Clean Clothes of Kindness AGAIN!

There are some things in life that HAVE to be done, regardless of your lack of time, lack of motivation, lack of energy, or lack of funds.  And one of those things is LAUNDRY.  There is only so long you can wear that pair of jeans or sleep on those sheets before, well, they simply must be washed.

Now, I live a life of privilege, and having access to a washer and dryer in my own home is proof of that.  I can simply carry a basket of dirty clothes to my basement, put a load in the washer, and go about my business.  I am even privileged in the DETERGENT category – I have a membership to a big box store, so I can buy a BIG box or jug of detergent, saving me money. 

But many, many Americans do not have the same privileges that I do.  For lots of people, the laundromat is a way of life.  So recently, for the second time, Kindness Activist hit up a local laundromat to pay for some strangers’ laundry!  And it was fun!  We had one item that needed a big commercial washer to clean (a duvet), so that was just the excuse we needed to go into a laundromat and treat people to free cleaning.

We started by cashing a $20 bill into quarters.  Then we realized we needed another $20 for this mission.  We were going for it!

Now, when we did this kind act last year in Arlington, Virginia, it was an interesting social experiment (link to that story at the bottom of this post).  Several people that we approached declined our offer to pay for their laundry.  Maybe it was our approach?  Who knows.  But I went into this mission in Ormond Beach, Florida steeled for a bit of rejection. 

But honestly, not much rejection happened!!  People were surprised and happy when we approached them and offered to pay for their laundry.  We paid for a mom and daughter’s several loads.  We paid for 2 elderly women’s drying (they had started their washers before we arrived).  We paid for a young man’s drying (again, the washing was going when we got there).  We paid for several loads a couple brought in.  And we had a good time!

Three people we met stood out.

1.      A man probably in his late 30s was loading up his dryer.  My partner David approached him and explained what we were doing.  He said, “It’s ok, I’ve got it.  Please use that money for someone who needs it more than me”.   After he got his machine going, he walked over to us and gave us a $5 bill.  “Here, get some more quarters so you can help more people,” he told us.  Heart.  Melt.

2.     A woman had a big basket full of dirty clothes and I approached and told her that the laundry was free tonight.  She couldn’t really believe what was happening until I showed her the quarters…  She was so delighted!  After the washers were going, she came over to talk with us.  “I don’t want to be nosey…  And if you don’t want to answer that’s fine.  But…  Are you Jehovah’s Witnesses?” she asked quietly.  We explained that we were not, then I asked her if she was, and she smiled and said yes.  She thanked us several times and told us the story of her car having trouble just today when she was driving across town.  She has an appointment to take it into the shop tomorrow, so not having to spend money on clean clothes was perfect timing.

3.     A man came in with a backpack and bag full of dirty clothes.  From his appearance, I guessed he might be living on the street.  David went up and explained that we were paying for everyone’s laundry tonight.  Boy was he happy!!!  He said he hadn’t been able to wash clothes for 3 weeks because he didn’t have enough money.  When David offered laundry detergent, he gladly accepted it.  “Oh great!  I just have dish soap,” he said, “And really, all that does is make bubbles…”.  Once his load was in, he set about doing all of the other things that a trip to the laundromat could include, like charging his phone and using the bathroom.  I saw him peek in a trash can and pull out an empty small bottle that had held detergent.  I wondered what he planned to do with it, but I didn’t need to wonder for long.  He added some water and used that diluted soap to spot clean his dirty backpack.  Ingenious!  The clothes he was wearing were quite dirty and I wished that he could throw those into the wash, too, but that isn’t possible when you are doing laundry in public instead of in a home.  When his load was finished, I went up and said, “OK, which dryer?  Let’s get these done!” and he explained that he couldn’t stick around to dry them, he was going to fold them up and leave with them wet.  “I am on a bicycle,” he explained, “I can’t ride after dark, I don’t have a light.  If the cops get me, that’s a $36 ticket.  And that would be TWO tickets…”.  Ahh, so he must have an unpaid ticket in that backpack.  Oh boy.  David and I looked at each other and both said, “I wish we could just buy him a bike light”.  It’s moments like that when it hurts – you can’t save the world, no matter how hard you try.  At some point, you have to accept that what you have done is enough.  The man took off his dirty shirt and replaced it with a clean, wet one.  And as he left with his heavy bag of wet clothes, he thanked us again and shook our hands.  He was very grateful.

 

Just then the man who had given $5 came back inside to retrieve his clothes from the dryer.  David went up and quietly thanked him again for the donation and said that the man now going out the door had clean clothes because of his generosity.  Well, the donor reached for his wallet and went out the door, turning in the direction of the man who had left with his big bag of wet clothes.  We don’t know what happened because we were still inside.  Maybe he gave the man some money, maybe he offered him a ride somewhere, we aren’t sure.  We do know that when we left, the man with the bicycle was still outside and the sun had gone down.  Three police cars with lights on were in the parking lot and had a car pulled over. 

