made her feel, and it turns out, it was not only good for the other group members, but it was good for her, too.  She said, “I felt like I was getting to meet their siblings. I loved meeting them through people that truly love them. All the stories and passions and accomplishments and personalities.” She took time to thank people who wrote, too, by posting in the group, “Thank you again for everyone telling me about your siblings.  I’ve loved meeting them through you.  And when you’re feeling lonely or sad, or just missing them, maybe thinking of this amazing memory that makes you laugh and you wanna share it – feel free to come back to this post.  I don’t get many days off and sometimes it might take me longer to reply, but I will always eventually respond.  Such amazing and beautiful people you all got to call siblings.”

Siblings FOREVER

When I asked Staci how she thought her gesture made the others in the group feel she told me,  “I hope it made them feel heard. To feel like they don’t have to be quiet. I hope it made them happy even if just for a second to relive those memories of their siblings with me. I really just wanted people to feel like someone cared. Someone was here and willing to listen and talk with you about them. To just say, ‘Hey - I know you lost them, and I’d love for you to tell me more about them,’ instead of feeling like they needed to move on or be quiet. To spread the life, love and memories of those closest to us that we’ve lost.”

As someone who lost their sister and responded to your offer to share about her, THANK YOU Staci.  I DID feel heard.  Even though I cried as I told you about my sister, I was also happy.  Happy to remember her and to “share her” with you.

I am sorry that you lost your brother – your best friend and partner in mischief.  If you ever want to sit down and tell me about him, I am all ears.  Thanks for paving the way to let people open up their hearts and share their stories.

Coats of Kindness (and Much More!)

How about another update on how Kindness Yard Sale funds are being used?  Thinking about where the money goes makes me feel happy and hopeful, I hope it does you, too!

Black History Month Library – Representation Matters.  And there are not a lot of children’s books for Black children.  So, when a neighbor said she was looking for books to read with her child for Black History Month, I knew where some Kindness Yard Sale money would go – a little Black History Month library for the neighborhood! 

                                                               

I ordered 16 great books from Amazon and added more that I had in my collection.  I got a plastic bin, printed up a sign-out sheet with Covid cleaning protocols, and let the neighbors know the library was open (our local county library is closed due to Covid).  Something great about this project is that it can live on – those books can be borrowed by many families over the years.  It has been fun seeing people come and borrow books, and one woman read one aloud in this awesome video!  The book she reads here was written by Meena Kamala Harris’ niece, and it is really good:  Ambitious Girl, Read Aloud - YouTube  

Kindness money spent:  $230.14

Crystals of Kindness – this was such an easy project and touched quite a few families in our neighborhood.  A friend posted that she had done a project with her kids – growing their own crystals!  They looked cool, and she posted the “recipe”, so I tried it!  And guess what – it worked!!  With the knowledge that it was both simple and fun, I asked neighbors if they had any empty jars I could have. 

That was an easy ask, because our recycling company doesn’t pick us glass like they used to, but we are all tree-huggers so never throw the jars away!  I also collected pipe cleaners from neighbors.  I had the other things I needed at home, the only thing I had to purchase was Borax.  So far 25 of these kits have been used by families to grow their own crystals, and 8 more are ready for pick up!  

Crystals after only one day!

Instructions for how to do this project yourself: 

Supplies needed:  glass jar that holds over 2 cups of water, one pipe cleaner, a stick of some sort, string, 6 tablespoons of Borax, water

Instructions:

Bend your pipe cleaner into a heart shape

Dissolve the white powder (which is 6 tablespoons of Borax) into two cups of boiling water

Pour that solution into the glass jar

Tie your heart onto the string, and the string onto the stick

Suspend the heart into the jar so that it is covered by water

Observe over the next day(s) as crystals form

Kindness money spent: $14.48

Warm Kindness – for the past 6 years I have hosted “Project Warmth” at our front gate.  The first couple of years, I hung out sweaters, coats, hats, mittens, etc. from our closets that we no longer used.  Then I realized that so many people have extras and would love to share, so I asked for donations of cold weather gear.  Oh my goodness!  So many people have donated this year, and so many pieces of winter wear have found new homes through this project!!  I check the display several times a day, and when it is empty I replace things.  One time a nice warm coat found a new home before I could even make a pot of coffee!!!  

We have given away coats, sweaters, scarves, gloves, hats, boots, mittens, neck warmers, thick socks, snow pants, jeans…  Some people see the display when they walk by, and others have pulled over in their vehicles to pick up a warm item.  Can you imagine being out in the winter weather without a heavy coat or hat?  And people have donated such NICE things!  Brand new kids’ snow pants.  Hand knit hats.  Beautiful scarves.  Barely used heavy boots.  One woman even mailed boots and coats to me from South Dakota!  Isn’t that amazing? 

I put a little note with a $20 bill in one of the coat pockets.  I hope that the person who got it could use the money to get themselves a special little treat, maybe some hot cocoa and lunch!

Kindness money spent:  $35.98 (the $20 gift and a new hook to hang items on)

Dollar Tree Kindness – One of the simplest ways to spread kindness is to pick up the tab of the person in front or behind you in a check-out line.  And that’s just what we did in the Dollar Tree.  Once we checked out, I told the lady behind us that her order was covered with Kindness money.  Even though she was wearing a mask, her smile shone through in her eyes. 

Kindness money spent:  $11.77

You Deserve a Treat Kindness – We all have days where we wish we could just go back to bed, bury our heads under the covers, and wait for a do-over the next day.  But if you have a job, chores, or kids to take care of, sometimes escaping reality just is not possible. 

And that’s where TREATS come in!  Kids get treats, so why shouldn’t adults??? 

When a neighbor expressed that she was having a super hard day, we surprised her with a bottle of wine and a slice of cake meant JUST FOR HER (no need to share, like Moms almost always have to do!!).  Little gestures like that can be huge boosts for exhausted people. 

Kindness money spent:  $21.07

And finally for this recap, Meats of Kindness – So many people have been affected by Covid-19.  Of course, many people have fallen ill and/or lost family members to the illness.  And people have also lost their jobs, meaning losing housing and having a hard time putting food on the table for their families.  One family in our community was having a hard time affording groceries, so I asked them for a $25 shopping list.  I mean, obviously they would appreciate whatever food was given, but it felt important to get what they NEEDED and WANTED.  All they asked for was MEAT.  They explained that when you are getting food from food banks, meat is very, very hard to come by.  So, they said would be super grateful for any meat we could get.  Luckily for them, we are discount shoppers!  

We got 4 different kinds of meat, then added some chips for the teenagers in the family 😊.  They were very grateful (and I bet they got a nice few meals out of it!).

 Kindness money spent:  $33.76

Thank you again to all who donated items for the sale, shopped at the sale, donated funds, gave winter gear, and provided support.  These acts of kindness may not be big enough to change

Thank you so much to everyone who has been supportive of this mission.  Thank you to those who donated items for the Kindness Yard Sale, who shopped at the sale, who donated funds, who dropped off winter gear, and who provided encouragement.  These small act of kindness are not big enough to change the world, but they are big enough to make a small dent…  And if these acts inspire YOU to go out and be kind, well, then the kindness will ripple further and further and further…