 

        I hope he has a place to lay those wet clothes out to dry.  I hope he didn’t                    get another $36 ticket.  And I hope he is happy and peaceful.

 Kindness Activist funds used:  $37

Donations that came in and were used on the spot:  $5

Link to previous story about the laundromat:  Clean Clothes of Kindness

Kindness Around the World

Kindness Activist began as a simple blog in December 2015 as a way to share stories of kindness with the few people who found their way to the site.  But in the 8 ½ years since this project began, it has grown much more than I could have ever imagined and afforded me opportunities to share stories of kindness with people literally around the entire world.  

You see, this simple act of talking openly about kindness has caught on!  And it has opened doors for me with major media outlets.  But some of my favorite Kindness Activist “bookings” are talks with real people.  Talks with troops of Girl Scouts, helping them brainstorm on what their kindness project should be about.  Talks with groups of high school students.  And recently, a virtual talk to university students around the world.

Heram is a beautiful young woman from Afghanistan.  She and her family stayed with us in our basement apartment as they were getting their lives together and starting over after fleeing Kabul during the war.  Heram is now in university and was part of a program which required her to organize an event as the final project.  She reached out and asked if I could give a Kindness Activist talk, and of course I said yes!  I was honored to be invited to speak. 

The talk was early Mother’s Day morning, and there were technical glitches with the video platform, so turn-out was low.  But as so often happens in life, just the right people were present!  You see, as part of the talk, I offered to sponsor some Kindness Activism.  I said that if anyone would like to host a Kindness Activist project, I would give them $100 to fund it.  The only stipulation was that they had to agree to write a story about the project afterwards and share photos or drawings so that I could post about it here on the blog and account for how the money had been used.  And three people contacted me shortly after the talk and expressed interest in joining in the activism.  One sent me this email:

“Dear Ms. Susan,

I hope this email finds you well. This is Sitara. I want to express my sincere appreciation for the activism you have demonstrated. Your efforts have truly inspired me, and I hope to follow in your footsteps to make a positive impact in my own community.

Currently, I am in Kyrgyzstan, and I am deeply committed to helping children in need in my country (Afghanistan). I would greatly appreciate your guidance and support as I embark on this journey.

My goal is to bring smiles to the faces of as many children as possible, and I am eager to contribute in any way that I can. I would be honored if you could provide me with any advice or resources that could help me achieve my goals.

Once I have helped the children in my community, I would be more than happy to share their stories and photos with you.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon.”

See???  This movement is spreading around the world!!  Here was a young Afghan woman, now living in Kyrgyzstan, reaching out wanting to do a Kindness Activist project!!

I replied, and her next message said this:

“I hope this email finds you well. I apologize for the delayed response, as I was occupied with my final exams. Firstly, I wanted to express my admiration for your idea of having genuine conversations with children. It truly resonated with me, and I have actually put it into action.

Recently, I initiated a hybrid project for high school girls in Afghanistan. Unfortunately, due to current circumstances, they are unable to attend regular schools. However, I discovered that engaging in small conversations, actively listening to them, and understanding their perspectives creates a profoundly positive experience for both parties involved.

While I am currently not in Afghanistan, I am fortunate to have my sister who consistently supports me in implementing projects back home. With the potential funding you may provide, I plan to channel it towards assisting children under the age of 15 who are working on the streets. These children have never had the opportunity or resources to indulge in simple pleasures such as toys and candies.

Thank you for considering my proposal, and I eagerly look forward to discussing it further with you.”

Of course, I said yes to this amazing proposal and we set about getting funds to her.  Only, how does one get money to Kyrgyzstan??  Turns out, you do it via Western Union!  I decided that a project of this scope needed more than the proposed $100, so I doubled it and Sitara picked it up at a bank in Kyrgyzstan and set about spreading kindness!!

And, just as she had promised, when she had completed her project, she wrote to me and sent photos (which are beautiful).  Here is the report she sent of her amazing act of kindness in Afghanistan:

Bringing Smiles and Joy: Kindness Activism Program in Balkh, Afghanistan

“On May 28th 2023, Mazar staged an exceptional Kindness Activism Program – meant to make poor street children happy and spread joy amongst those in need at Balkh province in Afghanistan. With a budget worth approximately $200, diligent volunteers put together various entertaining toys coupled with delicious goodies enough for about 30 worthy recipients aged between 4 and 13 years old. This report provides a comprehensive narrative around this impactful event showcasing its effects on beneficiaries' grateful expressions especially among its main stakeholders: vulnerable street children within the locality. 

The Kindness Activism Program rose from committed volunteers who shared an intense yearning to bring forth transformation within underprivileged children's lives. The communal initiative kicked off early in the morning, at a central location, with volunteers organizing various assortments of exciting toys – from dolls, cars, puzzles to sports equipment coupled with pleasantly flavored snacks that truly delighted their young beneficiaries.  The team ventured out on a journey through the city streets seeking deserving kids living in tough conditions or those often witnessed on city streets. 

It was an eye-opening experience for both beneficiaries and volunteers since they met numerous youngsters who endured hardship beyond their age but still sustained remarkable resilience and optimism. Indeed, this Kindness Activism Program had profound effects; it touched almost every recipient's heart as they expressed an open flow of gratitude while sharing inspiring stories with all those involved. For instance, eight-year-old Ali cherished his first-ever toy gift profoundly and pledged always to take good care of it! Such affirmations highlight the power of kindness and how it can transform people's lives even when faced with adverse challenges.

The Kindness Activism program in Balkh province, Afghanistan, was a resounding success, leaving a small but lasting impact on the lives of a group of street and poor children in Mazar Sharif. The distribution of toys and snacks brought smiles, a sense of belonging, self-worth, and hope. The heartwarming gratitudes from Ali, Omar, and Sajjad showcased the transformative power of kindness. The program highlights the importance of collective action and partnerships. The program's success calls for continued efforts to bring joy, hope, and empowerment to underprivileged youth, creating a world where everyone has equal opportunities to thrive.”

Isn’t it so perfect??  This project touched so many lives!  It brought joy to children whose lives have been filled with war and uncertainty.  And it allowed a group of volunteers to come together with a common goal to spread kindness.  This act of kindness stretched across 3 countries:  funding from the United States of America, project management from Kyrgyzstan, and execution by volunteers in Afghanistan!

If you haven’t believed me before when I said over and over that talking openly about kindness starts kindness ripples, perhaps this story will convince you!

Two other attendees of the virtual talk on Mother’s Day will also have projects funded by Kindness Activist.  One woman, an American, would like to buy books to distribute to children in UGANDA, where she is currently living.  I am looking for someone who has an in to a website where we can get a good deal on BOOKS and make the funding for her project go further.  If you know of a good discount online book ordering site, please email me at kindnessactivist@gmail.com .  The other upcoming project is yet to be determined but will be run by two brilliant children in Virginia.  I am guessing as soon as school is out for the year they will put their heads together and decide what they would like to do.

Sitara, THANK YOU for sharing your story of Kindness Activism.  It was an honor to fund your grand idea.  I am so thankful that there are young people like you in the world.  You give me hope that somehow, someway, this world will become a kinder place.

Kindness Activist funds used:  $200

Flight of Kindness

Do you ever consider your INTERNAL thoughts?  The ones that seem to pop into your brain automatically, perhaps uninvited.  They are thoughts that can usually be dismissed, but I recently took time to examine some of mine, because they seemed very worthy of introspection.  They are thoughts I am not proud of, but I will share them here with you in the hopes that they may teach you the same lesson they taught me.

I took a flight on a small-ish airplane recently.  You know the kind – two seats on either side of the aisle.

(And see, saying “you know the kind” presumes from the get-go that you and I have a shared experience.  That we both have been inside just such an airplane, so that when I say, “two seats on either side of the aisle”, you immediately conjure up a mental image of the plane, perhaps even imagine yourself in that scenario.)

Anyway, I was recently on a small-ish airplane.  I got to my window seat and did my usual; window shade UP, armrest DOWN, seatbelt ON – good to go.  Then my seatmate arrived.  And this is when my internal thoughts started swirling…

My seatmate plopped down in the aisle seat and put all of her gear on the floor in front of her feet.  I wasn’t polite enough to even say hello, I kept my eyes glued to my phone screen (I warned you that I am not proud of this story…).  The flight attendant came by and said, “Ma’am, all of your items need to be under the seat in front of you…” in a rather cranky voice.  I wasn’t looking but could feel my seatmate look at the flight attendant, but not move to squish her (rather large) haul of items under the seat.  “Ma’am…” he said more exasperated, “Everything needs to go UNDER the seat.  This area (gesturing to the floor where her feet were covered with stuff) needs to be CLEAR in case of EMERGENCY…”.  Ahhh, that explanation seemed to work, she stuffed and squished her stuff up under the seat.

My internal thoughts were working overtime by this point.  “Why did she think she was so special that she could just leave her stuff on the floor?  Why does she have that big BLANKET with her?  Please lady, keep the blanket on YOUR SIDE.  And a pillow too?  And why, of all flights, is THIS the one that I forgot my mask in the carry-on they made me check planeside.  Ugh.” 

Pretty soon we started taxiing.  And shortly after that, I felt my seatmate’s arm go up, her phone point toward the window.

I tried to ignore what felt like a weird gesture…  Then I realized, wait, she is FILMING as we taxi…

“But lady!” my negative, mean internal thoughts swirled.  “We aren’t even in the AIR yet.  This is literally the tarmac – concrete…  Not gonna be the best video…  And you are in the AISLE seat.  Why didn’t you book a window seat if you want to make a documentary here???”

She kept her camera up, filming.  I kept my head down, looking at my phone.

After a while, she let out a little squeal, maybe more of a squeak.  It was SOME sound.  I must’ve let my negativity show on my face because she quietly said, “Sorry!  First time flier.  I gotta film this for my babies.  They’ve gotta see this!”.

Ahhhhh, ok.  Some of this was starting to make sense.  “Ah, that’s ok,” I told her, then added, “It’s gonna be a while before we actually take off”. 

She stopped filming for a bit and told me again that she was a first time flyer.  As we got to the end of the runway I let her know we would lift-off soon, and up came her camera again.

Her phone inched into “my space”, but it felt different now.  I understood the reason behind the excitement, the awkwardness.  This was new!  She was a grown woman experiencing flight for the first time. 

I tried to place myself in her shoes.  I thought back to my first flight – I was in high school and flew from Omaha, Nebraska to Washington DC.  I remember my parents had prepared me a bit for what to expect.  They told me that someone would come around and offer me a pop (soda) and I wouldn’t need to pay - that seemed to be the most memorable of the instructions. 

Oh, my seatmate was happy.  As we lifted off, she said on her video, “Look!!!!  We are leaving the earth!”.  Her voice was filled with joy and wonder.  As we got to the clouds, she was amazed.  “LOOK – THE CLOUDS!!!” she told her children on the video.  And she was not narrating the video just for THEM, she was gleefully expressing her thoughts aloud.  I watched out the window with her.  When I fly I often I close my eyes before take-off and am fast asleep by the time we are airborne.  Or I keep my nose buried in games on my phone.  But her wonder was contagious and I watched the magic unfold outside the window with her.  “Don’t the clouds look like COTTON CANDY???” I offered.

After a while she pulled the big pizza box out from where she had shoved it and had a few bites of pizza.  The flight attendant brought her a Coke.  She opened her phone and watched videos of her children, and when she noticed me peeking showed them to me.  She has a ten year old and a one year old, and it was obvious she was very proud of them.  They were adorable.

She told me that she had missed her flight in Charlotte, her layover city.  “I got off the first plane, see, and I went to go pick up my bag.  I thought that’s what you do.  Only, when I got my bag, by that time my plane for Florida was already leaving…  Now, why didn’t the man tell me that?  He looked at my ticket.  Why didn’t he tell me my plane was leaving??”.  That broke my heart.  I mean, in the grand scheme of things, missing a flight wasn’t that big of a deal.  But she didn’t have someone like I had for my first flight.  No one sat her down and explained the system – that she didn’t need to claim her bag until the END of her trip.  And that lack of explanation led to her having to go through security in two airports and missing a flight.

As we started to descend, I showed her the ocean and how it looked from the sky.  We saw a ship.  When we got over land, we saw a river and a road.  “Look, see the cars?” I pointed out.  “OH!” she laughed, “They look like toys!!”.

As we got close to the airport, I pointed out the big attraction that we could see from above – the Daytona Speedway.  “Oh!  I know that place!!!  I was there!  That’s where my truck died!  My kid had to sit in the parking lot there!!”.

And that is when more of her story came out.  Earlier she had driven her truck, filled with 8 people, from Virginia to Daytona Beach, Florida.  They must’ve come to Florida for vacation.  But the truck had died…  They ended up having to rent a car to get home, and stay in a VRBO home, too.  Those expenses had not been planned, nor had the cost of the truck getting towed.  So now she was flying back alone to try and get the truck to work and bring it home. 

She told me how much the truck was going to cost to get out, I think it was something like $1,200.  She explained that renting the car had been hard because car rental places won’t take a DEBIT card, you have to use a CREDIT CARD.  “So, I borrowed money from the debit card to pay for the credit card,” she explained.  Again, my facial expressions must have given away the fact that I did not know such a thing was possible.  “Oh, you can DO THAT!” she told me, “Only if you know how to do it!  And I do!” she told me proudly.

She explained that her insurance company might give her some of the money to pay for reclaiming the truck.  “Oh, they will mix it into my premium, but that’s ok with me,” she said.  Sure, anything to get her vehicle, her freedom, back.

Then she told me, “I have nothing.  I am landing here and don’t know where I am gonna stay or how I am gonna get there.  But I am not walking, that isn’t safe,”.  This woman had flown to Florida to reclaim her transportation (which I am sure she desperately needs) and didn’t even have a room for the night…  Oh...  

As we were getting off the plane I asked if she had checked a bag.  Even though we were in a small airport, I felt a sense of obligation to help her navigate her way into the warm Florida sunshine.  “They made me check the bag.  Didn’t make sense, it is the size of a purse!  Don’t know why they wouldn’t let me just hold it,” she said.  Ahhh, so her bag must’ve arrived on the flight she missed…  This would be trickier to figure out, so I decided to stay with her.

I realized that I had never bothered to ask her name.  It felt strange doing it then – like we had been friends for a while and I had to admit I didn’t know how to call her.  I asked, and she smiled and said, “Courtney with a Q!!”.  Ahhh, Qourtney.  Cool name!  I told her mine and introduced her to my partner when he found us in the airport.  He commented on her box of pizza and she said, “This is a $13 pan pizza, I am eating every bite of it!”.  Oh yeah, airport food…

We helped her find her bag.  I told her the area around the airport was safe.  And I gave her a Kindness Activist business card and $50.  I told her it wasn’t much but that it was raised to use to spread kindness and that I hoped it would help her out a bit.  She had not asked for any money, and I hope that she understood that the $50 was out of kindness, not out of pity.

She made me think, Qourtney.  She made me analyze those internal thoughts I had when she first sat down next to me.  It hadn’t occurred to me that this might be her first time flying.  I hadn’t thought about what the reason for her trip might be.

And it hadn’t occurred to me until I sat down later to think how similar she and I are. 

You see, on my first flight of the day (just hours earlier), flying out of my hometown, a town I fly in and out of a lot, I pulled out my phone.  And I held it up to the dirty airplane window.  And I snapped these photos.  Photos of how beautiful the earth looks like from the sky.  How magical things appear when you see them from a different angle. 

 

And in those few hours between when I could see the wonder of flight and when I met my seatmate, I had become colder.  Judgmental.  Less open.

Thank you for the reminders and the life lessons Qourtney.  I hope that you found a safe place to stay.  I hope that your truck can be repaired.  And I hope that you have a safe drive back to your babies. 

We are all so much more alike than we notice. 

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $50

Food Truck Kindness (and More!)

One of the major concepts of Kindness Activist is that EVERYONE deserves and could use kindness.  That’s the reason that Kindness Activist is magic based.  There are many, many other organizations that are needs based – giving funds or items to people in hard financial times.  And yet, sometimes those two concepts – magic based and needs based – overlap.  And the results are lovely.

The first story of Kindness Activist funds being used in this story is purely magic based. 

My partner David is a performer and has toured the world with his shows.  One place he has performed a few times and we have made some dear friends is Orlando, Florida.  So, when we knew we would be near Orlando during the infamous Orlando Fringe Festival, we made sure to grab tickets to some shows and attend!

Between shows, patrons and artists hang out on what I think used to be called (during “our time” at the festival) the “Green Lawn of Fabulousness”.  It is effectively a large green park-like area with food trucks all around, a beer tent, a performance area, and tables and chairs for people to sit, eat, drink, and chat.  On our drive to Orlando I had an idea:  I would work with a food truck vendor to surprise guests with free food!! 

So, after we had seen a couple of great shows and eaten our lunch, I set about choosing a vendor…  The man who had served us our food was super friendly and I knew would go along with this harebrained idea, but his truck was not very visible from the main seating area, and I wasn’t sure how busy it would be. 

Now you should know that when I give talks about Kindness Activism, one thing I mention is that you have to be prepared to “get dirty” when you spread kindness.  Not in the physical, mud on your shirt sort of way, but in an emotional sense.  Because kindness can be messy.  And it can be awkward.  In fact, during my most recent presentation on K.A., one of the questions asked by a young woman was, “But, what if you offer kindness to someone, and they do not want it?  What if they say no?”.  I told her, “Yes, that will happen.  People will refuse the kindness you offer sometimes.  And that is a-ok!  Maybe they are having a bad day.  Maybe they are leery of strangers.  Maybe they are just not in the mood.  But when that happens, just roll with it.  Be ok with that.  And offer your kindness to someone else”. 

But it is one thing to teach that concept, and quite another thing to put yourself into it.  And I have been in that situation enough times to know that it makes me uncomfortable and honestly, makes me feel like a bit of a failure.  So, I had to work up a bit of courage to approach the food truck vendor that I knew could be the “right partner” for me…  It was a cheery little truck near a well-travelled area.  It served items that patrons wanted on a warm day – fresh lemonade, flavored shaved ice, fried Oreos, funnel cakes…  But I hadn’t met the vendor yet, and honestly, from what I watched from a distance, I was afraid he might be a little cranky…

So, I worked up a bit of courage and approached him… 

“How can I help you?” he asked as I got to the truck.

“Hi!  I don’t need to order anything, but I would like to work with you if possible…  I run an organization called Kindness Activist.  We do creative fundraising, and then spend all of the money raised to SPREAD KINDNESS.  I would love to pay for the next $100 worth of orders for your customers,” I explained.

He was a bit stunned.  And confused.  And it turned out he wasn’t alone, his wife was in the truck, too (I hadn’t seen her before), and she wasn’t quite grasping the concept either.  So, I explained again.

“Wait, what?  HOW?” they asked.

I told them that if they could just keep ringing in customer orders until they hit $100, I would give them my credit card (shows credit card so they see I am legit 😊 )!!  And I gave them my business card, so they could see Kindness Activist was a real thing.  They were still a bit confused.  “You can charge the $100 now if you like, if that would make it easier.  Then just serve people until you hit that amount…” I offered.

“NOW???” he said, still very leery.

“Yes sir.  I TRUST YOU,” I countered.

And that was the moment a partnership was born.  My new food truck friends were ALL IN.

They let me join them inside their food truck!!  My new friends

The vendor handed me a stack of tiny yellow coupons, each one worth $1 off any item.  “Give people these!” he instructed.  “We will take $1 off of everything!”.  Oh, he was down with the plan.  He was excited.

I stood near his sign and as people walked by, I chatted with them – “Hey!  This guy is giving people a buck off with this coupon!  They have great fried Oreos!” was my usual line (in all honesty – I love fried Oreos, and I think I ate some from this truck years ago). 

LET'S DO THIS!

And one by one, people got in his line.  Singles.  Couples.  Families. 

I didn’t tell them their food would be free, I told them they would get a dollar discount.  But my new friend was psyched to explain to them there would be no charge!!  This was strange territory for him, and he was digging it!!  After the guests got their orders, he would always point to me and instruct them to, “Be sure to thank THAT LADY!  She paid!!”. 

Another of the key concepts of Kindness Activist is that the people who receive kindness (the lucky folks who got free food), the people who witness kindness (their friends they told when they walked around the festival), and the readers of the kind stories (YOU!) will be hit by a “kindness ripple”.  That those people may be inspired to go out and spread kindness, too.

But I hadn’t planned for the food truck vendors themselves to be hit with such a large ripple.  They were soooo exited to be caught up in this act of kindness!!  When we hit $100 they let me know and ran the credit card.  Even though perhaps a half an hour had gone by since we began our secret mission, they were still a bit dumbfounded by it all.  And in fact, the man who I feared might be a bit cranky had the softest heart.  “In all my 17 years of doing this, I have never had anything like this happen…” he said, with tears welling up in his strong eyes. 

I know that the vendors will re-tell that story of kindness.  They will explain how a complete stranger approached them.  How she handed out coupons for them.  How customers were so excited to get their shaved ice for free.  And how, even though they had not had a profitable week because of rain and wind keeping them from opening most days, that Saturday the sun shone and the kindness flowed. 

Outback Snack Shack

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $100

 

This story of accounting of Kindness Activist funds mixes magic with need. 

In the five years since we began fundraising for kindness, one thing I have learned is that those who have the least often give the most.  They may not give the most in terms of monetary amount, but they give what they have, and it inspires me to no end.

The people I am talking about are the guests who do not have enough food for their tables, so they come to the Little Yellow Free Pantry to supplement what they get at other food pantries.  Only, instead of only taking, they give.  If they have received something as a gift or from another pantry that they do not need for their cupboards, they bring it to the Little Yellow Free Pantry and donate it for others. 

These are the people who do not have a vehicle so rely on public transportation, but if a neighbor is in need, they will spend hard earned money to get on the bus and go to them and help out.

These are the people who, instead of gifts of money or items, offer the most precious gift of all:  their time and assistance. 

I saw one of these such beautiful demonstrations of giving online recently.  A community member commented on a post about something she had recently done.  It was a simple gesture, but one many wouldn’t think to do.  She had given what she had.  Given from her heart.  And it made me so happy.

I know that she relies on public transportation, so I messaged her and explained that Kindness Activist would like to give her some money to top up her bus card.  She was very thankful, but explained that, because of her age, she was able to ride the bus for half price and her bus card was quite good for the time being. 

But although her bus card was funded, she had another worry.  She wrote, “My current anxiety is the country’s debt crisis.  I depend totally on social security payments, and while I can pay my rent next week from my savings, I am scared about not being paid (Social Security) in June and not being able to pay July’s rent”. 

Oh, my heart.

When I hear the stories of the economic situation in the USA, it feels abstract.  The numbers thrown about in the newspaper and on the news are far too large for my brain to comprehend.  But THIS, this example of a real person who lives in our community, this made the dire situation all too clear to me:  if the government cannot agree on a resolution, this woman and many, many others, will not be able to pay her rent.  They may be evicted.

I told her that I had been planning to give her $100 to add to her bus card, and that I would be happy to give the same amount for her to use for whatever she needed.  She was so thankful.  “That would be such an enormous blessing!” she wrote.  “I would accept that amount and sit on it while holding my breath – only figuratively that is”.

Kindness Activist sent the funds her way. 

May we all cross our fingers and hold our breath (only figuratively) that somehow, someway this country figures out a way to get our fiscal house in order. 

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $100

 

And finally for this report, a story of kindness in a classroom.

The school year is almost done, but that doesn’t mean that teachers (underpaid and underfunded) have enough to finish out the year with their students.  One local teacher recently posted this:

“In search of crayons for my elementary students!  By the end of the year, our crayons are looking pretty sad.  Even if you have gently used crayons that your kids no longer use, they would be greatly appreciated.”

Well, if there is one thing I know, it is that NEW CRAYONS are amazing.  The colors!  The perfect tips!  The smelllll….  So, this was an easy ask to decide to fulfill.

Two Amazon deliveries later (oh how I wish Amazon could bring everything at once…) the classroom had a BIG box of 400 bright color chunky crayons and 48 multicultural color crayons (that represent the rainbow of skin colors in our world - oh how I wish these had been around when I was a kid). 

Can't you just SMELL them....

Image by Crayola

Color on, my little friends.  Fill the world with art.

Kindness Activist funds spent:  $97.04

There are a million things one could reasonably say I “should” be doing right now.

But I shall cast those “should”s aside, and instead sit down and write a short story of something magical that happened this week.

May 15^th is my sister Annette’s birthday. 

Actually, some might find it is awkward to say “is”, because most people would say  “was”.  You see, my sister died of glioblastoma (GBM) in December 2019 at the age of 58.  But I say – I am the mourning sister, I can chose to use language in whatever form I see fit. 

So, May 15^th is my sister Annette’s birthday. 

And I chose to celebrate the day by thinking of her and doing things that she enjoyed.

I hit up a local thrift store that was new to me – she LOVED thrift shopping!  And not only did she enjoy it, she was good at it.  There is an art to real thrift shopping, and she was an artist in the highest degree.  And she didn’t shop just “normal” thrift stores, oh no, she shopped at what we call the “junky Goodwill”!!  That’s a store where instead of paying per ITEM, you pay per POUND.  “Treasures” are wheeled out every 30 minutes or so in huge bins, and shoppers go at them like hungry vultures.

Find a Scrabble game missing the board?  She could find it in another bin.

Find a baby toy with 4 out of 5 pieces??  Not to worry – Annette would scour the store until the game was complete.

And find A SHOE – not a pair of shoes, but A SHOE??  You can bet that my sister would find the mate.  (She might even stare down another shopper who was on the same mission and had the mate in THEIR cart…)

I tell you this to say – when I was at the thrift shop and found a single shoe, a shoe that I DID NOT WANT, mind you, but was ON IT’S OWN (and was strangely interesting…) – I STARTED MY HUNT.  I knew the mate was around there somewhere!  I mean, who would’ve bought only ONE SHOE???

I even enlisted the aid of a fellow shopper.  “Ma’am, you see this shoe??  I am looking for the mate!  Can you help me?” I asked.  “Oh honey, those shoes are so YOU!” she said, not knowing that my motive was not to buy the shoes, but simply to succeed in the mission of finding the other one.  Since the shoes had rocks embedded all throughout the sole, I told my assistant to please holler “ROCK!!!” if she spied the mate.

As I looked, I smiled and thought of Annette.  It wouldn’t have taken her nearly as long as it did me to think of hunting in the men’s shoe section.  And when she found it (as I eventually did, then ran with it to yell “roooock!!” at the shopper who was helping me hunt) – when SHE found it, she would’ve bought the shoes.  But since they were much too big for me, and since they looked like actual torture devices, I left them in the store (all matched up neatly now).

But that is not the story I came here to tell. 

I want to share about another part of May 15^th, the part where I went into a nail salon as Kindness Activist to pay for a stranger’s nails.

You see, Annette went to nail school and for a while she did manicures and pedicures.  And decades before that, during my senior year of high school she used toothpicks to paint intricate designs on my long nails many, many times.  So as part of my celebration honoring her birthday, I knew that paying for someone’s nails was on the agenda.

I peeked into the big window of the nail salon near our home.  I felt a sense of panic when there appeared to be NO customers.  This was the one thing I knew I wanted to do on May 15^th.  It was a perfect blend of Annette and me – her nails and my Kindness Activist work.  I walked around a bit and peeked in another window, craning my neck to see the spa chairs. 

And there she was!!!!  A woman with her feet in the water, about to get a pedicure! 

I was so excited.  I had written a little note on the back of a Kindness Activist card that I thought I would give to the recipient as I paid and ask her to give it to the client.  The note said something about how this gift was in honor of my sister who did nails. 

I went to the cash register and explained that I wanted to pay for the woman’s nails.  “What woman?” the clerk asked. 

I thought, ummm, the only woman in here right now???

 

But she insisted that I identify what woman, and so I followed her back to the nail area, expecting to see the woman I had spied through the window.  But, surprise, there were 2 women getting treatments!  Oops!! 

I pointed to the woman I had seen through the window and clarified, “THAT WOMAN!”.

Then I approached her, with her feet in the warm water resting.  I quietly explained that I wanted to pay for her nails today, and that it was in honor of my sister.  “I will pay for the nails, but you leave a good tip, ok??”.  She happily agreed to that arrangement and looked at me a bit in shock.

 

“May I hug you??” she asked.

 

It is rare that I would say no to a hug, so I bent down and we gave each other a big squeeze.  “This is the kind of thing that happens on TV,” she said, “I never ever expected it to happen to me,”.

I paid for her manicure and pedicure, and as I walked out of the salon I cried. 

I didn’t know it at the time, but the woman getting her nails done also cried.

And how do I know that??   Well, I found out 3 days later.

You see, Thursday night I walked out onto the front porch to do some work for the Little Yellow Free Pantry, and a woman walked up.  She smiled a very big smile and said, very thoughtfully, “Thank you”.

Now, you should know that strangers passing our home saying “Thank you” is not unusual.  People holler it from their cars.  People shout it out from their bicycles.  And pedestrians stop and chat and say thanks.

So, at first, I thought this was an “overall thank you”.  You know, thank you for the work you do for the community.  Thank you for spreading kindness. 

But this particular thank you seemed so heartfelt, so personal…. 

I looked the woman in the eye, returned her smile, and said, “You are welcome”.

And that’s when she held up her hands to show me her pink fingernails.

“It was me.  You paid for my nails.  Thank you.”

I never thought I would see her again!  Most of the Kindness Activist actions do not get the closure that this one did.  The woman explained that she and the friend who was with her walk by our home about four days a week.  She knew our house – the “Just Be Kind” sign, the whole vibe of the place.  And she had taken time to look at the Kindness Activist website after I gave her the card with the note on it, so she understood the depth of the work.

She told me that she had tried to write to me several times since May 15^th, but she teared up each time and couldn’t finish.  I told her that part of my belief as a Kindness Activist is that we all deserve kindness.  “I knew you had enough money to pay for your services that day,” I told her.  “If you didn’t you wouldn’t have been there.  But it isn’t about ‘need’, it is about KINDNESS.”

She looked at me intently and explained that the kindness had come at the perfect time.  She had taken herself to the salon that day to try and treat herself – to cheer herself up.  She is going through a rough patch, and she needed to do something special for herself.  And that is when the kindness just magically appeared.

Isn’t that the sweetest?  That it all just happened so perfectly – she was where she needed to be, and I was where I needed to be.  And our interaction brought a bit of healing to BOTH of us that day.  “I never thought anything like that would happen to me,” she said. 

It is not the big things, friends.  It’s not surprising people with new cars or sending them on a week-long vacation.

It is the tiny things.  Smiling at the stranger.  Letting the person ahead of you in traffic.  Complimenting the cashier on their necklace.  Giving a tired mom with a cranky toddler a look of, “This is hard, but you are a good mother”.  BEING KIND.

I hope that after I die, when my birth date is a “was” and not an “is”, people who knew me take time on June 16^th to honor my memory by going out and doing something kind.  Anything!  Just something.

Wait…  Why wait until I am dead???  Maybe NOW, this year, on June 16^th, you can all do something kind for someone…  And you can email me and tell me what you did (with photos or drawings please!!) and I can put your stories of kindness together and share them here!!!  Oh that would be such a wonderful birthday present – I would LOVE it. 

So, if you would be so kind, please go out into the world on June 16, 2023 and SPREAD SOME KINDNESS.  Be a Kindness Activist.  Then email me the story of what you did at:  kindnessactivist@gmail.com .  Pretty please!

 

P.S. – the woman who was treated to a free mani/pedi told me, “I have wanted to come to your house and talk to you, but I didn’t want to seem like a weirdo or something”.  Friends – I talk to people that I have never met before all day!  I love chatting with new people!  So never ever think you are a “weirdo” for approaching a stranger to talk.  The worst they can do is ignore you, and if they do, no harm no foul!

P.P.S. - Here are the thrift store shoes!!  

Before the hunt

AFTER!!!  Found both!  And ouchie wawa they look painful.
I know, I know, they are chakra/massage/special/something-or-other,
but they also look painful and weighed about 5 lbs each :)